Dazai: I don't get paid enough to deal with Mori. He describes me as "also gay for girls."
Chuuya: Yuck.
Dazai: What the hell are you doing?
Chuuya, reading Dazai's diary: Sus, be quiet. It's an enemies to lovers very good book.
Dazai: It's not what you think.
Chuuya: Damn, so you're in love with somebody else named Chuuya? What were the odds?!
Chuuya: Shut up!
Dazai: Or what?
Chuuya, thinking what to say that could make Dazai shut up forever:
Chuuya: Or else I'll marry you!
Dazai: *malfunctions*
Dazai: I want my vagina shaved ladies.
Chuuya: Then shave your vagina, Dazai.
Chuuya: Isn't the idea supposed to be "you saved my life, now I owe you a debt?" Dazai: Nope. Other way round. You saved my life, so now I'm your problem. If you don't like it, then kill me. Dazai: God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.
*Dazai and Chuuya get captured and are tied together*
Dazai: Chill out slug. It's not like you've never been tied up before.
Chuuya, talking really fast: Sure. But there weren't involved a psycho and a piece of shit.
Dazai: Am I... Okay, Am I the the psycho or the piece of shit?
Chuuya: Both.
Chuuya, pointing to his leather pants on the bed: Which one of these bottoms would look the best on me?
Kouyou: Well considering none of them are Dazai I would say none.
Chuuya:
Kouyou:
Chuuya, turning all red: The literal fuck?
Chuuya, drunk: I mean Dazai is just an egotistical bitch who only cares about himself.
Kajii: Literally I just said I dont care.
Chuuya: And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was and he'll pretend to care about me and comment on my photos and laugh at my jokes and~
Hirotsu: Oh well, that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit.
Chuuya: Ikr,
Chuuya: he's just a fake privilege asshole.
Dazai: I’m an excellent driver.
Chuuya: You almost ran over a woman by accident.
Dazai, remembering how that woman smiled at Chuuya flirtatious: Ah yes… by accident… yes.
Dazai: You're wearing make-up???
Chuuya: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?
Dazai:
Dazai: No it looks stupid...
*some moments later*
Dazai, sobbing into Odasaku's shoulder: It looked so good!!!
Odasaku: I know.
Dazai: I'm so gay...
Odasaku: *sighs* I know...
Chuuya: What are you doing?
Dazai, eating a cake at 3am in the bath with a knife: My best.