Monster Boyfriends Who Fall Way Harder And Deeper Than The Darling Who Fell First. The Vows In Human

100%. This scene only seems funny, but it's actually heart-wrenching. Madara did his best

thinking about this anime-only scene and how despite its silliness, it perfectly illustrates the dynamic between madara, hashirama and the village.

when the both of them see the child fall, madara is the one to rush over. not that hashirama doesn’t care, but he simply isn’t immediately spurred into action to help like madara is. it’s a reminder that madara is fundamentally kind and caring, he has good intentions! yet the girl in question isn’t put at ease by him at all. taking into account how she seems too young to have encountered madara in the warring states era, her reasons to distrust him aren’t tied to any personal hurt; she judges based on appearances, and madara’s doesn’t seem to evoke anything good. the situation has only escalated, the girl now scared and crying, until hashirama appears and immediately calms the girl down, due to his natural charisma (in the scene before this one, we see how the entire village happily and respectfully greets hashirama as he passes by, with someone even handing him that flower as a gift). it’s only after hashirama has shown up that the girl thanks madara too, and the issue finally resolves itself.

this pretty much represents the whole of the village. madara isn’t really trusted by anyone there, and mostly seems to be given a pass only because hashirama covers for him. despite madara’s own efforts to grow and become a kind and worthy leader to the village, he remains very dependent on hashirama’s charisma and reputation to even be given the time of day. so then of course, once hashirama’s efforts to defend madara begin to wane as he starts to side with the village too, it’s only natural that everything comes crashing down.

I know we all compare Alucard to a cat (rightfully so, the resemblance is uncanny) but have yall ever had a dachshund? Those adorable little shits are so clingy to the point where they want to crawl into your skin (and even that probably wouldn’t combat their clinginess)

I've never owned a dachshund

However

That sounds exactly like Alucard so

Hellsing au where everything is the same except Baskerville is a dachshund

A Night for Hunting

On AO3

To me, Alucard is a yandere no matter how you cut it. He's sweeter after the relationship is more established. This short piece was inspired by EwNasty (BogDing)’s “Monster in the Basement” on AO3. The fanfic was such a hot masterpiece I couldn't help but fantasize more about Alu, even when I hadn’t started Hellsing yet and only read some headcanons. Just finished watching Hellsing Ultimate. Hopefully my characterization of Alucard, who is still new to me, is adequate.

You were only a regular woman trying to make ends meet. Never would you have dreamed you would catch a king's attention. Or unwillingly become part of his hunt.

(Alucard is an eldritch terror having a good time).

The story of a vampire's seduction of a woman, and a king turning from unwanted stalker to lover.

Tags/warnings: Alucard (Ultimate) x Fem!Reader, predator/prey, hunting, fear play, dacryphilia, slight mind reading and control, bondage (?), noncon but no smut. Alucard is an eldritch terror having a good time. He doesn’t really hurt her.

Words: 1891

It was happening again. How? Tonight you chose an alternate path, one with more life. But as you walked, the night streets that were lively not long ago seemed to quiet into nothingness. The remaining strangers who littered the area slowly scattered. It must be your imagination, but the shadows appeared to lengthen around you as well.

The screech of a colony of bats broke the peace, the sudden flurry of wings startling you as the small creatures fluttered across the starry sky from up high. Then all was quiet once more. You pulled your sweater closer to yourself and sped up, unnerved by the sudden eeriness of your path that was familiar and welcome by day. It wasn't the autumn chill that made your hairs stand on end. No, this cold was something else.

As you passed storefront after storefront, each of them now closed, you cursed your boss for coercing you into staying late for your shift again. Your eyes shot around anxiously, trying to find any other phenomena that were out of place. The chairs to several restaurant patios were neatly stacked on their tables. Several locked garbage containers were set out for collection tomorrow morning. Everything looked as it should. A gentle breeze rustled your sweater and carried the lingering smells of street foods. It prickled your skin and blew strands of your bangs across your eyes as you tucked them back. Maybe the strange atmosphere was only your mind playing tricks? You have been exhausted lately.

The streetlamps flickered. Branches snapped.

