Excuse me for saying so, but I did not think you would be the one take care of me in my illness Lord Scaramouche. Thank you, I am sincerely grateful.
tw: forced marriage, yandere, sickness
"You had better be," he says, not missing a beat. "Do you not think I have more important things to do?"
Despite the impatience in his voice, he stirs the rice porridge slowly, holding the filled spoon to your lips until you open obediently, taking in another bite of the physician-ordered bland mixture that had been the staple of your diet for the past few days.
You didn't expect to see him at all when you'd taken ill, when your mild headache had bloomed into an aching head, burning fever, and dizziness that you couldn't shake.
You certainly didn't expect him to shoo the attendants from the room as soon as he'd been told about your incident, having been found helplessly emptying the contents of your stomach in a hall, unable to even make it to the bath chamber.
Nor did you expect him to stroll up to the bed where you had sat, feeling your forehead for himself--hot, clammy--before ordering you to change into a night dress so that a physician could examine you.
And, of all things, you definitely didn't expect him to be at the forefront of your recovery.
Had he ever touched you this gently, with his hands pressing a cold cloth into your feverish skin?
Had he ever spoken so softly, asking you about your symptoms, which you were sometimes only able to half-answer in your continued weakness?
Yet now as you began to feel more yourself, you felt cognizant of his presence in a way that brushed aside the helplessness of illness--in a way that reminded you of your place.
And so you nod demurely to his words, acknowledging his sacrifices in the name of your health.
He stands, then, idly tucking in your blanket after leaving the tray with your porridge and your water by the bedside.
His eyes glance at the bowl, which is still warm. Now that you're sitting up, coherent, no longer mumbling in your fever-dreams, his voice has regained the dominant edge you've come to understand since you were pushed into marriage.
"I expect you to eat all of it. And do keep it down this time, will you?"
Summary: When your recurrent dreams about a puppet become out of hand, a reality check feels like the only way to get back to normalcy. Fate proves you wrong.
Pairing: Wanderer & gn!reader (post Irminsul), the relationship is heavily implied to be platonic
Content warnings: Reader is gender neutral, mentions of blood and murders but I don't go into details, slight angst, Wanderer is bad with feelings, platonic content
Word count: 7.2k | Soulmate AU
Comments: A special thank to my beta @ladyfocalors for always brainrotting with me about Genshin characters. We'll platonify the Genshin soulmate AU one work at the time /lh
It took you years to understand that your frequent lucid dreams about an Inazuman electricity-wielder leader were actually the memories of your soulmate.
To your parents' defense, every normal individual would have dismissed the idea. While your soulmate wearing an extravagant hat wasn’t impossible, your tales about a place shrouded in darkness and an Electro-user without a Vision sounded like a child's fantasy. There was no such thing in Teyvat.
You quickly got the reputation of an imaginative kid. Adults liked to ask you about your dreams.
"What a smart child you are!", they cooed once you finished recalling your visions. "You could write a storybook!"
Your younger self would shoot them the dirtiest glare they could muster. Unfortunately, adding that the protagonist was a puppet made hundreds of years ago was not the convincing argument you thought it was. To the layperson, your visions were nonsensical dreams.
But you knew what you saw. It felt real. Terribly, shockingly real. Most often that not, you woke up from these flashes with the taste of iron in your mouth, static filling your sight, your muscles locked into place. You were trapped in your own unresponsive body. Even your breath was stuck in your throat. But the worst part of your awakenings was the sticky feeling on your hands. No matter how many times you scrubbed, it lingered on your skin. You didn't know what it was at that time, just that it made you feel gross and that it would sometimes reappear if you washed your hands hard enough.
You learnt what blood was before you knew how to spell the color red.
When one is repeatedly told that they're wrong, they will come to believe it. You were no exception. As the years passed by, you pushed those fantasies in the back of your mind. The adults in your life must have been right. You were just a strange kid with gruesome dreams, that was all.
Despite knowing that they were figments of your vivid imagination, the sights of snow-covered plains and bloody massacres haunted you well into adulthood. They had grown more complex. Details you didn’t notice as a child seemed obvious now that you had more experience. You could also recall conversations better. That’s how you learnt the name of the body you inhabited. Well, it was more correct to say you learnt multiple names for them. Kabukimono, Kunikuzushi, Scaramouche, the Balladeer... It was like you could never make up your mind.
The puppet you temporarily inhabited was as elusive as the wind: no fixed name to call them and no face to match. They fled mirrors when they saw one, preventing you from seeing their appearance. The only thing you knew about them was their title: number Sixth of the Fatui Harbinger. A seat that was left vacant for centuries according to every Fatuus you asked.
Your constant daydreaming was annoying but manageable until you started having visions about Kunikuzushi taking over Sumeru. You saw them getting experimented on to become one with a robot, wincing in pain at the hands of a masked doctor, rambling about their birth-given right to access godhood, taunting a blonde traveler; a chain of events that could only make sense in a dream. The problem was that your reverie was affecting your daily life. You couldn’t go through a day without getting assailed by memories that weren’t yours. You had to stop halfway through any task, discussing became hard and sleep rarely came to you.
There was little you could do as you didn’t know what had worsened your visions. You were hoping it would go away by itself.
That was until a particularly haunting dream. As usual, you were but a spectator seeing through the Balladeer’s eyes. You saw a hand -their hand- reach for a chess piece, leaning forward as much as they could. Your blood went cold. They were about to fall over the edge of the platform! Your gaze darted everywhere. There was nothing on the distant ground that would break their fall. For the first time in your life, you realized that they could die. Scaramouche, the one you had observed for decades, could die.
You were the only one to realize how far they were leaning. They only had eyes for the violet pawn in front of them, begging and begging with a shaky voice. It had never sounded so frail, so raw with hurt and panic.
"Please, anything but the Gnosis!"
It’s not worth it! you tried to scream. Stop! You didn't know why this Gnosis was so important to them but it was nothing dying for. Alas, no matter how hard you tried to move your mouth, the body refused to answer to you. You were nothing but a witness of a tragic scene, a powerless ghost with a bleeding heart. Your throat was thick with emotions you were not allowed to express.
Your dream ended in a snap, quite literally. A tearing sound erupted from behind you before you were sent falling down, pain flaring in your back. You bit down a scream as the world turned to blurry shades of blue and fluttering black bangs. The increasing speed made your eyes water and your body burn. You clenched your teeth. The fall was inevitable. Maybe it made you a coward but you couldn't bear to see it. You didn’t want to see Kunikuzushi die. Muttering an apology to the stranger in your dreams, you squeezed your teary eyes shut.
The last thing you heard was a wet crushing sound, a mix between eggshells broken under the palm of your hand and a fruit being squashed. Your body jolted in your bed and you gagged, fighting the urge to throw up. You had never felt this sick. Not even when you dreamt of unfair massacres.
You sank to the floor, furiously wiping away the tears beading in the corner of your eyes. You couldn't do it anymore. You had to confront your dreaming problem. There was only one solution: if your brain was so adamant on obsessing over an imaginary character, you had to show it the harsh reality, to remind yourself that Kabukimono never existed.
Your trip to Sumeru was the most spontaneous project you ever planned. You were strolling through the busy streets of Sumeru city the very next day with barely enough money to get back to your nation. You had packed the bare minimum in your suitcase to carry it easily, meaning you wouldn’t be able to stay for more than just a few days.
That was, if you found a room for the night. You had no time to check what the usual prices were in the capital before leaving. Now that you were scouring the streets with your meager funds, unable to find a hotel within your budget, you were bitterly regretting your lack of foresight. You sighed. You supposed that the saying was right. Slow and steady wins the race.
As if it had felt your determination dwindling, the crushing sound echoed in your mind in response. You bit your lip, bile rising in your throat. You hadn't been able to forget about your last dream. It looped in your head like a broken record. Even if impulsively leaving your country was one of your worst ideas ever, the quicker you settled your daydream problem the sooner you'd be back to your normal life.
Your weary steps lead you to an indoor bazaar. The smell of fried food filled your nostrils, making your stomach growl. You winced. The small homemade sandwich you had earlier couldn't compete with the appeal of street food. Unfortunately you needed to save your funds for a room. You let your gaze wander in the crowded marketplace, trying to distract yourself from the appetizing smell. Colorful stalls were full of fresh fruits, potted flowers and intricate trinkets. If you stood on your toes, you could even see a small theater representation in the farthest part of the bazaar. It was a lively place that perfectly encapsulated Sumeru’s charm.
You were about to turn back when your eyes stopped on a blue silhouette near a candy stand. You didn't know how you missed them earlier. In the brown and green crowd, their traditional clothing and their ornamented Inazuman hat stuck out like a sore thumb. They were in deep discussion with the merchant. Turquoise fabric trailed behind them, floating in the wind.
Without a second thought, you cut through the crowd, never leaving the stranger from your sight. Your heart leaped in your chest when they left the small stall.
"Hey, you with the hat! Stop!" you yelled. To your dismay, the Inazuman did not even slow down. They must have been too far to hear you. Breaking into a sprint, you called again. "Hat guy!"
You breached the distance in a few seconds. Just as you were about to grab their shoulder, they turned around. A cold hand snatched your wrist, making you wince. When you looked at its owner, you were greeted with a deep scowl and narrowed indigo eyes.
"Don't." The man’s low voice warned you, his tone full of unspoken threats. You swallowed uncomfortably as your confidence melted away. He managed to be intimidating in spite petite stature and youthful appearance.
As he glared daggers at you, you were hit by a feeling you couldn’t quite place. You pressed your lips together, studying his messy black mullet and his glowing Anemo Vision. The word popped up in your head. Familiar. The stranger felt familiar.
Wiping the feeling of déjà-vu from your mind, you retreated your hand. "Sorry, I was just trying to get your attention."
"Well, now you have it," he huffed. Annoyance was written on his face. He crossed his arms. "What do you want?"
A good question, but not one you had an answer to. Running after the man was a spur of the moment decision.
Self-awareness striked you like a thunderbolt. Why were you even doing this? Your goal was to cure your daydreaming, not to throw yourself headfirst into the rabbit hole nor to annoy a stranger with the tales of an imaginary character.
He clicked his tongue. "Hurry. I don't have all day."
You huffed. It was true that you were taking too much time to gather your thoughts but he didn’t have to be rude about it.
"I'm looking for someone,” you said tentatively. It was the closest you could get from the truth without annoying him. Considering his foul mood, the stranger would have walked away if you told him you were looking for the lack of existence of Kunikuzushi, the Sixth Harbinger, the person who tried to become an Archon, someone that only existed in your mind.
The man didn't answer, encouraging you to continue with a movement on the head. His black bangs flew in the light breeze. Now that you had a clearer view of his face, the man seemed more bored than irritated. He wanted the conversation to be over with but he still had the patience to hear you out. This realization gave you the courage you needed to talk again.
"Their clothes are quite similar to yours, but they're red and black. They also have a hat. A huge one." You opened your arms in emphasis.
He scrunched his brows together, looking at you like you were an idiot. "Right. Because the length of their hat is the most important detail you could give me," he deadpanned.
You fight the urge to sigh. "I wasn't done. I don't know much about them, but they're linked to the Fatui." The stranger's eyes narrowed in suspicion. He was back to glaring at you, his face closed. Unsettled by this sudden tension, you quickly added. "Probably. I'm still not sure about that." There was no Sixth Fatui Harbinger, after all. Your brain had made it up.
"Of course." His voice was drier than earlier. What little interest he had in your discussion had melted at the mention of the Fatui. You scrunched your brows. You swore you could read another emotion than ire in his eyes, even if you didn’t know what. "Anything else I should know about that... Friend of yours?"
You racked your brain for more details. There was a lot to say about the person in your dream. Their lack of heart, their coup attempt in Sumeru, their bloody killings, the experimentations they underwent... Nothing you could talk about in public without looking crazy, in sum. The only thing you could still mention was...
"Their name is Scaramouche."
The man went rigid. "What did you say?" he gawked, his eyes wide with shock.
"Scaramouche. I think that's their name?" Truthfully, they were given so many names that it probably wasn't their real one. But it was the one that came up most in your dreams.
As if it caught onto the tense atmosphere, the wind abruptly stopped blowing. You barely noticed it, focused on the horror shining in the man's eyes. He couldn't believe what you had just said. His piercing eyes analyzed every inch of you with a newfound distrust.
“Nobody should be able to-” He interrupted himself with a gasp. Recognition flashed across his face. "Wait. You...!"
His face went from surprise to disgust in the blink of an eye. You had barely the time to react before he pulled his hat down over his head, his scowl peeking from behind the rim.
"Of course fate would string something like this..." He let out a bitter laugh. "Has it ever made anything easy for me?"
You watched as crossed his arms, lifting his head to glare at you as if you had purposely wronged him. You tried to appease him by apologizing. "Sorry, did I say something wrong?"
Despite your question, you knew you had done nothing worth this cold attitude. You didn’t know why he was overreacting, why he was looking at you like dirt under his soles. It’s as if he was personally offended by your description of the Balladeer. You blinked as pieces fell into place. An Inazuman with a strange hat and dark hair, just like the one you were looking for. Could it be…?
"Is that you? Are you Scaram—"
The man turned around before you could finish your sentence, the blue fabric tied to his hat smacking you in the face. You yelped in pain.
"Don’t use this name." You couldn't see what kind of expression he was making but his flat tone told you enough.
You were standing in front of the protagonist of your dreams.
