Roll A Die, Roll A Poison - Evocation And Provocation

ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝗣𝗢𝗩: 𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴

ft. platonic bnha, jjk & genshin impact

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

a/n: if this flops I will sue Tumblr because I thought of this at 1am.

Dabi always grins at you when he sees you, without fail. You've been there for him ever since you two crossed paths, and oh how proud he is to call you his best friend - he just would never tell you that.

Bakugou rolls his eyes when he sees you coming, yet proceeds to stroll behind you when you two walk together. He's decided he actually likes letting his guard down a little bit when it comes to you.

Endeavor shouts for you whenever you aren't within 10ft of his radius. [NAMEEEEEEE]! He also talks about, if you aren't married yet, how he'd be the best man of honour ever, or even the best maid of honour! So if you ever need one...

Scaramouche likes to pull on the back of your chair to make you fall, like the menace that he is, and pretend that he didn't do shit. However if you do get hurt, he give you a quick pat on the shoulder as a silent apology.

Childe slings an arm around your shoulder ever time he sees you, smiles, and waffles to you about his day, about how he had some new recruits and all that fuckery. Hopefully you like listening, because he's about to talk your ear off.

Zhongli feels great pride in calling you his closest companion, especially since he's managed to get over Guizhong with your help. You're one of the only people he shares the "memories" with, and can make him really laugh after a long day's work. First one to finish their Osmanthus wine has to pay the bill!

Gojo is canonically an icon, and he likes to make you look like one too! This means dress up time, and a pair of his own sunglasses on your eyes to complete the look. Fabulous 👌

Nanami is like a father figure to most of the first and second years, so you'll obviously be a parental figure too! Depending on who you like, he'll tease you just a teensy bit, only because you tease him about Gojo and that one doctor who made him blush in S1.

Yuuji jumps on your back all the time, you never see it coming, and drags you to places he wants to go. Having to deal with Sukuna makes you immune to insults and even gives you the upper hand when it comes to comebacks. (You two have matching hoodies.)

can I ask whole alphabet with lillia vanrouge? Maybe imposter au?

Warning: Yandere thing. Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Lilia Vanrouge.

Note: By imposter au, I'm going to assume you mean they have sentience. So the imposter au but without the imposter part. I've kind of been trying to keep it so that there would be no difference, no matter the au. It's a little difficult, but I'm managing.

Letters: A - Z 

✂ Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? 

     ✄ When you asked the universe for someone who would love you, you didn’t expect the universe to toss you a short enigmatic being that’s thousands of years old and may or may not have committed war crimes, someone who dresses like an edgy teenager and has the same interests as one, who also recently decided to try and blend in with young mages at a school. And yet here you are, now trapped with this crazy(?) old bat. 

     ✄ Lilia is a naturally caring figure. After all, he has cared for several people in his lengthy lifetime. This ancient fae is one of the most open with his feelings and plentiful in his affection. He just thinks you're simply to die for! You’re so endearing and adorable that he constantly finds himself cooing over you. Kisses, hugs, and other gestures of affection are fairly common. He enjoys surprising you this way. Pressing a big kiss against your cheek suddenly so your face heats up in embarrassment, surprising you with a hug as he appears seemingly out of nowhere, a fleeting whisper and giggle by your ear when he’s no where in sight. He loves to take in all your expressions and reactions, and besides he can’t help but tease you a teensy bit. 

     ✄ He doesn’t get worried much, but he does concern himself with your needs and wants. Although he isn’t tripping over himself to follow out your every will, he does quickly and efficiently complete your requests. He’s not desperate, particularly violent, or rash, but he’s obsessive and a little delusional. Perhaps that’s the worst part. He isn’t tiring himself out just to see you smile, he doesn’t lash out, but he’s just utterly fascinated by you. He truly believes he’s doing what’s best for you. Words can’t describe his strange form of love directed at you. He’s an enigma. Sometimes it’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking or feeling. He doesn’t ever become cross at you, he treats you almost like a child that can do no wrong. But maybe that’s precisely what you are in his twisted vision. A precious youngster he must care for, whether you want his love or not. 

✂ Blood. How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

     ✄ Extremely. Let’s not forget that despite his youthful appearance, this is an ancient fae we’re talking about. He’s witnessed countless deaths, catastrophes, and wars, his hands are stained and would be overflowing with enough red to drown him. He’s a decorated veteran who's fought in many battles. Lilia can go from taking on and easily defeating a group of attackers, and in just ten seconds he’s back by your side to force convince you to lay your head on his lap and rest. 

     ✄ However, he won’t kill just to kill. He’s both strong and intelligent, so he can easily ward off any enemies with words alone. Besides, he doesn’t actually want to end a life if he doesn’t have to. He can very easily kill any troublesome people that try to interfere in affairs solely between you and him, but death isn’t needed. It’s more of a last resort, which is never needed since Lilia always gets rid of the problem one way or another. Instead, he’ll usually resort to warnings that sound vaguely threatening. Lilia will casually bring something up, a weakness of his enemy, when warning them. Something like: It would truly be a shame if your signifiant other were to discover you went missing. Believe me, I know, the thought of losing an irreplaceable loved one is simply unbearable. I’m sure you wouldn't put your own beloved in such a situation, would you~? 

✂ Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? 

     ✄ There’s a 50/50 chance that you would be kidnapped, and it’s a thing that happens on a whim. If you are abducted, well, now that your officially under his care (he was determined to make this happen, preferably when you agreed to the idea), you’ll be treated like a princess/prince. You didn’t even know it was possible for him to become more affectionate and teasing. Lilia has raised and watched his own fair share of youths, so no matter how you behave, he’s prepared. He won’t ever mock you. There’s no need to feel ashamed or frightened, this is for your own good, you know. 

     ✄ Don’t be so sad, he’ll wipe your tears away as he comforts you in your sorrow. Is this truly so bad? You’re not alone, you now have him. You also have the others he raised, Malleus, Silver, and Sebek, to keep you company and protect you whenever he’s away. This is your home now, and he’ll be your family.

✂ Darling. Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? 

This one isn’t really that big of a deal. Having Lilia around is every so slightly vexing. He tends to mess around with you a lot. It’s never enough to the point of frustrating you or making you angry, but it is tiring and even a bit annoying. It seems that he’s always trying to catch your attention in the oddest of ways, it’s practically become a game for him at this point. Even if you try so hard to ignore him, you simply can’t. He won’t let you. He just wants to bask in your attention, so why not get it with a little fun? You can’t ignore him when he appears out of nowhere, right in front of you of all places. His big deep red eyes gazing up at you with an eager twinkle in them, and since he’s so close you can’t help but notice the little fangs on his smug grin.

