🤣🤣☠☠☠☠☠

Every Black girl is so pretty

*reblog if you agree*

I FORGOT TBH

Are y’all still sleeping on this?

Things you shouldn’t say to someone who identifies as pansexual:

“haha so you’re attracted to pans?" 

"wow thats a bit greedy”

“so basically you’re just bisexual then”

“haha you must like sex a lot!!!”

“but you’re with [someone of opposite gender] so you’re basically straight”

“but you’re with [someone of same gender] so you’re basically gay”

Murdoc with a teenage daughter?

- murdoc is honestly much more protective than if he had a teenage son. constantly on the look out of older men who will take advantage of her (lol), teaches her the basics of kicking ass, loves her to death but tries not to be over bearing. but it’s murdoc, so he is.

- his favorite part by FAR is teaching her how to drive and doing donuts with her in a parking lot until they get kicked out. he reluctantly teaches her how to drive in the stylo car, enjoying her reaction to finally being able to drive the car he spent years driving in with her, but he is also. so. anxious. donuts are reserved till she gets as good at him at avoiding crashes.

- the first time he sees that she sneaks into the liquor cabinet he starts freaking out a bit. he definitely knows this isn’t her first time by her demeanor and probably screams at her for it. he means well, he REALLY doesn’t want her to have an addiction like he did her age. but he’ll let her slide a drink or two when she’s behaved well.

- he’s also super interested in the music she listens to by now. he literally follows her Spotify playlist just so he can make sure she’s not listening to any “crap” because NO child of his will have a bad music taste. this is a muse free household.

- the first time they get into a really big fight he’s actually devastated. it’s probably over her sneaking out and drinking, something he did frequently as a teen, but no one was there to supervise him. sure he came out fine but…. most certainly not perfect. a screaming fight ensues with him making her cry at the end, the standard “I HATE YOU!” before she runs off into her room. he’s heart broken because his little girl has grown up so fast, and he hopes she doesn’t entirely turn out like him.

- the moment she graduates he is so embarrassing at the ceremony. definitely that parent that cheers way too loudly, “that’s my girl!” takes a thousand blurry photos on his clunky iPad. he even sheds a tear or two when she tells him she loves him, and that she wouldn’t be the person she is today without him. now he’s full on sobbing

- murdoc niccals is far from the perfect parent. but he 100% wants the best for his not so little angel

Its not friday the 13th but this is hilarious asfff

Happy Friday13

Maybe women commit more murders than men, but are better at hiding it because they learn to clean up blood from a young age.

beautiful!

Sincerely, 

Thank you.

Soulmate tropes with my boys.

Pete: Anytime you or your soulmate gets hurt the other feels it.

Pete felt the sharp stab at his upper arm. His soulmate must have got their flu shot. Running his arm he blinked

“Oh fuck” he always seemed to forget his soulmate had 7+ years of feeling him get tattoos. And now get them lazored off.

“Well fuck” he hoped his soulmate would forgive him for the hours of pain.

Colson: You don’t see color until you see them.

Colson always wondered what his eyes looked like, his friends all said they were blue. Like the ocean or the sky. But he didn’t know what the fuck blue was.

Every girl he was with never gave him the sudden rush of world waking colors.

Not even Emma, though it gave him casie so he couldn’t complain there.

No he didn’t know what blue was until he ended up with a girl face first into his chest.

“Hey whoa! You okay?!” She looked up at him, her shirt was some color he never knew

“Whoa...your eyes are beautiful” colson smiled

“Yeah my friends said it’s something called blue...”

Dom: anything one sings the other can hear

His soul mate had to live across the world, everytime he was trying to sleep they would end up singing some random pop song or oldie song he remebered from his teen years

The favorite right now seemed to be ironically his song.

“I’m 11 minutes away...and I have missed you all day” dom smiled at the voice in his head

“I’m 11 minutes away....so why aren’t you here” he sang back, and soon they had a duet going

“One day I’ll meet you soulmate...I promise you here” dom sang it hoping it would go through...

“One day my dear” the voice sang back to him, smiling he closed his eyes hearing the soft sounds of his soulmate humming some random song.

i need this ive only been out in public three times since last janurary cuz ive got agoraphobia and social anxiety but i need this so bad