Reality shattered around you. There were only two reasons for your dreams to be visions of the past. You either were a seer —which was unlikely considering you had no elemental affinity— or you were using your soulmate link. Realization sank in. You had a soulmate. Everything finally clicked together: why you had Scaramouche's memories, why he recognized you, why you never stopped having those dreams… It was because the universe had deemed you a perfect fit.
Your eyes burned with unshed tears. You were not an anomaly without a soulmate, like you were led to believe. You just didn't pay attention to the signs.
"Wait a minute," you gasped. No matter how happy you were about your discovery, it came a lot of terrible implications. "Does it mean that everything is real? The Fatui, the taking over Sumeru part, everything ?"
Kunikuzushi immediately clammed up. Not even bothering to look at you, he said without a trace of emotion. "This conversation is over."
Strong wind currents flared all around you with him acting as the epicenter of the small storm he invoked. You stared at him with wide eyes. He was getting away!
"Please!"
You grabbed his sleeve and tugged hard, adrenaline pumping through your veins. The man gave you the dirtiest glare from above his shoulder as the miniature hurricane intensified. But you didn't let him go. You sank your nails deeper into his arm.
"Listen to me!” you said through gritted teeth. “I'm not gonna pretend I know everything about you because that's not true. I only know glimpses of you. Parts of your past that don't make any sense."
You closed your eyes as the memories flooded your mind. The Gnosis, the laboratory, the crushing sound as he fell down... You didn't understand what those events meant to him. What kind of story they told. It was like you were in front of an incomplete puzzle where all edge pieces went missing. It was impossible to get the big picture no matter how many combinations you tried.
That didn’t mean the little bits of memories you had taught you nothing about him.
"You were hurt. That much is certain."
Your words only rekindled the fire of his ire. He bared his teeth at you. “Huh?! Who do you think you are, talking to me like that?” He stabbed your chest with his finger, forcing you to take a step back. “Seeing glimpses of my past doesn’t give you the right to assume things about me, you worm.”
"But it’s not an assumption. You lived a very long and lonely life. A bloody one too.” You briefly wondered if contrary to you, he had grown accustomed to seeing his hands covered in crimson. You let out a shaky exhale. “But you cannot talk about your life to anyone. No one would believe you if you talked about the Sixth Harbinger of the Fatui or what you were doing centuries ago."
You had the experience to back yourself up. You still weren't sure what the Fatui thing was all about but if you could barely believe it after seeing his memories firsthand, no one else could.
"See, you’re just assuming things again out of pity," Scaramouche snapped. He tore himself from your grasp, sneering. "Guess what? I don't need you to feel sorry about me."
You shook your head. "I wasn't about to."
You were never going to forget the feeling of blood on your hands, the crackling of electricity as you saw someone charred alive, the coolness of a cadaver against your skin. You couldn't bring yourself to feel sorry for this man. It wasn't what someone like him sought.
Pity was for those forced to live under the ruling of unfairness, not able to object to its cruel laws. Forgiveness was for those that were mothered by this tyrant and dedicated their life to preach its teachings. For now, the Balladeer deserved none of them.
When you opened your eyes, Scaramouche had tipped his hat down, obscuring his expression. His grip on his crossed arms was so tight you thought he was going to break his fingers.
"You don't understand. You can't understand."
His voice was lower than earlier, almost like a growl.
It wasn't enough to scare you.
"You're right," you admitted. "I cannot understand you. But I really want to."
Maybe it was because you knew him on a deeper level than a stranger, but something had changed. You were starting to notice it. The hurt he masked behind a veil of fury. Until his words, you thought he was just an eternally angry man, bitter at the world and at his fate. Now, you wondered if he was just someone who lived through too much. Someone who was ready to beg and kill himself for a glimpse of a better future.
He snorted, disbelief written across his face. “A human like you, understanding someone like me? Don’t make me laugh.” He leaned towards you. You fought the urge to take a step back, withholding his stare with all of the courage you could summon. His mouth contorted into a twisted smile. “You’ve seen what I am capable of. Not only are you fundamentally unable to relate to a fraction of my existence, you’re also unable to withstand it. Understanding me will only bring you trouble.”
“You already do.” Scaramouche didn't utter a word, turning his back to you. You didn't let it get to you, instead squeezing your hand against your chest. "I spent my life stuck with visions I couldn't control. Seeing your memories at random moments robbed me from precious moments with the people I love. From enjoying a normal life, one where I don’t have to fear falling asleep."
Your hands were shaking. Whether from anger or sorrow, you didn’t know. Scaramouche was the one assuming things. You may only be a human, one similar to thousands that have come before you, but you knew how it felt to be misunderstood. How it felt not to belong. Nobody had believed you for decades, nor understood why you were so uncomfortable when it came to sleeping. Even your friends couldn’t wrap their heads about your constant worry of getting lost in the daydreaming. You might as well have been from a different species.
You took a deep exhale. Your anger faded away as quickly as it came. "I feel close to you, no matter how strange it sounds. You've always been a small part of me.” Determination seeped through your tone. “So I won't be able to move on as long as I don't know what's going on with my soulmate."
Soulmate. The word rolled strangely on your tongue. It was the first time you were saying it out loud.
Scaramouche gagged at your word choice. "I'm not looking for a lover." Disgust laced his voice. Seems like you were not the only one who felt weird about the whole situation.
You shook his concern with a wave of the hand. "Me neither. I'm looking for an explanation. A timeline in a chronological order, if possible."
Your attempt at a joke fell flat as silence fell between the two of us. Your face shifted into a frown. Had you been too insistent?
"It's alright if you find the situation strange," you said, trying to save the conversation. "I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that you saw glimpses of my life. This is quite embarrassing...."
You didn't have the most exciting life but there were private moments you wanted nobody to see. Especially not your soulmate.
He shot you an uninterested look, examining the dirt beneath his nails. "I could not care less about your mundane life."
You blinked. You didn't expect him to get interested in your life as much as you were in his, but was that supposed to be comforting? Unsure how to respond, your face contorted into a polite smile.
None of you said a word after that. You didn't dare move either. Weariness taking over you, you watched as the back of his hair fluttered in the breeze, joining the hypnotizing dance of the blue ribbons. The sound of animated conversations and the ringing of distant bells filled the otherwise tense silence.
You were about to leave when Scaramouche let out the heaviest sigh known to mankind. He finally turned to you, uttering a single word.
"Wanderer."
Whatever you were expecting him to say, it wasn't that. "Come again?"
He rolled his eyes but repeated it anyway. "Wanderer. That’s my name. Not Scaramouche or whatever name you heard in my memories."
You felt your entire face lit up. You could recognize an olive branch when you saw one. "I won't call you anything else, I promise!"
He sighed at your sudden excitement, shaking his head. You were starting to recognize when he was truly irritated and when he was acting annoyed by habit. This time, the look in his eyes didn't match his bored pout. It was not soft by any means, but he did not glare daggers at you anymore.
"I still don’t think someone like you can handle the tale of centuries of existence.” He clicked his tongue. “That being said, I suppose it would be entertaining to see you try. Come to the entrance of Sumeru city in two hours."
Your eyes widened. You thought that you wouldn’t get more than his name, and now he gave you the opportunity to explain his life ? You had half the mind to pinch yourself awake.
"Don't be late Wanderer!"
He scoffed, readjusting the position of his ginormous hat. “If I were, you'd scream my name in the streets of Sumeru until you get ahold of me. No thanks."
"I wouldn't do that!"
"Oh, really?" A smug smirk took place on his lips. He cleared his throat before taking a high-pitched voice. " 'Hey, you with the hat, stop right there ! I really want to talk to you! Stop, I say !' "
You gasped in shock. "So you actually heard me! Do you not stop when someone calls you?"
"I do. I just don't typically talk to pipsqueaks."
His grin deepened at seeing your offended expression. He even let out a short laugh. You playfully punched the cheeky bastard on the shoulder, not putting much force in the blow.
Wanderer didn't budge. He instead grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand away from him. His eyebrows were pinched together in irritation. "Don’t think you can punch me and get out unscathed, kid."
Despite his words, his grasp on you was light, as if he was careful not to hurt you. It was easy to slip from his hold. He was entertaining you, you realized. Considering how harsh he had been when you first had tried to touch him, a light scold was nothing.
Mimicking a fighting stance, you started shifting your weight from left to right.
"You're the one who's gonna bite the dust! I can knock out someone with a single blow!" You punched the air to demonstrate, a smile blooming on your face. "I can take anyone in a fight!"
Wanderer pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated by your playful attitude. "Celestia above, not another Childe..."
You pouted at his words. "Are you calling me a child again? I'll let you know that I'm a fully-fledged adult!" You may not be as old as the immortal puppet but you were no kid by human standards. You were only teasing Wanderer because you needed something light after your heavy talk. He couldn’t base his whole perception of you on a speech stemming from your sleep-deprived self…
He clicked his tongue in his mouth before looking at you directly in the eyes. "You talk big for someone I've seen fall in the stairs several times."
Horror washed over you. Every little embarrassing moment you lived flooded your mind. The fact that Wanderer had seen some of them sent warmth pooling in your cheeks.
"You said you didn't care about my life!" you said, absolutely mortified.
"It doesn't mean watching you was not mildly entertaining. Why would I focus on boring Fatui politics talk when I could be the witness to the mess of your teenage years?” Your expression was decomposing by the second, to his delight. "I especially liked it when—"
You cut him off with a nervous laugh. "Alright, alright, I get it. Aren't you busy?"
His gaze fell into a small pouch at his sides. "I do, actually. Buer must be looking for me."
"Buer? Who's that?" You didn't remember hearing this name in his memories.
"The Dendro Archon," he said like it was the most obvious thing on Teyvat.
"...Right. Of course.”
Maybe you were a bit too optimistic about his ability to open up to you.
Wanderer couldn't believe himself. Three betrayals should have been enough to teach him that closeness only brought pain. Whether because of misunderstandings, lies or the unpredictable and unescapable scythe of Death, the ending was always the same: he was fated to end up hurt. Alone. Cursing himself for loving too much.
He snorted. He knew all of that and yet here he was, wrapping his job up before his meeting with you. How pathetic.
Part of him was not surprised about this new twist of events. Fate liked to throw him in the most ironic situations. He was currently going on errands for Buer, the same Archon he had tried to supplant her months ago and who took him prisoner. Randomly meeting his soulmate in the middle of the streets was not the most unexpected thing to have happened to him. Far from it. At that point, he was surprised it hadn’t happened earlier.
When Wanderer entered the sanctuary of Surasthana, the Archon was sitting on her swing, humming to herself. The melancholic tune didn’t sound familiar but the lyrics in old Sumerian sang the tale of a love long gone. If he rolled his eyes at the song choice, he was polite enough to wait until the end of the song before clearing his throat.
Buer perked up, finally noticing him. She jumped from the swing and greeted him with a small wave.
"Hat guy!" He cocked an eyebrow at the oh so creative sobriquet, making her giggle. "I’m glad to see you. I was starting to think that you had forgotten about me."
"As if my memory would get faulty. I was held up by someone." Holding his hat to pin it into place, he sat on the lush grass. Reunions with Buer always took a while. He might as well make himself comfortable.
Familiar curious green eyes landed on him. "Was it a friend from the Akademiya?"
He rolled his eyes. "I had never seen them before."
He had expected this flow of questions. Buer was very invested in his relationships with other people– well, rather his lack of. She had made him participate in social events like the Interdarshan championship to socialize. She even enrolled him in the Akademiya. Her argument was that it would help him understand humanity better, as well as himself.
The results were arguably mixed. Wanderer admittedly tolerated people a bit better than before. They were predictable creatures but they could be entertaining. Sometimes. On the other hand, he had not grown close to anyone since he started attending classes. Sure, some students followed him around, gushing about the mysterious “hat guy” and throwing a birthday party for him, but he would not call them friends. They were classmates at most. It was for the best: it didn’t matter if Buer claimed he was progressing regarding socialization, talking to him was an experience he wished on no one.
She didn’t seem to agree with him. Excitement and pride shone in her eyes. "Every stranger is a friend in potentiality. That is what makes new meetings so exciting: you might be talking to your new favorite person in Teyvat," she beamed, taking place near him.
"If you say so."
Friendship was a human concept. Something he could neither fully understand or get. Melodramatic speeches and lengthy explanations meant nothing to him. That is why Wanderer didn’t try to counter her argument. There was no point in talking about something he knew nothing about.
What he did know was that Buer was wrong. You were no stranger to him.
His gaze fell to his hands. The first time he had seen your memories, Scaramouche had thought he was defective. He had never been able to dream until then. His creator didn’t see the interest in allowing him to do so. The only reason he knew what dreams were was because Niwa liked to recount his when they worked together in the forge.
One second he was lying down in the laboratory of the Fatui, the other he was in a small bed. Piles of toys were scattered around him, decorating what seemed to be a child’s bedroom. Why on Teyvat was he here? Scaramouche tried to move his arm but it did not move an inch. He cursed under his breath. For some reason, his body refused to listen to him. If it was Il Dottore’s scheme, the man was dead.
Without a warning, his head turned. He was greeted by the reflection of a small child in the mirror of the wardrobe. You.
His mind had been pure madness when he had come back to his senses. He had the time to zap five machines before the Doctor arrived, complaining that his research was being destroyed. The Tsaritsa, the stars, fate itself... He had cursed everything he could think of for giving him a soulmate. There was no other reason behind his sudden ability to “dream”. Fate had decided to intertwine your destinies together. The thought only made him more angry.