✂ Exposed. How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? 

     ✄ Sometimes, there will be moments where you think you figured this fae out. You may try to predict his behavior, words, or actions, only for him to do something completely unexpected. It’s like he knows, he knows that you’re trying to piece him together but he doesn’t let you, only making it harder for you to figure him out. At times you truly do believe you understand him, especially when he’s been particularly soft, like when he’s fixing your hair or humming to you. He’s genuine, he makes himself vulnerable for you but it’s as if he goes back to this unpredictable mystery as soon as you decide to end the moment. Just how much is genuine? Does he even bare his heart to you? These are all questions you’ve yet to get an answer to. 

✂ Fight. How would they feel if their darling fought back? 

     ✄ Entertained, actually. When you try to fight back, argue, or do anything of the sort, he listens attentively with this smile on his face that almost feels mocking. It becomes clear that he’s hanging onto your every word, carefully watching your every move. It’s as if he’s listening to a child throw a tantrum, a kid crying over spilt milk. Still, he waits patiently until you’ve finished and he applauds your efforts! It’s humiliating, it makes you feel as if you were truly nothing by a baby whining, but these are important matters! This was your freedom you were talking about! He’ll then pat your head and smile as he asks: My my, you certainly had a lot to say and a lot of feelings bottled up, dear. Did you get everything off your chest? Was it fun? Are you calm now? There’s truly no winning this. 

✂ Game. Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? 

     ✄ Oh, no, no, of course it’s not a game...! Initially, at least. Well, it can become a game with enough provocation and insisting on leaving. Really, he tries so hard to make it comfortable for you here, he was beginning to believe that perhaps you were starting to settle in nicely, only for that not to be the case. But if this is the way you want it to be, so be it. He’ll play along until you tire yourself out and willingly return to him. Lilia will allow you to make escape attempts, just to see how your mind works and where the flaws (that allow you to get closer to escaping) he must fix are. Then when you believe you’re so close to achieving freedom, he appears to return you home, squashing your hope. You may have thought you were close to winning, but Lilia was carefully monitoring you the entire time. So truthfully, you were never once close to the freedom you desired. 

✂ Hell. What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? 

     ✄ Lilia treats you gently and he cares for you greatly, even if he is bothersome at times, he always means well. It seems like he’s never ever angry, not even when you act up against him. But he is to be feared, even though you know in your mind that he would rather stab himself than actually physically hurt you. But let’s remember, you are his dearest, no one else. Perhaps your worst experience with him, failed escape attempts and irksome teasing aside, was catching a glimpse of the violence he was capable. Again, he would never even think of lifting a blade or casting a spell against you! But others? If he must, they will not be spared. 

     ✄ Lilia had left you in the care of Sebek and Silver while Malleus kept you company. Silver was relatively understanding and easy to sneak away from given his habit of sleeping, plus he tended to trust you a bit more. Sebek was harder to shake off, but when Malleus had taken his leave for a moment, Sebek was determined to follow. You knew by now that escape was useless, especially since Lilia would be back any moment now. However, there was something you wanted to see. Both Lilia and Malleus had warned you to not check the orb today, a magical crystal ball the ancient fae had gifted you so you could see him whenever you missed him (like that would happen). But for the first time, you were tempted to use it to satisfy your curiosity. Now that Silver was peacefully dozing off, and Sebek with Malleus were out of the room, it was the perfect opportunity to check the crystal ball. Carefully approaching it, you stared at your reflection before murmuring, show me Lilia. And just like that, you saw him in the orb. All you saw was red on his fists as he stood over the figure of a stranger that lay still in an unnatural position, before a hand from behind you quickly enveloped the orb, blocking you from seeing the rest. It caused you to jump, the sight you saw for a split second making you feel dread. The hand had belonged to Malleus, and he merely gazed down at you while speaking, “Understand that a being like him who’s lived for many millennia and has done many deeds in his lifetime, will have enemies. Enemies that will find out about you and kill you if given the chance, as you are his weakness and you cannot defend yourself. So for your own sake and his, listen the next time he instructs you to do something.”

✂ Ideals. What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? 

     ✄ A peaceful simple kind of life is all he wants. In his eyes, it will be short due to the fact that you're human and he’s fae, he knows that, and it kills him. But he tries to live in the moment, the way he’s always lived. So he doesn’t think too much of the future. Although nothing would make him happier than seeing you learn to accept him with all his strangeness and begin to get along with those he had a hand in raising. If you could get along with his son Silver, learn to tolerate Sebek with that prideful nature of his, and even become friends with prince Malleus, then he would be satisfied. 

     ✄ After that...? He’s not sure what he’ll do after. He doesn’t even want to think about it. He doesn’t want to force tortuous forbidden spells on you that would destroy your humanity in exchange to let you live longer, but at the same time he hates the thought of a world without you. There are legends and stories of reincarnation... perhaps he’d dedicate all his time and effort into finding you again.

✂ Jealousy. Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? 

     ✄ No, actually, which may not be that surprising. In fact, you’ve never seen the ancient fae get jealous before. Lilia is confident in himself. He’s also a bit showy, so even in the public eye, he won’t hesitate to nestle into your side and have your arm around his shoulder or float behind you with his arms wrapped around your neck like a scarf as he nearly hangs off you. It’s clear that he’s trying to signal that he’s yours and vice versa, and it’s especially obvious judging by his self-satisfied grin. 

✂ Kisses. How do they act around or with their darling?

     ✄ Playful and doting. When you are present, his toothy smile will be constant and he becomes a bit more mischievous. He’ll keep up appearances in public... sort of. Not really though, unless you insist. But it incredibly obvious that he’s involved with you, as if the close lingering touches and the innocent batting of his eyelashes he gives you aren’t signs enough. In private, it’s as if his affection increases even more. He’ll urge you to sit on his lap as he games on his pc; when he has his face against the crook of your neck and you least expect it, he’ll blow raspberries just to startle you or make you laugh; or in more peaceful times he’ll simply hold you in his arms as he talks about anything and everything. 

✂ Love letters. How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

     ✄ Honestly, you probably should have seen this coming from a mile away, before the romantic gestures there were pink/red flags. After all, sometimes this fae has no filter, he just speaks his mind. There was always something he’d say that was off, too many compliments, but you simply brushed them off as him being kind. That is until the letters began arriving. See, Lilia is old, and he’ll admit that he greatly prefers courting through the traditional manner. Actually, it helps him gain your attention, because who doesn’t appreciate bouquets of flowers, long letters sealed with sweet smelling wax, and his attempts at serenading you by screeching singing a song he practiced in his club? It’s probably safe to say that you were intrigued by his attempts, and perhaps even interested in reciprocating. You needn’t know about the darker details of his growing obsession with you. This is all going so well! This is where the 50/50 chance of kidnapping you or maintaining a seemingly normal (as normal as it is to date an ancient being) relationship comes into play. 

