Let-me-leave-this-place00 - Welp

I'm sorry if I'm difficult to deal with. I don't know how to deal with myself either.

i want to get my shit together so badly

i also want to just give up

I don't need someone to talk to. I need someone to kill me.

My existence feels wrong. Like I wasn't even supposed to be here to begin with.

Haha

Real

Bathwater

There's somthing about the water

As it slowly fills a bath

Illuminated by only the flashlight on my phone

The way it splashes

And sparkles

It hits differnt

You cant place the feeling

It's strange

And there's somthing about the blood

That runs down my thighs

It mixes with the water

Leaving trails of red till its whisked away

The sting dosent quite hit

For my brain is not here

The hole in my chest

Stole it away

The hole bleeds too

But the blood is not red

You cant see it

But I can feel it

It holds me down when I try to stand

Tells we no as I earn to do

Why do I listen?

It's easy

And its left me no engery

To do anything hard

forced to say “it’s okay!” Instead of throwing a fucking chair at their head

"Oh my fine!" Yeah please excuse me while I go did through my mother's medicine cabinet to collect pills and stick a pencil sharpener into my leg.

growing up is terrifying i wasn’t supposed to make it this far and now my future depends on me and i have to make wise choices and decisions and i’m just sitting here like a clueless little kid

Tw sui talk and attempt

Me having to support my boyfriend after I tried to kms and apologising.

Am I selfish for wanting to scream that mabye it was harder for me??

Am I selfish for wanting the tiniest bit of support??

Like im sorry I tried to kill myself but obviously im going through some shit.

He then proceeded to dump on me how he was sucicudial and acted like he got it

I'd been suicidal for as long as I can remember

Im sorry me killing myself fucked with him I really am

But I feel like he didn't even bother to consider that mabge it fuxked with me

Mabye I get flashbacks and panic attacks because of it