He couldn't be mad at the child you were, though. You were barely five. No matter how much of an unfeeling person he was, Scaramouche was not about to hold the situation against someone as young as you. A small part of him, one he had tried to bury for centuries, had even ached to hold your chubby hands in his when he had seen you reach for your reflection.
With the impossibility of breaking a soulmate bond, the Fatui Harbinger had been forced to watch you as you grew. He learnt about your favorite color, the school subject you liked best, the names of your childhood friends, the color of your bedroom, all the details of your ordinary life. He was a spectator to mundane moments, to victories and horrific failures alike.
You had transformed from a kid with shining eyes to a determined adult before his eyes.
If Buer was right and that all friends started as strangers, it meant that you would never be able to grow close to him. You already knew him.
Wanderer plucked a few strands of grass, watching how they fell to the ground. No, hoping for you two to be friends was wishful thinking. You had seen the atrocities he had done as a Fatui Harbinger. Once he filled the gap in your knowledge, you would not want anything to do with him. His erasure from existence didn’t excuse the actions of his past life.
He would not blame you. He deserved your hate. At the end of the day you were another name on the endless list of his victims. Because of your soulmate link, you had lived your entire life plagued by visions you didn't understand, othered because of things out of your control. You were the proof that Wanderer brought suffering just by existing. That he wasn't a fundamentally good person, like the one Buer and Traveler insisted he was. You had every right to loathe him.
That was why he accepted your offer. If he explained everything to you, if he confirmed that every "dream" of yours was true, you would move on. You would forgive Fate for giving you such an unloving person as a soulmate. Maybe you would even want to settle down with someone else... At the end of the day, you'd be free from the chain of destiny. So would he.
The world would let him do a good thing, for a change.
"While it's true that talking it out will appease both of your minds, you shouldn't only see them as a way to atone for the sins of your past life," Buer intervened.
Wanderer gave her an unimpressed look, throwing away the rest of the grass strands. "One day, you will have to answer for all of those breaches of privacy before the General Mahamatra."
"Talking about your thoughts with someone else can help you sort them out and gain new insight. I felt like you could benefit from it."
Her growing smile told him that she didn't feel sorry for reading his mind without his consent. He huffed. She was lucky he had grown accustomed to this habit of hers.
She hummed as she stepped in front of him. "Agreeing to a meeting to ease your guilty conscience is not a bad thing in itself. The problem is that you’re assuming that they can only hate you."
“What other reaction could they have?” The answer appeared in his mind before he finished his sentence. “Pity?” Pronouncing the word made his insides hurl. Wanderer would rather feel your wrath than your pity. The former didn’t feel as disgusting as the other;
Buer shook her head. “That’s not it either. It’s alright if you don’t yet understand Wanderer, you will see in due time.”
He fought the urge to roll his eyes. He preferred it when she used complex metaphors. At least he had the opportunity to understand what was going on in her mind, contrary to when she used vague words of wisdom like a drowsy prophet.
"If I can give you one more piece of advice, you should give this relationship a chance." Seeing his scowl of disgust, she explained herself. "I'm not telling you to pursue a romance with them. Just don't assume that tonight is the only time you meet. Keep your mind and your heart open."
Despite her smile, she had a serious look in her eyes. It was the face of wisdom in all of its assured glory. Wanderer closed his eyes. It was easy for him to forget she was not a young child, like the one he took care of all those centuries ago.
"There is a reason why they're your soulmate," Buer said. "Don't you want to discover why?"
"Someone like them has nothing in common with me."
Your memories told the tale of a simple life. In an ideal world, a normal person like you wouldn't have been paired up with him. How it happened in this one was a mystery. If he was inclined to pity others, Wanderer would feel bad for you. Being his soulmate only brought you experiences that you couldn’t talk about to anyone.
“You cannot talk about your life to anyone. No one would believe you if you talked about the Sixth Harbinger of the Fatui or what you were doing centuries ago.” Their hands shook as they lifted their head to meet his gaze. He stilled. He had expected to read loneliness and fire in their eyes. He only found the glow of loneliness. It was the same he had seen in your reflection all those years ago.
Wanderer hid his face behind his hand. He supposed he was wrong. He could see a few ressemblances between you and him. That didn’t necessarily mean you would become friends.
"Don't expect too much from this meeting. I only plan on retelling my story, not on learning more about them."
Gentle hands covered his, pulling them away from his face before lightly squeezing them.
“You don’t need to. You already know them better than anyone else.” Buer's voice was as soft as her expression.
He opened his mouth but no snarky counter-argument came to his mind. From what little insight Wanderer had gained on friendship over the course of his life, sharing experiences with a potential friend wasn’t enough. You also had to learn about the other person's personality, their taste, the little things they did… Such a process was too much work for a relationship that would eventually decay. But the man already knew you, more intimately than any person ever would.
If to be friends was to learn about someone, he had become yours a long time ago.
Wanderer fought the urge to shield his face behind his hat. It would be as good as admitting to Buer her words had struck a chord. No way he would embarrass himself like that.
“You're not going to give up, are you?" he sighed.
“While I do hope you will form a bond with them, I will not hold it against you if it doesn’t happen.” She took some time to think, trying to come up with a convincing imagery. “Fate is a tricky concept. It steers you in a specific direction but it cannot force you to follow it. No matter what, you can always make your own way.”
He let the words sink in as he laid down on the cool grass. From the Sanctuary, he could hear the entire city’s hustle and bustle. The sound of the streets mixed with the chirping of the birds and the rustle of the wind through the branches.
He felt Buer sitting next to him. Her voice interrupted his quiet reverie, sounding cheekier than usual.
"Don't I deserve something in return for my good advice?"
Her eyes were focused on the small pouch hanging at his side. He had forgotten about it, their conversation had distracted him. Wanderer shook his head in defeat. The Archon didn’t need to use her mind-reading powers to know about the actions of her subjects.
“If you want to be paid for giving lectures, you should think about becoming a teacher at the Akademiya.”
“I would deprive someone from the joy of educating young minds.”
His lips curled into a grin. “Right. Poor them.”
Feeling her gaze on him, he relented. He unclipped the package from his belt and gave it to her, not bothering to sit back up. Buer tried to open it carefully. It was so full that in spite of her efforts, morsels of candied Ajilenakh nuts spilled on the ground.
Wanderer frowned at the sight of the mess. Something churned inside him. If he had known it would be wasted, he wouldn’t have bought so much food.
“Be more careful,” he chastised her. “It’s expensive.”
Buer shot him a perplexed look. He scoffed in response, averting his gaze.
"I didn't buy them. The merchant gave free samples to bystanders and he couldn't take no for an answer."
Another white lie from him. He had noticed that Buer didn't have much candy left and since he had to go to the Bazaar anyway, he had decided to buy some. He watched as she inspected a piece of candy, rolling it between her fingers. He didn't get why she was head over heels for those disgustingly sweet nuts but he had to keep her in good spirits. Otherwise, she might decide to lock him back in his cell. That and seeing her smile so much sent warmth running in his chest.
Her eyes crinkled, amused. "A free sample? How nice," she said, popping one of the delicacies in her mouth. He supposed there was no fooling the Archon of Knowledge. She pointed at him. "Your friend hasn't had the opportunity to try food from Sumeru, have they? You could bring them to Lambad’s and keep some of the Ajilenakh nuts to snack on."
“We have other things to do than distract ourselves with culinary tourism.”
“It’s not a distraction! See it as a bonding experience that will allow you to grow closer.”
He arched a brow, unimpressed. “As if I needed something like this to become their friend.”
He stopped after his own sentence. He blinked, not believing what he had just said.
Wanderer didn't know how he ended up in this situation. Truly. He was never one to let Fate decide for him. He defied it at each opportunity, fighting with all he had. This shouldn't have been any different. He was a traveler, an outcast, an outsider. He had no use for a soulmate– a lover. Especially not a human one, one that would be gone in a blink of his immortal life.
He had no use for a lover, but he supposed that if he had to befriend a single person in the world, it may as well be you.
If you liked this work, please reblog and leave a comment or an ask!
hihi! may i suggest the 2nd years’ reaction to a teasing but easily flustered darling? they’re like a mix of a hiyakasudere (teasedere) and a dandere. long story short, it’s kinda like “oooo you want to kiss me so bad aha” to “WAIT WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO CLOSE” kinda thingy + don’t forget to take care of yourself! don’t forget to drink water and get some rest! :)
hoooly shit this has been in my drafts for so long and i finally had a sudden spark of inspiration to finally finish it. i'm so sorry anon you've waited a terribly long time
now, for the moments where your yandere harem is not-so-yandere and relatively normal-looking
you might like: yan! academy genshin second years
you thought that you'd get to share a nice lunch with your dear friend albedo after he invited you to a nice secluded spot for the both of you to spend lunch together. the food was definitely nice— this is albedo we're talking about after all— but you couldn't help but find yourself pouting. all he had been doing all lunch was sketch away at his papers.
hmph. you think. shouldn't he give me a bit of his attention?
hoping to sneak some sort of reaction out of him, you inch closer to his drawings. he’s never had a problem with you looking at his unfinished work and yet his strong but gentle hand reach out and firmly root you to your position. “don’t move,” he mutters. and then a long period of silence follows, but this time his eyes study every inch of your face and body.
"don't you think you're starin' at me a bit too much?" you croon, flashing one of your mischievous grins at the ever stoic student with the hope of alleviating some of the awkardness you feel. "someone might think you have a crush on me.”
“maybe i do,” he hums. “what about it?” it’s so nonchalant that it’d pass through anyone’s ears as a joke, but you’re so hyper-aware of everything right now that the blush starts rising to your cheeks, gaping at him with an open mouth.
“wh– what?!” you hate how squeaky your voice is.
“oh nothing,” he resumes back to his sketching before he gives you a glance over and smirks at you. “don’t you think you’re blushing too much? someone might think you have a crush on me.”
“a– albedo!”
no one knows how xiao lets you get away with how overly touchy you are. you’re not exactly what they’d imagine to be hanging around xiao. you smile too much, flirt and tease with people, and you drag the boy around to places almost embarassing to be seen at. but xiao follows anyway. one moment he’ll go: “hmph. and why should i?” but when you pout and just whine about going with another boy, he’s immediately latching onto your arm.
you’re aware of how differently xiao treats you and to be honest, you’re a little bit smug. you like to exert your power over him time to time. pushing a little too close or trailing your fingers up his surprisingly toned muscles just to tease him.
“you’re shameful,” he’d huff and look away, but you’re delighted at how his porcelain face turns into a bright cherry shade and continue teasing him anyway.
xiao is aware of this power you have over him, but he doesn’t stop you. he likes this warm and fluttery feeling you overwhelm him with. still, it’d be nice if he could change the tables for a moment and make you stutter and blush instead.
this musing of his is shelved away in his mind until an impromptu study date comes up. poring over your textbooks for the upcoming quiz, you snack away on some nuts to help you concentrate. when xiao looks up, he sees some crumbs on you’re too focused to notice. absentmindedly, he reaches over the table and slides a finger to wipe away the crumbs. you take this the wrong.
“wh- what are you doing?!” you squeak, face blaring red. “we’re studying, you know!”
he hushes you. “hold still.”
he brings the finger to his mouth and licks up the food, confused at your shock and embarassment but no questioning it. he sits back down and resumes his studies while you spend the rest of the session covering your face with a book and fanning your face. xiao remains ever oblivious as he focuses on passing the test, unaware that his wish has already been granted.
kazuha takes your flirtatious advances seriously, because well, romance and love must be taken seriously. somewhere in the back of his mind he can sense that you’re just joking... still, let kazuha delude himself for a tiny bit.
all flirty remarks of yours are responded with sincere and genuine exclamations of love which has you blushing and running away with every encounter with him. you don’t even know why you bother anymore, but perhaps it’s the urge to see the ever so calm and serene kazuha lose his composure because of you.
it’s for the sake of blushy kazuha! you pump yourself up before pushing open the classroom doors. the boy idles by the window sill, away from the chatter of your classmates. your presence immediately has him perking up and smiling at you from across the room. you take a deep breath and close your eyes.
be still, be confident. you’re gonna get him today!
“hi kazu~” you grin, sauntering over to him with brimming confidence. “your most favorite person is here!” you open your mouth, planning to pour out another set of cheesy pick-up lines and compliments, but kazuha reacts quicker.
“indeed, you are here right now,” he says in nigh reverence. he takes a stray lock from your hair and twirls it around his finger. “i’ve missed you over the weekend, you know?” he kisses it and smiles at you. the morning sun lights his face aglow, and the wind brushing past the window makes his hair flutter along with your heart. “oh, [your name]? you’re redder than a maple leaf.”
steam puffs out of your ears at being called out, and you stumble back, glaring at him. “i-i’ll get you one day, kazu! i swear i will!” and when you make a tactical retreat, kazuha only laughs to himself before fondly kissing the finger that held your lock of hair so tenderly.
you honestly thought that thoma would be the easily flustered type, but he's really not. it's always the same reaction out of him: you flirt, he stops, stares, and his lips crack into a brilliant yet amused smile. your charms, that have flawlessly worked on both me and women, are received like an elder brother witnessing their sibling's antics.
it makes your blood boil! really! the audacity of this guy to just shrug off your remarks when you're already growing desperate to get a reaction out of him! you up your charisma, bat your lashes more, but no, nada! it makes you a bit insecure— juuuust a little. is your allure starting to wane?
you're sulkily poking at your lunchbox, too caught up with your little dilemma to actually eat. thoma notices from across you, and his brows pinch together in concern as he regards your expression.
