Fictional Character: I Don't Care About Sex

Fictional character: I don't care about sex

Me, an asexual individual: Ohh, that's something i can relate to. Finally! Yay!

Fictional character: I don't care about romance either.

Me: That's cool! It will be very enjoyable to watch you have a meaningful life and be a complex, unique person who simply happens not to feel sexual or romantic attraction.

Fictional character: In fact, i don't care about other humans at all. I don't have friends or family. I'm a very lonely person. Other people call me a freak.

Me: ... Fine, i guess

Fictional character: All my social interactions are very child-like, cold-hearted, superficial and meaningless. The sole reason for this is my lack of romance and sex. It makes me incapable of having a happy, normal relationship of any kind.

Me: What

Fictional character: But now i met That One Special Person.

Me: the fuck

Fictional character: That One Special Person changes everything. They heal my broken heart and make me capable of having feelings. Obviously i have been broken the whole time.

Me: ...

Me: Why did i even expect anything else, i should know better by now