Crochet Technoblade I Made Which May Or May Not Be Inspired By The Lyrics Of Until I End Up Dead By Dream

Frame 48

Shamelessly plugging this work again because it makes me cackle when I reread it lolololol

Kaladin colored + shaded sketch page for @/theknightartorias

With the Dark Royal SBI thing, it reminded me of the practice of Noble Hostages. Like, as part of a peace treaty, a member of the losing side's royal family has to stay at the Winning side's Court. Not necessarily as family, but the hostages are treated well as long as their home doesn't start shit. I think this might just be a fantasy fiction/webcomic trope, but oh well, still fun.

So, imagine. Emperor Phil soundly defeats some dinky little country and negotiates their surrender. They have to send one of the Princes/Princesses as a hostage.

Well, they aren't going to send the Crown Prince, that's a given. Too important, that's the future of the country (which they stubbornly believe will someday escape Emperor Phil's grasp). And the younger princes/princess are too young.

So Techno gets sent. Technically second in line for the Dinky Country's throne, but no one really paid much attention to him politically. He's quiet, doing his own thing without bothering others. His older brother is always busy with learning all the crown prince things. His younger siblings are cute, but they are small. So so small. His parents are busy running a country, a country that just lost a WAR. He's not interested in politics or power, so the nobility ignore him. No interest in the throne, just wants to read, and ride horses, and study swordplay.

Maybe he's a little lonely, but he isn't completely alone at home.

He had friends at his home: his teachers, the librarian, the sous-chef who made the best potato dishes. At Emperor Phil's Court, he has no one. And while he is NOT a people person, it's still very nervewracking to be completely alone.

Especially scary because everyone at Emperor Phil's court is trying to get the guy's favor. Dude has destroyed a lot of countries. And a lot of countries want a little more power under his rule.

Technically speaking, Technoblade should be trying to do that. That's what his parents encouraged. But it's just-he can't. He's just a little guy who likes books, horses, and swords. He doesn't DO politics and making alliances. And he feels guilty about not doing more, but he is well aware that he can make things SO MUCH WORSE for his people if he fucks it up. And the pressure is too much so he just- does what he normally does.

He reads, he practices swordplay, he visits the stables.

Or he tries to.

The moment he sets foot in the palace, Prince Wilbur latches on and seemingly never lets go. When Technoblade is in the library, suddenly Wilbur is there. When he is sparring, Wilbur is on the sidelines glaring when his partner gets a little too rough. And Wilbur tells Technoblade all the horses very odd names.

He thinks that Wilbur looks sort of familiar? Like a kid he had played with at a foreign event before the war? That had been fun. It was a very nice memory. But that kid had been FURIOUS when Technoblade's parents had called him back. That kid had been WRATHFUL when Technoblade's parents had looked down on the kid. And Technoblade can't imagine Wilbur, always smiling looking like he had been given a gift Wilbur, ever having such a furious expression. Can't be the same kid.

Because Techno is always dragged beside Wilbur, he inevitably sees a lot of Phil and Tommy. Phil is kind, which is shocking because of his reputation. And Tommy is a menace, which is unshocking because he's, like, 5.

And like, Techno starts to just always be around them. They go out of their way to include him. And the first time he accidentally fell asleep on Wilbur's bed, Wilbur never lets him sleep anywhere else.

And it all goes to shit when Technoblade's dad dies.

He gets the news and he is upset, obviously. Wilbur seems pretty unbothered by it, but Technoblade assumes that that is normal. Its not like it was Wilbur's Dad that died. Whatsmore, Technoblade wants to go to the funeral. His family is begging him to come home for the funeral, if not also the coronation.

Wilbur is coldly against it, and won't listen to Technoblade’s begging. When Technoblade threatens to run away if he has to, Wilbur is furious and rushes off to grab Phil.

Phil enters and sees an incredibly upset Technoblade and an angry Wilbur and reaches a compromise.

It wouldn't be odd for the whole imperial family to go to the funeral. And while the invitation had really only been meant for Technoblade, Phil was sure they wouldn't be stupid enough to refuse.

Technoblade is so very grateful. And all of them go to the funeral. And Technoblade arrives back home to a... colder welcome than he had anticipated.

Like, no one would really look him in the eye. They didn't seem MAD, more guilty than anything. Sad, but not really about the dead kind. Which is confusing. When his Mother sees him, she grabs him into a hug and sobs, no thoughts on decorum. Technoblade has no clue what is happening. His older brother seems even more guilty, sneaking glances at the Emperor.

The funeral is a sad, and very confusing event.

A week after the funeral, Technoblade's home country declares war.

Which, as a political hostage, Technoblade's life is forfeit. He should be executed for his family's treason.