It was almost imperceptible and at first you didn’t see it, but as you walked briskly onwards, you noticed a light fog spreading lazily across the area. The hazy whiteness grew thicker and misted your vision, making distance hard to differentiate. Even the breeze stilled. The tranquil silence was deafening. You could feel the steady thuds of your blood rushing in your temples as your strides lengthened further to carry you home sooner.

Your unease carried your flight. You sped through the winding path home, making a left, then a right after the stop sign. J-walked to bypass the next set of traffic lights ahead. A laugh sounded from behind and you spun. A stalker? Leading a suspicious stranger home was too dangerous, but there were no public spaces available at this hour to take refuge. You wished you had your pepper spray! Your eyes focused on the fog. Visibility wasn’t nil. There was no one else but you.

Heart pounding in your chest, your quick walk became jogging. The laugh came again, but this time it echoed around you. Something grabbed your side and you screamed as you whirled with your hands slapping, only to be greeted by emptiness. Spooked, your instinct was to flee. You started running.

You weren't sure how far you got, but your breaths left you in heaving pants when you finally stopped. Uncertain of where you were because you missed your usual turns to get home, you glanced around for clues. Something large rubbed heavily against your backside, like it was nuzzling its entire body against you to mark you. But nothing was present this time either when you whizzed your head around. Then you saw it.

In the murky darkness, there was an off-tone blackness darker than its surroundings forming mere feet behind you. A huge inky shadow solidified and rose from the ground, stirring the white fog. You didn’t look closely enough to elucidate the details, but you'd seen enough. It looked like some sort of canine, a head rearing from a pool of shadow lined with red. Rows of teeth gleamed through a sinister smirk. You turned and bolted with a breathless shout.

Quiet, little one. A rich, amused voice whispered into your head.

A weight hit you and knocked you to the ground, ripping your delicate skin against the rugged pavement. Ignoring the pain, you yelped and scrambled to get up before dashing blindly away again. The laughter this time was more akin to a cackle, ravenous and touched by madness.

Yes, RUN! The gleeful voice sounded again.

The ground turned black. Eyes opened along your path, thousands of them, red irises tracking you as you ran desperately until your lungs burned. This, this was new. This never happened before!

“WHAT WAS THIS?!” You thought in panic.

Your wide eyes couldn’t avert themselves from the morbid sight as your legs carried you frantically, your lips fell open to scream, but you couldn’t. No voice came.

You were no longer aware of where you were as the surroundings blazed by in a blur. You could only run and run and run until your legs gave out and exhaustion took you, even if the shadows still followed. The eyes moved with you, mocking your futile attempts to escape.

Sprawled on the ground, your body was wracked with shaking as you heaved greedily to fill your aching chest with air. Your legs felt like lead. Warm blood trickled from your wounds which you weren’t cognizant of earlier.

The shadows surrounded you. It crawled up your body, those wretched unblinking eyes that spectated this chase finally catching up to you. The thousands of eyes curled up in mirth at your anguish. You stared back helplessly, beyond terror and screaming, and tried to scoot back, to push the shadows off, to do anything to get whatever it was away from you.

The darkness had mass. It settled on top of you, pushing your back to the cold ground, flowing over your form until you were completely immobile despite your hopeless struggles to free yourself. It rippled as if it enjoyed your fight.

“I am going to die,” you thought feebly. The weight of the shadows was overwhelming. You whined in pain piteously and immediately, the pressure diminished. The shadow shifted again, its shape transforming. Humans, such fragile and weak creatures. The voice tsk’ed?

Locking eyes with the now-humanoid figure above you, time froze. You found in the thing's eyes timelessness, an age-old elegance that only grew wiser with the passage of eras. This was an ancient and crafty creature, its eyes glowing with an unworldly orangey-red that was enchantingly beautiful, you recognized distantly. It was making sounds that could only be described as contented exhalations.

“It was you. All this time, it was you haunting me." You couldn’t look away from that face. It was much too gorgeous to be human, even if it took the skin of a man. 

It purred. "Yes it was me."

Your eyes widened, not expecting such sounds to come from this creature that caged you against the ground. The sensual voice was liquid sin to your ears when you heard it out loud at last, and the deep purrs rumbled heavily against your chest.