✂ Mask. Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? 

     ✄ No, actually. The Lilia everyone else knows is the same Lilia you know, except you see him as far more affectionate. He has nothing to hide. At least, that’s what he says, but he’s still a mystery to you and most everyone else. Anyways, the only time he may act different, is if someone is a real threat to you. This can’t just be anyone, it takes someone powerful for him to take on this frightening persona, and you won’t see how quickly he goes from cooing over you to plotting this enemy’s death and where to hide the body.

✂ Naughty. How would they punish their darling?

     ✄ Punish you? No, no, no! Come now, he wouldn’t to that.

✂ Oppression. How many rights would they take away from their darling?

     ✄ He wouldn’t. I mean, he could, he most certainly could limit your freedom, but he wants to give you the benefit of the doubt. Besides, it’s not like you can get very far anyways, whether he be there or it be the others. Please, believe him, he truly only wants the best for you. He doesn’t want to upset you, so he won’t risk it by taking away your rights. He’s seen how people have withered without certain rights and freedoms, and he doesn’t want that for you. The most he’ll do as punishment, is lecture you.

✂ Patience. How patient are they with their darling? 

     ✄ Very. Extremely. His level of patience must be as long as his life, it’s astounding. No matter what you do or what you say, he won’t ever snap. In fact, he only continues to smile at your pathetic efforts, which makes you begin to lose your temper. There is nothing you can do that will cause his patience to dwindle. You aren’t sure if he has the patience of a saint or if he’s just keeping face so you won’t win, but you’re starting to think that the answers leans more towards the former. It seems that he almost knows what you’re thinking when you wonder if it’s a calm facade of some sort, and his content little smile turns to somewhat taunting. As if daring you to try and get him to crack. It felt as if his eyes were telling you: Go ahead, tire yourself out, it’ll be cute to see you try~

✂ Quit. If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? 

     ✄ Escape? Not happening. Leaving? He won’t let you. But death? Death is practically certain. It’s almost guaranteed that Lilia will outlive you. He’ll mourn like anyone else would, but then he’ll quickly wipe his tears and get to work. What’s he doing? Why, trying to find you again, of course! He never particularly believed in or paid attention to the stories of reincarnation in the past, but now he’s researching endlessly. To him it doesn’t feel like you’re truly gone, it just feels like you’re on a lengthy vacation and he’ll see you again soon. The thought of reuniting again fills him with such joy, it makes his heart throb just like it used to when you began exchanging love letters. The reminder that perhaps you’re out there somewhere again, is enough to keep him going until he finds you. 

✂ Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? 

     ✄ No, he feels no remorse. This was for the best, it was for you. It was necessary, for your wellbeing. Here with him you would be safe, you could be happy too. There is no letting go. He wishes to spend as much time as possible with you, he wants to treasure every single moment and create as many memories with you as humanely possible. Please, grant him this wish. 

✂ Stigma. What brought about this side of them? 

     ✄ Like previous times, I’ll answer this one the same. It depends on the au. 

✂ Tears. How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? 

     ✄ Oh dear, oh dearest, oh darling, don’t cry! Lilia has this unexplainable ability to comfort and calm those around him, whenever he sets his mind to it. You’re no exception. He using his thumb to wipe away your salty tears, and he’s still smiling. It isn’t mocking, but rather, it’s a soft and gentle smile that soothes you. He slowly shakes his head at your state, speaking softly to you. He isn’t teasing you, or mocking you, but he’s genuinely comforting you with kind words of comfort. Using his magic, he got a box of tissues to float closer and a warm cup of your favorite beverage set itself in front of you. Come, tell him what’s caused your sadness. He’s a wise being, so he’ll come up with suitable solutions. There’s always the chance that he caused it, the stress of the sudden change may be too much. If it is, he won’t mind, he’ll simply have to try harder to make this place more homey for you. He’ll simply have to do everything in his power to make you happy here. 

✂ Unique. Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

     ✄ Let’s see... Lilia gives you a lot of freedom, in fact, you have actually freedom. You’re simply being monitored wherever you go and whatever you do. Which is still surprising, considering that he may or may not have kidnapped you. For a yandere, it’s rare for them to be so lenient and forgiving. Especially considering that Lilia’s form of punishment is lecturing. 

✂ Vice. What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

     ✄ Escape? Haha. Funny. Yeah, noooo. But, if you want something you can just ask. If you’d prefer the more roundabout way, you can simply leave little hints lying around. Lilia quickly pieces it together and he catches on swiftly, he’s amused and will give in to practically anything you ask for, except leaving, of course. But anything else? Consider it done and yours. 

✂ Wit’s end. Would they ever hurt their darling?

     ✄ No. Never. As stated before, he’d rather hurt himself than ever hurt you. If he had to choose between causing you a bit of physical pain or give himself ten times that amount of pain you would’ve felt, he’d choose to brace the pain himself every single time. 

✂ Xoanon. How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

     ✄ Lilia adores you. He reveres you like royalty, and you would know. After all, you know how the ancient fae is with the literal prince of the valley. Because Lilia is so well respected in the valley, he’s able to afford luxuries for you. You practically live in the palace, any silly or stupid demand will be carried out, and every day he will always remind you of the love he holds for you. Winning you over is important to him, but your safety and happiness are first and foremost. Once he’s sure you’re somewhere safe and you’re slowly adjusting to the environment, only then will he focus on winning you over. 

✂ Yearn. How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

     ✄ Does not snap. However, the longest he’ll pine after you before resorting to traditional fae kidnapping, is one year at most. Why? Because as mentioned before, he wishes to spend as much time as possible with you. That’s why! Human lives are so short and fragile, so he has to make the most of it!

✂ Zenith. Would they ever break their darling?

     ✄ Can one be broken with love? Well, maybe, but Lilia won’t break you. He’s much too gentle and careful with you for that. Please, try to understand this fae. He truly loves you like he’s never loved anyone before. It’s an intense and overwhelming sort of love, something he’s never experienced before and he knows is not normal but he can’t resist. You make him happy, and he wants to make you happy. So won’t you learn to accept this old soul and his fantastical odd ways? 

