SMITTEN

Buck likes the weather in LA.

Endless summers, mild winter months; what’s not to love? Sometimes he misses snow, or the way the air feels on a truly crisp autumn morning, but all in all he prefers warmth and sunshine.

But summer is only fun until a heat wave makes the city feel like everybody’s trapped under a glass dome and slowly going insane. 

Buck needs to get some sleep before his next shift, but the blackout curtains in Tommy’s bedroom don’t do much against the suffocating heat. The whole house feels like an oven at this point, and the best he managed so far was a short fifteen minute nap.

With a sigh he flops over and snuggles closer to Tommy, who immediately pushes him away.

“Too hot,” Tommy grumbles next to him in the dark.

“You’re too hot,” Buck counters. “I'm a cuddler; you didn’t have a problem with it until now.”

“It wasn’t 99 degrees until now. Just stay on your side of the bed, please.”

Buck tries to find a comfortable sleeping position and closes his eyes. It is too hot, and yet he almost itches to feel Tommy’s skin under his hands.

~

When Buck wakes up again it’s barely ten minutes later, at least according to the alarm clock on the nightstand. Maybe it’s broken? He watches the bright green numbers change and silently counts along until the clock hits a new minute. Alright, so the clock isn’t the problem. 

Buck shifts onto his back, his skin prickling with sweat in the humid air. He’d love to get up and stand in front of the open freezer for a while, but he wouldn’t do that to Tommy’s energy bill. 

“We could go to the loft to sleep,” he suggests instead.

There's no immediate reply, and for a moment he wonders if Tommy actually managed to fall asleep.

But finally Tommy says: “You have high ceilings, huge windows and a tiny AC unit. I don’t think we need to drive all the way to the loft to check if it’s less hot over there.”

Buck pouts a little bit, even if Tommy can’t see it. “I rent my place. What's your excuse for not having better air conditioning?”

“It worked fine last summer. And I don't usually have a 220 pound guy trying to sleep on top of me during a heat wave.”

Tommy’s voice is light and teasing, but Buck can hear the truth underneath the words nonetheless. Neither of them is very comfortable in their own skin right now, and if Buck was a simple hook-up or a short-term boyfriend, Tommy wouldn’t want him in his bed right now Not after a long shift, and certainly not in this heat.

But here they are. The knowledge warms Buck in a very different way than the summer heat.

~

“Sex usually helps me fall asleep,” Buck points out after he catches himself staring at the alarm clock again. He’s pretty sure the glowing numbers are mocking him.

Tommy chuckles. “Subtle. Very subtle.”

“It’s science. Do you need me to find you an article about brain chemistry and happy hormones?”

“No, thank you,” Tommy replies drily. “You know what else is science? We’ll sweat even more. The sheets will be disgusting, and we’ll have to get up and remake the bed, and by the time we’re done, all the ‘happy hormones’ will be gone.”

Buck sighs and snuffles closer to the middle of the bed so he can press his face against Tommy’s shoulder at least. “No snuggling, no sex, no science, no sweat… Do you hate everything that starts with the letter S now?” 

“You’re ridiculous.” Somehow Tommy makes the words sound warm and fond.

Neither of them is any closer to falling asleep.

~

“Did you know the phrase ‘sweating like a pig’ is nonsense?” Buck asks. “Pigs don't sweat at all.”

“Lucky pigs,” Tommy replies and lets out a long yawn.

“They cool down by taking mud baths.”

Tommy nudges Buck’s calf with his foot. “If you rip out my basil to roll around in wet dirt you're sleeping on the porch.”

“At least I’d be sleeping. Totally worth it.”

For a moment both of them stay quiet, just resting next to each other until Tommy breaks the silence: “I guess we could just turn the basil into pesto.” 

~

“I can't sleep when you're all the way over there,” Buck admits very quietly, just in case Tommy is finally asleep.

But Tommy laughs, low and soft. “How do you sleep when I'm not around?”

“Badly.” 

It’s not even a joke; Buck really likes sharing a bed with Tommy. Even now, despite being hot and uncomfortable, he wants to be closer, put his head on Tommy’s chest and let the sound of his heartbeat lull him to sleep.

“I sleep better with you too,” Tommy tells him. After a brief pause he adds: “When we’re actually sleeping.”

“We should do more of that,” Buck decides.

“What? Sleeping?”

Buck hums in confirmation. “Sleeping together.”

“Yeah, I’d like —” Tommy pauses mid-sentence when Buck plasters himself against his side. “Evan, we’ll stick together.”

“Sleep,” Buck mumbles.

Tommy sighs, but he pulls Buck firmly against him. “What am I going to do with you?”

~

The next time Buck wakes up when his alarm buzzes. Tommy is fast asleep, curled around his back.

“What if - what if I tell him I love him, but it’s too soon and scares him off?” 

