Stop Glamorizing “the Grind” And Start Glamorizing Whatever This Is

I need you guys to listen so bad, but I’m at least glad people on Twitter are starting to talk about this. The government of Canada is expanding Medically Assisted Death to cull the poor and disabled, and now suicidal and mentally ill (these are usually interchangeable of course here). It is EUGENICS and every single disabled rights organization is against it.

Disability payments are $1,200 a month. The average one bedroom apartment rent in the Greater Toronto Area (greatest pop. area by far here) is $2,000 a month. People with mental illnesses are on months long waitlists to get even a single publicly funded session. Weeks to get privately funded care which costs at least $200 a session. There is no housing here for disabled people. We are in one of the worst housing crises in the world right now.

Doctors are now offering MAiD unprompted to young suicidal people. This woman is 21, a health practitioner literally suggested she kill herself.

This is one of the worst Disability Rights Violations we’ve ever seen in Canada. The government is killing us because it is cheaper than funding healthcare, cheaper than giving people housing and food and basic human rights.

My 5th birthday party was circle themed. I had a circle cake, everyone surrounded me in a circle to sing “happy birthday circle.” And I screamed at them if they didn’t listen to me.

Terrifying meltdown occurred over a wiffle ball bat, a piñata, and my grandmother, who wouldn’t stop talking so I could listen for the “whistle” like my dad taught me.

If/when you have children please let them (as soon as they're able) pick the theme of their birthday parties.

The girl who used to do my hair let her toddler pick the theme of her 3rd birthday and she chose Target. Like, the store. So everything was red and white and covered in bullseyes and I'm just so full of joy looking at the pictures on Facebook right now because it is obvious that this little girl is having the time of her life and that her parents put so much love and creativity into making the decorations and cupcakes.

Children will come up with some of the best and most fascinating ideas if you let them.

Rabbit rabbit! Happy month!

10/10

An ADHD Morning

I set seven alarms so I don't oversleep. I couldn't sleep last night because I was researching ancient Rome on Wikipedia until 2am so I am bleary tired. My coffee maker is moldy from last week's brew and I don't even consider cleaning it, I just know that I won't be having coffee this morning.

I forgot to shower the night before, but now I don't have enough time to do it this morning, I got up too late. I use dry shampoo and hope my hair doesn't look greasy (it does). I scrape it into a messy pony tail that will give me a migraine but it's the only way it looks acceptable. I hear my mother's voice in my head "that's how you're wearing your hair today?" My finger nails are stumps of dried blood because I picked at them all night. The inside of my lip is swollen and bleeding because I couldn't stop chewing on it, thinking about how I could ruin today. My eyebrows need to be plucked. My face is covered in acne because I never remember to take my makeup off before I fall asleep.

My bedroom is a sea of clothes, piled high to obscure the wooden floors. One hamper has some clean clothes in it, I know, but I have forgotten which one. My ironing board is under the piles somewhere, but it's broken, so I'll have to try to use the anti-wrinkle spray on the sweater I fish off the floor and hope it looks okay. It's already been forty minutes, how has the time passed this way? I will be late now, no hope of arriving on time. My sweater is covered in cat hair. Where is the lint roller? I look through the piles and can't find it. I spend ten minutes looking for tape to make a make-shift lint roller and it doesn't really work.

My dresser is filled with empty makeup tubes, used makeup wipes, glasses wipes, and used lint roller sheets. I pick out the products I use and quickly do my makeup on my unclean skin.

Purse. I need my purse. Which purse did I use last? Which has my wallet in it? I walk past the piles on the floor of my apartment, past the dirty dishes, past the mound of art supplies on my desk. I find my purse on the floor under my desk. Okay.

Socks? I need socks. My socks might show when I sit down in these too-tight too-short pants. I have to find matching ones. Clean ones? No, that's too much of a reach. I must just find matching ones. I search, digging through the floor piles. I find two that do not match, but are the same color. Good enough.

Fifteen minutes late. My cat chirps as he brushes against my leg. Oh! My little friend! He's so cute and sweet. My sister loves to get pictures of him, so I'll take one for her. Look up here, Blue! So cute. I should really update the instagram I made for him, I've met so many people who have the same type of cat. I should edit some photos of him today to post. He makes me so happy. I feel so lucky I get to have a cat and such a sweet, loving one like Blue. How many people get to have such a great pet? I'm so thankful for him, and I tell him so while I scratch his face the way that makes him purr.

I text my sister the picture. She tells me to have a good day. I try to find a cute GIF to send her to tell her to have a good day too. Here's one with Snoopy. She'll like that.

I also need to feed Blue. There are a dozen empty, smelly cans on the counter of cat food, but I pick a new one out of the box they were shipped in and put it in his dish with a random measuring spoon because all my other silverware is dirty.

Bag. I need to pack a bag. Laptop, keys, tissues, pens, notebook, headphones, charging cable for my phone. Is that everything? And my wallet, of course! Aha. That would be bad if I forgot that.

My shoes are dirty and scuffed but I don't have time to fix them. What kind of coat? I don't check the weather. I pick out a thin yellow one that I like. I've always liked bright colors. This will cheer me up to wear it. Bag, coat, keys, phone...where is my phone?

