Vincent Van Gogh Tree Trunks In The Grass 1890

COMMISSIONS OPEN ❗

these days when you close your eyes, what else do you want but to be loved in a warm and permanent way. the open soft hand, the lowered voice, the blanket around your shoulders. you want to be loved like hot chocolate, like spring flowers, like dawn. you want to go to sleep protected and wake up fully rested. you want the wounds in you to matter, you want someone who is patient around your scars.

how greedy. these days when you look around, how many little ways are you assaulted by the notion that it's wrong to need others. individualism! capitalism! bootstraps! every time you try to language it, you need to cover up your desire into a carefully-worded soundbite: of course no single person can fulfill every need and we must invest in communities and i must be responsible for my own mental health and

but the yawning in you doesn't understand logic or sound or reason. it only sees sundays, only sees what you do-not-have, only sees the look others share and that you so desire. sick with dread at it, sick at how it makes you want, how you yearn in no direction.

no matter how many people you take with you to bed, no matter how many hands touch the tattoo you share with your sibling, no matter how many times you kneel with your knees bleeding. always, the ache that never stops chewing, the desperate sick loneliness that never quite abates. it never stops humming, i need i need i need. you burn your inner child for warmth and scatter the ashes into your morning coffee.

so you shut up and you load your life like shotgun shells and you try to make yourself whole in the way that others are whole. you let your father's words spill out of your mouth. you make a quick joke rather than tear your heart open. you sing into the mic and go home with stars in your eyes. your life is beautiful and you're lucky! you have everything a person can need!

but it would be nice, is the thing. to have a love that feels like peace.

Starbust

🔪 L'entrée 🥄

personal stuff made recently 🌼

Snoot ✨🐶

this is an older doodle revamped a bit. long-ish backstory below lol

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when i first made this, it was during academic season & i was grinding my art portfolio to apply for art school. every single day id just wake up, draw for hours straight, sleep and that was my whole month.

i completely ditched revising exams for this lol. i truly do love art a lot, it's the only thing i've ever been able to be relatively consistent with my whole life. so while i can't say i hated it, i really doubted myself if this was something i wanted to be pursuing for real.

for months on end, everything i drew had to have a 'purpose'—for school, work, an assigned project. nothing really for me. and while i didn't really mind, i slowly forgot why i ever started this in the first place.

it wasn't until, flipping back in old sketchbooks to hunt for more sketches to use, i encountered my old oc sketches, character designs, little doodles... and i remembered; i do this because i truly do love creating. even if it sucks sometimes, grinding for endless hours, stuck in front of the easel cramped in my doorway bc we have no other space lol, i'd still choose to do this, because it makes me happy.

i'm glad i can draw what i want now, even if for a little bit. i'm creating because i want to again :)

Forest babies✨

If you see any MF that complain that art isnt accessible then drag that B right up here to me to see my MSPaint + KRITA artworks that I made with a MOUSE!