Buck was getting more emotional as the conversation went on. He had come to dispatch hoping for advice from Maddie, and he doesn’t really know what he wants or needs to hear. 

“Buck, I think -”

“Buck?” Josh peeked into the break room, a confused smile on his face. “What are you doing here?”

“I uh - I was asking Maddie about - well -”

“He’s in love,” Maddie said for him. Traitor.

Josh’s face lit up. “Ooh, is this the hot pilot? I can see why.”

“But I - it’s,” Buck stuttered, “it’s too soon, though, right?”

Eyebrows creasing, Josh asked, “How long have you been together?”

“Only seven months.”

“Only seven months?” Josh’s eyebrows shot up. Maddie elbowed him in the side. “Right, sorry, um. Well, do you feel it?”

“Feel - what?” Buck asked, looking frantically from Josh to Maddie and back.

“Like you’re in love, Evan,” Maddie said.

“Oh! Well, yeah. I - I’ve been in love before. It’s never really felt like this, but I know it’s love.” When Maddie and Josh shared a look, Buck asked, “What? What was that?”

A gentle smile spread across Josh’s face. “You should tell him.”

“But what if it’s too early? What if I scare him? I always move too fast and jump into things before thinking them through. I don’t want to screw this up.”

“Evan,” Maddie said, coming around the counter to lay a comforting hand on his arm, “that you’re even worried it’s too soon is a good sign that you’ve thought this through.”

Josh nodded in agreement. “And you’re serious about him. Anyone with eyes can see that.”

Releasing a shaky breath, Buck asked quietly, “What if he doesn’t say it back? He doesn’t have to, of course, but - but what do I do if he doesn’t?”

“You reassure him that he doesn’t need to say anything. You just want him to know how you feel,” Josh said, sharing another look with Maddie. “But I don’t think you need to worry about that.”

“What? Why?”

Maddie softly squeezed his arm. “Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

Buck couldn’t help but think of the way Tommy had looked at him just that morning, lying next to him, the soft morning light catching the blue of his eyes just right. He huffed a quiet laugh.

“Maybe you’re right.” He swallowed roughly, made his decision, and said, “There’s only one way to find out.”

"I just have SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THOMAS KINARD!!!" -@waywaychuck, x

One minute I was reading The Carrot's The Weight of Us, next minute I was downloading photoshop and learning how to make gifs. This just didn't leave my mind till I made it.

Sorry it took a while, I needed to wrestle with photoshop for a bit first. 🫣

I also made a version with Sal that's on the way.

Make It Ours

aka the one where Tommy asks Buck to move in

It started a little ridiculously. Buck didn't usually decorate his place for Halloween, but in his excitement over Bobby being back he'd gotten way too much for the firehouse and had a lot left over. So he took some paper bats home and hung them from his ceiling.

That should have been the end of it.

“We've got enough candy for a small army, I'm sure,” Buck said, resting his head on Tommy's chest, a hand softly rubbing over his pec.

“We don't really have any kids that come out to Harbor. A few of the kids whose parents are on shift will stop by, but that's about it.”

“Were you a Halloween fan growing up?” Buck asked, chills running up his spine as Tommy's fingers massaged his scalp.

“Oh yeah. We didn't really have the money to afford costumes, but I'd make stuff from old sheets or clothes that didn't fit me anymore. There was one year where-” Tommy stopped suddenly, and Buck looked up at him to see him staring out over the loft. “Are your bats animatronic?” he asked.

Buck's eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

Tommy nodded his head in their direction. “They're moving.”

“Oh,” Buck glanced back briefly. “Probably the air coming on. Makes them swing sometimes.”

Tommy halfway settled back into the bed, but it didn't last very long, because soon enough one of those “decorations” started flying directly into the bedroom. Then there was another, and another.

“Evan, you have bats!” Tommy exclaimed.

“I- oh my God, I have bats!”

Ironically, Tommy did not love all things that flew. Buck had known this since they went to the zoo two months into their relationship and ventured into the butterfly exhibit. That's when he saw Tommy dripping with sweat, barely taking a breath and clutching Buck's hand until he asked what was wrong.

And now, watching a 6'2 man made mostly out of muscle race to put on a shirt and shorts, foregoing underwear completely, so he could duck out of the loft with a yelp was truly fascinating.

The fact that he only stopped briefly to give Buck a kiss and tell him to grab his things and meet him at his place was the icing on the cake.

That man was inside me twenty minutes ago, Buck thought, a baby bat swooping above him. He felt nothing but pride.

Within an hour, he was bringing a suitcase and work duffel into Tommy's place. Tommy, on his part, had emptied him two extra drawers to go along with the one he already had there. He'd made space for him in the bathroom as well, and cleared a section of the kitchen counter because, “I figured you'd bring some of your cooking stuff with you.”

He wasn't wrong.