“You can't be real. THIS can't be real." You whispered, closing your eyes, childishly willing everything away, to be nothing more than a horrifying dream that couldn't harm you. Have you lost your mind at last? Gone senile with paranoid hallucinations? Surely you've been stressed, but you didn't think you were so far gone for your mind to create this scene. Perhaps you needed to be on medications.

The creature chuckled again, a terrible noise that reveled in your misery. Unknown to you, it heard your thoughts. "You truly don’t think this is real?"

Cool fingers brushed up your thighs and stroked your core, making you recoil from the unwanted touch. Your breasts and buttocks were fondled through your clothes. What?  You braved looking down and your heart stopped. The darkness that blanketed your body retreated, but your wrists and ankles were held down by hands. There were too many hands. Shadowy limbs covered in the same glowing crimson outline roved over your body, pinching and grabbing at whatever piece of you they could find.

A form covered in eyes rose from the muddled shadow over the ground. A hound, it was what chased you. It licked your face.

But he was still there, with all those horrific limbs that glowed with a dark light tethered to his body in impossible ways. The nightmare was reality.

"What are you?" The gritty pavement dug into your back. Tears prickled the corners of your eyes.

His bewitching gaze stared back, thoroughly enjoying your distress and powerlessness beneath him. “Your kind write many stories for me.”

"Incubus?" You sobbed, tears finally breaking free now that there was no longer anywhere to run.

He threw his head back and laughed in a psychotic manner. The mania was such a contradiction compared to his aristocratic appearance. Your eyes peeled back wide and you shuddered. "Do you still think you're dreaming, foolish child?" He hovered close to you, eyes shining with amusement while his mouth opened, revealing two rows of jagged teeth, but that wasn't what caught your attention. Your stare focused on two long, dagger-like fangs.

"NO. You can't be." You shook your head, body quaking as dread filled your very marrow. Tears slipped past your cheeks and the stench of your fear permeated the air. He nuzzled against your throat and scented you, delighting in your terror, a predator toying with his meal.

A wet muscle that was too long lapped at your tears as this creature sniffed at your throat and ran that abominable appendage up your neck. He was savoring each moment of your fear and getting off on it. You could feel a hard length digging into your abdomen as it rocked against you and the purring continued.

In a moment of sheer panic, your hands were free. You raked your nails against his face as your eyes met his, your fear made more potent as you realized you once again lost your voice. No screams fell from your lips, no matter how much you wanted to call for help. You yanked at his hair and pulled his ears, struggling desperately to get free. He smirked at you as your hands mauled him.

“Yes, that’s it. I like it when you fight,” he growled.

Your fingers came back from their assault bloodied, but you still couldn't break free. The creature didn't even notice the damage to his features. The sound of him breathing you in met your ears once more. “You smell divine.” When nothing happened beyond him trapping you and licking, you found your words again.

“Are you going to hurt me?" You whimpered, your expression clenched in fright.

Something changed in his demeanor, like he was displeased with the question. Your eyes opened hesitantly and you couldn’t help but gasp. He was completely uninjured, though the cocky smirk was less pronounced. After a pregnant pause, the arcane, toothy smile returned. His gaze slide back to yours with an unsettling glint in his eyes.

"One day, you will willingly give yourself to me." He announced with confidence and tucked away the extra extremities. His tongue licked down your legs to lave at the cuts to your knees as he purred loudly at you.

You knew a moment of vertigo when it felt like you were picked up and the scenery blurred. When you found your bearings again, you were dizzy outside your condo doors. You were left to yourself, nauseous, your pulse still racing. The vampire was gone. Your skin was unmarred, as if nothing had happened at all.

