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myths series  ♆  Greek mythology

╙  Hades

Thanatos: Here you are, Lord Hades. A nice hot cup of coffee.

Hades: It's cold.

Thanatos: Nice cup of coffee.

Hades, drinks it: It's not even nice.

Thanatos: Cup of coffee.

Hades: I'm not even sure this is coffee.

Thanatos: Cup.

therapist: and what do we say when someone upsets us?

hades: i’m going to send your soul to the fields of punishment for eternal torture?

therapist: no.

Hades: Persephone kissed me!!

Zeus: [gasp] No!

Poseidon: [squeals] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Hades: It’s unbelievable.

Poseidon: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Zeus: Okay okay, we wanna hear everything. Poseidon, get the wine and unplug the phone. Hades, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Hades: Oh it ends verrry well.

Poseidon: [rushing over with wine glasses] Don’t start without me! Don’t start without me!

Zeus: Alright, let’s hear about this kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y'know, “I gotta have you now” kinda thing?

Hades: Well, at first it was kinda of intense, y'know and then… oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it…

Zeus & Poseidon: [squealing] Awwwwwww!

(Scene changes to Persephone, Artemis, and Hecate casually eating pizza)

Persephone: And uh, and then I kissed him.

Artemis: Tongue?

Persephone: Yeah.

Hecate: Cool.

Pt. 1 of some backgrounds I made! Feel free to use them!

Pt. 2: https://sarahsspirits.tumblr.com/post/171280697707/pt-2-of-the-backgrounds-i-made-enjoy💕—Pt. 3: https://sarahsspirits.tumblr.com/post/171309650392/pt-3-of-the-theoi-backgrounds-thanks-for-the

roger : if the earth is flat, then explain why my life has been going downhill constantly.

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

brian : no that’s not-

Hades: *Accidentally steps on Cerberus's tail*

Cerberus: *Sad puppo yip*

Hades:

Hades: Since we’re going to Alaska for a while, i’ve left all of you a complimentary bowl of advice.

Hades, picking one piece of paper out of the bowl: For instance, “Theo, stop doing that” just applies to everything.

Thanatos fixes the broken copy machine.

Thanatos: There's something I'd like to show you, boss. “Thanatos. crushed. it." It works!

Hades: I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life.

Thanatos: I mean, I've collected a lot of souls for you.

Hades: And yet death has continued.

Them: what are your plans for the future? :)

Me: I am going to have three sons and name them hades, poseidon and zeus, and teach them all about the underworld, sea, and sky respectively then create a time travel machine and send them back to Ancient Greece with iPhones and beats by dre so they confuse everyone