"is everything okay, [your name]?" he asks softly, placing a gentle hand on yours to let you know he's there. "you don't seem to have an appetite today. is the lunchbox i made not up to your liking?"
you might be sulking, but archon forbid you make thoma think his cooking wasn't up to standard! you frantically shake your head, before settling down and letting out a sigh.
"thoma~" you let out a whine, grasping his hand on yours with both of yours. you pout as prettily as you can, letting the lips you meticulously glossed this morning do their job, bat your lashes, and doing everything and anything you can in your power to turn it up a hundred times more. "be honest with me. do you find me pretty at all?"
his eyes widen at the question. "o– of course, i do, [your name]! there's no one in this school who doesn't find you attractive." something dark flickers in his eyes for a moment as he mutters lowly. "believe me."
that shadow disappears as soon as it comes, and squeezes your hands reassuringly. "more than just being attractive, i like you for who you are." his soft green eyes crease downward in a fond look, and you think your heart is racing a hundred miles per second. "i'm here with you, aren't i?"
you do your utmost best to respond, but your tongue fails you. your brain has short-circuited, and you can barely hear anything than the pounding of your heart and the muffled worried calls of your name. you slump in your seat, steam coming out of your brain and dizzy from the heartburn. you are defeated at your game.
there are advantages and disadvantages to flirting with the scaramouche. when you shoot him one of your teasing remarks or sidle a bit too close to his side, the people around you look at you like you're crazy.
and you are. you're crazy obsessed with his reactions, how sardonic and dry-humor they are but so cute and feisty. so what if his glares keep getting scarier and scarier, if his lips curl up in a sneer whenever he sees you. you don't waste a single moment in trying to get a reaction out of him!
"hey, scara~♪" your head pops out from the corner while he's busy with his locker, and glances at you before resuming with his work. "you're as cute as ever as always!"
"and i can see that you still insist on being annoying," he says plainly, before slamming his locker shut and fixing you with his signature dirty glare. "when will you stop bothering me, or do i have to put up with your nonsense until graduation?"
"only if you'll have me~"
"idiot," he scoffs. "to be disturbing me like this day in and day out. you have some nerve, [last name]. are you really that keen on breaking my peace? or—" he studies your face carefully, before a smug smile breaks out on his lips. "are you really that obsessed with me?"
your mind blanks out at the sudden accusation and you can feel the heat rising in your face. "o–obsessed with you? don't be absurd! i– you– you're not the only one, you know! don't get too full of yourself." your face reddens further as his smirk only grows, and you stomp your foot childishly. "believe me!"
"tut, tut, [last name]. you won't get further in this society if you wear your hearts on a sleeve like that. but don't worry." he lifts your chin up with a slender finger, and as much as that knowing grin of his is humiliating, you can't help but appreciate how alluring the expression is on him. "since you're so obsessed with me, i don't mind letting a commoner like you live under my care when the time calls for it."
Lilia thinks you’re beautiful.
If someone was to see you now, they would think him mad.
You? Beautiful?
Surely, someone like him who lived for centuries has seen beauties no mortal man can hope to compare in one lifetime.
You are no royal.
You are no warrior.
Nor do you posses powers of the greatest mages.
Yet you are beautiful in his eyes.
What was status, beauty, and power? If not something temporary?
You have something greater than all that.
You are observant which most oft over look.
You are kind.
You have heart.
You have empathy—something that surprises even him at times with how strong you feel.
Lilia looks at you as you lay next to him.
He pulls at your cheek, shaking slightly at the smile and slight drool you give as you continue to sleep.
How charming.
How adorable.
Beautiful.
“I love you, sweet one.”
Woke up today and went “wow, how sexy of me to drool.” And “you know what? Lilia would find it cute (and never let me live this down).” 😂💞💃So this came to be lolol 🫶
The greatest self-love is your favorites loving you unconditionally 🥰❤️🔥💝
Scaramouche with a Child!Sibling!Reader
You paint your big brother's nails.
Strictly platonic. Fem reader. Spoilers for Scara's real name. Nail salon vocabulary has links for examples.
Even though you're the younger sister of the big bad Scaramouche, you were pretty timid and quiet.
You cared for your big brother, you wanted the absolute best for him. He cared for you, and took you along with him to find a home in the fatui.
Unlike your brother, you didn't get any special training. You never became a fatui harbinger. Kunikuzushi changed, but not around you.
He holds you dear to him, his precious baby sister. Scaramouche tries so hard to shelter you from this stupid evil world.
Even though you're around 10–13, you paint nails without any flaws. People would see you with different, beautiful, exotic, creative nails, basically changing every week.
You decided to own a small business in Inazuma to earn Mora, even though you don't need any because of your brother's work (And considering your young age).
When Scaramouche obtained the Inazuma archon's gnosis, he fled to your nail shop to tell you that he doesn't have much time to stay.
You heard the door to your nail salon open. "Ah... we're closed—" You looked up from your last customer's hand, which you were still holding. There stood your big brother.
You smiled. "Just a few minutes, I'm almost done," You reassured him, and continued working. Scaramouche looked at you with soft eyes, then glared at the customer, making sure they know how much he hates them for taking up your time.
Scaramouche sat down on the sofa.
When you finished, your customer handed you the Mora and took off. You sat down next to your big brother.
"What happened today?" You almost whispered, looking up at him. Your big brother rest his arm behind you on the couch casually. "I've obtained the gnosis."
...Huh? Your brother has the gnosis belonging to your creator? "We don't have much time. We better go soon, around midnight." He stared at the clock in the room. 9:32 pm.
You looked down at his hand resting on his lap. You wanted to do something before escaping Inazuma, anything memorable... Oh.
You took your big brother's hand, the one that was behind you on the couch, holding it with both of your hands. You spread his fingers out, observing his nails. You looked up at him innocently.
"Can I paint them..?" You brushed one of your thumbs over his hand, gently.
If you were just some random Inazuman merchant, Scaramouche would've snapped you're neck his hand away from your grasp. But, you're his baby sister. He can't resist you. Plus, you're acting so adorable right now.
"Fine. Don't take too long."
You led him to sit on the chair infront of the table, where you work.
The scent of nail polish engulfed him. Scaramouche has long since associated this smell with you. Whenever he smells this, he thinks that you, his little sister, is around. It's pretty wholesome, if you ask me.
You gathered your supplies and sat down, taking your big brother's hand. Your hands were so small compared to his.
Starting off with the emery board, you were careful to be gentle and not hurt him. Scaramouche rests his whole hand, to make it easier for you.
Scaramouche decided to take a look at your supplies set on the table. He spotted the essentials, more complicated tools, nail polish, accessories.
He then looks at you. "You know what style you want for me?" He asks you, resting his head on his free hand. "Mhmm, it's a surprise— Well. I guess it can't be a surprise, but I'm not telling you," You answer, gesturing to switch his hands.
Your big brother places his hand in your smaller ones. "I see feminine accessories. Kind of scared what you might do," He half–joked.
"Hmhm, well you should always worry when I paint nails. Especially yours." Scaramouche let out a little 'Hah' in response.
Scaramouche thinks you carefully holding each finger in place, bringing them up to your face so you could see clearly, and holding his hand was just too adorable.
He trusts you completely, to the point where Scaramouche tries not to look at his hands, so it can stay a surprise.
Then you pluck out some accessories from your little kit... Along with the glue.
You carefully place a couple on his nails. After that, you gave a little blow on his nails and placed them inside your nail polish dryer.
It burnt for a second, but Scaramouche got used to it. While waiting for his nails to dry, you stood up to set your supplies away.
Scaramouche looked at the time. 10:56 pm. One more hour until you two have to go.
You sat back down infront of him and gestured for one of his hands. After checking that they were dry, you told your big brother that they're done.
Now, you've painted your big brother's nails a thousand times before. But only when you were just starting out, though. You stopped painting his nails to start your small business.
Scaramouche hasn't seen any of your progress recently, he doesn't even really pay attention to your own nails. But when he pulled both hands back to look at his nails... Kunikuzushi went silent.
They were so pretty. His nails looked like they were taken care of by the most advanced manicure in Teyvat. His jaw dropped a bit as he stared at his hands. Since when have you improved this much?
...Scaramouche feels guilty. He was barely around to witness all of his little sister's progress. He realizes just how little time he spends with you. He doesn't notice his eyes water, until you wrap your little arms around his shoulders, tucking his head towards your chest.
"I'm so proud of you, big brother." You wanted Scaramouche to know how much you adore him, how brave he is, how strong and fearful he is in and out of his work with the fatui.
But... Why were you proud of him? Scaramouche didn't do anything to earn your respect. At least, that's what he thinks. Kunikuzushi should've been with you every step of the way. Why did he notice his mistake just now?
Kunikuzushi gently returns your hug. His tears finally fall when you start petting his head gently. Archons, what did he do to deserve a younger sister as sweet and caring as you?
He won't make this mistake again. Scaramouche will take care of you, take on his role as your big brother, without relying on the fatui.
scaramouche + "i love you so much, i could look at you for hours and not get bored."
note: yandere
"Is that the excuse you've created to explain your incessant staring?"
He looks down on you, because of course he does--you're sitting at his feet, practically reverent, gazing up at him with a look that twists between expected adoration and something... softer, sweeter, and far less easy for him to grasp.
It's maddening, as you are maddening.
"It's the truth," you say, and this time--bold minx that you are, though you pretend to be everything but--you dare to rest your chin against his thigh. Like a puppy, or an acolyte, placing your head in your better's lap.
Is that not one way to view your situation?
He refuses to give in to what is clearly a ploy for more of his attention. An invitation for his hands to grip your chin and lift it, catching your gaze. A clear desire for him to rub his thumb on your lips and consider pulling you up to press his own against them.
He refuses, for now, because that would be putting the game in your court. And if he does, there's always the chance (however slim, he thinks, seeing the way you stare at him) that you'll let him go in the end.
And that? That is the one thing he cannot abide, and so, here, now, like this--he'll be the one who stays in control.
When he does nothing more than return to the task at hand, reading important missives scattered out on his desk, you pout, huffing out a little sigh with puffed cheeks. Your eyes slide to the floor, dejected and pathetic.
"I didn't tell you to look away," he says, nonchalant, at least in his own mind.
He feels the slightest bit of warmth in his cheeks when he senses that you've turned your gaze back up at him. If he glances down, will he see a glimpse of that something sweet, that something soft? That something that he can't seem to hold in his fingers, something without real solid weight despite the heaviness it creates in his chest?
Maddening. You really are maddening.
✤ she/her ✤ words: 9.5k
The oh-so-great Balladeer was a puppet on strings. Despite this, he has a dream to fulfill, and he would do whatever it takes to achieve it—even if it meant forsaking his 'heart'. But pride always comes before the fall. He could never ever write over fatalism.
✤platonic angst :) ✤we're going to break him all over yall
“Awaken.” commanded the Electro Archon as the heavens growled.
The violet pool within the golden laver swirled, the entwined hands coruscating with a divine spark of Electro. Her command was obeyed, and two pairs of eyes opened at the same time.
His birth was most unorthodox. Disparate in the sense that he wasn’t born of flesh and blood, but of methods inexplicable to human comprehension—even to him.
It began with a tranquility like no other, enclosed in a spacious black void in which no other creature lived but his consciousness. But in that cloister of nothingness, he felt safe, he felt a closeness to something he couldn’t pinpoint. The contiguity would be ascertained soon after he heard an obdurate voice calling- ordering him to be roused from slumber.
So he did.
And he bore sight to his creator, his mother, the Electro Archon, as she regarded him with a countenance that spoke little of what she felt. Her hand upon his forehead was warm, but her eyes withheld an everlasting winter that bespoke of no potential summers.
She murmured something under her breath before withdrawing her hand and turning her back for a moment. An inauspicious action.
This churn of discomfort was set aside upon recognizing the same warmth somewhere on his limbs and he followed its origin. With a short incline of his head and a twist to the left, he blinked.
There were two sets of long tables, occupied by two figures, him included. His left arm was outstretched to the side, dipped into a gilded laver that contained a liquid tinted with violets that reminded him of his creator’s eyes. It shimmered and emitted a sense of divine power.
But what kept his hand warm in the cold pool was the hand of another.
Her gaze upon him was a mirror of his own upon hers. She spoke not with her tongue but her [c] eyes, and he too, did the same. They were parallel to one another, distant yet entwined by their fingers that had the same length, down to the fingertips.
They were both without a name, without a defined personality. Canvases that were white and stark, hoping to be filled with color. Hoping to be a magnum opus.
He wouldn’t be able to utter anything in that moment, as they were then separated, whisked away by strangers that appeared to be of service to the Electro Archon. He would only see his mother and that girl he reckoned to be his twin sibling later in a privy room, where the tall woman would first come to his sibling, who dipped her head.
Her figure would close in on itself, glowing [c] until she became nothing but a small accessory floating upon their creator’s palm. It—his sister—had become tinier than his own hand.
“A pawn piece,” a voice came from the left, and a sly-looking woman with pink hair hummed. “How appropriate for you to liken her to one.”
“But of course,” responded his mother. “If the puppet is to hold the Gnosis, then I must first see if he can handle something in its likeness. She holds at least half of the power, and for that I see no reason not to shape her as a pawn. I surmise it is the only piece in the board untouched by the Heavenly Principles.”