~To Be Continued~

Madara and Birth Control HC

Birth control is more on you than him. He doesn’t like protection, preferring to go raw dog and feel all the textures of your walls, so condoms are out of the question. I also doubt proper condoms existed in this hot grandpa’s time

Madara likely relies on the (not very fool proof) pullout method. He’s always conflicted because his every instinct is to bury it deep and seed you well, but if he knows you don’t want to be pregnant at this time, he’ll do his best to not make a creampie between your legs

Doesn’t bother with traditional methods of birth control like the rhythm method, aka counting your menstrual cycle to track when you’re fertile. He likes children anyways and wouldn’t mind having some with you. He’s easily aroused, and once he gets going, there’s nothing that’ll stop him

Is open to more modern and reliable methods of BC. Actually he’s super happy if it means you’re more inclined to let him have you his way (read: creampie)

However, I’m convinced not even my method of contraception, an IUD, can fend off Madara’s powerful swimmers. I’m scared for your uterus, if you have one

If despite all your collective attempts at contraception, you still get knocked up, expect Madara to take full responsibility for his actions (horniness). This family man will take excellent care of you, not only when you’re pregnant, but during labour (he wouldn’t miss his baby’s birth for anything) and beyond as well. He’ll be so proud of you and the child, the precious life the two of you created together.

Madara is overprotective. He will be extremely involved in his child’s (and your) life and would provide everything for the two of you. He will be an excellent father

If you weren’t already married, he will try to correct that. How lucky! To be the baby mama and wife (?) to the best baby daddy!

Ahhh, I need to get back into my Hellsing brain so I can start writing again next week! Please send asks. Can be about Sabine, Hans, Barrett or anything to do with my hellsingverse please 🙏

I love these!!! The Uchiha invented romance 😍

some SUPER ROMANTIC cards to send to your significant other 💋💋💖😍🥰 merry valentines day 💓💓💘

It's my birthday

It's my birthday week. A new decade for me! Definitely feels different than when I hit 20. Been celebrating basically the whole week, but if anyone can send me fanart of Madara and/or Alucard (bonus if they're scantily clad), or direct me to short scenes of Alucard or furry/monster slice of life, smut, or fluff, that would make this dirty woman's next week 🙏🏻

A Night for Hunting Ch.10 should be out in the next few days! Got carried away with the celebrations this week! 🥳

This is me.

feeling normal about that old man

Madara SFW Alphabet

Happy Valentine’s Day! Madara doesn’t celebrate! So we bring Valentine’s to him.

Tried to come up with words to some letters that are a bit different. Have fun!

A- Asking you out

He’s quite awkward but acts nonchalant and indifferent. You were possibly unaware he was romantically interested. He knows he isn’t a great flirt, so he hides this by being forward and blunt like he normally is, making a date invitation sound a lot more like an order.

B- Body part (Favourite)

Are not his eyes. While he acknowledges their power and utilizes them to devastating effect, each Sharingan upgrade was derived from significant personal loss. His Sharingan is a reminder of his greatest losses and failures. Even his Rinnegan was only obtained after a lifetime of exceptional bitterness in his heart.

His hands are more favoured. Not only do they get him through regular stuff like the activities of living and taking care of you, they help him carry out many of his amazing feats, like forming hand seals, performing taijutsu, and wielding weapons.

C- Cuddles

He is affectionate in private with you when he no longer has his public image to maintain. He enjoys lengthy, wordless hugs anywhere in the house, as long as it’s with you –by the entrance, lying together on the couch, in the shower. He’s the one who will nuzzle you and hold on for a few more moments when you’re ready to part and do the next thing in your day. Your presence and touch drive his demons away.

D- Dominant MADARA is uber dominant. That’s what the big “D” in his name stands for, aside from the obvious. He likes making the major decisions in the relationship and would be upset if he wasn’t consulted. He is however easygoing on the more trivial choices in daily life and readily goes with whatever you decide. Careful, he will take advantage if you’re too agreeable with him. Don’t be his doormat. Remember, he likes to be challenged so he can prove he’s right.

E- Emotions

Expresses his feelings through physical or practical means. That includes defending you from enemies, acts of service (ensuring your coffee is made the way you like it in the morning, taking care of laundry from time to time so you won’t have to worry about it), sex, and through lingering non-sexual touches. Madara ensures you are clothed, fed, and have a safe place to sleep. You will be provided for and know you’re loved, even if he doesn’t gush about it. Madara isn’t the best with words unless he’s waxing deep philosophy or roasting someone.

