The Beetlejuice Musical Is Essentially A Young Couple Dreading Having A Baby But Feeling Like They Have

Embarrassing Music #3

Roman, having recovered: Okay, so I didn't catch Virgil, but someone else has to listen to embarrassing music. Let me think...

Roman: So, Remus and Patton don't get embarrassed about that stuff. I doubt Logan listens to music with words anyway. So... What, D— Janus? What does he even listen to?

Roman: (imagines Janus sitting at a table sipping tea while a classical waltz plays in the background)

Roman: I mean, that might be worse than dancing, especially if he's alone.

Meanwhile, in the dark side:

Remus:

WE'LL SET THE SKY ON FIRE

Janus:

WE'LL PUT THE NIGHT AWAY

Both:

WE'LL BE MADE OF STARS

Janus:

WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU HIGH

Remus:

YOU'RE GONNA FEEL THE FLAMES

Both:

WE'LL BE MADE OF STARS

WE'RE GONNA LIGHT IT UP WOAH-OH-OH-OH

WE'RE GONNA LIGHT IT UP WOAH-OH-OH-OH

A Thought (CW: Eating/Eating Non-Edible Things)

Remus: Eats deodorant (canon)

Patton: Eats play dough (canon)

So...

Logan: Eats books (a joke from way back when)

Roman: Idk, like, makeup or glitter (to be beautiful on the inside too)

Virgil: ...spiders (will not elaborate)

Janus: Swallows whole raw eggs (because snake)

I should add, these are all human AUs, so they are all human and completely mortal in these

Objectively, the dumbest things the sides have done in my fics (not taking into account why they did them) (TW)

Roman: Threw himself down a staircase

Orange: Kissed Logan years after they broke apart their mutually toxic relationship

Janus: Fell off a cliff (and just barely caught himself)

Remus: Made a painting with his own blood

Patton: Agreed to go on a long hike with his friends when he's never been able to before (and was out of breath by the top of the first hill and had to be carried by Remus)

Logan: Realized wayyy too late that Remus (his best friend and previous roommate) and Roman (his friend and current roommate) were brothers

Virgil: Met Roman and in less than a minute, in his second sentence spoken to him, called him out for self-harming

Au where Ranboo's memory is fine he just panicked when they asked him questions and said 'I don't know'

Now he's stuck in this lie and too awkward to admit his memory is fine

Screw it, have some famILY

Patton: *yawn, opens eyes*

On Patton's bedside table: HUGE SPIDER

Patton: *shrieks, jumps out of bed, runs out of room*

Patton: Virgil! Virgil there's a giant bug in my room I need you to kill it!

Virgil: *gets up, follows Patton to his room*

Virgil: *kills bug*

Virgil: That was a big spider

Patton: Yeah I woke up and it was right in my face and I yelled... Well, I'm definitely awake now

Virgil: *laugh*

Patton: Thank you!!

Janus’s light side name is Janan

I feel like a lot of people miss the point of Sherlock's charging-port-deduction when they poke fun at it.

Now, I'm not saying he's right or some genius (or that you shouldn't poke fun at the deduction), I'm just saying that the point of this specific observation was misunderstood.

Because yes, we all try to plug our phones in in the dark or without looking and miss the port a few times. But not hard enough to leave scratches in the metal. When I look at my charging port, there are no scratches there, because I use the appropriate amount of force when plugging in my phone, and I think most of you do, too.

However, when you're completely drunk, there isn't really an 'appropriate amount of force.' You will jam your charger into the metal around your phone port hard enough to leave visible scratches.

It wasn't that the phone's user missed the port; it was that they missed the port with enough excessive force to scratch the phone.

(Which, of course, doesn't even necessarily mean 'alcoholic'; it could just be someone with difficulty with fine motor skills, or who misjudges how much force they need for things, or wasn't wearing their glasses and got very frustrated trying to plug in their phone, or any variety of other scenarios)

Remus: *sigh* I miss Janus...

Roman: He just went to the store, he'll be back in an hour.

Remus: *bangs fist on table* THAT'S WHAT VIRGIL SAID TOO

Hey look, it's me

dee: gets crushes easily

also dee: is unable to imagine himself in any sort of romantic relationship because of his unwillingness to express vulnerability to others

therefore dee: cries

Dee is like "guess ill daydream abt romantic scenarios w these people although never bother to make a move in real life"

Remus, plopping in the kitchen: It's so hard to find a good top these days.

Roman: Right?? It's impossible!

Remus: It's like, too restricting, or too loose, or too short—

Roman: Too short? That's really a dealbreaker for you?

Remus: I mean, unless it's cropped, then yeah. It's a big problem, being above average height.

Roman: *comprehends*

Roman: *slowly turns bright red*

Remus: ...

Remus: We're both talking about shirts, right?

Roman, mumbling: Shut up.

Virgil, raising an eyebrow: I thought Remus was the—

Roman, redder: SHUT UP.