FAMILY (OF SORTS) — Platonic Fatui Harbingers & reader.

i. SUMMARY: The Fatui Harbingers have a soft spot for Arlecchino's child. ii. CONTENT WARNINGS: None! iii. NOTES: STRICTLY PLATONIC, headcanons, fluff, parent!arlecchino, house of the hearth!reader, all of the harbingers are reader's weird aunts and uncles, gn!reader, they/them pronouns used, 1.6k words. iv. A/N: the fatui are just a dysfunctional found family and i will die on this hill. shoutout to @romaritimeharbor for listening to my rambles about this idea 🫶🫶 also pierro and pulcinella aren't here because i could not think of anything to write for them :')

All of the harbingers knew about Arlecchino’s child; the one that appeared in Fatui Headquarters stuck to her side, eyes cast to the floor. They all saw the way that Arlecchino had held a soft grip on their shoulder, guiding them through the halls with the gentle touch of a parent from the gentle hands of a monster.

The Knave always swore she didn’t play favourites, but from an outside view it was clear that they held a special place separate from the rest. Anyone could see the way they appeared so much more frequently by her side. They were permitted to sit in on meetings, following her like a shadow. Some of the Harbingers guessed that she had picked them to be her successor; that their frequent shadowing was training them to take over once she was gone. Others joked about Arlecchino’s apparent soft side taking over. Whatever the reason, time went on, and the Fatui saw more and more of them.

All of them varied in their opinions of them—some indifferent, some fond—but the Harbingers all cared for them in their own ways.

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Columbina simply adores them. They’re just so small and cute, so tiny and fragile! Admittedly, her idea of ‘tiny’ is rather skewed—applying to anyone she deems weaker than her (notably, this label also gets given to Capitano and Tartaglia, despite their larger size and physical strength. The Damselette is truly an enigma.)

Whenever Arlecchino allows her to watch over them, she is delighted. She has a penchant for pet names, so ‘angel’, ‘my sweet’, and ‘lovely’ are all more commonly used than their name. Sometimes there’s a ‘baby’ or ‘bub’ if she’s feeling particularly affectionate, but no matter the name, it is always dripping with sweetness. She’ll sing to them too, to calm them down or get them to sleep. Her voice is gentle, laced with as much love as she would show her own child.

Some Fatui believe Columbina is a woman formed from hollow sweetness; that behind the lazy smile and soft voice, lies a callous and unfeeling heart, but her insistence on singing them to sleep comes from a place of genuine affection.

When they have to return home, she’ll kiss their cheeks and sweep them into a hug, making them promise to visit her soon.

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The fact that Arlecchino would tear out his throat with her bare hands if he dared to look at them the wrong way is the only thing stopping Dottore from roping [Name] into one of his experiments. Even then, he can’t help but investigate them a bit. Nothing extreme—please put the knife down, Knave—just some simple trials to see how they work. A quick strength assessment, a test of their reflexes, enough to judge the effectiveness of the House of the Hearth’s training.

The segments all had different opinions of them, varying from Prime’s general indifference to some of the younger segments fondness towards them. The latter were less likely to try to trick them into the lab—not that Arlecchino would allow them anywhere near it without strict supervision—and instead focused their efforts on convincing them to help mess with the rest of the Dottores. They proved to be an excellent partner in crime to thoroughly ruin the older segment’s day.

Despite his assertion that he won’t harm them, Dottore tends to be the one Arlecchino trusts least around her child. His unwillingness to get on her bad side doesn’t stop her from insisting Columbina or herself accompany them whenever they visit his lab.

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Tartaglia loves them. The days he gets to see his siblings are few and far between, so he’s always eager to play the older brother for them, and for any other House of the Heath kids that stop by. In fact, whenever any of the children visit, he makes sure to buy them plenty of sugary treats and candies before quickly sending them back to their Father.

(Arlecchino was not happy the first time this happened. It didn’t stop him from doing it every time, though.)

He was the first to convince them to call him Uncle, a feat that he bragged about to the rest of the Harbingers. This small incident would inadvertently lead to a petty competition to see who their favourite is, an event that would quickly spiral out of control with bribery and promises coming from all sides.

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Sandrone is very particular with who she allows in her workshop. When the rare guest was allowed inside, they had to follow three simple rules: do not touch anything, do not move unless I tell you to, and do not talk to me while I work. When [Name] first stumbled into the room, she was prepared to discourteously shoo them out the way she did whenever Tartaglia poked his head in to see what she was working on. But after some extensive begging, she relented and sat them down in a corner to watch her work. 

Even if she is far less fond of them as some of the other Harbingers, she still audibly squeaked the first time she was called Aunt Sandrone. This was covered up with a cough, but nothing could stop the warmth blooming in her chest. It was the first time a living creature had addressed her with such a familial title; some of her synthetic creations had a habit of calling her Mother, but this was a living, breathing person.

After they started calling her that, she quietly told them they were free to visit when she was working—provided they did not interfere with anything. 

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As much as he denies it, Scaramouche has a big soft spot for kids. He’ll swear up and down that he doesn’t care for them at all, but he treats them noticeably gentler than he treats any other member of the Fatui. Arlecchino once caught them huddled against him, using his wide-brimmed hat to shelter from the rain. She never let him forget that moment—the fearsome Balladeer, who notoriously never let anyone close enough to touch him, allowing her child to use him as an umbrella.

They remind him a little too much of the young boy he once considered his family. Whenever he spends time with them, there is something inside that both urges him to protect them in the way he couldn’t protect that child, and warns keep them at arm’s length before they betray him too. But his endearment towards them prevailed, and he begrudgingly allowed them a place in his heart.

Unlike Columbina’s affectionate pet names, the only nicknames Scaramouche gives them are ‘kid’ and ‘brat’, depending on his mood. On good days, they might even get called by their name, though it is a rarity. He cares for them, truly. In his own, strange way.

⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Capitano is the best at giving advice out of all the harbingers. He is much more down to earth than Columbina and Dottore, and far less cynical than Scaramouche and Sandrone. He’ll let them ramble about their frustrations freely before offering gentle suggestions on what they should do to help. Even if they aren’t looking for a solution, he’s patient enough to hear out their thoughts, however jumbled and incoherent they may be.

He also likes teaching them skills he deems important for a young person to know. These include cooking—Tartaglia is not allowed to join them in these lessons after he almost burnt down the kitchen trying to ‘help’—as well as sewing and mending clothes.  

⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Pantalone never would describe himself as parental. He never cared too much for kids; he hadn’t enough patience to deal with constantly crying babies or needy toddlers. Arlecchino’s child was thankfully far above that age, so they were less unbearable to deal with.

He was quite happy to spoil them with extravagant gifts and treats to win their favour, but the most effective way he does so is simply spending time with them. Trips to luxurious restaurants for lunch, allowing them to shadow him while he works. He also likes to give them advice—completely unasked for—about life, and relationships. Unlike Capitano however, his advice is of a much less helpful; he has a habit of advocating for blackmail for solving problems.