The foxy woman smiled impishly as she concluded. “For though pawns are capable of attaining majesty, they are still expendable.”
“Precisely. Now..”
The Electro Archon came upon him, her violet gaze stormy and steely as she neared the floating ‘pawn piece’ closer to his chest. “May your being be emboldened by that which is meant to be your core; a prototype heart of power.”
Like congealed water, the piece disappeared through his clothes, into his skin, and into his very being. What previously was a mere accessory took a different shape in his consciousness, and he felt whole.
Complete. It was a feeling like no other.
Raiden Ei hummed, satisfied at the sight of the spark of life in the puppet’s eyes. “So it has worked.”
“A good thing, isn’t it?” Yae Miko questioned, her tail swaying leisurely at her back. “But her very case is a pseudo-power half of what is authentic, no?”
“Yes and no.” The little puppet did not understand what they were speaking of, there was only the innate kind of euphoria provided by the comfort of the pawn piece within him—his own heart. It was his twin sibling, his other source of power, if he managed to comprehend the conversation correctly.
He felt full, like when he first opened his eyes and saw his mother. Felt safe, when he saw that his birth was in synchronicity with his heart.
So when the hand plunged back into his chest like nothing to retrieve the small pawn, it felt as though he was engulfed in a banquet's inferno. His limbs lit with flames and it was difficult to get a grasp of his environment, mind befuddled, voice lost.
He could barely see the way the priestess scrutinized him as a different item was thrust into his chest.
It was bigger and weighed much more. It was a heart that thrummed with so much divinity and power that he turned statuesque in its glory. The difference was profound.
His little heart—his twin, rather—held a peace akin to a nest of comfort, but the heart his mother had newly provided was laden with somber wisdom. He sensed not the presence of the girl who bore only the slight likeness to him, but he felt that of a different one, kind and prudent, yet desolate with life. It was so much that it brought tears to his eyes.
And thus, with a sharp, narrowed look of his creator, the decision was set in stone.
Not even a fortnight—no, a fortnight was most generous. Not even a week, and they’ve been forsaken.
“I need not a vessel whose gaze was more scrupulous than callous. He isn’t fit for the purpose I built him for.”
Haunting words.
“And what of the nexus you built with him? Essentially, they are one.”
Sickening truths.
“... She is a prototype I am not disposed to confine, either.”
Vexing failures.
Reminders of the reason as to why he had pursued this path. Too many betrayals, too many faux promises, and too little mercy in a world that was filled with naught but the evil end of the spectrum.
The puppet clicked his tongue as he gazed upon the lacerations on his skin, his clothes torn and tattered, fringed off the hems with licking flames. He stared at the remnants, condemning the beasts inwardly with a series of curses only unfortunate peers ever had the tragedy of knowing.
“Closer,” he murmured as the mob dispersed, only for another horde to approach. “Closer, and closer..” to greatness.
The Abyss was even more ruthless than the surface world of Teyvat, yet he found the darkness within it reminiscent of the void that came before his creation. He ignored the sting of his injuries and opted to gird himself with the beckon of power.
“Don’t push yourself.” the warning was in his head, but it sounded as if the voice came from behind him, always in his shadow. “I can’t have the Doctor poking needles into you as though you’re a labrat again.”
Funny, isn’t that what he was to that man, anyway? Besides, that sort of event happened each time he returned from his expeditions and battles in the Abyss.
“Kunikuzushi.” the voice was stern.
“Fine.”
He always meant to go overboard, that was a metier fit only for someone of his constitution. Fragile and enervated humans couldn’t hold a candle to his sturdiness as a puppet, and it was primarily this facet of his existence that corroborated his mileage to the Fatui.
So, he welcomed it with open arms, for he knew this path, though toilsome and arduous, would pave the road to his fate as a god.
He had forgotten the exact length of his ‘tarry’ in the sinister Abyss, but the darkness was a close companion that he’d known for his whole life.
In the rare interludes in which there would be no scourge or cataclysm in his stygian ventures in the otherworldly realm, he would rest and allow the extent of his injuries to overwhelm him. Only then would there be an effulgent flicker in the suffocating coat of black, coming upon his will.
His twin sister embodied that light, as she was a creation more mystifying than he was in essence.
She was—as he recalled his creator called her—his heart, who awoke in his moment of sheer desperation when he tried to ask the Electro Archon for help many centuries ago, and who had been with him ever since.
Humans were born with one, and he was created with her in a similar aspect, and both their eyes opened at the same time.
A puppet with a heart.
Kabukimono and Nisemono.
Kunikuzushi and Kenkoroshi.
Names that undoubtedly would only stockpile on the other as they traversed this path to their shared dream.
His heart was his main source of power.
Yes, he was strong on his own, but his sister was created from the godly power of Raiden Ei, emboldened by the influence of the Gnosis—the piece that was meant to be his. It meant that his sister was essentially a lesser version of the Gnosis, a facsimile—an imitation.
It was a connotation that conjured a frown on her usually blank face, but one that was wiped off with ease whenever Kunikuzushi would remind her that he was a literal puppet created in the likeness of their creator. There was a peculiar comradery in their shared existence as imitations, but that did not void their identities as ‘creatures of their own’.
Kunikuzushi would receive word from one of Harbingers themselves to return to Snezhnaya sometime later when he would be in one of his seldomly taken respites. The puppet would wordlessly stare at his hand, which was in the grasp of his twin sister, who had taken up a corporeal form to accompany him in the physical realm.
He never failed to assert that it wasn’t needed—for he could literally hear her voice in his head—, but she also never failed to exhort that accompanying him physically was a different kind of company in itself. He disliked how it was a sound reason, so he relented every time.
This mutually indulgent quietude was infrequently broken by either two, but it was fractured by the ‘pawn’ the second they arrived in Snezhnaya. Personally escorted by a handful of Fatui soldiers upon the Jester’s management following the order to return from the Abyss, she tugged away at his sleeve.
“Something weighs the wind.”
During times like these, when she would speak in riddles and figures, the puppet would be less than enthused, yet he humored her. It was inexplicable, but his twin always seemed to have some kind of prescience.
“It doesn’t feel dangerous, though.” Ah, so that meant it was something good.
Kunikuzushi could not help the snark in his voice as he responded. “I’m disposed to believe that you’re lying in the face of our ‘life’s’ usual pessimism. When has anything remotely good ever come to stay?”
“This one will, perhaps.”
It was unnecessary to tone down their voices, even though their peers regarded them with puzzlement. Why should they? No one would understand the context of their conversation, anyway.
The factuality of Kenkoroshi’s presage would be ascertained in a castle bespeckled with the rigidity of snowflakes. Diamond flakes annealed with solemn ‘love’, sharpened as though to appear like icy dirks, yet refined as if they also symbolize frozen tears.
The loveless motherland of Snezhnaya was a wintery Kingdom he had only come to at least once or twice. Little did he know, as his twin retreated back into the pawn piece in his chest, that he’d later be acclimated to the snow that was as pale and bleak as his perspective of life.
“You are hereby appointed as the Sixth Harbinger, take upon a new name as Scaramouche, the Balladeer.”
Ah. So that was what the entourage was for.
The Tsaritsa was with the voice of a daemon, yet the undertone withheld the echo of a lamenting cherub. Time was scant to bother wondering over why—after all, it wasn’t like it was a responsibility or duty of his to answer to the Cryo Archon’s emotions. He was yet to even cross his own quagmires.
His inauguration as the Sixth Harbinger, the Balladeer, was well-received and esteemed within the Fatui, but he had no doubts that it was because it was mere pleasantries. The rest of the Harbingers could hardly be impressed, but that was his own personal conjecture, for they showed probable facades that probably belied their ennui.
The celebration lasted a week, and he came to admit the complication in adjusting to the sudden attention brought with the bestowment of a rank he had come to travail over.
On the eve of its final day, he was ‘alone’ in his personal quarters that were leagues above what he was used to. Or perhaps he should rephrase that and mention that it had been a long time since he had chambers he could call his own, one that supposedly matched the majesty of his identity.
The last time he had something of this splendor, he was still on the watch of the Electro Archon, and that lasted less than five days.
What an irritating reminder.
“Is this everything you sought for?” as always, Kenkoroshi’s hand was void of any kind of temperature–she was insipid in a literal fashion, and it wasn’t meant to vilify her existence as an imitation.
For a moment, Kunikuzushi—no, Scaramouche, was quiet.
It had been a long and exhausting week of celebration, no matter the novelty and pride it brought him to be able to reach such a monumental stone in his ‘life’.
He looked down at the hand on his own, finding [not admitting] the gesture comforting. It was a reticent gesture between them, to just hold hands whenever they were alone—it was homage to their ‘birth’, when they awoke to an unknown world.
They had nothing, no knowledge, just the hand of the other and their presence and existence split as two but deemed as one.
“No.” He answered later, “I wish for what was meant to be mine.”
The Gnosis.
In a fleeting moment, he sensed her slight tension before it was easily awashed with her usual nonchalance. “... Why do you covet it so much?”
He scoffed. That was a stupid question, why else would he want something that was his in all putative angles of logic and reason? He was solely created for it.
“My purpose—no, my destiny. It was mine, that power.”
“And my power is not enough for you?”
Snezhnayan winters were algid—bone-chilling. Albeit he was far too acclimated to such temperatures and was far from being bothered, he could feel its biting frost on his skin, still. It was something that a measly hearth in the far left of his chambers could ever hope to drub.
Yet the question that she asked sent a chill down his spine. She asked it with the same, monotonous delivery, but for some reason, it sounded much heavier in his conscience. He despised it.
“Adequate enough.” He deigned to respond, their hands motionlessly entwined, still. “Enough to last until my birth as a god.”
There was no response. He despised that, as well.
For the first time that night, he turned to her—only to find her [c] gaze pointed towards the crackling flames of the hearth. He almost heard the crisp sound of burning wood and could almost smell the scent of burning flesh, but that was a memory in the crevices of his mind. Imageries and sounds that forego his mission to be divine.
“You’ll help me, won’t you, my dear twin.” there wasn’t exactly venom in his voice, just a poignant edge that prompted the [c]-haired pawn to look at him. When she said nothing again, he clicked his tongue.
“Kenkoroshi.” he admonished.
Finally, she answered.
“I will.” He could tell that it was genuine, it just took her some time to respond.
Good. With that, he turned away, and she did as well, though their hands remained connected. It wasn’t sooner when he spoke again, his tone carrying a sense of realization and pride altogether.
“We’ve to think of a new name for you. I’ve already taken up another. Any grand ideas?”
Silence. He wasn’t surprised. He was the one that offered to establish themselves with new names each time they decided to leave a piece of unwanted tragedy behind, so it came to perspicuous reason that he was to do the honors again—
“[Name].” in awe, he turned to her. “I’ll go with [Name].”
The astonishment would’ve lasted had she worn an actual expression on her face. He did not give any sort of critique about her chosen name, however. He simply nodded, testing the name on his tongue.
“Good.” he squeezed her hand. “A new chapter burns bright. One step closer to the finale.”
Their work was cut out as a Harbinger, although, technically speaking—[Name] wasn’t the Harbinger. Missions for the Tsaritsa and her endeavors proceeded without fail, and under those zealous quests, she was aware that the Harbingers had personal assignments of their own.
It was ostensible in an organization like the Fatui, she knew, that people’s interactions were transactions in their own right. Her twin brother preferred to intuit it the same way, in contrast to her own beliefs. When she told him of this, that she thought that there needn’t be any ulterior motives to causeries, he rolled his eyes.
“I looked at the world similarly once.. Look where that landed us.” he had sardonically quipped, and the conversation ended there.
Still, even with the facts transfixed, the way she conceived things did not change. It was to the chagrin of her sibling, but he did little to dissuade her from thinking otherwise—for she knew that as long as it wasn’t an impediment to his goal, he’d let her do and think as she pleased.
He was bitter about it, though, later on mumbling that the ‘ginger-head war addict’ must’ve influenced her. He spoke of Tartaglia, the young soldier who somehow found and believed that there could be goodness in a league that founded morally questionable coups and schemes, the pawn noted.
Although she never truly met the youth who eventually came to be promoted as the Eleventh Harbinger face to face—her existence wasn’t broadcasted for the entire organization to know—maybe, she thought, maybe she was influenced a tad.
Or perhaps she always was just meant to be on the spectrum in opposition to her twin.
It had always been that way since the start of their lonesome ventures and idiosyncrasies about the nation of Inazuma.
When he had gotten jaded over the betrayals the world had thrown them in, he swore to scrub every trace of emotion that stained him until not even vestiges could be sensed. Yet, here he still was, the one who felt emotions the most. It was not to disregard the fact that she could also feel, but rather, he was just a feelings-kind of puppet and there was nothing wrong with that.
Scaramouche said that it was because he had her, his heart, so he could feel.
[Name], ever circumspect, was worried—but she knew it to be true. If he had no heart, if he just had power, then what would he be like? She didn’t want to imagine it.
What, exactly? Didn’t want to imagine him without a heart? Or didn’t want to imagine him with all the power he could ask for? She didn’t know, either, and that in itself was frightening.
He assured that he would not get rid of her, however, he always did—for they were twins, they were two beings as one. Kabukimono and Kunikuzushi said it himself, and she took comfort in that.
But a wise man knew better. Someone, a third party guided and led by pragmatism and reason, stated otherwise.
