Chai Tea Bag + Lil But Of Brown Sugar + Apple Cider Packet + 16 Oz. Mug Of Hot But Not Quite Boiling

Based on @omnivorousshipper‘s stream the other day. !! OUR SWEATER !!

you saw canon and said “it’s good…could be gayer” and ran with it. (i mean this in a nice way obviously)

Fast and Furious is about cars, booties, and hot people with booties driving cars

There is NO reason they can't all be gay

Ok, but Alastor being an old man that doesn’t know technology being boyfriend’s with a Victorian man that taught himself how to craft lasers and code *his own damn ship computer/pocket watch phone* is so damn hilarious. Pentious tries to teach him how to use a mobile phone and he either locks himself out of the damn thing or he presses too hard on the screen and ends up skewering the damn thing with his talons.

HONESTLY. HONESTLY in the sequel to CDIH I plan on doing so much with the fact that Sir Pent is keeping up and Alastor ain’t.

Like. Like just picture. Alastor gets dragged kicking and screaming into using ~modern technology~. Once he has been dragged into using ~modern technology~, by golly, he’s going to use it to have some fun! He’s going to decide he wants to watch music videos on YouTube, which is a web site that he has heard exists. He is going to go to the URL bar. He’s going to type in “http:\\www.google.com”, he’s going to look at it thoughtfully, he’s going to squint at the two different slash keys on the keyboard, he’s going to leave the room to ask somebody which direction the slash is supposed to tilt if you are trying to go to Google Dot Com—

“you’re sure that’s the direction the slash mark is supposed to tilt SPECIFICALLY to go to GOOGLE DOT COM?” “yes, I know what I’m doing,” “no, you don’t need to come help me,” “no, I am PERFECTLY capable of going to Google Dot Com without you holding my hand, I was the king of the airwaves back before most Americans HAD radios, if I could handle the radio I can CERTAINLY handle an overpromoted typewriter, THANK you”

—and then he’s going to go back to the computer and delete the entire URL by clicking “delete” 21 separate times, he’s going to retype it as “http://www.google.com”, and then he is going to click enter.

(And please… if this is how slow and difficult it is for him to navigate to google, imagine how much time and effort someone must have spent to slowly teach him how to turn on a computer, how to open a web browser, what a web browser is for, how to highlight the address bar in order to type in a URL, what an address bar IS…)

And then he is going to click in the search bar on Google Dot Com, and he is going to type in “Hello! How do I reach You Tube?” and he is going to puzzle over the little square that says “I’m Feeling Lucky” for a moment before deciding, no, perhaps he doesn’t feel lucky today, and he’ll click on the little square that says “Google Search,” and google is going to be like,

An actual link to YouTube does not appear anywhere on the first page of results. Alastor is lost. He’s adrift at sea with no sign of shore. He will never find his way to YouTube.

He looks at the little list of tabs up top like,

and he dubiously clicks on Videos, because yes, the You-Tube he has been shown had videos, that’s kind of its thing. And the results are like,

And he very dubiously clicks on the first one.

First it plays an ad—oh, he succeeded, he found a video!—and then it plays another ad, Alastor has no ad block, the concept of “ad block” does not exist anywhere within his understanding of the universe, and then it starts playing what looks like an old black and white movie like,

Oh it’s a picture show! He found a picture show on the Internet! How wonderful! He doesn’t recognize the movie but it’s in black and white, it must have been made in his time—

And then a minute and twenty seconds into the video it FINALLY starts playing music and he’s like I DID IT I FOUND THE MUSIC VIDEOS I WAS PROMISED. He pats himself on the back, he’s great at using modern technology, he’s got this all figured out.

He’s got a little yellow pad and pencil he keeps next to the computer to jot down the “Internet addresses” of songs he likes so that he can type them into the “Internet address bar” when he wants to watch them or listen to them again later. He’s found that you have to write them down fast, even though they’re very long, because when the song ends it will move right on to the next one—just like the radio when a song ends—so if you dawdle it will vanish and you’ll never find the song again!

Guess what feature Alastor hasn’t noticed exists and doesn’t know he can turn off.

Guess what other features Alastor doesn’t know about.

Making an account so he can save videos.

Back buttons to go back to a song if he missed the URL.

The controls on a video.

If Alastor likes a song and wants to hear it twice, he clicks on the search bar and types in the whole URL one letter at a time and clicks enter to get it to re-load and play again.

And he’s got no control over this mad unhinged machine that is the YouTube algorithm system, its autoplay is like a car with a brick held down on the gas and nobody holding the steering wheel, it’s just taking Alastor wherever the fuck it wants and if it starts ducking into weird fucking videos Alastor is just going to assume that that’s how YouTube works, it’s no different from the radio, sometimes you’re scheduled for music and sometimes you’re scheduled for ads and sometimes you’re scheduled for interviews or a talk show or news or whatever.