He's locked into his room for a day, a week, a month. Food is brought to him but not seeing a single person.

Well, besides the imperial family. They reassure him that they are doing everything they can, tons of really boring paperwork, Wilbur practically constricting him with how tight he holds.

And then something changes. Wilbur rushes in the door, early in the morning when Technoblade was still asleep and urges Techno to get dressed. Techno does, and Wilbur tows him along, a massive amount of guards around them that no one will explain, and then they get to the courtyard and Technoblade stops breathing at seeing an executioner on a scaffold.

But Wilbur isn't pulling Technoblade that way, he pulls him to where Tommy and Phil are seated comfortably. A raised box with a cloth overhang. Wilbur pushes Technoblade into his seat and Phil pats Technoblade's head fondly. Technoblade's confusion turns quickly to horror.

He sees his mother. His older brother. And a large group of nobility led through the courtyard in chains and burlap. Technoblade pleads with Phil to stop, begs for their lives. But Phil ignores him.

When his pleas turn to threats, Phil holds him too close, too tightly, and claims that Technoblade belonged to them now. That it was official. According to Imperial Law, Technoblade was now a part of the Imperial Family.

And as Technoblade watches his family die, his new family grips him all the tighter.

I was going to make some joke about wanting to read this full fic ASAP but honestly the ask is so detailed and good it feels like I already read a whole fic (wouldn't complain about more though)

*crown emoji*

Techno fanart!!!! Yippeeee!!!!! :D

where are they going !! what will they do !!!!

Watercolor Technoblade

Would you like an AU in this trying time?

Honestly, I can't remember if I sent you this one before because it is an older one from my brain, but I woke up with it on the mind. Rotating in my brain.

Anyway, another Dark Vampire AU for you.

Humans are, in a word, extinct. Not that they aren't around, but they don't exist outside captivity anymore.

When technology advanced and cloning became easy and cheap, Vampires no longer saw any reason to hunt and capture their food. Instead, they captured and controlled the whole world, putting humans in their rightful place as domestic food or tamed pets.

Cloning added in a new fun activity for vampires: Design Lines. Human beings genetically designed to taste delicious and to have easy to manage temperaments. A cross between Designer Dogs and GMO foods. Genetic control for the benefit of Vampire Kind.

There is a whole industry for design lines. The high end lines are seen as a way to flaunt one's wealth. Covens brag over what kind of humans they have in their possession like a rich person would talk about rare vintages of wine. Design Lines are ABSOLUTELY a status symbol.

Not all lines are Design Lines. Not all Vampires are rich or powerful, but they still need to eat. There are fodder lines that just get sold for cheap, just so Vampires can eat. Usually, these fodder lines are just Design Lines that were considered failures. Something went wrong in the genetics that made them imperfect. Imperfections are noticed when the human is pretty young, so they immediately go on discount and are bought by less affluent vamps.

However, it's a pretty big rule that Vampires don't bite human kids. It's not a law, but it's considered pretty taboo and Vamps would look down their nose at that. Kids don't have much blood. A vampire could ruin them before they grow. It would be a WASTE.

So, nobody realized how DELICIOUS the Blade line was until they grew much older.

The Blade line was a “failed” designer line. They came out with Pink hair, which was strange but could be waved off. The bigger issue was the temperament.

The Blade line was downright aggressive!

Why were the human kids so angry at being contained? Why didn't they act all docile and sweet? It's soooo weird. No one would want to purchase such an unruly human. So, the Blade line was sold off for pennies while they were still kids, the research for the line was scrapped, and the company responsible for creating them moved on to different projects.

Only for years later to find out that the Blade line had THE MOST DELICIOUS blood.

It becomes a collectors nightmare as suddenly all of these big name covens want to get their hands on one of the Blade line. It was a test line of only about 100 humans. Quite a few are already dead, drained by stupid or starving vampires. Some were killed just because they really are stubborn as hell and Vampires don't always have patience for that in their food. Many covens don't want to part with their sudden status symbols. Others are more than happy to win favor and trade one of the kids to a more powerful coven. It becomes a bit of a craze to try and get a Blade line. The company that created them tries to recreate them, but it never seems to work well.

It's a bit of a mess. A new item went viral and now no one can purchase it sort of mess.

Technoblade was purchased by a mid-grade Vampire coven when he was a kid. The Vampires in the coven aren't starving but they certainly aren't anyone powerful. They tended to buy fodder lines for food, but that was out of practicality and frugality, not desperation. They didn't needlessly throw away food, either. Only when it got too old to be of use anymore.

