We’ve Taught Our Children This And It’s Amazing To Watch Them Grow Into Emotionally Healthy People.

We call this “catatonic” in our household

I’m down for both of these challenges. Except on November 21st. That’s my husband’s birthday. I’ll experience that day.

This month I’ve decided to participate in an event called “October,” where for every day in October I’m going to experience a day in October.

Here’s the prompt list I’m using in case anyone wants to join me in this challenge:

Next month I’m thinking of trying out the “No November November” challenge, where I’ll refrain from experiencing November for the whole month of November.

We’re at the ER for my wife (again for possible seizures) and a new nurse came in. He was wearing a scent or used a strong soap or detergent. My wife asked him to step away as she started coughing and turning red. I tried to explain that any strong scents can trigger anaphylaxis, but he didn’t understand. I just asked for a new nurse for her.

Luckily we aren’t here for a MCAS flare, but it almost turned into one of those visits.

I want/need to cross stitch again. I basically took a break when I moved and was dealing with depression. I did a small project last month ish and realized how much I missed it. But nothing is organized and my ADHD brain is struggling to find where to start. So I continue gathering and making patterns. I’m also behind in schoolwork so it’s like I’m semi punishing myself but not rewarding myself with cross stitch. Logically I know it would help, but depression brain is also weird.

Anyone else deal with things like that?

An ADHD Morning

I set seven alarms so I don't oversleep. I couldn't sleep last night because I was researching ancient Rome on Wikipedia until 2am so I am bleary tired. My coffee maker is moldy from last week's brew and I don't even consider cleaning it, I just know that I won't be having coffee this morning.

I forgot to shower the night before, but now I don't have enough time to do it this morning, I got up too late. I use dry shampoo and hope my hair doesn't look greasy (it does). I scrape it into a messy pony tail that will give me a migraine but it's the only way it looks acceptable. I hear my mother's voice in my head "that's how you're wearing your hair today?" My finger nails are stumps of dried blood because I picked at them all night. The inside of my lip is swollen and bleeding because I couldn't stop chewing on it, thinking about how I could ruin today. My eyebrows need to be plucked. My face is covered in acne because I never remember to take my makeup off before I fall asleep.

My bedroom is a sea of clothes, piled high to obscure the wooden floors. One hamper has some clean clothes in it, I know, but I have forgotten which one. My ironing board is under the piles somewhere, but it's broken, so I'll have to try to use the anti-wrinkle spray on the sweater I fish off the floor and hope it looks okay. It's already been forty minutes, how has the time passed this way? I will be late now, no hope of arriving on time. My sweater is covered in cat hair. Where is the lint roller? I look through the piles and can't find it. I spend ten minutes looking for tape to make a make-shift lint roller and it doesn't really work.

My dresser is filled with empty makeup tubes, used makeup wipes, glasses wipes, and used lint roller sheets. I pick out the products I use and quickly do my makeup on my unclean skin.

Purse. I need my purse. Which purse did I use last? Which has my wallet in it? I walk past the piles on the floor of my apartment, past the dirty dishes, past the mound of art supplies on my desk. I find my purse on the floor under my desk. Okay.

Socks? I need socks. My socks might show when I sit down in these too-tight too-short pants. I have to find matching ones. Clean ones? No, that's too much of a reach. I must just find matching ones. I search, digging through the floor piles. I find two that do not match, but are the same color. Good enough.

Fifteen minutes late. My cat chirps as he brushes against my leg. Oh! My little friend! He's so cute and sweet. My sister loves to get pictures of him, so I'll take one for her. Look up here, Blue! So cute. I should really update the instagram I made for him, I've met so many people who have the same type of cat. I should edit some photos of him today to post. He makes me so happy. I feel so lucky I get to have a cat and such a sweet, loving one like Blue. How many people get to have such a great pet? I'm so thankful for him, and I tell him so while I scratch his face the way that makes him purr.

I text my sister the picture. She tells me to have a good day. I try to find a cute GIF to send her to tell her to have a good day too. Here's one with Snoopy. She'll like that.

I also need to feed Blue. There are a dozen empty, smelly cans on the counter of cat food, but I pick a new one out of the box they were shipped in and put it in his dish with a random measuring spoon because all my other silverware is dirty.

Bag. I need to pack a bag. Laptop, keys, tissues, pens, notebook, headphones, charging cable for my phone. Is that everything? And my wallet, of course! Aha. That would be bad if I forgot that.

