Thinking About How When You Experience A Lot Of Shame In Your Formative Years (indirectly, Directly,

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

More Posts from Medeastars and Others

1 year ago

Accepting identities I don't understand is actually extremely easy because I just go "this isn't about me" and move on with my life unbothered by someone else's identity, it's truly that simple.

7 months ago

Superhero plush appreciation post

Superhero Plush Appreciation Post
Superhero Plush Appreciation Post
Superhero Plush Appreciation Post
Superhero Plush Appreciation Post
Superhero Plush Appreciation Post
Superhero Plush Appreciation Post
Superhero Plush Appreciation Post
Superhero Plush Appreciation Post
Superhero Plush Appreciation Post
1 year ago

I'm curious. Reblog this if you know how to cook

I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat. 

1 year ago

I call upon the fan fic writing gods to bless you with the perseverance to finish one of your unfinished drafts. 

May your fingers dance along the letters upon your device with ease, may the devil of distraction stay far from you, and may your work not need much editing.

I pass this blessing upon every fan fic writer out there.

6 months ago

i love him sm i wish we were seahorses so i could get him pregnant


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11 months ago

Adobe is going to spy on your projects. This is insane.

Photoshop’s new terms of service require users to grant Adobe access to their active projects for “content moderation” and other purposes pic.twitter.com/weRjMfWvxx

— Dexerto (@Dexerto) June 5, 2024
Here it is. If you are a professional, if you are under NDA with your clients, if you are a creative, a lawyer, a doctor or anyone who works with proprietary files - it is time to cancel Adobe, delete all the apps and programs. Adobe can not be trusted. pic.twitter.com/LFnBbDKWLC

— Wetterschneider (@Stretchedwiener) June 5, 2024
2 years ago

hey pjo fandom, i wanna do an experiment. in the notes, tell me what your favorite nico ship is and how old you are (general ranges are fine if you don't wanna give specifics!)


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1 year ago

Reblog if its ok to spam you with boops

8 months ago

Love without Sex

I’m doing a Philosophy paper on Asexuality. Please reblog if you think Love without Sex is possible! I really need the data. Like if you think love has to have sex.

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Alone (sometimes posts silly little welcome home theories and other things)

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