In exchange for a box of the most expensive pastries in Teyvat, he got them to call him their favourite uncle in front of Tartaglia. The miniscule dent in his funds was worth the look of betrayal on the younger Harbinger’s face.

⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Signora easily took the longest to warm up to them. When she first met them, it was easy enough to label them as Arlecchino’s brat and move them from her mind. But they kept appearing, in and around the headquarters. At first they were always glued to the Knave’s side, but eventually Signora began to see them wandering alone through the halls. She took note of them—not out of any attachment to them, only out of self-preservation knowing that if Arlecchino found out her child landed themself into trouble while she was close by, it would be her funeral soon.

The sense of obligation faltered when she started to grow fond of them. They were irritatingly innocent, a rarity within the Fatui. Something about the spark in their eyes reminded her of when she was young—when she still had warmth in her heart and blood in her veins. For the first time in centuries, her frozen heart began to thaw with care towards another person, and begrudgingly, she began to accept that they were not as unpleasant as she once believed.

reblogs and comments are appreciated! ♡

Hear me out, plat yan Scaramouche with a darling who got hurt by others before, therefore she only trusts him. Scaramouche was happy since he didn't have to do the dirty work of getting darling to rely on him, but the happiness was short-lived until he found out that his darling caught Pantalone's attention. Plat yan Scara being protective and possessive, and a really jealous Pantalone since darling clings to Scaramouche for comfort. ⭐

Omg it would be absolute chaos 😭😭

I can see Scara and darling just going out to spend the day together and Pantalone showing up out of the blue and trying to butt in. And then he insists on buying literally everything to try and show off to darling and Scara simply not having it 😭

They would walk in a line with Scara in the middle as a physical barrier between Pantalone and darling and anytime Pantalone speaks, Scara is interrupting him or answering for darling. And the whole conversation between those two would be so passive aggressive, fake smiles and all. They don’t wanna upset or make darling uncomfortable by starting a fight in the middle of the street, but that’s not gonna stop them from throwing thinly veiled insults at each other at every opportunity

TWST HC #1

Who has two thumbs and has the same birthday as a pair of sociopathic eels?

Depending on who you ask, sharing your birth date with the Leech brothers is either a blessing, a curse, or some amalgamation of the two.

Somehow, some way, they will find out your birthday. Did you mention it to a classmate in passing? That’s great! They can tell Floyd all about it. You got an alert from Magicam? You also get a like from Jade! Really the only way to be sure they don’t know is to make sure no one knows. But then where’s the fun in that?

If and when these two find out you have the same birthday, look forward to having at least one of them glued to you every waking second. You’re sandwiched between the two of them during meals, walking to classes, and studying in the library. For any joint classes you have with the upperclassmen, expect Jade to immediately take the spot right next to you. Some of the students mention that he’s not even taking this class, but don’t worry. He’s memorized the coursework and is more than happy to help you in exchange for keeping him company. As for the rest of the school day, well… Deuce was more than a little confused when he came into class and saw Floyd in his seat, practically draped over you like an overly affectionate blanket.

Speaking of your classmates, any friendly chats and hangout time is going to be severely cut down for the day. Riddle had planned to gift you with some Trey-made sweets and a Happy Birthday, only to immediately retreat the second he saw Floyd playing with your hair - he’ll just leave the box on your doorstep with a card. Before Rook could emerge from his hiding spot and perform the poem he’d written for you, Jade all but pulled him out of hiding. Some of them put up a good fight, trying to wrestle you away from the twins, but it’s not long before Floyd’s pulling at your sleeve and asking for attention while Jade kindly sees them off.

Azul and the rest of Octavinelle prepared a huge birthday party for Floyd and Jade, and you’re coming too. To be fair, they were already planning to invite you, but now it’s mandatory. Floyd made it mandatory. They’ve put together an assortment of sweets, snacks, and drinks, all of which includes some of your favorites. How and why there’s such a comprehensive list of your favorites is something you’ll worry about another day. Hm, you want to bring your friends, too? That’s fine, but if they cause any trouble it’ll be at your expense, so pick your guests carefully.

Birthday gifts are a double-edged sword. Figuratively speaking; no one’s managed to acquire a literal one yet and thank the Seven for that. By the end of the day, you’ll have a present from each of the brothers. To no one’s surprise, Jade buys you that one thing you’ve been saving up week’s worth of money to buy. Depending on Floyd’s mood, he’ll either recall something you mentioned in passing and springboard off that for ideas, or he’ll re-gift you something he bought because it looked cute. So, what did you prepare for them?

FSHHHH~

CRACK

BOOM!

Colors and light ignited the sky for a split second before slowly fading into the dark of the night. You’d had a feeling Floyd was going to enjoy the idea of setting off fireworks, but Jade’s enthusiasm was an unexpected if not welcome revelation. At least you assume he’s enjoying the display, if the way his eyes remained trained on the sky is anything to go by.

“And you said this is part of a holiday where you come from?”

“Kind of,” you shrug, pausing to watch Floyd set off another and send it skyward, “It’s not something known worldwide, and even fewer people celebrate it. But some folks still do things like have bonfires and light fireworks.”

Another burst of sparks pepper the sky, leaving trails of embers as they go. Willows, if memory serves you correctly.

“In that case, would this not be considered a celebration of the holiday rather than our birthday.”

Maybe it’s because you’ve been around Jade for the whole day, but you can’t help but laugh.

“Are you saying you’re unhappy with my gift? And after all the trouble I went through to get these fireworks…”

Against your better judgment, you lean against him. Just a little. Enough to feel him move as he laughs.

“My apologies. I should know better than to turn down such a compassionate gift.”

“Hey, Jade! Koebi-chan!” you both look up just in time to see Floyd running up the steps to Ramshackle, “Did you see how big that last one was? Man, my ears are still ringing.”

He grins and grabs your arm, nearly pulling you off the ground as he starts walking back to the field.

“C’mon, there’s still a couple more left. Let’s set them off together.”

He doesn’t even wait for a response before dragging you off. Behind you, you can hear Jade laugh to himself, followed by the soft crunch of footsteps against hard dirt.

“So did you enjoy your present?”

“Yep!” Floyd nods his head, playfully swinging the hand holding you as he leads you to a single rocket stuck to the ground, with a wick trailing a foot behind, “The party was nice and all, but this is more exciting!”

With a quick flick, a small flame erupts from his pen, and hands the wick to you.

“Go ahead, Koebi-chan. Light the candle and make a wish.”

“I don’t think that’s how birthday wishes work,” you chuckle before holding the wick above the flame.