Which means eventually if he lets this untamed shambling A.I. behemoth keep careening around wherever it wants to go, it’s going to start meandering into the niche/weird stuff. EVENTUALLY it’s going to stumble onto something off of Sir Pentious’s channel, and he’s going to open up the video sounding like a Boomer trying to sound cool, like,

(I told the link to load at 5:33 but I think it’s not going to do that on tumblr, I know you all are capable of going to 5:33 yourself because y’all are five million times more competent with computers than Alastor is, just skip to that time ok cool thanks good job)

Video opens up on Sir Pent like that and Alastor is absolutely flabbergasted that Sir Pentious is on the You Tube and then Sir Pent’s like “so I broke into another church to take a joy ride on their pipe organ, per my last video this is the song all four of my followers requested for me to play!” and he takes off like,

and Sir Pent’s trying to sound cool, ends like “Sssmasssh those like and subscribe buttons if you’d like to sssee me illegally play someone else’s pipe organ! :>” and Alastor is sitting there going I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO SMASH ANYTHING SO MUCH IN MY LIFE BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DO THAT.

He’s so completely shocked and awed to see a video with Sir Pentious in it that he doesn’t even remember to write down the URL, which means he will never ever find the video again.

So: Sir Pent is extremely embarrassingly trying to sound Hip & Modern while playing a 22-year-old out-of-date meme song and he’s only got four followers… but like, but like, he KNOWS the Hip & Modern lingo; AND he knows how to make, edit, and upload YouTube videos and curate a YouTube channel; and he knows how to read the comments on his videos, at least minimally engage with viewers, and keep up with who’s following him…

And meanwhile Alastor doesn’t even know the comment section exists.

Sir Pentious only looks behind the times and out of date until he is compared with the alternative.

Luke: say those three words

Deckard: I love you

Luke: I love you, too. But try again

Deckard:

Luke:

Deckard: I will behave

Luke: there we go

The most beautiful art I have ever seen! ❤️❤️❤️

Collection of all of my sapphic couples in traditional costumes around the world sketches (will continue to add more !)

@omnivorousshipper As you can see, pancakes are circular fluffy disks of delicious buttery goodness, not bowls of syrup! 🥞🥞🥞 These pancakes are fit to feed a Hobbs!

Actually im not done thinking about codotverse Riddler's Super 50. Do you know how interesting I think it is that he has and drives around a 1949 Super 50? I think it's so fascinating and intriguing and I'm going to try to put it into words

1949 Buick Super 50s are collectors items right? Buick and other car enthusiasts jump at the bit to get their hands on one, because it was the first time in years that buick had produced a brand new design for their cars, and they only sold it for a year. I consider this design to be very classy, sleek, and very dramatic. All things I would also consider mr riddler.

Now what I find most interesting is that he actually drives it around. I dont know how common it is for collectors to drive their cars about town, I assume common enough because you cant really just let it sit there otherwise it can become damaged, but also you cant really drive them around too much bc theres a higher risk of external damage as well. So probably they just drive it around the block once a month. But I dont think collectors will drive their 1949 super 50 across country. That's FAR too much of a risk to damage. But Riddler did! He drove it all the way to georgia and Minesota! He actually uses it like a car and not like a glass figure. (I assume. granted i dont think there was any reference to him driving the 50 specifically but that is the only car that has ever been mentioned and when he's scolding Query and Echo he refers to them taking care of his car in the singular so I'm assuming thats his only car)

It's like he wants to be seen as classy, and I would say even gentlemanly as shown by him having said car and his 1866 Derringer (things I personally think are classy and gentlemanly), but then breaks and distorts that image by using these items with their original intended use instead of preserving them. It feels like hes intentionally breaking the 'rules'. Probably mostly to show off, but also it makes a statement about his whole mindset of refusing to be controlled and not wanting to be forced into place. So he acts out even in the smallest and most insignificant ways. idk. I lost my train of thought.

Anyway i just think its interesting that he went through all the trouble to get this cool car then kind of break the 'rules' with it.

Hello again Omni! What if Deckard gets pregnant by Hobbs in a one night stand, and now Hobbs decides to stay with Deck and try to make it work. (Bonus if F6 Owen comes to visit, making things a lot more complicated)

