Little Thomas, In His Kitchen, Singing The '(blank Blank) Bo B(blank) Banana Fana Fo F(blank) Me My Mo

My skin is so crispy I wouldn't be surprised if I just shedded it like a snake at this point

Roman, bursting into Logan's room in the middle of the night, sword raised: WHO IS ROBERTO AND WHERE DID HE COME FROM AND WHAT DOES HE WANT WITH PADRE?!

Logan, sleepily: He's the frog that lives in your head. G'night.

Roman, lowering sword: Oh, okay.

Roman:

Roman: waIT HE'S THE WHAT—

Remus and Logan: *playing Hell Chess*

Patton and Janus: *teleport in*

Janus: LOGAN! Tell Patton he does not have birds in his head!

Patton: Logan!! Tell Janus he doesn't know everything!

Logan, raising an eyebrow: What?

Patton: So, whenever my doctor examines my ears, these little birds tweet! He says I have a little family of birds living in my head!

Janus: Correction, to make Patton sit still during checkups, his doctor makes bird noises and pretends to check on birds in his head instead of his ears.

Patton: Hey, I'm perfectly still! I don't want him to poke a bird!

Janus: *gestures wildly at him*

Logan, completely serious: Oh, no, I'm afraid you're wrong here, Janus. I've seen Patton's medical records, he has a small family of birds living in his head and has for years. It's a harmless condition.

Janus: *stares at him in WTF manner*

Patton: Ha! I told you! Devon and his family ARE in my head!

Remus: What's in my head?

Logan, no hesitation: A single rat on a wheel. His name is Maurice.

Remus: Is he a space cowboy?

Logan: And a gangster of love.

Remus, grinning: Cool.

Patton: Ooh! What's in Roman's head?

Logan, also no hesitation: A frog named Roberto.

Patton: Awesome! I'm going to tell him.

Patton: *sinks out*

Janus: WHY.

Logan, smiling mischievously: You've got a transgendeer in yours.

Janus: MOTHERF—

A littol Virgil! (Does this count as fanart?)

Based off the Campfire Au Vee by @tscampfireau (HIGHLY recommend you check it out, it's awesome!)

Logan: Just wrote offly instead of awfully. Can you tell I'm exhausted?

Janus: Yes, because this is a verbal conversation so I don't have any idea what you're talking about.

Logan: ...

Logan: I'm going to bed.

Janus: Good choice.

If anyone's wondering what they're eating—

Roman: Toaster waffles

Janus: He just unhinged his jaw (traumatizing Roman and Patton) and had a few whole raw eggs before leaving to not eat for a few weeks

Remus: Raw oats (just throwing back handfuls and sometimes not even chewing them, Patton is very concerned)

Patton: Cereal

Logan: Oatmeal (he offered to make Remus some out of politeness but he wasn't interested)

Virgil: Dry toast

(I feel it's important to emphasize that everyone is sitting at the table, even Remus, except Virgil, who is sitting on top of the fridge, munching on plain toast)

(Virgil's shooting Janus infuriatingly smug looks because whenever he tries to get on the fridge in the dark side, Janus swats him down with a broom, but he can't do that now haha take that Receipt)

Sides: *eating breakfast together*

School bus: *drives past*

Remus: *sees that it's empty*

Remus: This bus empty,

Remus, miming jerking a steering wheel to the side: SKEET

Remus: *continues eating breakfast*

Patton, the only one not used to this: ???

requested by matt-w-blogging

Patterns: cut

Colors: matched

Bois: pinned together

Reference boi: ready

Special eyes for the special boi: Ready

I see your "character with rose-colored glasses so all red flags just look like flags," and I raise you:

Character with rose-colored glasses so all flags look like red flags

Janus's Name Reveal (I have a lot of feelings about this)

As a refresher for the dialogue:

Roman: PFFFFT!! Janus? Hahahaha! What are you, a middle school librarian? Hahahaha. It's a stupid name.

Janus: Oh, Roman, thank god you don't have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn't know who the evil twin is.

So many people are all like 'oh Janus is so horrible telling Roman that if he had a mustache he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between him and Remus' but HONESTLY!

It was true!

Names are an important, powerful thing, and when Janus revealed his badass name to show he wanted to be part of their team, Roman didn't *just* LAUGH, he said "PFFFFT!! Janus? Hahahaha! What are you, a middle school librarian? Hahahaha. It's a stupid name."

That's a horrible thing to say! He did sound like the evil twin!

Everyone's like 'oh but when Janus said "Oh, Roman, thank god you don't have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn't know who the evil twin is" he was attacking Roman's worst fear' AS IF NOT BEING ACCEPTED AND BEING LAUGHED AT ISN'T A FEAR OF JANUS'S!!

Virgil presented himself as a bad guy so Thomas would listen to him, so they'd taken him seriously, and Janus has proven that he wants what's best for Thomas like everyone else.

So how come he can't have done the same thing? Why is that so hard for people to consider? He has feelings too!

I'm not saying Janus was in the right, I'm saying he was provoked and shouldn't be made out to be the villain when they were both in the wrong (also rip Janus because his name was the only one to be laughed at, Roman didn't laugh at Virgil's name he laughed at Patton saying his name should be Virgin and Thomas immediately stood up for Virgil)

Anyway I still love Roman and Janus and that entire encounter went wrong in every possible way thanks for coming to my ted talk

Quackity: Hola a todos este es mi mejor amigo Bad, le encanta jurar y decir cosas como chingas, enséñale algunas palabrotas en Español—

Quackity también: ¡Ay, dios mío, Dan, lo siento mucho! ¡Olvidé que hiciste contenido familiar y ahora todos estamos jurando! ! ¡Tu imagen! ¡Lo siento mucho!

Verdaderamente la dualidad del hombre