You barely have time to register the faint hiss and wisps of smoke before being swept off your feet and carried away from the blast zone.

Hopefully Azul won’t be too upset if his henchmen come back a little… crispier than when they left.

hihi i requested that scara and little sibling reader a little while ago and i loved it sm!! so here i am Requesting Again…. could you do something with scara/wanderer and a child little sibling kinda like the rly cute kaveh fic you reblogged where they ask him to do their hair? except he’s like uuuugggghhhhhhh 🙄🙄 fiiiine 😒😒 but while he’s doing it he’s actually super gentle and sweet about it despite trying not show it ^^

hairstyling.

summary. scaramouche and the wanderer style their sibling's hair.

trigger & content warnings. none applicable.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. scaramouche & child!reader, wanderer & child!reader. 0.5k words. they/them pronouns for reader. this post is vaguely connected to what's with this sassy, lost child? but can be read as a standalone. author's thoughts. hello anon!! its lovely to see you again, please do feel free to request anytime <3 also you're so right that kaveh fic is so cute it deserves so many reblogs (me when i promote my mutual's work.... /lh).

scaramouche and the wanderer style [name]'s hair. how does it go?

scaramouche.

the balladeer seems annoyed when they meekly ask him to do their hair, his brow twitching. he's a busy man, you know? he doesn't have the time to spare for such simple tasks that they should easily be able to do on their own. it's their hair; why should he have to do it? they're big enough to know how to brush and style their hair, surely.

nevertheless, he scoffs, beckoning them over seemingly begrudgingly, as if this is the most demanding and inconveniencing thing they've ever asked of him.

he seems so aggravated, and yet...

it's with gentle, tender, patient fingers that he works apart the tangles in their hair. he never pulls hard, never gets angry and never just tears their knots apart with no regard to how such roughness would damage both them and their hair.

he's patient... but only to an extent.

he's patient when he begins slowly dragging the brush through their locks, soft when they whine about it hurting as his patience inevitably begins to run thin causing him to brush a little harder (though he doesn't outwardly apologize, he does get noticeably slower). despite his best efforts, the balladeer is impatient by nature. he can't maintain such a state forever.

their scalp would certainly be sore by the end, but their hair is prettily styled.

their big brother is not perfect, but he tries.

the wanderer.

the wanderer is gentler than the balladeer.

he's still rough around the edges, offering a scoff and some half-hearted complaint about how they can't do anything by themselves, but his faux irritation fades quickly into warmth as they settle down in front of him. he makes sure that they're comfortable before he begins.

he still works apart the tangles just as gently as before, but now...

the wanderer is somehow different than the balladeer. he's healing. he's recovering. slowly, he's coming back in touch with kunikuzushi, the innocent, doe-eyed, curious and kind side of himself, even if he still doesn't like to admit it. even if he still refuses to acknowledge that he was once like that. even if the rest of teyvat except the traveller, paimon, [name], and nahida has forgotten...

he's patient, genuinely patient.

the world is cruel, far too cruel for his sibling to handle, far too cruel for kunikuzushi to handle. he'd be damned if he displayed any of that cruelness towards them, even when doing something as simple as brushing their hair.

cruelty ruined him. it won't ruin them.

he offers short breaks when their scalp begins to get a bit too sensitive and sore to his motions, sharing a zaytun peach with them and asking how they want their hair styled. he takes note of their response and commits it to memory, ensuring that he doesn't get too focused and forgets their desires as a consequence.

his kindness is for their eyes to witness and their eyes only (and nahida's, he guesses...).

by the end, their scalp is pain-free and their hair is styled prettily.

the wanderer is not perfect, but he is at his best when it involves his baby sibling.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

Coming Home [Yandere Scaramouche x Reader]

Title: Coming Home [Yandere Scaramouche x Reader]

Synopsis: You never forgot Kunikuzushi. Nor did you tell anyone about him. He was a secret, and he entrusted you to keep him to yourself. 

Prompt: Scaramouche + “And what you own always comes home to you.” 

Word Count: 4134

Notes: yandere, non-graphic mentions of sex, abuse mentions 

He came into your life like debris blown harshly in an angry storm. Grey skies followed by unsettling stillness, everything out of place. He was something torn up at the roots, forced to go wherever the breeze took him, through winding paths, brushing against trees and debris and landing somewhere worse for wear but eager to reach upwards.

He simply showed up at your doorstep, an eyesore against the ordinary backdrop that was your life, and that was that.

Keep reading

Dark Reality (Filler)

Scaramouche x kitsune!fem!reader

synopsis | After all these years, you see your beloved enemy once more. And again, you two stand on opposing sides.

content | angst... i think

cw | none

a/c | @/ike_0910 on X (twt)

taglist | @ayanasss, @kunisnaomi, @swivy123, @blacky-rose, @cottencandysky, @i-ineedhelp, @vixialuvs, @shutingstar, @ashfrommars4, @xschizoe

a/n | a small filler for Flashing memories bcz the support has been overwhelming and it doesn't seem like it's winning my 300 follower poll 😭

If you haven't read the previous parts before, I strongly advise you to! Links are right here:

Flashing memories (1) + (1.5) here!

"THE WRATH OF THE GODS FILLS THIS FACTORY, and it feeds on your anger..." a husky laugh accompanied these words, as the Balladeer neared the traveller in slow steps. The traveller fell to the ground, their eyes closing as they struggled to keep themselves awake.

"Ah, what's happening..." Paimon immediately flew down to the traveller, shaking their arm frantically, "Get up...!" she yells panic-stricken. Their breaths were erratic, uneven as they tried to keep their eyes open, before they saw a figure walk ahead of their fallen figure. And soon their eyes closed.

Scaramouche tilted his head as he saw a woman approaching, clothed in a typical shrine maiden's attire and a mask of a fox covered her face. But he knew who it was. He could recognise you from anywhere, after all. You recognised him as well, the corners of your lips tugging downwards. After all these years, you two had to meet yet again. Paimon looked over to you, confused why you, Yae Miko's right hand, was here.

"Well if it isn't my beloved." he chuckles, crossing his arms as he stared at you. The mask only covered half of your face, the lower half was on full display for him, "Isn't it a wondrous meeting? We're fated to cross paths, aren't we, darling?" he smirked, his sharp gazes digging into the mask you wore. Then his smirk dropped, a scowl replacing his features. "What do you want?"

"Miss Tsuki? Do... do you know him?" Paimon flew over to hide behind your left shoulder, holding tightly onto the fabric of your clothes as she whispers not so quietly. You remain silent, glancing at her for a while before turning your gaze back to Scaramouche. "We... were acquaintanted a long time ago."

