Sometimes I Feel Like All I Am Is A Disorder

I wish I had a group of friends to wander the city with

tear me to shreds

I'm sick of this mad, mad world

make me someone's bride and count to ten

then blow my head out at the alter

I'm sick of this mad, mad world

I'm sick of the people

I'm sick of the doctors

I'm sick of YOU telling ME what's wrong with MY head

when it's MY head and NOT YOURS

make me into someone's dinner and say a prayer

tear me to shreds

I don't care

Without my mental illness I wouldn't know who I am but, because of my mental illness I have no sense of self. Like the logic is super crazy.

1 of my love languages..

And lately I've been stuffing my dumb fucking face ruining so much progress

Wish I had thighs but if I gain more than 5lbs I want to kill myself 🙄

In the end I will destroy myself, because what other option do I have?

If you’ve had a period of basically dissociating from a hard time of your life, you’ll know that doing even the littlest thing that has an effect in the real world vs on a screen can be so profound. Something as little as you doing a favor for someone, or someone noticing something about you that you didn’t think anyone would even pick up on bc your brain is all messed up about being perceived. Your living footprint is all muddied and murky. It takes a lot to even feel like you’re inhibiting your body. So consequences that come as a direct result of you just living, whether big or small, blow you away on an inexplicable level

High off the way you speak

Submerging me

Can't think, think, think

It's only you

Man y'all must really like crazy girls I hope you know you'll be tired of me the second I get mad for the first time

But also please pay attention to me