It took a few weeks for the bat issue to be resolved, due to the fact that Buck's landlord was out of town and no one else seemed to know what to do.

Once the place had been cleared of the bats, it took extra time for Buck to be able to air out his place and clean the droppings that had been so graciously left behind.

It didn't help that he had a pretty busy schedule, taking extra shifts before he knew he'd have a bat problem.

Eventually, Buck ran out of reasons to keep himself at Tommy's place.

One morning, as he got ready for his 24 and Tommy got ready for his 48, he decided it was time. “I think my place is now free and clear of everything the bats left behind,” he said, pouring coffee into Tommy's travel mug, then swapping it out for his own. “I'll be able to pick up all my stuff after my shift and get out of your hair.”

“Hm," Tommy hummed. "You should just move in here." It was so nonchalant it sounded the same as when he ordered his usual from the taco bar down the street.

Buck froze mid pour. “I- I should what?”

“Move in with me,” he repeated with a shrug, “if you want.” He walked over to Buck and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Think about it, Babe. I gotta go. Love you.”

“Yeah, I- I... I love you too.”

Tommy grabbed his mug off the counter and headed out the door, leaving Buck feeling like a deer in headlights.

Part of him wanted to chase Tommy out the door and ask, “How dare you ask so casually?!” The other part was eternally grateful Tommy exited briskly and gave him time to think it over.

Because, wasn't it too soon? He'd only ever done this moving in together thing one other time, and that wasn't exactly for a good reason.

They'd only said I love you for the last couple months. The words still sounded new, still made his heart swell every time they came out of Tommy's mouth. Still blushed when he said it back.

And did Tommy actually mean it? He did have a dry sense of humor that was sometimes easy to miss. Maybe this was one of those times. It was just a joke and he was meant to brush it off with a laugh.

He wasn't sure how long he actually stood there with a half filled mug of coffee in front of him, but eventually his phone dinged and pulled him out of his thoughts.

Stop panicking. Yes, I meant it. Seriously, just think about it.

Buck rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the smile that rose on his face.

Hate you. Be safe.

He only had to wait a few seconds for a reply.

Love you too. You be safer.

*****

“I'm kind of freaking out,” Buck said as Maddie grabbed her lunch from the fridge.

“Why are you freaking out?”

“Tommy asked me to move in with him.”

She paused briefly, eyebrows going up as she stood at the counter. “Really?”

“Yeah, yeah. Wh- Why really? You think it's too soon, don't you? It's too soon. That's what I thought when he asked, well suggested is more like it. He suggested I move in, and then told me to think about it, and then he left for work and then I left for work. And he told me not to panic and that he actually meant it, but-”

“Buck, I didn't mean anything by my really,” she interrupted, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “Honestly, I figured that was gonna happen once you stayed with him during the whole bat thing.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised. “I- I mean, you did?”

“You already spend more time at his place than your own. The bats were taken care of, what, almost a week ago?”

“Yeah.”

“And how many nights have you stayed at your place since then?”

“Well... Well, I had to work a couple of those days,” he tried to reason, “and then it made more sense to go to his place because we wanted to see each other but we were both tired from work.”

“You don't have to explain yourself, Buck,” she assured him. “I'm only saying it's not actually all that surprising.”

When Buck didn't look any more relieved than when he'd come into the call center, Maddie continued, “Have you made a pro/con list?”

He pulled a piece of paper from his back pocket and laid it on the countertop for Maddie to take. “Of course I did.”

She picked it up and read it over. “Great butt is number three? Did not need to know that.”

“It- It's a very detailed list,” he replied seriously.

“I can see that,” she agreed. “Although I can't help but notice there are no actual cons on this list.” She slid the paper back to him.

“That's why I'm freaking out.”

“Is this a bi crisis?” Josh asked, walking into the break room. “Because, if so, I feel like I should be involved. Also, I've been listening and I have something to say. May I?”

Buck nodded his head, resting his hands on the countertop. “Please. I- I could use all the help I can get.”

“Great. First of all, why are you trying to talk yourself out of it?”

“Because... Because, seven months ago I didn't even know I was bi, and then there was Tommy. And it's been great. He's funny, and kind, and he listens, and he's so hot-"

"Okay," Maddie waved for him to move on.

"Even when we argued, you know, we stuck around and worked it out. It's the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. It's the happiest relationship I've ever been in.”

“God, this sounds awful,” Josh deadpanned.

“Yeah, listen, Buck, if you don't want him I'll take him,” Maddie added with a smile. “I don't think Howie would mind.”

Buck grinned. “I'm just saying, it all seems so fast. I keep trying to think of reasons to say no, or wait a few more months, but I- I can't.”

“Okay, maybe you can't think of a reason to say no, because there's no good reason to say no,” Josh replied. “How's it been staying with him while the bats took over your place?”