“While it is true that you were created as an expendable tool, even the most churlish will know that your power is valuable.”
[Name] merely shook her head, her legs swinging absently as she sat on a rather tall, metal table that surely must’ve felt cold to most humans. “I’m not interested in your spiel, sir. Spare me the talk.”
The Doctor was that wise man, Dottore, the Second Harbinger. From the start, he had been fascinated by their existence as one being split in two, and whether he was intrigued by which one if specificity was in context, well, she didn’t know.
He unnerved her; his wisdom, his tact, and his rationales.
“Come now, there’s no harm in being honest, is there? The Balladeer isn’t awake.”
She didn’t like how he somehow knew how to transfix ideas through her head, a feat none other than Kabukimono could do. The former was a formidable man, and she had forgotten how many times she expressed that to the puppet.
“I would not have furthered this level of strength without Dottore’s pricking needles,” he had told her before. “So just put up with it.”
Kabukimono was powerful with her, but the Doctor unsealed the hidden strength—that was a truth that she could not deny. So, as advised, she tolerated the Sumerian. Her patience was running thin, however.
The number of Dottore’s laboratories exceeded the amount of fingers a human had. Throughout her time in the Fatui, she had gone to visit them all, and aside from the location of each tool and table, the interior looked ever the same—not to mention the scent of rubbing alcohol and antiseptic. Nowadays, or ever since he had unlocked the full capacity of Kunikuzushi’s powers, it carried the scent of something inexplicable.
It might’ve come from the odd, violet substances she always saw him inject into her sibling.
“You may try to hide under that expressionless facade, but I know you are just as emotional. Not even he knows that, does he?”
The Doctor’s footsteps reverberated in the silent laboratory, coupled with the clinks and clanks of the tools in the metallic tray beside the equally metallic table.
She ignored him, opting to regard the place where Kunikuzushi laid to act as some kind of distraction. To Sandrone, it was an inventing table as much as it was a dissecting one. She mentioned that the names differ with purpose, so if she were to account that into the present, then was it something akin to an inventing table??
The Doctor stopped in front of her, and since her line of sight was pointed to the floor, she was staring at his neatly shined footwear. By then, with him up front, she knew there was no use in blocking out whatever he wished to blabber about.
“It’s precisely the reason why he exploits your power. Because someone who can’t ‘feel’ is therefore less apt to act out on sentimental grounds. They simply obey—like a tool.”
Ah, if he meant to incite something by means of depreciating—more like likening—her existence to her twin sibling, then it was unlikely to work. From the genesis of it all, she already knew who she was. What she was. It came with innate acceptance, so there was no way she’d ever think of herself as more than that; a tool.
“Because that is my purpose for living, to be used as his source of power.”
“Purpose for living or existing? There’s a difference.” Of course, the Doctor always had a rebuttal, and they were eloquent. “Are you truly alive?”
A good question to ruminate over; was she alive? She was, but was she living or existing?
The answer, albeit unsaid, was reticent between them. She was simply existing because she came to this world as such. Beyond the names and purposes she had been given, there was nothing of her own will. Or at least, nothing that extended beyond her will to serve as a means of power.
There was nothing wrong with that… she liked to believe.
It was like being a Vision to a Vision-holder.
The sight of the Doctor’s feet ambling away recaptured her attention, and so, she looked up for once. She glanced at him with his hands at his back, his steps taken leisurely as he wandered about the cold, sterile laboratory. She wished she hadn’t though, for it seemed like he knew whenever someone looked at him, for he tilted his head to meet her eyes with a small, sharp smile.
“You mention being more than fine with being used, but I doubt that it doesn’t bother you, not when you know of his objective.”
He turned to her and she stiffened.
“You don’t wish to see him be a god, am I correct, [Name]?”
The place grew even colder than it normally was.
She felt as though she was being adjured and criticized at the same time as the Doctor detoured to traipse back to her location upon the table next to the sleeping figure of the Balladeer. Subconsciously, she scooted closer to the latter, his presence her sanctuary, be it awake or not.
Her lacking response seemed only to serve as reason for him to continue and oh—
“Because once the Gnosis is fully in his hands, then he will have no use for you anymore. And you don’t want that, no?”
—how she hated it.
“Be quiet.” she mumbled.
He did not stop. “As far as I know, the Electro Archon created both of you at the same time; him, in the likeness of your mother, but to be a vessel. And you, in the likeness of a Gnosis, you are his heart…”
“Be quiet.” she demanded, this time transferring her gaze to her sleeping twin brother in dire hopes of the sight of him easing the turmoil in her chest. It was rare that she felt willful acrimony, as more often she was influenced by Kunikuzushi.
But now—now she felt its poignant swath within, which left no room to circumvent the intense emotion. The Doctor knew this, of course, he always knew when anyone’s buttons were pressed, it was in his repertoire of endless moxies.
“... A heart that he’ll willingly cast aside in favor of reclaiming true divinity.” he whispered close to her ear and she snapped.
“I said be quiet!”
Dottore retreated with a smile as he felt an invisible shockwave cleave through the atmosphere, distorting space itself. His laboratory, which was pristine and kempt a mere second ago was now in complete disarray. Broken test tubes and glass lay scattered, metallic tables and shelves were capsized, and charts and papers were either torn or a mess.
Tiny zips and zaps of electricity surrounded [Name], ensconced by the power that was created in imitation of a true Gnosis. It flickered and jolted like a shield, warning the Doctor not to take a step further—ah, she was an elaborate picture of power. Her [c] hair floated all around her figure, [c] eyes gone, replaced with stark white. It looked like she could float off the ground at any moment or launch things to her will.
He understood thoroughly her ability, despite being ‘faux’. It was the power the Balladeer often harnessed.
A power that still held hidden potential.
“Mother? Sister? There’s no such thing as familial bonds to a pawn and a puppet. It is as you said, you are just an expendable pawn.” he spoke, noticing how in spite of the destruction from her rare outburst, the table Scaramouche was laying on remained untouched.
Oh, how she cared for him. The Doctor grinned. Perfect.
“But I can make you greater than you are now.”
The gradual return of the pawn to her ‘docile’ state cemented his conjecture; he had her hook, line, and sinker.
“What do you mean?”
[Name] was seldom swayed by promises. Compared to Kunikuzushi, she had always been a tad more cynical, but the Second Harbinger was a man of his word despite his devious and unscrupulous manner of handling affairs. She knew he was genuine—and that was what made his offer so tempting that she could not resist asking him to elaborate.
And he gladly did.
“I’ve only tapped and tinkered with the gears of your ‘twin brother’, and have unlocked a myriad of possibilities. What if I were to do the same unto you—his main power reserve? In theory, you will become far better than what you are now.”
He was not vigilant, he was far too complacent as he trailed his steps back to her, his towering figure peering down from his mask.
He snapped his fingers. “You mentioned that taking up a physical form and consciousness demands power from your very being, no? This means that if you seal your consciousness and become a simple pawn piece as you were originally created, then he will be able to use your power as freely as he wishes. Without thresholds.”
Sacrifice her consciousness and physical form to be a raw core of power-?
“You will be enough.” he added. “Don’t you want that?”
She sucked in a breath. “I..”
It was everything she wanted; being enough. To her chagrin, she was reminded of the night of her twin’s inauguration as the Sixth, in those chilly, chilly quarters where she took up a new name. She recalled asking the question she dreaded the most.
“And my power is not enough for you?”
She did not have a heart of her own, but she could easily grasp the emotion she always felt whenever she was with him in the aftermath of his tragedies; dread. Fear.
“Adequate enough.” his voice was still clear in her mind, “Enough to last until my birth as a god.”
That time, the world blanked out on her—she had so many things to say. So many things to ask.
When had he become so detached from their inherent bond to the point of saying without hesitance that he would disregard her as soon as his godly form was built? As soon as he was fit to centralize the Gnosis he had taken from their [mother] creator? They had been together for so long it was not even an exaggeration.
For centuries, through the names, there had been no one but her and him. And countless tragedies that shouldn’t be named.
Wasn’t it she that held him close when they awakened in the domain as he shuddered and cried when they realized that they were abandoned? Wasn’t it she that was with him through thick and thin, holding his delicate hand that refused to leave hers when Katsuragi and Niwa welcomed them in Tatarasuna? Wasn’t it she that accompanied him in the Abyss?
She, that promised that she would not let their story as twins be as tragic as the supposedly blessed encounters they had with humans.
[Name] had done her part, she had done exceedingly well, she knew. He even told her countless times. So why—why, why, why did he even begin to entertain the idea of casting her aside? It was unfair, it was unacceptable.
Ah! She was to blame.
There was bliss in ignorance, and she chose to be willfully ignorant. Ever since the death of the child that succumbed to Tataragami, he burned and charred the ambitions he usually had. She remembered watching the little doll in his likeness turn into ash and couldn’t help but assimilate it to him.
For in a way, he and the little doll were one and the same.
Except, the little toy doll had no heart of silver, but Kunikuzushi had one; her.
She had refused to believe it then, but the moment he denounced emotions, he denounced her existence. Sure, it wasn’t her that directly influenced how he felt, because even without her in his chest he could still feel—but in essence, wasn’t that the ability of a heart?
To make one feel? So when he anathematized emotions, he condemned her willfully.
Shared dream?
No, it was but a mere bandaid to swathe over her insecurity.
It was only her dream because it was her twin’s. There was only one thing that they shared—the same fear of abandonment. Kunikuzushi had grown strong, he chose not to consort with humans any longer for they were the progenitors of their angst and pain. It would no longer hurt if he was the one to shut down and do the abandonment.
Where did that leave her?
The signs were all present ever since the Doctor and the Jester gave him a place in the Fatui organization, in a land of loveless frost. He was set on obtaining the Gnosis, set on becoming a power of pure and utter authentic divinity like he was meant to be.
And that path did not include her, because she was a simple imitation with a power that was only half the legitimacy of the Gnosis’ power.
He sought more, and that ‘more’ was something she could no longer provide—or so she thought.
“Well, [Name]?” she became aware of where she was at the moment and blinked.
For once, she was not doubtful nor fearful of the Doctor, she was hopeful. And it was a dangerous thing to feel around the guileful scholar, but at that very second, she did not care. In the face of a promise that would serialize and cement her future with her twin sibling, how could she start to care about anything else?
Power… she needed it to be enough.
If she was powerful enough, then he would not need to cast her away.
“I–”
There was shuffling from the other end of the room that prevented her from speaking further.
“What’s all the racket for?” Kunikuzushi was waking up with that permanent scowl on his face, his eyes briefly glimpsing the mess that was the laboratory. He looked confused, but not enough to warrant his actual concern. “What, an experiment gone wrong?”
“No. The doctor just got clumsy.” [Name] responded stiffly as she turned to walk over to the Sixth Harbinger.
The Doctor nodded, raising his hands. “My hands do get rather shaky sometimes.”
A stupid lie that was.
Obviously, it did not work on Kunikuzushi, but he remained indifferent. The pawn knew that as long as it had nothing to do with him, then it did not matter.
She held his arms to steady him as he swung his legs off the table, but he shrugged her off. It was rude at worst and nonchalant at best, but with the pitiful memories fresh in her mind and the fear throbbing in her, it affected her immensely. Her fingers twitched.
He did not notice as he gruffly said, “I can walk fine on my own.”
He could and he did. He was stronger. During the first line of experiments he was put through, he required her assistance to get by, but he didn’t now. Did he remember, or was she the only one who relived those times?
Who am I kidding? She thought with a lump in her throat as he passed by her without so much as a second glance. He dares not think about episodes that entail any of his weaknesses.
He had grown so much during the course of the centuries, and he had developed a zealous attitude that was admirable as it was intimidating. Intimidating and fearful on her side, because she knew she was shackled on borrowed time.
Wordlessly, she followed after the Sixth Harbinger, her head kept straight despite the weight she felt that tempted her to look down. As she passed by, Dottore’s words were quiet, serving to be heard by no one else but the one who had the need to hear it.
“Think about my offer, will you?”
She did think about it. In fact, nothing else had been in her mind except for the offer he proposed; a promise of power. Whilst accepting it may not vouch for her stay as her twin’s heart, it presented a chance.
And to her, a chance was all she needed.
“Kunikuzushi,” she called one day after he had overlooked the progress of building his godly form, Shouki no Kami. She had been in his mind when she spoke, and could not deny the sting of alarm when he regarded her with frustration, demanding what it was she required.
“Scaramouche.” he corrected.
She conceded. “Scaramouche.”
He had been rather perturbed the last few days because of the Traveler, but that aside, he was delighted. She could feel him agog with the idea of finally claiming the Gnosis, of finally being dubbed a rightful deity.
“Must you really seek the Gnosis?” she questioned without tact. No beating around the bush, just a direct question, which surprised him, she knew.
The puppet stopped in his tracks, the shadows cast by the sunset across the colonnade enshrouding him in its twilit curtain. Over the centuries he had been with his sibling, not once had she asked about their shared dream. He thought nothing of it, but he was oddly irked that she did—perhaps it was because of the Traveler that she did.
[Name] always was the most acquiescent between them. He wouldn’t be surprised if the Traveler’s spiel about morality had managed to dent her thinking process.
“What do you think?” he remarked, resuming his steps. “The Gnosis is my objective for the last hundred years. Do you think I’d replace it for anything else when I am one step closer to reaching my goal?”
There was silence in his head. For the last few days, [Name] had been quiet, there was nothing new to that, but her current muteness was unsettling.