I have headphones on, listening to a YouTube video on two times speed, but I don't know where my phone is. I don't have time for this! But I can't leave without my phone.

It's deep in the covers of my bed. I don't remember putting it there between sending the GIF to my sister and now, but no matter. I found it.

It's twenty degrees and raining. I have no umbrella and my spring coat is incredibly inappropriate for the weather.

I've left my car on the street for a few days in an area that is only for 3-hour parking. The parking tickets are stacked on the windshield. I owe the city about $400 in parking tickets and I keep getting letters from the police that they'll boot my car if I don't pay. I messed up the days on my budget spreadsheet, so I won't be able to pay them for another month.

I have no gas. I check the miles my car estimates I can go with the amount left and compare it to what my GPS says. Just enough. Maybe. It'll be okay. I can't get gas now.

I forgot to brush my teeth. I forgot my laptop charging cable. I forgot to take my medication, and I forgot to bring my medication with me to take my second dose. When I finally arrive at my destination, I don't remember that my debit card fell between the seat in my car yesterday while getting coffee at the drive-thru. So I leave without it. I also forgot to put deodorant on.

I wonder what my coworkers would think of me if they knew about my messy apartment, my poor hygiene, my lack of planning skills. Will they notice my teeth aren't brushed? Do I have any gum, mints, anything?

My coworker sees me come in late with in an oddly-fitting outfit and messy hair, but I greet them happily when I come in. They say that everyone forgets things sometimes and lends me their laptop charger. I'll forget to return it, but they don't know that yet. They don't know about my kitchen or my bedroom or my clothes or my unwashed face or my parking tickets. They don't know that without my medication I will be useless for the entire day and get nothing done, making more work for them.

I'm an excellent actress. I pretend to be like everyone else, and somehow I pass the test every time. I'm a shy, kind, young woman - they would never suspect there is a moldy box of forgotten take out food in my backseat that I'll discover in a few days. People socialized as female are expected to be neat, organized, in control. They don't even consider that I might not be those things.

"What did you bring for the potluck today?" my coworker asks.

The ingredients I bought for the dish I signed up to make are rotting in my fridge, forgotten as soon as I put them there after shopping two weeks ago. I didn't think to buy them closer to today. I also didn't think to put the pot luck on my calendar.

I make up an elaborate story about how my boyfriend needed to be picked up from a far-away job site last night. She believes me and I feel I don't deserve it.

I wish I wasn't a good actress.

I had apple slices and brie last night for dinner

Hyperfixation Food #48

Apple slices and smoked gouda cheese

US state borders but they are based off rivers and mountains

@todaysbird

Things to think about and ponder

fully personal opinion

see many autistic people online treat someone calling self “high functioning” as a red flag, and some view it more extremely as irredeemable and make immediate assumption about person.

and i don’t… fully agree?

like of course see where they come from. there definitely are autistic people who identify as “high functioning” (high functioning autism, HFA) or “aspie” to separate self from the other autistics because they look down on other autistics. others may even believe HFA is this new evolutionary goal and people with HFA and only high functioning autism is better than everyone else, allistics included. they are yucky.

i carefully curate n select my internet experience because know if get mad, won’t be able to step away. so i don’t see these people much at all online. also because of dominant views in online autism community, these aspie supremacy HFA people don’t really participate in online actually autistic community.

but the reason i say i dont fully agree is because….

for so long me as a higher support needs level 2/3 austistuc and my friends who are similar or have more support needs as me & may be labeled “low functioning”, we been spoken over in online autistic community. dominant view of autism in online actually autistic community say every autistic all the same just mask differently or stuff like that. can look at my other posts for more context.

so, i really do appreciate when… how to say… an autistic respond to my posts say “i’m high functioning and i agree/thank you for bringing light to issue/etc etc.”

like. call themself as “high functioning” to, yes, separate themselves from me, not in the “im better than you i worth more than you”, but in the way of “i acknowledge me being/being seen as high functioning means i have different experiences than you, and on higher support needs/level2 3/low functioning issues i don’t have the lived experience and i need to listen.”

like i fully appreciate the latter, you know?

it’s also okay to say like. “while i don’t identify as high functioning, i do acknowledge i am often seen as high functioning, and that means i get treated better than those called low functioning.”

anticipate some people will say “well there still are better terms out there, like low support needs.” and the thing is, high functioning, levels, and support needs may all be trying to describe similar things, but they don’t neatly translate to each other. they don’t exactly mean same thing. “high functioning” doesn’t necessarily always mean low support needs.

and it not my place to tell other people how to self identify!

also because, i do like functioning labels when voluntarily used as self descriptor.

so, TLDR, i do oppose professionals & other people forcibly labeling autistics with functioning labels, i do hate those aspie supremacist high functioning autistics. but i think there is more nuance (always more nuance) to the “call self high functioning = bad” conversation. sometimes really do appreciate when someone self describe use “high functioning” to note difference in autistic experiences.

idk just personal thoughts. idk make sense.

This guy is really going to regret sitting down with Jon

The Eras Tour Presale 11/15/22 pt 2