F- Fighting with S/O

Madara’s not going to hit you, because let’s be honest. If he were to strike you in an argument, you would likely get seriously injured and/or die. This drama king often practiced conflict resolution through battle and getting himself beaten up (which sometimes he let happen, like with Gai so he could get his adrenaline rush), so he will let you hit him, on the other hand. I don’t advocate abuse from either partner, but Madara would let you hit him if you chose to out of anger until eventually, either he stops you or you run out of steam. At this point, he’ll try to talk things through, even if he is harsh and blunt (with no clue how to make his words sound nicer) and this first attempt may not resolve your differences.

G- Good Morning (how does he wake you up) Usually he gets up early and leaves you sleeping after giving you a kiss. On other days, if neither of you have anywhere to be that morning, he stays in bed with you in his arms until you wake up naturally at an hour when you’ve had enough sleep. After memorizing your waking expressions, he kisses you all over despite your attempts to dodge him because you have morning breath.

H- Hypertension

Something that irritates and gives him a high blood pressure is a messy environment. Madara is an orderly person who probably has OCD. If you’re messy, he will try to rearrange your stuff and teach you about organization, until you can’t find your stuff due to his meddling. Since Madara wants you in his life and you’re not changing your ways, eventually you and him will call a truce in some areas of the home/in life where you get to have your way and he will turn a blind eye.

I- In Labour (and Delivery) He’s a nervous wreck and a bit of a monster, even if it isn’t the first child you’re having. Madara already lost too many people and he’ll be damned if he loses you too. It doesn’t matter to him if childbirth is much safer today than in the past. He yells and glares at all the people trying to help you, feeling helpless because he isn’t useful in a medical setting. This is his way of attempting to exert some control over the situation. He’s a disruptive menace and would have been thrown out long ago if anyone was capable of such a feat. Depending on your demeanor and stage of labour, maybe you snap and demand he leave. Otherwise he will bear your crushing grip on his hands without a single complaint and whisper words of encouragement and love to you throughout the entire course of labour. He’s civil again only after mother and baby are safe. Wait, but then he’ll be in over-protective papa mode. Never mind!

J- Juvenile

Madara is silly when he’s happy, which admittedly isn’t often. A friendly spar gets him going, while challenging him in dumb things (ex: a race, whoever can eat more of something, etc) will bring out his sense of competition and more childish side, provided whoever he is competing with provides some sort of resistance. He loves a good fight, even if it isn’t really a ‘fight.’

K- Kiss

Madara is a passionate deep kisser when given the choice. He prefers taking the time to explore you properly and unwind, which he only does in private. On rare occasions in public, he may pull you aside for a chaste kiss when he’s feeling emotional for you. He’s a visual man and likes to peek at your kissing face.

L- Little ones He loves children despite their fear of him. It’s one of the only times he has any semblance to being soft. Madara would love to have his own children with you. He is also the type to adopt kids and be a mentor to them. He is involved in his children’s lives, ensures they are trained properly, disciplined and is a firm, yet fair father (or father-figure). He will not be as cruel as his own father, not wishing to perpetuate the harsh style of upbringing he endured.

M- Macho

This silly man is a dramatic show-off. At home, he’s casual about his strength, offering to help lift heavy things and open tough objects. Whenever you happen to catch Madara training, he flaunts flamboyantly and needlessly performs much fancier techniques to flex for you when he’s sure you’re watching.

N- No (Deal breaker)

Do not lie or betray him. Madara highly values his bonds. It took so much for him to trust and become open with you. Therefore, he holds you to a certain standard. He expects you to reciprocate and be loyal and honest with him. He will give you the world and all of him in return.

O- Openness (when does he start revealing things about himself?)

Not any time soon. This man is paranoid and only trusts himself and a few of his closest kin. In fact, you should feel honoured if he even deigns you worthy enough to speak more than a few sentences to at a time. Madara telling you the deepest secrets of his heart? You’re more valued than you’d ever understand. Now that you got him to open his mouth, be prepared for an earful and him to not shut up.

P- Protect

Madara is at his heart a protector. Everything he does is about protecting others, even hypothetical future generations (which later morphed into a twisted plan to take responsibility for all humankind and forcing them into a dream world). He loves having people depend on him, which gives him purpose. He is generally peaceful until anything threatens those he swore to protect. He will ruthlessly destroy those things without remorse.

