Please Please Eat Me Alive Turn My Body Into Something Sacred I Don't Want To Be Here Anymore Everything

It feels like no matter who I mirror, no matter how hard I try to please people, no matter how nice I try to be— no one fucking likes me enough to stay or just return my energy equally. It’s so exhausting but I keep trying and trying to get this love and attention but it’s not sticking.

Having bpd really is like playing life on the hardest difficulty it has to offer. When you're upset, it's like grief. When you're mad, it's like fighting back the rage of a warrior. When you're numb, it's absolutely debilitatingly so, and when you're dissociated, it's like nothing on this planet, including yourself, exists or is even real anymore. It's a constant battle of fighting against your own body's extremely out of control instincts. It's not supposed to be this hard to simply interact with other human beings and yourself, is it?

i feel like i do 25% of what an average person does in a day and still it's too much

why am i always the person who needs to apologize. no one considers my emotions, it doesn’t matter what someone has done to me. once i make them upset, then i’m in the wrong and i’m a terrible person.

do you wanna hang out tonight my curse was finally lifted

"what did you do with all that anger?"

"i ate it raw, like I was a starving child and it was the only thing that could sustain me."

It gets so old watching people have and get the things you so badly want. I just sit there hoping one day, it'll be me. But I've hoped for so long with so little in return that I'm finally starting to realize that it will never be me. I was born with the promise of being pitiful and undeserving.