"Acquainted? Have you already forgotten all our lovely memories together?" he scoffed, "Or do you simply wish to forget me?" he knew you too well... or maybe he just guessed right. But you didn't let that faze you. You truly wished to bury those memories back deep into the forgotten corner of your mind. If it only were so simple.

"Hey! Don't talk to miss Tsuki like that! She would never ever hang out with an evil Harbinger like you!" the little fairy by your side jumped up from behind your figure to protect you, but was quickly shut down by the wrathful indigo that met her eyes. "'Tsuki', huh?" he scoffed once more, followed by an amused chuckle, "Since when did you go by such a distasteful name? Did that fox woman give it to you? I wonder..."

He paused, faking an expression as if he was deep in his thoughts, before muttering out your true name. The one he had given you all those years ago. "Did you not like that name?" he hummed, asking it as if it was a genuine question, "Nevermind that, makes it much more bearable to know you're not hopelessly clinging to that silly past."

"What do you want from the traveller?" you cut him off, not wanting to listen to his rambles. You did not need another reminder of what once was and what shall never be again. "Straight to the point, aren't you? I thought you might want to chat with me a bit longer. I suppose not." he faked a sigh, "I'm only here to kill the traveller."

Paimon shrieked in response, but you quickly shut her up. "I can't let you do that. I need them for something important." you reply, leaving out the fact that you were send by Yae Miko. She must've had a hunch that Scaramouche was involved in this damned factory or else she wouldn't have given you this important task of retrieving the traveller.

"As if I'd hand them over to you that easily." he smiles at you tauntingly. He opened his fist, a flicker of Electro created by his delusion danced across the palm of his hand. "You'll have to fight me if you're bold enough." he remarks, narrowing his eyes at your figure. In terms of power, you knew you couldn't beat him. Miko has already informed you about the Doctor breaking the seal to Scaramouche's abilites.

But you came prepared.

"I'm not searching for a fight. I'm here to trade with you." you say, hand reaching into your sleeve, before pulling out the gnosis. The one thing he was aiming for all his life. And now you held it in your possession right before his very being. He narrowed his eyes even further at the item in your hand. That was all he needed to achieve his purpose...

"I'll trade the traveller's life for the Electro gnosis." you spoke confidently, waiting for his reaction. He remained quiet, before a chuckle escaped his lips. It didn't take long for him to burst into a laughter of amusement. You furrowed your eyebrows behind the mask you wore, confused why he was laughing.

Once he calmed down, his indigo hues land back on your mask. "To think that the person I've abandoned becomes the one who's the most useful to me..." he mutters, a smirk adorning his lips as he reached out to take the gnosis from you. "I'll take you up on that deal. Now hand it to me."

You hesitated a bit. You weren't sure why Miko would ask you to trade the gnosis for the traveller's life. After all, this small chess piece held overwhelming powers... to trade it for the life of an outlander didn't seem beneficial to you. But you did as told anyways, throwing the gnosis over to him, as Scaramouche swiftly caught it with his hand.

Paimon watched this trade happen with wide eyes, but when she saw you giving the sign to leave, she did as asked. "I've brought two of my people with me. They are standing outside on guard, so be a dear and notify them to help carry the traveller." you tell her and she quickly flew out on your command.

Your turn your back to him to check up on the traveller, wanting to leave this place as soon as possible since you'd rather not spend another second here with him. But he stopped you, before you could take even a single step. "Who said I'd let you leave this place alive? I only traded the traveller's life for this gnosis, not yours." he said and you freeze in your place. A miscalculation, one might say... you didn't expect him to be this aggressive after already getting what he had come for.

You turn back around, glaring at him behind your mask. "What do you want from me this time?" you questioned him. He merely chuckled in response, taking a few steps closer to you. "Not so feisty, 'Tsuki'." he called you by that name mockingly, "Let's make another deal." he suggested, analysing your face for any reaction.

You pursed your lips, your nerves getting to your head but you didn't let it show. With bated breath, you prepared yourself for his next words or actions he might take. If he intended to kill you, you wouldn't go down without a fight.

"How about you come back to me?" he finally says, a hint of a soft tone was audible, layered underneath his usual cold one. It was a question you've longed to hear all those years ago... how long have you been dreaming to go back to him, to have him embrace you and have him tell you he never meant what he had said back then. You were tempted to... but you couldn't. You knew you shouldn't, your heart was squeezing ever so tightly in your chest.

This question came five hundred years too late. And so you knew your answer. "I'd rather die." you lie skillfully, your hands clenching tensely. And this time he bought your lie, his arms dropping to his sides, before he lets out a sigh. "I've figured." he says, before staring at you with cold eyes. "Then take off your mask. Let me see your face one last time and I'll let you off."

Silence surrounded the two of you once more. You didn't want him to see your visage, because you knew that he was able read your expression all too well. But you still have things to do and goals to accomplish before you could die peacefully. So your hand reluctantly reached up to your face, your fingers curling around your wooden texture, before slowly taking it off and revealing your face to him. The familiar face that he once knew and loved.

A face that seemed to have always smiled at him whenever he looked at it. A welcoming expression that always forgave him for anything and everything. Or that's how he had remembered it in his memories. That's what they all were now... mere memories. Because right now, your eyes looked pained and hateful. And these emotions were all directed towards him.

Before any words could be uttered, Paimon flew back inside with two men behind her. They quickly picked up the traveller, before being ushered out by the little fairy. You turn around again, your back facing him and you left him standing in that lonely factory, leaving this place without another word.

Outside that wretched cave, you breathe in the fresh air surrounding you. You had to stay rational, but your heart kept clenching with each step away from him. You wanted to go back oh-so-badly, to jump into his arms and reassure yourself that everything is fine again. That everything is good and that nothing will destroy the relationship you two had. But you knew that this wasn't some fairy tale.

You glanced back at the factory again, gazing at it longingly, before ultimately turning back to complete your task and fulfill your duties. That was when a cryo vision formed right before your eyes, the orb glowing strongly as it descended from the sky and into the palm of your hand. As you found yourself in a crossroad of decisions, this vision drove you to look back one more time at the place where Scaramouche still was. And you decided that you'll continue on your own path, hoping that this won't be the last time you two cross roads...

(extra snippet:)

A sigh escaped his lips, as Scaramouche turned to make his escape as well. He had been bluffing the whole time... He knew all too well that he didn't have it in him to actually lay even a finger on you. It was just like back then, when you two met during his rampage at the Raiden Gokaden. He just couldn't kill you even if he wanted to...

