I Love You, Man. I Love You, Too.

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History exams in 2080 be like:

What happened in November 5th, 2020?

A) Nevada, Georgia and Pennsylvania went blue

B) Destiel became canon

C) Putin resigned

D) Sherlock announced season 5

E) Johnny Depp is leaving the Harry Potter franchise

F) All of the above

repeat after me: i am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

sorry if you’re finding out like this [updated version]

Cause of death: this shot of Oscar Isaac Hernandez Estrada

i was in the grocery store and saw an onion on the ground and picked it up, absently saying “poor little guy.” behind me a teenage girl started laughing and then stopped and went “aww. i’m sorry for laughing. that’s nice actually.” and the cycle of cruelty is broken for another generation as a young person realizes that it is not embarrassing to have empathy for another thing that was once living, because certainly to be a lone white onion rolling on the ground in a supermarket would be terrifying to anyone