Yesss!! I've always wanted to write something like this! I love the idea of them having a one night stand and having to face the consequences afterwards

~~~

Luke had been sent to London to collect information on his newest mission: Owen Shaw

The man was a genius and Luke wanted to be prepared for when he would face the criminal and take him down. But, what Luke wasn't expecting was to meet a charming man while in London

Deckard was everything Luke had ever wanted in a partner: charming, beautiful, caring, but willing to throw a punch if he needed to. He could easily stand up against Luke, never letting anyone step all over

So, it wasn't surprising when they had fallen into bed together. And spent the remainder of Luke's time in London together as well

What Luke wasn't expecting was to get a call from Deckard three months later saying he was pregnant

Luke of course had been shocked and worried about the future. He had already raised Sam with one parent and he didn't want any of his other children to have to go through that

Eventually, he had invited Deckard to live with him and Sam, just to see if they could make their relationship work

Deckard fit into their small family perfectly

He loved Sam, and she loved him but just as fiercely. She couldn't stop thanking Deckard for giving her a little sibling and pestering him to make her something to eat

By the time Deckard was seven months along, Luke had to leave to keep working on his mission with catching Owen Shaw. But, the man had seemed to go underground and making his trail shrivel up

Luke had ended up coming home and spending more time with his family

As Deckard got closer and closer to his due date, he came to Luke

"Is it all right if my little brother stays with us until the delivery?"

Luke had immediately agreed. He didn't see any harm in letting Deckard's family come over and comforting the man

What Luke hadn't been expecting was the person who walked through his door

"Luke! We're back!" Deckard shouted from the front door. Luke didn't hesitate to leave his office and greet his future brother in law

But, when he turned to corner and laid his eyes on Deckard's brother, he stopped short

"Nice to meet you, mate." Owen Shaw smiled at him, arm wrapped around Deckard. Who seemed over the moon for his partner and brother to be meeting for the first time

Luke could only stare, his mind trying to figure out how this ruthless criminal was relate to the sweet man who was carrying his second child

~~~

I hope you enjoyed friend!

Let's talk a bit about Beast. Dazai fixed everything, right? He saved Odasaku. He gave everyone happiness. He saved the others. He even deleted the thing with the Azure King so Kunikida won't be traumatized anymore. He even made Mori not a pedophile!

But what about Chuuya? I've read the manga 2 times and watched the movie 3 times. But I can't see what he did to give Chuuya a happy ending. In the movie he even made it worse!

He didn't stop the Sheep from betraying him, he didn't stop Chuuya from joining the Mafia. He didn't even make him taller!

But what if Dazai did give Chuuya some happiness in Beast? What if he made sure some certain friends of his don't die? What if he saved the Flags too? If Odasaku can be saved then so can the Flags, right?

Maybe in Beast they didn't die. They continued living, being Mafia's elite.

Pianoman is an executive now. And after Dazai kills himself he's the one to become the boss. He's just the most fitted for it. He was kinda close to Atushi too, trying to help him when Atsushi was feeling down.

Lippmann is still enjoying his acting career, while negotiating for the Mafia. He's the one Dazai sends to negotiations when he knows the ADA will be involved. Ranpo is very found of him, being one of the few people Ranpo considers smart. He can't wait to become an executive. He still asks Chuuya from time to time to drop the mafioso career to join him on the set. He's close to Gin, since both of them are often around Dazai. He thinks she's very intelligent and nice. And he doesn't know who her brother is, but he thinks Akutagawa is stupid for abandoning her.

Albatross is still the annoying upstairs neighbor to Chuuya and his drinking buddy and best friend. He can't take Chuuya on spontaneous adventures anymore, but that won't stop him from showing up at Chuuya's office from time to time to "kidnap" him and take him drinking. He's also close to Atsushi. After all, he had to drive him around a lot since not any driver can take the Withe Reaper to his destination. He knows what Atsushi's going through and he invites him drinking sometimes, telling him he has friends. That there's someone that's there for him, not just Dazai's missions.

Doc is leading the underground doctors and he's a bit disappointed that Mori is no longer the Boss. Every single time Atsushi gets knocked out and his ability doesn't work/takes longer to heal he ends up on Doc's table. Just like Yosano, he finds his ability very interesting. He's fascinated by how Byakko is negates wounds. Doesn't heal them, it negates them.

Iceman's Mafia's best hit man. He's trained Kyouka (Verlaine didn't happen 😊) and he knows how much she hates the Mafia. He's not very good with people, but he's trying his best to help her feel better. He also trained Tachihara, who reminds him of Chuuya for some reason.

And Chuuya has his friends. He knows he can relay on them anytime. He knows they're safe. And he can't explain how, but he knows he's lost them before. So he's happy they're there for him. They all hang out often. He sometimes complains to them about Dazai and his stupid schemes. Sometimes they just fool around. Sometimes Atsushi and Gin join them and have fun together.

And when Dazai dies, Atsushi and Kyouka leave and Gin disappears, Chuuya still has the Flags. They make sure Atsushi and Kyouka are good at the Orphanage, checking up on them and even visiting sometimes. They're worried for Gin, but they know she's capable of taking care of herself.

They hang out less now that Pinaoman is the Boss, but now Albatross can take Chuuya on crazy adventures again. And Lippmann is trying more than ever to make Chuuya become an actor or a photo model.

https://twitter.com/straydawgz__/status/1771938948450746683/mediaViewer?currentTweet=1771938948450746683&currentTweetUser=straydawgz__