Mariupol | Before And After Russian "liberation"

вони повернуться найближчими днями щоб залишитися і нікуди не йти більше, і сила, спокій та посмішка залишуться теж

Yoshitomo Nara: 'I Don’t Mind If You Forget About Me' (2001)

I've never been this close to leaving tumblr forever than I am now. Y'all are so humanistic, so righteous and merciful, when it's not your country that is being bombed into the stone age, not your people tortured, executed, shot and thrown into a mass grave with their hands tied simply for being citizens of a certain country, speaking a certain language. Not your babies being torn apart by missiles, buried under rubble. Not your relatives held in one of the many torture dungeons, being electrocuted through wires attached to their genitals. Not your houses leveled down, burned with everything inside, every little thing you loved or cared for.

Hell, we can even tone it down a notch. It's not you who is being left without electricity and water, without heating in winter, because it's not you who russia is trying to beat/freeze into submission. It's not you going to bed to the sound of an air raid siren and wondering if you'll wake up tomorrow. It's not you receiving insults, slurs and threats from russians. No, they probably don't have any problem with you, but even if they do, luckily for you, you don't speak russian. Because if you did, you could go to literally any place they hang out, any voice or text chat, any social media and ask them yourself. If only you'd spoke Russian, you could ask them what they think about the genocide carried out by their country, their people. And then you wouldn't have any more questions. Then you wouldn't dare to say it's "racist" to call russians what they are - murderers, thieves and their accomplices.

I never said that all russians support this war, this genocide. And I will never say it, it's just statistically impossible. But many of them do, and another large portion simply doesn't care, which in my opinion is even worse. I have less disgust and hatred for russians who say: "go-go pootin, all khokhols must die", then to those who mumble: "I'm not into politics". Because you can't afford to stay neutral and passive when your country is trying to obliterate an entire nation.

You know, those missiles that kill our people and destroy our infrastructure, they are launched from "peaceful" russian cities. Warplanes that fly to kill us fly - they fly over the heads of the "innocent" russians, who are filming it on their phones and cheering on. The only times they would be sad or pissed about it is when those planes suddenly crush on their homes. Or when something flies into their city in exchange for those missiles that flew out of there. This is when they get mad and demand to kill us more effectively.

Lately we are seeing many protests from the mothers and wives of those "poor" russian men who have been drafted into army. Do you know what they are protesting against? Of course you don't, because you don't speak russian, you don't care enough to find out. No, they aren't protesting against the war, genocide, bombings of cities of a neighboring country. They don't demand for the war to end. They demand that their sons and husbands not be sent to the very front line, they demand that they be placed on the 2-3 line of defense, where it is safe. Or they demand better equipment for their men, again, to kill the citizens of a neighboring country more effectively. Because they are not against the genocide, they just don't want their men to hurt during it. Those of us who understand russian language don't need to look at any polls and statistics. We can just ask them ourselves, and we hear their responds very clearly. Even from our own relatives who live in russia or from our former friends. And I wouldn't wish this horrible realization on anyone. Now there are more and more russians who don't support this war. Because they are losing it. They would have absolutely no problem with it if they could "take Kyiv in two days" as was planned. But now they have regrets.

I'm not asking you to blame and ostracize all russians. That's not the point I'm making here. But maybe - just maybe - you can't forgive people for things they didn't do to you? Maybe you can't be forgiving on behalf of others? If you live somewhere in the US, the russians can never harm you, your city will not be bombed, your relatives won't be kidnapped and tortured. Of course you don't hate them, of course you don't condemn them - it's not because you are morally superior - it's because you literally don't have to suffer from their aggression, either physical nor verbal. Your life isn't constantly endangered because of this particular country and people. Of course you can forgive and defend them all you want, and pat yourself on the head afterwards. Such a nice kind human being you are, not at all insensitive.

It's not like there are people who lost their homes, their loved ones. People living under constant shelling, without power and heat, people who survive day after day against all odds. But those people aren't as merciful as you. Only you are the beacon of humanism in this unfair world, good for you.

When somebody asks you what it is like to live in Kharkiv…

You go to sleep because it is night, because you want to sleep.

At 2 am, you wake up to the sound of explosions and air raid sirens. You lay and listen to the siren’s howl. You should better go and get dressed, take your “grab-to-go” bag and run to the bomb shelter. Still, you lay. Since the first two explosions happen before the siren. The siren keeps telling you to run to the shelter. Siren’s background is another two rockets exploding - one after the other. Then two more.

“That was close” - you think because the blast wave hits the cars parked nearby.

You lay in your bed, and you think that that is probably it. The end. Usually, there are four to six rockets a night. They explode in a row: bang-bang… few minutes pause - bang-bang… Then comes the silence…

You live in a calm district - cannon artillery does not reach here. What about the rockets… The rockets can fall anywhere - here, where you lay, and there, where you may run for a shelter.

The siren goes silent. Then silent go the cars. [It] did not hit here. You feel nothing about the night explosions because they happen every night, because if you feel anything - you might as well go insane. Go insane very fast. Though nothing proves you are not going insane slow.

You know how to do it right. You must be ready to run out of your flat with your urgent go-to bag. You understand that in case of a very near explosion - or even direct hit, you will not have time to dress up - that means you should sleep fully dressed for six months.

But you have not been doing it for a very long time. Because if you want to react to the air raid siren, you should go to sleep right in the bomb shelter. Every night. Maybe somebody does just like that, but every night you go to sleep in your bed. You are not even hiding behind the two load-bearing walls - your flat simply does not have them.

From all the precautions - you do not leave your flat without the documents. If the air raid siren gets you outside, you keep it in mind and go on doing your stuff.

It takes a few minutes for the rockets from Belgorod to reach your house. You know these few minutes are not enough for you to make it to the shelter. And you know you will not even hear the rocket. And to fall on the ground every time you hear the siren - somehow meaningless.

You have found out THEY are running out of precision missiles, and now they hit the city with the old ones. They [the old ones] lack precision. They may fall anywhere. You have the time to think about it when the night explosions have ended and the siren has gone silent. And you may have no time. Because it has been six months…

You go to sleep…

There are explosions again at 4 am - now rather far because the car sirens do not weep. You go to sleep again.

You open social media in the morning and try to know where those rockets have hit. If in the districts where your relatives and friends live - you call them. They have answered - everything is okay…

You make your coffee, plan your day. You work, you help somebody. You do something, only not to sit still. You clean your flat, do the house chores, or you meet your friends. You load your brain with at least anything.

A day goes by.

Here comes the night. You go to sleep because it is night, because you want to sleep.

Six months…

It has been six months…

Spring…

Summer…

Author: Evgeny Fyodorov

😐

The add includes the line “Let’s clean ourselves of compulsory Ukrainian Nazism” (not my translation) and links having a Ukrainian name to nazism. And yet people are still debating on Ruzzia’s intent for this war and what they mean by “denazification” (hint: it has nothing to do with nazis)