The Harbinger ran his fingers through his indigo locks. He must've been crazy to ask you to come back to him... but it was alright, at least he was able to get something out of this. To see your face one last time before he'll ascend to godhood. Soon he'll become an almighty being and all will be well again. Everything will be alright again and he'll get you back eventually, no matter the cost...

MASTERLIST | INFO

Platonic yandere fatui(plus the tsaritsa) thoughts? Doesn't matter if reader is young, teenager or adult lol

Once again going purely off vibes bc we don’t know much about most of them!

Just gonna write small excerpts for each of them but feel free to request more in-depth hcs for any of them! Scaramouche already has a full set here! 💕💕

Pierro is the strict father figure. What he says goes and will be obeyed without question. If he tells you to stay with one of the harbingers for the day then that’s where he expects to find you. When he gets to spend time with you himself though, he’s a lot softer and happy to do whatever activities you would like to

Capitano is like a second shadow. He doesn’t really interact with you face to face, preferring to stand nearby and watch over you like a guardian. The type of friend that scares off people who make you uncomfortable except 10x scarier

Columbina is the clingy best friend. She’s practically attached to your hip at all times and loves to drape herself over you at every opportunity. She gets super pouty when you pay more attention to others in her presence

Arlecchino is the doting older sister. She brushes your hair for you, she makes you breakfast, she escorts you if you’re going out anywhere. But she also likes to keep you on a strict routine and doesn’t take nicely to transgressions. It’s for your safety after all

Dottore is the scary cousin. The one you dread to spend time with because he’s always up to something and insists you help with his schemes. Sometimes he makes you sit and watch whilst he does autopsies on the recently deceased, and you could swear some of them look eerily familiar

Signora is the pampered friend. She likes to show you off by walking side by side with you. But not before she’s picked out what you’re wearing, and done your hair and makeup. She wants to be seen with you, but you have to match her standard. You have to show everyone why she’s the only one fit to stand at your side as your dearest friend

Pantalone is like your rich best friend that buys you whatever you desire. If you look at anything even a fraction of a second too long, Pantalone will have his wallet out before you can blink. He’s also definitely not above bribing people to stay away from you if he doesn’t like them hanging around

Sandrone is the smothering mum friend. She pampers you and loves to dress you up and just sit around with you. Doesn’t let you do anything yourself in fear of hurting yourself and insists on leaving everything to her puppets

Tartaglia is like the fun older brother. He already has experience looking after his younger siblings so you’ll be joining them. He likes to take you to fights to show off but won’t let you try incase you hurt yourself. He is fiercely over protective as well, anyone who dares to even look at you wrong can expect to be on the wrong end of his bow

The Tsaritsa is like an overprotective mother. She fears for your safety out in the big scary world, so she keeps you safe in the expanses of Snezhnaya where she and her trusted harbingers can watch over you

Homewrecker, husband-stealer villainess!

Idia is not going anywhere, you hear me?! You might be happy being the other woman, but I'm not happy with the pair of horns!

NOTE: I only write for female Reader, but everyone is welcome to read!

Inspired by @adrianasunderworld in this funny as hell post.

"To give someone a pair of horns" is to cheat on them. Also, Rook gets involved because he'd absolutely adore to be part of the drama.

— (⁠╬⁠☉⁠д⁠⊙⁠)⁠⊰⁠⊹ฺ

Idia knows he's not frozen like the others, but honestly, he feels like it. He feels like even his lungs, even his heart has stopped. All because of this cute-faced npc who forced her way into a romance route with him. If he could think about it, he'd think about that horror game with the same story, but right now his mind is blank.

He has reached the point of no return. Actually dying would just reinforce his fate.

Or, at least, is what he thought. Almost as if answering to his thoughts, there's a loud noise coming from the other side of the doors, followed by footsteps.

Then the doors are thrown open by none other than (Y/N), the Ramshackle Housewarden that the school affectionately tends to call "Prefect".

She's dressed to the nines in a breathtaking wedding gown, the skirt pooling around her like God-Tier CGI, the blue accents contrasting beautifully with the pearly white of the dress, the blue roses decorating her head in a crown making her look like Persephone herself. She'd look perfect, if it weren't for the tear streaks her make-up left behind.

Wait. Tear streaks?

The silence breaks with the Prefects loud, shrill screech, a sound no one has ever thought she, the usually soft spoken and gentle Prefect, would be capable of.

"HOMEWRECKER!"

Without stopping to breath, she walks forwards, looking angrier and angrier each step taken.

"How dare you, you conniving bitch?! How dare you steal my groom! ON OUR WEDDING DAY?!" she screams at Eliza, stopping in the middle of the way to point at... at Idia himself?! "And you! You good-for-nothing two-timer! How dare you leave me waiting at the altar?!"

"Young man, I am terribly disappointed!" Professor Crewel chides from behind her, and Idia finally notices the group that actually came in with her. "I did not give you permission to marry my daughter, my first and only daughter, for you to break her heart on her happiest day!"

"Big brother! How could you! Think of your child!" Ortho chimes in, and if Idia hadn't built tear tracks on the boy himself, he would believe firmly in his tears. "Little Meg would be so sad if her daddy just left for another woman!"

"Idia, what is the meaning of this?!" it's Eliza's turn to screech, turning to him with fury in her eyes. Idia stutters a few random letters, trying to form words, just as confused as she is.

Until it clicks.

Right. Fake relationship. How could he forget one of the most cliche tropes in romance's history?

"I... I... t-this isn't what it looks like!" he finally manages to say, trying to look as desperate as he can, which is not hard considering what his fate is in case this plan fails. "I can explain!"

"Is it because of my past with Rook?! "

"Young man, you're still hung up on that, despite being the only man I've ever approved for my daughter?"

"What?!" someone yells in the crowd, but the man in question promptly enters the play as if he was born for this moment alone.

"Monsieur, I have told you this already, but I shall say it again! My dear dove's happiness is the most important to me! If she has chosen you, then my heart shall settle!" What the fuck, why is Rook so good at improv?

"I-I know!" calm down, Idia, think of this as a rhythm game and keep the beat going! "I don't... I don't want this, but this villainess wouldn't listen!"

"Wait, so this woman is telling the truth?!"

"This woman?! THIS WOMAN?! You mean his true bride?!" (Y/N) steps closer, fat crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks, smudging her make-up even more. "You- you- you husband-stealer! Know your place! You come into my house, you steal my groom and the father of my daughter-"

"I see no child-"

"Do you think I'd bring my child to see my husband's mistress?!"

"Big sister, calm down, think of the baby! Your stress levels are dangerously high!"

"WHAT BABY?!"

"Monsieur Shroud, if you do not fix this situation, I shall be taking my belle back! Do not worry, the children will not grow without a father!"