“It's... It's been great. I thought there would be a big adjustment, but there really wasn't. He hasn't seemed bothered by my stuff being there, and it's been nice having someone to, ya know, come home to,” he added, a blush rising on his cheeks.

“Have you had any of the big conversations yet?” Maddie asked. “You know, kids, marriage, stuff like that?”

“Mhm. We agree on everything.”

Josh glanced at Maddie before replying. “I really don't see the problem here, Buck.”

“You don't think it's too soon?”

“I think,” Josh sighed. “I think life is really short, which you probably know better than anybody. And if Tommy makes you as happy as it sounds like he does, then you're the only one stopping you from that happiness.”

Buck rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a deep breath. “Sometimes, I still feel like a fraud,” he admitted. “Like it all came too easy. You know, I- I've heard how rough it was for Tommy to come out and all the crap he went through for years. I figure out I like guys and get a boyfriend in the same day, six months later he's asking me to move in and I can picture my entire life with him.”

“I think that's your brain messing with you,” Josh said. “Because to me, it sounds like you've had thirty-three years of searching for something that feels real, and good, and settled. And you've found it with Tommy.”

Maddie nodded. “I agree. He's good to you, Evan. Everyone can see you two love each other. I can honestly say I've never seen you happier or more sure of yourself. You don't need to doubt that. You need to let yourself have a win.”

A smile started to grow on Buck's face. He was pretty sure he'd already made up his mind, but there was still one thing that worried him. “What if it doesn't work out?”

“Then you do the opposite of what you're about to do,” Josh answered simply, “and you move back out.”

*****

Tommy already knew Buck was at his place before he got inside. The giant Jeep in his driveway was always a dead giveaway.

Half of him expected Buck's things to be neatly packed up by the door, ready to move back into his loft until his lease was officially up.

The other half expected him to be sitting on the couch with a downcast look on his face that said I'm not ready to move in with you without having to actually say it.

What he didn't expect was the door to swing back on him due to it slamming into boxes.

Once he managed to hold the door open and scoot inside, he looked around at well over twenty boxes that were littered around the entryway of his place, leading into the living room.

“Evan?” he called out, a smile already on his face.

“Here!” he exclaimed, exiting Tommy's bedroom and hurrying down the hall. “Here, I'm here! So-” Buck paused briefly to give Tommy a peck on the lips, then continued through the maze of boxes as he headed for the kitchen, Tommy following behind. “This isn't everything, obviously, but I don't actually think I'll be bringing all that much from my place. The bats pooped on a lot. Like, a whole lot. Plus, I like your furniture. The kitchen will have to have some new appliances, but I already ordered what the bats, you know, pooped on. You need to let me know what appliances have a family history for you- if that's a thing- before I throw them out. Some of this stuff is, well, it's terrible. Why don't you sharpen your knives, Tommy? Mind blowing. I know the boxes are kinda a mess, but I didn't want to unpack without you because that feels like me just taking over, ya know, and I don't wanna-”

Buck was stopped by Tommy grabbing hold of his hand and pulling him in close. He wrapped his arms around Buck's waist, and Buck's arms rested over Tommy's shoulders.

“I'm guessing this is a yes to moving in?” Tommy asked, nose scrunching up in a smile.

Buck let out a deep breath, grinning back. “Yes. It- It's a yes.”

“You didn't freak out too much?”

“I didn't freak out at all,” Buck protested weakly.

“Evan.”

“Okay, I freaked out a little,” he replied, ducking his head, “but not for the reasons you think.”

Tommy tilted Buck's chin so their eyes met. “What reasons?”

“I... The fact there wasn't a reason to say no. I- I freaked because it felt like it should feel too soon, but it didn't. It doesn't. It feels right.”

That's when Tommy leaned in for a kiss far less chaste than the one Buck had given him when he opened the door.

“Do we have to start unpacking tonight?” Tommy asked when they parted, resting their foreheads against one another.

Buck shook his head. He brought his hands to the nape of Tommy's neck and drew him in again, his tongue parting Tommy's lips. Clumsily, they began making their way toward their bedroom without letting one another go.

“Maybe we could work on christening the place then?” Tommy suggested, his nose brushing up against Buck's cheek. “For good luck or whatever.”

“Mmm,” Buck moaned, grabbing at the hem of Tommy's shirt and pulling it over his head quickly, tossing it on top of a box. “You have the best ideas, roomie.”

Tommy snorted at that, his head tossing back in laughter. “God, I love you.”

Somehow, they managed to make it to the bedroom, and Buck gently pushed Tommy down before crawling over him, leaning down to whisper against his lips, “I love you too.”

Have I mentioned I miss them 👬🚒🧯🚁

Me cause there is no new episode this week 😢

7.04 "Buck Bothered And Bewildered" | 7.06 "There Goes the Groom"

8x05 sneak peek! link

💖💖💖