Bdubss Hermit A Day May Day 7!!

CODE RED OR SHOULD I SAY YELLOW AND GREEN

So far, enjoying whitepine a lot. I love the general atmosphere and the comforting awkwardness of it all.

Ivy- I mean Ivory design cuz why not

tumblr is full of phrases that we are all so desensitized to that they're just normal, but if you say it to a person in real life its so funny to them its a one-hit insta kill

I often analyze the Life Series through a lens of personal agency because I think it's a broadly applicable theme and it's also a theme that matters to me personally, so it's always stuck with me, maybe more than a lot of the fandom, how little agency Grian had in Third Life.

Scar and Grian's deal was in of itself was wildly unhealthy for Grian, I think. Obviously Scar didn't go out of his way try to make things hard for Grian, in fact, a lot of the things Grian did for him because of their deal were things Grian decided himself were his responsibility. But unconditional servitude is a very limiting and possibly even dehumanizing thing to agree to, and it clearly got to Grian. He frequently spoke about being unhappy, about wanting to leave, about how much he hated having to do what Scar says. And while some of that was for show, I also think there was a lot of very real regret over being caged, over giving away so much personal agency in a moment of guilt and obligation.

The first real choice Grian made was to stay with Scar, despite whatever resentment he'd built earlier, despite how much part of him wanted to leave.

This was punished quickly when Scar betrayed him, and possibly in the worst way possible. He tossed out a piece of paper, said whoever catches it lives. Grian couldn't catch it before Bdubs did, Grian couldn't convince his one ally not to help stab him to death, Grian couldn't fight back when it was two against one. He was helpless, in many ways in that moment. Nothing he did meant anything, nothing he did could have stopped it, Grian's first act of personal agency after so long being caged was to choose to stay with Scar, and Scar stabbed him for it while Grian tried (and failed, because nothing he did would have stopped it) to convince him not to.

Scar tried to make up for it (well, depending on whether you view scar's "you may slay me" as genuine or strategy) in a way I think is pretty meaningful all things considered. Scar kneeled, and he gave Grian the power to do what he would, let Grian choose. Which is possibly the best thing Scar could have done, when I see Grian feeling robbed of personal agency as such a big Thing in his Third Life pov.

But it didn't matter in the end. The spectators wanted a fight, and for one reason or another, Grian felt bound to their wishes. Maybe he would have wanted to kill Scar, or maybe he would have wanted to go home together and keep living, or maybe he would have wanted a fight if he could have chosen it. But Grian couldn't, he didn't have a choice. Grian was forced to kill Scar, and then he threw himself off the cliff, because there was no other option, nothing else to do.

I just feel like Grian is robbed of agency at so many turns in Third Life in a way we don't think about all that much.

Yhs grian as haruhi fujioka

He's adorable

So we've all heard of angsty anti-watcher grian right? But..but! What about chaos gremlin pro-watcher grian. Where instead of the trauma breaking him, ut ends up manifesting in a pure-devastating hatred for the world and he ends up rising the ranks in the watcher realm being dubbed Chaos Lord Xelqua, inevitably being a fucking God in the human realm, even being worshipped by many. And instead of being forced into the death games that is the life series, it's just a little mortal torture activity he thought of out of pure boredom and utter disregard for human emotion. And imagine that the death games had been going on centuries before grian even joined, having not just the current members but also other mortals he deems interesting and possibly entertaining and only joining in Third Life where he meets scar and gets attached to him. And he hates it.

An immortal God that can overpower all mortals–stuck in the dark for all of his life–meets an annoying ray of sunshine that's able to overcome the shadows he's engulfed in. He hated it. He hated him as he is the only being that can bring him warmth. And that's the problem. Scar is a human. And a human life is fleeting. Scar is a mortal. Not even a God can change that fact.

In the life series, the players are to die permanently after the three lives are over and are to be replaced by new ones, essentially making it a hardcore series. But in Grian’s desperation, he made it so that their souls are preserved in the system as to not kill them permanently.

His dismissive attitude of scar is a cause of his frustration at not being able to keep him alive and partly blaming him for making him feel the way he does.

Add the fact that there are others as well. In limited life, he got attached to the bad boys and want to keep them alive as well and one thing led to another and he is attached to all of them.

In the original life games, the winner is to be set free and able to live their life. So in this version he makes it so every single one of them is able to win in hopes that they all are able to be set free and escape.

Yuhzz

going from watching the life series from joel's perspective to grian's is actually such whiplash.

joel's videos are a comedy or, at the very most, a tragic comedy. his traps all suck, he's already on red, he's so in love with his wife and is in a homoerotic relationship with his teammates. he jumps three blocks to injure himself because it'll hurt grian too and he's just that petty. he shoehorns in bucket clutches and speed bridging any second he gets. his pvp skills are unmatched but every conversation he holds has a 70% chance of being the awkwardest thing you've heard all day.

and then you get to grian and it's a genuine tragedy where there is no escape from the narrative. grian is constantly counting his time, his hearts, his lives. he is maximizing every second he has, strategizing every little thing to try to win despite his first victory being so bitter. he has the highest kill count and everyone he swears to protect dies. he is desperate to latch onto the next person so he is anything but alone but his status as game master isolates him from everybody anyway. it only gets worse as the seasons continue.

This is one of many things I will be cooking. Here is my rough draft of a timeline

Grain in his semi watcher form

Is it safe to say I am obsessed with him and the life series?

I absolutely adore his lore