The bitterness within him gyrated his thoughts and spun them negatively, but before he could speak, she already beat him to it.
“If I’m powerful enough,” he did not like where that phrase was going. “... if I’m powerful enough, will you not take the Gnosis?”
A look of incredulity arose from his expression as he proceeded to traipse towards the workshop, the towering gears and turning wheels welcoming his arrival.
“Do you realize how ridiculous that question is, [Name]? I’ve been created for the Gnosis, it was my destiny to seize.” his words were acerbic and factual, but why would that matter when it was the truth? Besides, [Name] was used to it. There was no need to worry.
“Besides,” he gruffly stated as the elevator took him up to the next level where his godly form awaited, powered by the Electro Gnosis. “We both know you’re a mere imitation of the Gnosis, your power is only ‘half of what is authentic’, a pseudo-power, if you will. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that?”
“I haven’t..” her voice was tiny, but it was firm.
“Good.”
He huffed as he was brought to the top floor, wherein he was greeted with the mighty mechanical form that he will soon occupy. The Sages that have turned from their pitiful Dendro Archon were already present, alongside the Doctor, who passed a small wave of formality.
Of course she wouldn’t forget that piece of crucial information, it was the very definition of her being; a tool used for empowerment.
He began to walk towards his future, but with each step he took, he found it heavy to press on. His eyebrows furrowed and his chest twisted. There was only one explanation for such sensations and he knew what it was and where it was coming from.
“Where will I go when you acquire the Gnosis?” her next question made it harder to walk forward. “What will happen to me, Kunikuzushi?”
“Don’t call me that.” he gritted his teeth.
The Sages and the Doctor were too preoccupied with whatever conversation they were having to notice his balking. Whatever—he preferred it that way.
His voice low, he proceeded to snap. “And how am I supposed to know? We may be twins, but we’re two different beings. I’m not in charge of delegating what you wish to concern yourself with after I become a god. Do whatever you want.”
His body felt cold.
“We’re not different,” she protested. “I’m your heart. I’m a part of you.”
“Then do you support me gaining a new Gnosis?” he asked. “If we are one and the same, then my ideals are yours and so are my dreams. Tell me, do you want me to be a god to fulfill that dream?”
Silence. The world was slow as he waited, unbreathing.
When the answer came, he was not surprised—not any longer.
“I still want to stand with you.”
It was not a direct answer to his question, but given that he had known her for so long, he knew the implication she endeavored to convey through those equivocal words. To this, he laughed sardonically, feeling his chest twist in some kind of bitter acquiescence.
“In other words,” he chuckled. “No, you don’t want me to be a god. You want me to remain shackled to your inadequate power when you know that I seek more?”
“I can be stronger!” her voice rose in his head and he faltered in genuine surprise. Not once had he ever heard her raise her voice. But that awe gave way for resentment.
Scaramouche balled his hands into fists, feeling his anger rise and bubble. There was no use in hiding it because this conversation was pointless! From the moment he burned that child’s house down and left everything in the ashes of time, he had made up his mind—he was resolute in becoming a true deity.
They both knew what that implied.
“Even if you can, you’re just a phony Gnosis.” the words cut and stung, he knew. He was not reviling her in any way because it was the cold, hard truth. “Why else would she create you in the likeness of a measly pawn piece in the chessboard?”
“Even pawns are capable of attaining majesty!” ah, yes, Guji Yae said that herself, that even pawn pieces could be Queens and any other stronger pieces upon reaching theend of the board, but this was no chess game.
It did not remove in essence, the fact that his twin’s power was not authentic. There was no ‘end of the board’ for her to reach—this was her limit and they both knew that.
Baring his teeth, the Balladeer trudged on despite the heaviness in his chest weighing him down. He refused to be swayed by a sentimental sibling. Zealous in his steps, he disregarded the growing feel of dread for he knew it was not his emotion, but his twin’s.
It was a sickening feeling and he despised it, so he forwarded with zero hesitation.
“Quit it. All I hear is my own twin sister refusing to let me achieve the dream I’ve always chased after.”
He had hoped they would be on the same page—after all, hadn’t it always been the world against them? Them against the world? It left a hollow feeling inside and he swore he felt his eyes burn, but he did not succumb to such a pathetic weakness. He wasn’t a human, nor did he want to be.
“Our dreams were meant to be shared.” he heard her voice falter. “We were meant to work together.”
He never thought her to be this sentimental. But he supposed that after that conversation they had a few days ago, she was more inclined to feeling emotions just as he was [forcibly].
The Doctor welcomed him as he stopped in front of them, his hat tipped down to obscure his expression from their prying eyes. He answered his twin sibling sullenly, in a mere whisper.
“Yeah, I thought so, too.”
“Kabuki—”
The Balladeer thrust his hand in his chest, retrieving the pawn piece—his sister—from the spacious dimension within him. Immediately, her voice ceased to exist in his mind and all was silent. Withdrawing, he looked at the small item in his hand, glowing a faint [c], as if urging, insisting—begging him to return her where she belonged.
But he could no longer look at it with distant fondness. Now, there was only betrayal.
I thought so, too. He repeated his own defeated response in his head as the Doctor stepped forward.
“It’s time, Balladeer.” Dottore smiled.
The puppet looked up at him, then back at the pawn piece, which he gripped tightly in one hand, as if willing himself to shatter it into pieces—but he did not. He realized that, even with her gone, his chest was hollow. But that did not matter, for he would soon be filled with a power that could void the emptiness inside.
“I know.” he scowled, pocketing the faux Gnosis as the Sages adjusted the mechanical body, opening the cockpit which held a number of tubes and other small equipment.
He stepped into it as the familiar aura of the Electro Gnosis captured his attention, glimpsing it just in time before it was inserted in the center piece of the body that bore the insignia of Electro. He looked back as the Doctor spoke, though the latter’s line of sight seemed to be directed elsewhere on his person.
“We will begin the process. Are you prepared?” Dottore smiled placidly.
What a stupid question. It seemed like he was being bombarded with tons of it today, but no matter, for this coming dawn was to be a divine advent.
Scaramouche allowed his hand to fall beside him, subtly feeling the figure of the small piece of faux power in his pocket as he answered.
“Of course I am.”
He was awakened not as the perfidious Sixth Harbinger that had absconded his position, but as a newly born god. It was a dreamless sleep, filled with the thrum of divine power.
“Do you remember?” Cloaked from within the penumbra of a false sky, two beings stood—not quite human, yet capable of humanity, regardless.
One so refused to act on it, not any longer, at least. And the other remained in the grey.
The wind was howling with the nightly breeze of Sumeru, cold, and chilly, but it affected neither. A voice spoke, sounding blank. “I do not understand the need to tirelessly search for a heart… when you’re already capable of feeling, anyway.”
“Such outdated information, I don’t seek a heart any more.” Cut a voice so sharp the wind stopped. “I’m looking to crush these filthy emotions. You should, too.”
Silence. It wasn’t the uncomfortable kind, but it was tense with acquiescence, a muted clash of perspectives, ones demanding to be forced upon the other. The response came, sounding bland, if not defeated.
“No.”
That was the last proper conversation they had—it was annoying to recall such things, especially during a time when he was battling against the pesky Traveler who knew nothing but to scupper his plans.
He didn’t know why he would recall it now out of all times, as he heaved breath after breath, the power from the tubes slotted into the sockets of his back not enough to cement his victory.
“I don’t think I will.”
So annoying, so, so infuriating everything was. Everything be damned to hell.
He could almost see her stupid blank face in the back of his mind; he knew she would be disappointed, but when was she not? For someone who put emotions on such a pedestal, she knew only how to be dismayed by him. Well, good riddance.
“I quite like feeling.”
Good riddance, indeed, as the ginormous mechanical figure that housed a supposed god fell to its knees. What a weakling he was, putting himself above others who he deemed unfit for the world; humans who succumbed to desperation like a beggar to a coin.
Yet there he was, the same miserable picture of the puppet he swore to no longer be, hand outstretched towards a Gnosis meant to be his, but arbitrary fate deemed should never be.
The pain of hitting the ground was dull compared to the various other experiments he went through in all the years being a subject to the Doctor’s experiments—and though he thought his own consciousness would pity and leave him be, it did not.
Through the ringing of his ears, he heard Buer usher the damned Traveler elsewhere. And the fact that they did not once acknowledge his pitiful descent only went to show how he truly was a puppet strung along in the grand scheme of a play dolled up by the fate of this accursed world.
“Scaramouche.”
He could not move, no, he did not have the strength and will to move at the moment. His crushing defeat was like a torrent that swallowed him underwater, flooding his being and forcing him to think of nothing but it as he drowned further.
The Doctor’s figure as he hovered over him, like what a scientist would to a specimen, displayed the kind of hierarchy there currently was in the battlefield meant to be the location of his rise as a god.
A failed one.
“It may be difficult to see, what with your pitiful state right now, but you’re far from being average, are you not? So, you are still capable of response. Now tell me.” The man hovered something above his line of sight. “Is this familiar to you?”
He dared not to feel, he swore not to feel—yet he could not help the churn in his empty chest.
A pawn piece. Its homely [c] glow beckoned him to reach out to it, and he did so with a weak, trembling hand as he struggled against the lapse of his consciousness.
It was a reaction out of instinct—to grasp for something that was his, that belonged to him, that was a part of him.
But then it was whisked away and he swore it felt as though he crashed to the ground for the second time. He disliked the nagging trepidation in the back of his head as he shifted to adjust with all that he could, suddenly deeming the tubes that made him powerful a while ago now heavy, burdened with the reminder of his shameful defeat in a war that he began.
What on earth did that Harbinger planned to do? How was he able to take her?
He took her with him in his newly assembled form.
“Dottore…” his voice was weak and he hated it. “How..”
What was he going to do– what did he plan to-
The Doctor laughed as he stepped away with a flourish, gloved hand allowing the piece to float above his palm as he recounted a time of long ago.
“My word! But I thought you sought the bonafide power from an Archon and not from some prototype!” he grinned, “Didn’t you say… that you have no need for her? You fallen ‘god’?”
He wasn’t going to-
“Dottore-!”
“I’ve given you what you want, is it not only fair for me to take my share?” resumed the victor in this play.
And that measly reply was all that poor Scaramouche needed to understand what the Doctor intended to do.
The realization seized him like a serpent, and all of a sudden he loathed his nihilistic, pragmatic view that everything to the world was a simple transaction.
Yes, he wanted Dottore to make his dream a reality. But what did that spell in exchange?
[Name].
Hearing the puppet’s spasming breaths made Dottore huff. He initially had no plan to further taunt someone who was already so pitiful, but he could not resist the morbid pleasure it brought him; a puppet who was a puppet through and through.
Being a god was none other than a foolish position unfit for the latter in the first place.
The hand that shot to wrap around his ankle prevented him from taking another step, and instead of feeling irked, he was only amused.
“What desperation…” he commented.
Deciding to take things up a notch for his own entertainment, he bent on a knee over the piteous Scaramouche, the once great Balladeer, who was now in the shambles of his own mechanical body.
He had to commend him, for despite the obvious asthenia, the fire in those violet eyes were never snuffed out.
“You once wished to be a mortal with a heart, so enlighten me. Between the two of us, who is the closest thing to a weak human being now?” he allowed the piece to float closer to the loser, and he could see the natural effect it brought.
The Balladeer’s easing body, the slight serenity in his expression at the thought of being so close to the being he had with him from the very start…
… And the absolute desperation on his face when the Doctor pulled it away.
“Dottore!” ah, that scream of madness as he clawed the ground, breaths heaved between demands. “Do not… even think of laying a hand on her! She’s not yours! She’s—!”
“Yours, then?”
Dottore asked upon the shambled excuse of a god, the floating item in his possession that glowed a faint [c] and resembled a pawn piece in the chessboard being hidden into his coat.
Over his heart, where it throbbed the same color of [c], almost tauntingly.
“No…” he smiled, kicking off the clasp around his boot, and walking away. Leaving the puppet to the isolation he was so used to. “I don’t think you’ve any right to say that anymore.”
Truly, he wished to stay for a moment longer to watch the show of the desperate Balladeer, whose actions at the moment bespoke nothing of the menacing Harbinger he once was. But the desperation and agony of someone who was once just Kabukimono.
But alas! There were things to be done, and places he needed to go.
Agony—the ugly, distasteful twist of his chest was the sole reason for why he wanted to rid his emotions. To be a superior being incapable of it, for feelings were weak.
He no longer desired a heart, so he threw it away.
Yet at that moment, the godforsaken feeling of having let go brought about a pain and denial that no words could ever describe. He was helpless. Again. To the hands of fate and his own failure. Who was he to be mad, when he had been the one to forsake his heart?
It was beyond hypocritical if he were to ask for it back.
Oh, and where was he now? A measly bug on the cold stone floor.
On shaking arms, he attempted to push himself up. With nonexistent strength, he urged himself to move, but it was the very equipment engineered and produced by the Akademiya that reined him back like a literal puppet on strings—and he was soon crashing back to the floor. But he was nothing if not recalcitrant.
“No- no, don’t-” the consciousness he earlier begged to be taken away was doing its job, and he realized for certain that he would be rid of it.
To his utter desperation.
“Get back here, this isn’t what we agreed on… !”
Deep in the crevices of his mind there resounded the voice so raw with emotions he wished to burn. An ache—a defect in him that he could not, for the artificial life of him, destroy.