Technoblade had never been bitten. He was approaching the age that it would be acceptable and he saw the looks that the Vampires gave him, but he was also given a wary look. He HAD broken one of the Coven's nose when he swung a iron pipe at its face during an escape attempt.

He had been punished for that.

Anyways, the coven's wariness means that he is never bitten before the coven finds out what a TREASURE he is. How much he is worth. The coven argues on what to do with him. Keep him for themselves? Sell him for more wealth? It's debated hotly with the coven.

In the end, the decision is made for them when one of them accidentally offends the Antarctic Coven.

The Antarctic Coven demands recompense and the coven that owns Techno is frantic. So they do the only thing they can think of.

They offer their Blade Line human to repay.

That MIGHT have been completely planned by the Antarctic, but who could say?

So, this coven drags Technoblade along with his AKC paperwork to the Antarctic Coven, who act so very surprised to get a Blade Line human. Such a shock. But of COURSE they could forgive random coven, they have given them such a great gift.

Technoblade is less than enthused. Sure, the rooms are nicer and the clothes are fancier, but Techno is still not happy to be stuck in the home of leeches.

Anytime they try to so much as touch him, he tenses and tries to punch (or bite) them. Very feral kitten coded. Technoblade reacts with anger whenever Phil or Wilbur or Tommy coo over him. Over his hair. Over his eyes. It pisses him off even more when they seem to enjoy his scathing insults or glares.

Those ARE all trademarks of what he is, after all.

They DO have to confirm if he is ACTUALLY a Blade. Papers can be falsified, after all. And he COULD be from one of the failed recreations.

Of course, the easiest test for that is blood. To compare his blood to the records or the Blade line. Technoblade is VIOLENTLY opposed to getting blood drawn, even if it isn't through a bite. He's held down by Tommy and Phil while an expert carefully draws blood to be tested. Not only tested for legitimacy, but also for health, individual genetic anomalies, but they also rank it's flavor against the others in the Blade line. Just because you might as well be competitive about that.

Techno ranks in the top five on that. Wilbur laughs that his temper must be why.

Technoblade throws a vase at his face.

But he…doesn't get punished for that.

Some Vampire covens break the spirit out of their food/pets/humans. The Antarctic Coven doesn't care for that mindset. It's boring. It's weak to have to beat a human into submission.

They prefer a softer route.

It's so easy to make a human feel safe. It's so easy to give them softness and be rewarded with gratitude. They are well practiced in gently guiding a human to accept the collar they weld around their throats. The Antarctic Coven has done it time and time again.

They don’t bite a human until they are allowed. Until the human agrees. And, usually, that's pretty easy to do.

Except Technoblade is SO. Fucking. Stubborn.

He WON'T agree!

So they keep trying, using the ante. Upping the gifts and the seeming kindness. Giving him a soft room(only one door to leave), a beautiful window view (iron bars to prevent him leaving) and anything he could ask for(within reason). So why isn't he baring his neck for them????

And in that confusion, they have to ACTUALLY see Technoblade as a person. It's been CENTURIES since they have seen humans as people. Like, sure, they were human once, but they don't remember it. But they start treating Techno as a person and not a pet and things…shift.

They bond. They genuinely see Techno and they love what they've found.

Technoblade starts to enjoy them, as well. Their requests to drink become an inside joke between them, Techno giving colorful refusals.

Of course, eventually there would be a moment where Techno feels like they were just manipulating his emotions. Maybe he overhears another Vampire complimenting them on their methods, throwing them all back to square one.

Technoblade is angry and hurt and glares at them with hatred. He wants nothing from them. They can just take his blood and leave him alone. Stop with the games. Just bite him and take away the illusion that they actually care.

The Antarctic Coven looks between each other and agrees. They decide to bite Techno. Technoblade is in emotional agony and doesn't really notice how much the initial bites hurt. Especially with how euphoric it becomes as the venom numbs. Technoblade's head swims. And swims. Until he falls unconscious.

The Antarctic Coven decided that Technoblade wouldn't be food. He would become one of them. Changed. The only time they bit him as a human was to make him into one of them.

Technoblade sleeps for a decade, the change very very slow. And there are quite a few people who think that the Antarctic Coven have lost their minds. They gave up a priceless treasure. But The Antarctic Coven sees that Vampirekind lost something when they ruined Humanity. Like, they had truly destroyed Humanity. The concept of Humanity. And the vain and bored Vampires couldn't even see it.

Technoblade is going to be angry when he wakes, but that value that about him, not as a pet but as himself.

Lenn, words can't express how obsessed I've been with this one lately, I've been on a vampire AUs and bloodbag AUs kick lately the concept is so good and can be done in so many ways ranging from hurt/comfort to dark to fluffy and this one is just -ferally tears up the couch cushions-