My shoes are dirty and scuffed but I don't have time to fix them. What kind of coat? I don't check the weather. I pick out a thin yellow one that I like. I've always liked bright colors. This will cheer me up to wear it. Bag, coat, keys, phone...where is my phone?

I have headphones on, listening to a YouTube video on two times speed, but I don't know where my phone is. I don't have time for this! But I can't leave without my phone.

It's deep in the covers of my bed. I don't remember putting it there between sending the GIF to my sister and now, but no matter. I found it.

It's twenty degrees and raining. I have no umbrella and my spring coat is incredibly inappropriate for the weather.

I've left my car on the street for a few days in an area that is only for 3-hour parking. The parking tickets are stacked on the windshield. I owe the city about $400 in parking tickets and I keep getting letters from the police that they'll boot my car if I don't pay. I messed up the days on my budget spreadsheet, so I won't be able to pay them for another month.

I have no gas. I check the miles my car estimates I can go with the amount left and compare it to what my GPS says. Just enough. Maybe. It'll be okay. I can't get gas now.

I forgot to brush my teeth. I forgot my laptop charging cable. I forgot to take my medication, and I forgot to bring my medication with me to take my second dose. When I finally arrive at my destination, I don't remember that my debit card fell between the seat in my car yesterday while getting coffee at the drive-thru. So I leave without it. I also forgot to put deodorant on.

I wonder what my coworkers would think of me if they knew about my messy apartment, my poor hygiene, my lack of planning skills. Will they notice my teeth aren't brushed? Do I have any gum, mints, anything?

My coworker sees me come in late with in an oddly-fitting outfit and messy hair, but I greet them happily when I come in. They say that everyone forgets things sometimes and lends me their laptop charger. I'll forget to return it, but they don't know that yet. They don't know about my kitchen or my bedroom or my clothes or my unwashed face or my parking tickets. They don't know that without my medication I will be useless for the entire day and get nothing done, making more work for them.

I'm an excellent actress. I pretend to be like everyone else, and somehow I pass the test every time. I'm a shy, kind, young woman - they would never suspect there is a moldy box of forgotten take out food in my backseat that I'll discover in a few days. People socialized as female are expected to be neat, organized, in control. They don't even consider that I might not be those things.

"What did you bring for the potluck today?" my coworker asks.

The ingredients I bought for the dish I signed up to make are rotting in my fridge, forgotten as soon as I put them there after shopping two weeks ago. I didn't think to buy them closer to today. I also didn't think to put the pot luck on my calendar.

I make up an elaborate story about how my boyfriend needed to be picked up from a far-away job site last night. She believes me and I feel I don't deserve it.

I wish I wasn't a good actress.

It’s been a crazy week. My wife has had 3 blood transfusions in the last week, one before surgery, 2 units during her hysterectomy, and one after surgery. She’s still really anemic and her hematocrit is really low still, but she’s home from the hospital.

She and the rest of the family are also getting over RSV. Only 2 of the 7 of us escaped it somehow. Or I had a really mild case right after a cold. Who knows.

I just started back at school and I have a really full semester, taking 14 credits and one class is an honors class. I may regret doing it this way, but I’m excited to finish my degree finally. It took 19 years, with a huge gap between, but I’ll finally have my associates. I’m still unsure about going for my bachelors and trying to figure out what I’d want to major in. That is too overwhelming right now.

So things seem to be looking up for us, once everyone gets over RSV. Fingers crossed my wife’s disability gets approved and my husband gets over his writer’s block. I think addressing his mental health would help, but he’s the type to ignore things until the last minute. We’ll get there.

the maple leafs injured both of the hurricanes goalies so they put their fucking zamboni driver in the net LMAO

Tell me representaron doesn’t matter

Source ~ TikTok @/thewokemama

This has made my heart so so so damn warm. 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

If being too giving is wrong, I don’t want to be right. I currently don’t have enough money to give to all the causes I care about. Included in my “When we have more money” list is so many causes and people I want to help. It’s also why I want to help people in my future work. I’m a helper because someone has to be. My mom taught me that the meaning to life was to love, and that includes those less fortunate.

one thing I've noticed with being autistic is my innate sense of justice

people tend to be so passive to awful injustices and say "well it is what it is"

but I can never see it that way

how can people be so dismissive of other human beings and their lives? how can we reach equality when every person has such a selfish point of view?

it's really horrifying, and yet we're considered the ones with no empathy