My Perfect Thick Idiot Son, Calvin, Who Has Never Done Anything Wrong In His Entire Life Except Today

My Perfect Thick Idiot Son, Calvin, Who Has Never Done Anything Wrong In His Entire Life Except Today

My perfect thick idiot son, Calvin, who has never done anything wrong in his entire life except today when I let him climb my young redbud tree and he went to the highest branch and wedged himself in the crook of it and wouldn't budge and he's so big I was afraid that he might break the branch so I had to get a stepladder and get him down while the neighborhood jays that come by for peanuts whenever they see me in the yard freaked out and sat screaming on the fence to warn me that there's a snake very near me because I'm obviously too stupid to see it and clearly in mortal peril.

More Posts from Manyteethwitch and Others

1 month ago

Baby bird season is incoming and I’d like to remind everyone that birds do not have a significant sense of smell. Bird parents will not reject birdlets because you have handled them.

If you see smol birbs with few or no feathers on the ground, you can safely put them back into their nest, bird parents will still care for them.

If you see smol birbs with some or most feathers on the ground, please leave them there, as bird parents are probably nearby watching and feeding.


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2 months ago

10/10 Creature

The Oceanarium got some new beasts and this is our New Biggest Moon Snail. Her name is Green Bean Casserole

The Oceanarium Got Some New Beasts And This Is Our New Biggest Moon Snail. Her Name Is Green Bean Casserole

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2 months ago

somehow I forget how good water is every single day. like, all day long I'm grumpy and only drinking a glass or two and then in the evening I "rediscover" it and every time I wonder how I forgot about this heavenly juice. again. like every day.


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1 month ago

just hanging out


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2 months ago

lovely creatures

manyteethwitch - gimme your face-rocks

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2 months ago
Digital illustration of a crow holding an asexual pride flag in its beak.

Happy International Asexuality Day!!! πŸ–€πŸ©ΆπŸ€πŸ’œ


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2 months ago

do not the dog

manyteethwitch - gimme your face-rocks
1 month ago

β€œX bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy I hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood).


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1 month ago

They have come to an agreement

manyteethwitch - gimme your face-rocks

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1 month ago

commas are important

do you have a sword I can fall on


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manyteethwitch - gimme your face-rocks
gimme your face-rocks

what.

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