Having An Abusive Parent Is Kinda Funny In Retrospect Like Mommy Why Do You Have Beef With Me Im 4 I

Apparently calling Oscar Isaac “Moon Daddy” is not sitting well with the boyfriend

Was this Alli? 😂

A game my friend and I play

Me, feeling up her lumpy-ass phone case: “Why the hell is this thing lumpy?” Her: “I have twenty one dollars in there” Me: “Twenty one dollars to pay for your missing car radio?” Her: (Eyes widen) Her: “Twenty one dollars because I have Cancer” (We literally continue making references until I come up with the kicker) Me: “Twenty one dollars becAUSE I CAN’T AFFORD A HOUSE MADE OF FUCKING GOLD, MOM” Her: (She laughs) Me, sliding underneath my desk while dying laughing: “I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE MY DESCENT INTO HELL”

Y/N : “…Steven and I are supposed to go to the museum together today.” 

Marc : “Well, sorry, but I have something to do. Something more important.” 

Y/N : “Let me guess. A stupid mission for your dear God, Chouchou.” 

Marc : “… What ?” 

Y/N : “… Mushu ? 

Marc : “No. Not Mushu.” 

Y/N : “Shang Chi ?”

Marc : “Khonshu.” 

Y/N : “That’s what I said. Kimchi.” 

Khonshu : “She’s an idiot.” 

Marc : “She is, but not because she can’t get your name, because she’s doing it on purpose, not caring about pissing a God off.” 

Y/N : “Oh, Si Fu is pissed ? So sad.” 

But can a cis guy do THIS?

*drops pants. My dick just fucking flops onto the floor and bounces away*

i love eddie’s “steve” face

he just

all dimples and fondness

boy who got you smiling like that

in conclusion, eddie is weak in the knees for steve

BINNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This isn’t unflattering, this is just adorable

Eddie Brock, professional cutie.

don’t look away

one shot

┗ pairing: xiumin / reader (ft. baekhyun)

word count: 5k

warnings: no plot, no thought, just pure smut, min exposes everyone, explicit unprotected sex, oral (f. receiving), dom!xiumin, a singular spank, biting, edging, voyeurism, mild choking, exhibitionism, manhandling, masturbation

a/n; sometimes, my own writing gets to me. this was definitely one of those times. I swear I’m not a sub but dom!minseok does things to me. also, another drabble turned one shot. couldn’t be helped.

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