The Big Two ❤️❤️❤️

"average darkner gets divorced 3 times a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average darkner gets 0 divorces per year. Divorces G. Spamton, who lives in a dumpster & gets divorced over 10,000 times each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

ANDREA BOCELLI AND JANNIK SINNER EXCUSE ME WHAT

men will rather play 6 hours of the best tennis you’ve ever seen instead of having gay sex

Unfortunately plagued by thoughts of them being bitterly divorced

(Ignore that I didn’t realize I forgot spamton’s teeth for 4 days)

top 10 lines that make me want to bang my head against the wall

this is the sincaraz thesis btw. if you even care

Two stars collaborating. Circa 1997

commentators saying piatti tells the story of how jannik cried at 17 after losing against carlos. and now he’s 23 and crying because of him again. this is AWFUL.

bruised jannikblrs i am so sorry, like genuinely i know it sucks. i am especially sorry because i'm about to start talking about #dynamics which the bruises might not appreciate. sorry. stop reading now if you have to. sorry!!!!

not even using love here in the rpf sense—

i love you and because i love you i'm going to destroy you, it's the thing i love about you that inspires me to destroy you. like what the fuck man lmao no wonder jannik is like, get me out of the #sincaraz narrative. if carlos wasn't so convinced he was special then maybe carlos wouldn't keep fucking doing this! but he is and he will. what DOES it feel like to be a capricious demigod's object of desire. not sure i'd want to find out!

Spain's Carlos Alcaraz hugs Italy's Jannik Sinner after winning the final match of the French Tennis Open at the Roland-Garros in Paris, Sunday, June 8, 2025. @ Alain Jocard / AFP @ Aurelien Morissard / AP Photo edited by me

they are making me listen to brockhampton again

how tall is Tenna?! here's a rough estimate 📺👀

so we haven't had any official confirmation of Tenna's ridiculous height yet, and i haven't been able to yank sprites from the game... however. there's a handy little Deltarune height chart made by an anonymous user some time ago, which gives a rough indication of the height of each character:

crucially, we see Kris' height is 5'1.5": this is great for us, because we see Kris next to Tenna frequently!!

if we round down Kris' height to 5", we see that Tenna is approximately three Krises tall without his antennae, and nearly four Krises with them!!

that means Tenna is at least 15 feet tall, but if you count the antennae, his whole height is closer to 19 feet.

good grief 😳