Q- Quizzes (how much does he remember about you?)

Everything, including all the small details about you and even if he’s quiet when you tell him things casually in passing. You’ll be the one to forget anniversaries or that you have an appointment tomorrow where you are supposed to bring extra shoes, not him.

R- Random Headcanon

Madara takes care of stray animals, sometimes bringing them into his home for the ones in direr need in order to feed, medicate, wash, and care for their injuries before releasing them. He’s a kind man at heart and someone has to care for those weak, forgotten beings. His previous rescues occasionally visit him in the garden. He doesn’t let his falcons out when his small animals are visiting.

S- Serious

He is seriously serious about his relationship with you, once he figured out he’s romantically interested, wants to be involved, went through asking you out, and is actively courting you (plus the other steps). He’s extremely committed and will try his best. I’ve mentioned before that once you’re his, he’s also yours. It would take a lot for him to give up on you and your relationship, likely a betrayal of unforgiveable magnitude on your part, which he would never get over.

T- Talent(less)

Madara is talented in almost everything and can learn basically anything he sets his mind to. Possessing the Sharingan is a useful shortcut for those endeavors. But what about the opposite? Madara is a terrible fit in any sort of therapist profession where he has to give advice related to people’s issues. Try picturing him as a psychologist, psychiatrist, or a marriage counsellor.

Madara actually has the perfect tools set up to make him successful in each of those fields –a deep understanding of human nature, excellent analysis and critical thinking skills, heck he can look into his victim’s mind with the Sharingan! He sees the problem very clearly. His issue comes back to his lack of talent in social interactions. His delivery of his diagnosis to patients would be interesting. It's way too blunt, and when coupled with his amazing insults, his patients end up more traumatized and with more problems than they started with. Perhaps his help leads to a divorce.

U- Unrequited Love

I am (very) biased, but how can anyone not love Madara once they get to know him as a person beyond his reputation? He has so many great personality traits once you get over a few of the less positive ones haha.

Unrequited love will be very painful for Madara, even if he’ll be accepting of this. He dwells on his undesirable aspects and why you shouldn’t be together. He holds this pain to himself and lets it fester, but goes on with his life and ambitions, keeping an eye out on you from a distance. No one loves harder than an Uchiha. There will likely never be anyone else who’ll replace your position in his heart even if he wants to forget you.

V- Vulnerability

Madara presents a stoic facade, but he’s truthfully very sensitive and prone to be hurt by the ones he loves most. He remembers all your interactions, even your conversations down to the exact wording. Depending on the conversation and the health of your relationship at the time, he ruminates over your words and may take things out of context. Beyond the tough exterior, there’s that sensitive man who feels excruciatingly deeply. This vulnerability leads to him feeling hurt, even if he doesn’t show it until much later, when his emotions boil over and he pettily throws your past words back at you in spite.

W- Wanderlust

Madara enjoys traveling. He is more open-minded about people from different backgrounds than other shinobi from the Warring States generations. If there was peace and he wasn’t wandering the world as a bitter missing-nin, if he didn’t have the responsibilities as clan leader and was not founding a village, he’d be very interested in experiencing different cultures and customs.

If he could hide his scary aura and murder vibes, he’d appreciate the anonymity of people not knowing who he is and getting to live with some normalcy. If he had his beloved Izuna (somehow) and S/O with him, this would already be picture perfect to Madara.

Y- Yearning (what he does when missing you) When he’s away on missions, he replays his Sharingan memories of you. Some of these were captured during random endearing moments when he was feeling especially soft for you. They keep him warm on his darkest days, reminding him there’s still someone at home waiting for him, someone who needs and loves him for who he is. They give him strength and help him stay sane. He can’t wait to come home to you.

Z- Zzz (sleeping)

Madara doesn’t sleep much. Have you seen his eye bags? When he finally gets some shut-eye, he’s the model shinobi. It’s as light as a cat’s. You can’t sneak up on him. Even if he was sleeping, he wakes and knows when you stir in slumber and when you’re dreaming. It’s almost impossible for him to sleep at all without you.