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Things The Avengers Are NOT Allowed To Do - part one

a/n: hey guys!! my best friend (@hazydespair / @pitifulbaby and I have teamed up together to bring you Things The Avengers Are Not Allowed To Do. We write these for our own entertainment and hope that you find some hilarity in them, too. Please follow Hazy’s account, as the second part will be published on her Tumblr! Thanks everyone! Enjoy!

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The Avengers Initiative states,

Upon becoming an Avenger, each party shall read over these guidelines and sign their name, stating that they hereby agree to the terms and conditions of the DO NOT's of being an Avenger. Shall a party break any of these rules, punishment is certain.

1. Bucky and Sam are not allowed to bully Peter while on missions, any other time is free game

2. No calling Bruce Shrek

3. No calling Loki Elsa

4. Scott and Phil are not allowed to sit and gush over Steve Rogers

5. Tony isn’t allowed to draw fake mustaches on Fury's photos

6. You can’t send T’Challa cat toys

7. Don’t ask Fury how many fingers you are putting up

8. Thor isn’t allowed to put his hammer in front of anyone's door

9. No cosplaying each other

10. Thor isn’t allowed to put his hammer in the elevator

11. No using Steves shield as a turtle shell

12. No putting Bucky and Sam in the get along shirt

13. Don’t ask Bucky for a hand

14. Helping Steve cross the road is not helping the elderly

15. Don’t ask Thor how high he can count

16. Don’t steal Peter’s lunch money

17. Don’t let Bucky use Steve's shield as a sled

18. Bucky and Bruce aren’t allowed to listen to heavy metal

19. No telling Thor that Jane dumped him, it makes him ‘salty’

20. Please don’t show up at Peter Parker's place of work or school

21. Don’t call Natasha momma spider and Peter baby spider

22. No more calling Tony, Tony Stank

23. Scott isn’t allowed to have insect fights with Peter

24. No asking Vision how his vision is

25. Stop asking Nick what is in his wallet

26. Don’t put a metal detector against Bucky's arm

27. Sam and Clint aren’t allowed to make bird noises at each other

28. Please stop putting googly eyes on pictures of Nick Fury

29. Please don’t take Thor to Halloween horror nights

30. Tony isn’t allowed to move the furniture slightly to the left so Pietro will run into it

LINK TO PART TWO -> Things The Avengers Are NOT Allowed To Do pt. 2

Scenery - The Great Gatsby (2013)

collection of favourite tweets from my country collapsing

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i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do