What I Think Will Happen If I Message My Mutuals

Before I hit the hay and leave to the concrete jungle, I have to post these devious queer lists (like tier list but for the el gee bee tee) I made on VC . I'm tormenting my friend with look outside rn and it will become your problem too, dear reader!

Yes I will explain all of these just uhh scroll down ig

Rustle rustle grabs my papers . Ahem .

Okay I'm following the first tier list's order (besides Sam, he goes first) while I try to remember my reasons at like midnight rn so bear with me here.

Sam is an any pronouns bisexual because he is the self insert protagonist. It would be weird for him to be anything else for that reason alone. Don't tell me I'm wrong for this one or any of these for that matter I WILL kill you IRL with MY ARMY OF SQUIRRELS

Okay anyway Lyle is a cis gay man because at least the mlm part is canon. He doesn't strike me as someone particularly curious about his gender he just rlly wants sam's dick I mean lips. Yeah.

Hellen is a cis but butch lesbian ! She has lesbian energy I think she and Sam can be Yuri if you squint really hard. I have a reason as to why she's cis but you'll have to go through my 7 woke opinions to hear why.

Leigh is also a lesbian because hi Hellen x Leigh nation I see you. Also she/they/it is a diabolical pronoun line up, don't think I've ever met someone with those pronouns who doesn't bite people irl. She would bite your lips off if you tried to kiss her so like don't do that okay? Okay.

SHE'S CUT OFF IN BOTH IMAGES BUT THAT'S BERYL. TRANSFEMME LESBIAN BECAUSE OF A FUNNY MEME I SAW ABOUT TOP SURGERY OKAY THAT'S THE ONLY REASON BACK OFF

SAME GOES FOR FREDERIC EXCEPT ITS THE LINE "DEPENDING ON THE TIME OF DAY THE FRENCH GO EITHER WAY" I had to make sure that aligned properly with my dope as hell animatic (I'M WORKING ON IT). Also he's kinda transition goal so he gets to be transmasc tralalalala

Aster I imagined using Tumblr . Like the way he talks reminds me of Tumblr users, as a Tumblr user using Tumblr rn. Why does that matter? Idk bro but have you ever met a cishet person here? Yeah that's what I thought.

Okay Dan was like the second one I did. He gave me the energy of my former high school cishet classmates that would grab each other's asses but claim that they were just friends like okay bro whatever you say ig

With Jeanne I had the idea of her having been in a situationship with a biker back in the 90s and it just left her kinda confused, I think she has bigger things to worry about atm

AURELIUS' TWINK TIER HAS CONTEXT BUT I FORGOT WHAG IT WAS I think I made like a joke that the way he talks reminded me of TikTok femboys and my friend pinned the message in our chat and yeah so he got his own special tier, gj Aurelius!

Papineau was hard but my friend convinced me of them being enby cuz of the whole janitor thing so congrats you've been promoted to he/they. Also aroace cuz dawg's too occupied with cleaning to worry about relationships

Roach and Morton are both bugs and I don't think bugs really conform to our standards of love and gender plus they're too busy trying to not get eaten by rat baby rn

Xaria and Monty swapped genders back in highschool and one time I saw someone say that they're qpr together and god that's so true to me, thanks kind stranger for your wisdom

Ernest is a transition goal so same thing as Frederic, to the transmasc tier with you. Additionally! I think he doesn't really worry too much about finding love again because he has this whole muse thing going on. He liked this lady once, she's probably dead now and he sings songs about missing her. See my vision,,, (I love Ernest so much I might be his only fan)

Sybil doesn't remember jackshit but she's straight and she's transfemme, not that that matters much considering she's like all slopped now but good for her (in my head she once looked like elendira from the trigun manga,,)

I used cute moth philippe here but I was referring to the evil fungus. The evil fungus belongs into the derogatory tier because fuck you

Jasper... Let it go bro... That's the only reason he's in derogatory and also I don't think he's trans, he would watch conspiracy theory shorts

Oh yeah then the kids. Kids can be gay! I was very bi when I was younger . But ranking them in the sexuality list felt kinda weird so I just didn't do it. Rat baby got put into xeno tier because it doesn't have any gendered pronouns, does it even have a gender, is it even aware full stop?

Okay that's all I got, this post is so long. It's late so if I missed anyone chew me up in the tags idm . If u disagree lmk as well cuz I'm very much a multi-hc person and I am very agreeable. Though I'm always right so like heh I'm not expecting THAT to happen... (I hope you can tell that this shit is so unsrs)

Gn look outside nation... Sincerely, Benny mcSluggins

This is Greg. Greg is a queer ally!

I feel like an alien tomb would be sooooo fucking cool until a alien mummy gets up and chase you

me and the mysterious shadow entity i have a situationship with

goob goob

THEN I'LL BECOME THE MONSTER

I WILL DEAL THE BLOW

AND I'LL BECOME THE MONSTER

LIKE NONE THEY'VE EVER KNOWWNN

SO WHAT IF IM THE MONSTER

LURKING DEEP BELOW?

I MUST BECOME THE MONSTER

AND THEN WE'LL MAKE IT HOME

obsessed with sam's deeply weird, hooded situationships who live in his apartment

is there a ship name for the angel and demon mikes

"She should've been at the club" but for child characters. She Should've Been At The Swing Park.