This Is Absolutely Brilliant! Worth The Read. I Want To See This Put To Music And Dance Now.

Most wholesome thing I’ve seen today

Source

This is one of the better descriptions of what I see.

I hate having aphantasia. It's total bullshit, give me access to the internal images so I can draw better.

this is gonna sound like a shitpost but the best advice i have if youre consistently coming off wrong is to start talking like an elcor

you will feel like a dumdum at first, but once you get used to it youll realize that telling people what kind of thing you're about to say ahead of time flattens their anxiety a huge amount

ive been starting every question with "question:" for awhile now and i almost never get people reading too much into what i mean anymore

it seems super dumb, but "what are your plans tomorrow?" gets people asking me what i have planned despite me obviously being in the process of figuring that out, whereas "question: what are your plans tomorrow?" gets me a quick rundown of their schedule, followed by "why?"

it also makes it really easy to work tone indicators into your verbal speech. if you're always saying "question: [your question here]?" then no one blinks when you say "genuine question: [question that could read as sarcastic]?"

it also gets you out of your own way for any types of things you struggle to say. "can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" feels like an argument waiting to happen, but "request: can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" gets the words flowing on a neutral word while making it clear that you're not looking for a fight

so yeah. suggestion: talk like an elcor

They came over to get her vitals updated. The tech/nurse said she wasn’t having seizures because she’s conscious through them. But he’s “not a doctor.” Never mind that her neurologist thinks they could be. If someone can’t diagnose legally, they really shouldn’t be telling a patient and family that they aren’t experiencing something they could easily be experiencing.

Sigh.

Wife and I are at the ER. She’s been having what her neurologist (our neurologist? We see the same guy) think are seizures. She’s been having small tremors off and on since February. We think it was caused by Paxil, which she rapid detoxed from under medical care a few months ago.

Today the whole body tremors/shaking are constant. With all her medical issues, I try to stay positive and strong. We do it for each other.

Hubby is at home getting cleaning done for the plumbing. It’s just another day in our life. It’s weird.

Yesterday I was supposed to meet with my case manager, since we’ve never met. I had the address and even confirmed in the morning it wasn’t a Telehealth visit, like the additiona automated call I received the day before said it was. I arrived early and waited in the office. And waited. And waited.

Then I received a message from my wife saying that the case manager was at our house. She never said it was in home. I couldn’t handle anything else after that call.

I cried so much. I never ended up meeting her because I was 25 minutes away from home.

We will eventually reschedule.

Why is life so challenging?

It’s been a crazy week. My wife has had 3 blood transfusions in the last week, one before surgery, 2 units during her hysterectomy, and one after surgery. She’s still really anemic and her hematocrit is really low still, but she’s home from the hospital.

She and the rest of the family are also getting over RSV. Only 2 of the 7 of us escaped it somehow. Or I had a really mild case right after a cold. Who knows.

I just started back at school and I have a really full semester, taking 14 credits and one class is an honors class. I may regret doing it this way, but I’m excited to finish my degree finally. It took 19 years, with a huge gap between, but I’ll finally have my associates. I’m still unsure about going for my bachelors and trying to figure out what I’d want to major in. That is too overwhelming right now.

So things seem to be looking up for us, once everyone gets over RSV. Fingers crossed my wife’s disability gets approved and my husband gets over his writer’s block. I think addressing his mental health would help, but he’s the type to ignore things until the last minute. We’ll get there.

Sings I’m struggling:

My body feels heavy & tired

I find it hard to respond to messages

I feel like nothing I do is good enough

I can't motivate myself

I can't stop myself scrolling through social media

I have panic attacks

I spend more time by myself

Little things get to me

I find it hard to get up & ready in the mornings

My usual coping mechanisms don't help very much

I can't focus or still my thoughts

Things become disorganised & untidy

I doubt myself

Source

Mental Health

Always reblog

So there's only one channel in this motel,

This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street.

They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh.

Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel, “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”

Who in the HELL GAYED UP MY CHECK MARKS??????