I Would Take You Places You Ain't Never Been Before

mr. aonuma, please

That first one is really doing it for me.

When it’s time to pet your cat

Georg Janny (1864–1935)

action movie about a guy who pretends to be a hitman and does the whole “25% up front and the rest when the job is done” thing but then just keeps the down payment, doesn’t kill anybody, and stops responding to the client’s calls, knowing that they can’t sue him for breach of contract without confessing to trying to hire a hitman. problem is now a lot of people who are comfortable with the concept of paying someone to kill someone else are mad at him

I… I didn’t make that.

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여어- 히싸씨부리 （ ɔ̸ᴉʇɐ͟N͞さんのツイート ）

there are only 4 aces in a deck of cards...

Five asexuals are playing cards.

One starts to explain the rules: 

I’d say no cheating, but there are already five aces at the table.