His chest hollowed as the Doctor went farther and farther away, carrying with him, the prototype heart he had replaced for the Gnosis.
Anything but her— no more- don’t take any more from me!
[How bastardous he was, to forsake her but in the end demand that she not be taken away from him? What irony.]
That time, he wanted nothing more but to curse everything and himself as he shook. With fear or anguish, he no longer knew.
The [c] glow he had been acclimated to over the centuries was vanishing, just like he wanted to, but now selfishly wanted to take back. Was it because he failed that he wanted her again? He didn’t know anymore—he was afraid to know.
Black spots bedecked his vision, the bile of emotions rising into his throat, threatening to spew in hysteria. Words died in his chest and his voice faded, but still, even with his fading consciousness, he dragged his body across the pavement, fixated on the Doctor’s back, who was now walking away.
Far.. far.. away.
Scaramouche, Kunikuzushi—Kabukimono raged and cried with a hand that could not reach for anything.
Not his goal of transcending into a deity.
Not his mother and creator, the Archon of Inazuma.
With the last of his consciousness and strength, he cried out. “[NAME]!!”
Not the heart he called his twin sister.
His hand fell and his consciousness left, leaving him in the swathe of familiar blackness. One that spoke without the company of the one who knew him most.
It wasn’t fair—this wasn’t fair.
But alas, perhaps fatalism had written that, even if he was far from being a powerfless human being, he could still do nothing to determine his own fate.
That of which included his desertion of his heart, his defeat, and the grand consequence to a dream he had ambitiously chased for himself.
a/n: boop. see you post-irminsul, boy.
also, mc's as "kenkoroshi" is made up of the kanji 剣 [ken/sword] and 殺し [koroshi/kill], so whilst kunikuzushi is literally country destroyer, i opted to have mc be named something that implies her nature as a weapon. 偽物 [nisemono], on the other hand, means 'fake'. or in fatalism context, she's a fake/imitation of a Gnosis.
This has been stewing in my mind for,, a year and a half? Finally out of the basement.
YES I LOVE THIS (≧▽≦)
Ahem hi( ꈍᴗꈍ) since requests are open:
What would happen if rsa saved reader from- honestly I don't know but let's put the logic aside for a bit ( this takes place based on the assumption rsa are vampires and are not on the best terms with nrc ) and turned them into a vampire?
now reader owns them like how nrc are loyal to Lilia for saving them or helping them accomplish things they wanted by turning them.
So with your amazing writing skills how would Lilia, the tweels, and vil react to this predicament?
Thank you and have a great week (つ≧▽≦)つ
Ok but this concept is actually so good!! Sorry this took so long! Hope you like it :)
RSA turning MC into a Vampire - Lilia, Jade & Floyd, Vil
Lilia:
I think it would truly catch Lilia off-guard, leaving him surprised for the first time in what feels like forever.
He isn’t used to being so out of control of a situation, and he knows very well how serious and permanent your situation is.
Lilia is very thankful you were saved, anything is better than your death to him, even if it’s because of RSA.
Ultimately, he’s pretty powerless to do anything about it. Against humans, Lilia has the upper hand, but he’s not as confident against other vampires. He doesn’t want to risk too much conflict with them, not wanting RSA to go after anyone else at the mansion.
It’s pretty depressing for him, to see you act so close and loyal to them. He almost feels betrayed, although he knows it’s not your fault. The feelings aren’t controllable and he truly understands that.
It does hurt him when you seem almost happy with RSA. You’d never really wanted to stay at the mansion, always seeking your freedom, and now you’re happy as ever to stay contained with RSA. He knows they treat you well, but he believed his residents did as well.
Lilia will try not to lose hope, continuing to research ways to break the sire bond, but considering he hasn’t encountered such a thing in his life already, he knows it may be some time before he can bring you home.
Jade & Floyd:
At first, Floyd gets a bit excited to hear that you’re a vampire now. After all, there’s so many more ways to play with you now that you’re much less fragile.
He quickly gets annoyed when he sees your intense devotion to RSA. Why are you paying attention to them, when he’s right here?
Jade is very interested in the ‘new’ you as well, although he’s less vocal about it than Floyd.
He’d be curtious to RSA, thanking them politely for saving you, despite the tension in the air.
Jade would be careful to observe your interactions with them, trying to figure out just how deep the bond is.
The tweels may want you back at the mansion, but they won’t be very straightforward about it.
Floyd will propose ominous ideas for your time together, in which you’re not sure you’ll get out of unscathed.
Jade will say how he misses you dearly, but in his typical disingenuous way that makes you worry about what he’s planning.
They’re two of the most likely to try and force you to come back, as they’re not afraid to use the force you know they’re very capable of exerting. Even if you’re unhappy there, even if you want to get back to your sires, it really doesn’t matter to them.
You lived it okay here before, you’ll learn to love the mansion again. Even if it means they have to punish you when you try to leave.
Vil:
Vil is angry, mostly because he knows Neige had any part in saving you, when he knows it should’ve been himself.
Even more than that, you now feel like you owe Neige RSA anything, let alone undying loyalty?
He refuses to accept it as reality, whilst also knowing all too well that it’s the truth considering his own loyalty to Lilia, no matter how much he wishes he could deny it.
If he’s ever forced to see you in the company of Neige, he’ll be pushed over the edge of anger seeing the two of you get along so well, with your overeagerness to please him.
Where is your disobedience when it came to interacting with him? Now for Neige, you’re sweet as can be?
Vil hates the entire thing with a passion. Even when you’re not with Neige, but with Chenya, it drives him crazy to see you try and protect and help him.
He’s too prideful to ever tell you that he misses you in the rare times he’s in your company, but you understand what he means with his snarky remarks.
He’s pleased at your guilt for leaving them behind, even knowing you really have no choice.
BLEED. — in which the Knave attends to her wounded little sibling.
— trigger & content warnings. depictions of injuries & blood, descriptions of violence, implied murder. 1.4k words.
— pairings & notes. hurt/comfort. arlecchino & younger sibling!reader. reader is a member of the fatui. reader is gender neutral (they/them pronouns). arlecchino is referred to using her real name.
— author's notes. arle <3
"Oh, you— you came."
Their surprise was evident, written all over their features as they stared up at the Harbinger. The eerie, echoing click of her heels cut through the silence that, upon her entry, had befallen the Fatui's medics. The microexpressions on her face—brows furrowed inwards, gaze focused on nothing else but them, and lips pointed vaguely downwards—promised a fate far worse than death for anyone who dared to interrupt her.
Arlecchino was a calm, even-tempered woman...
...That is, she was a calm and even-tempered woman when her beloved little sibling was both safe and well. However, the blood soaking through the bandages wrapped around the lower half of their torso made it clear that they were not well. Safe, yes, but well? That, they most certainly were not.
Her tall stance cast a shadow over their body. Perhaps if they were anyone else, they would currently be fearing for their life... but as they gazed up at her with a meek smile, it occured to them that they were definitely concerned (though undoubtedly in a far more lighthearted way than any other person would be).
"You look so scary like this," they giggled timidly, snapping their gaze away and looking anywhere but at her. Subconsciously, their fingers fidgeted with the blanket draped over their legs. "Don't be mad... I messed up a bit. You know. Things— things happen..."
Arlecchino sighed, cutting them off: "Are you wounded anywhere else, [Name]?"
"No. Just there."
"I see," she muttered thoughtfully, rolling up her sleeves. The inky darkness of her curse pulsed and spread, crawling further up her arms than it usually did—they couldn't help but frown slightly. Nonetheless, they said nothing of it. She would surely brush them off and tell them to worry more about themselves if they did.
Arlecchino turned to the nervous agents in the room; the second they did, everyone immediately tried to appear busy, whipping their bodies away from the direction of the Knave and her baby sibling with such speed that it surely gave a few of them whiplash. "You all are dismissed."
'Get out. Now.'
With polite acknowledgments to her unspoken command, heads bowing to the Fourth, the Fatui's medics were quick to leave, urgency evident in their speedy steps. Anything they had been working on was long forgotten and left behind; certainly, the soldiers were unconcerned with their work. If anything, the only thing they were concerned with was getting away from Arlecchino. It wasn't very difficult to understand why.
No agent wanted to so much as imagine what might happen if they were to somehow invoke her fury, especially now of all times.
Once the final agent had left, and the heavy double doors shut—shockingly without any echo; perhaps the medics were afraid that even closing the door forcibly enough would agitate the Harbinger—their eyes shifted upwards.
"Peruere..." they murmured softly, straightening their spine somewhat and removing the blanket from their legs so that they could gingerly swing them over the side of the bed. They wished not to agitate their wound further—it still throbbed and ached, so they knew that one incorrect move would render them doubled over in pain. Their elder sister took notice of their enhanced caution.
"Did they give you any medication yet?" Arlecchino—Peruere, rather, inquired. She turned away from them briefly, speedily shuffling through the medical supplies on a nearby table. Scissors, gauze, antibacterial ointment...
"They tried, but nothing worked... well enough, that is. My fever has gone down since I arrived and it hurts slightly less, but it just hurts far too much for any of their weaker painkillers to be effective. This base isn't well-equipped to handle wounds like this."
Even breathing was a chore, really; each time their chest rose and fell, painful sparks clawed through their skin, originating at the gash in their side.
"Hm." Her face twisted and soured somewhat. "...I suppose I have no choice but to speak to the Doctor once we return to the Motherland, then."
Peruere then began thoroughly scrubbing her hands with special attention to the underside of her nails in one of the medical sinks, as to ensure that she did not cause any kind of infection to fester in their wound.
Their breath hitched, and they immediately went on to frantically ask, "Aren't you busy? You don't have to come with me. I can return by myself, it really isn't a big deal... even if that means talking to him—"
"No." Her eyes shifted to their direction (and for a moment, she couldn't help but think that they looked a little bit like a kicked puppy—dejected and pouty, as if they had somehow upset her). The Knave's tone softened slightly. "No. I do not trust the Doctor around you, nor do I trust these agents to ensure your safety. You are injured. I am the only one who can ensure no harm will befall you."
"I can defend myself," they asserted. "I'm your sibling, you know."
"I have no doubt that you can," she softly assured, drying her hands with a clean towel. "However, at the moment, you are in no condition to fight."
With that, she collected the necessary items and walked back towards their bed. Setting all but the scissors aside, she kneeled down, and began cutting away at the gauze.
"Did they clean your wound?"
"Yes."
She hummed in ackowledgement.
Peruere's gaze softened somewhat at the sight of their wound—still wet with blood, the perimeter of the wound lined in matte crimson. She observed the way their stomach heaved with each breath.
Scorching flames burned in her veins. Had she not known any better, she would resolve to deliver a fate far worse than death to whoever did this, to personally escort them straight to the lowest circle of hell and splatter their guts across the floor.
(She awaited and anticipated the day that the Doctor somehow, in some way, brought harm to her sibling. Should that day ever arrive, she would finally have a reason, an excuse, to reunite him and the previous Knave.
Peruere was patient. She could wait.)
...She did know better, however, and her sibling was just about as much of a force as she was.
Whoever did this was certainly already well-acquainted with the devil.
After squeezing some of the antibacterial ointment onto her fingertips, she gingerly spread it across the area of their wound.
They grimaced somewhat, body instinctively snapping away from her hands. Peruere's freehand shot out to grab their hip with enough pressure to keep them in place but not enough to hurt them any further.
"Shh. Be still."
"But it stings," they whined, shooting her an accusatory glance; there was a glimmer of mischief in their glazed eyes, however, and she immediately understood that whatever they were going to accuse her of was unserious in its nature. "You're making it hurt on purpose."
At that, the Harbinger rolled her eyes. It was clear that there was no true agitation behind the gesture.
"No, it doesn't, and no, I assure you that I am not," she replied calmly, continuing to spread the ointment to ensure that every part of the injury was adequately lathered. "I put nothing on it that would make it hurt. Don't be dramatic."
"Ahh... you're so mean, Per..." they sighed dramatically. "So terribly mean to your beloved, wounded baby sibling~"
She chose not to feed into their mischief. Instead, she began winding the gauze around their body. Once she felt that it was properly wrapped—covered with enough layers to keep dirt and debris out of their flesh and blood—she pulled. "Is this too tight?"
A soft hum rose from their throat as they inhaled as to ensure that it really wasn't too tight, even when they breathed deeply. "No. The pressure helps with the pain, actually."
The Harbinger nodded, securing the end of the gauze. She then rose—though not fully, and rather bent at the waist somewhat to meet them at eye-level. The hand that was void of any residue from the cream softly carressed their face.
Her pupils bore into theirs, thumb rubbing back and forth across their cheekbone. She was mindful as to avoid scratching them with her nail. Though she often told others not to gaze into her eyes for too long—'What you see may not be very pleasant,' she would say—they seemed to be an exception.
In her eyes, as most do, they saw destruction, death, and madness. In them, it did not induce fear. It made them feel safe.
And perhaps that made them no less mad then their elder sister was.
That fate, however, was one that they were content with.
The Knave withdrew, though not before placing a tender kiss on the crown of their head.
"Rest now. We will depart for Snezhnaya when you awaken again."
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Platonic yandere fatui(plus the tsaritsa) thoughts? Doesn't matter if reader is young, teenager or adult lol
Once again going purely off vibes bc we don’t know much about most of them!
Just gonna write small excerpts for each of them but feel free to request more in-depth hcs for any of them! Scaramouche already has a full set here! 💕💕
Pierro is the strict father figure. What he says goes and will be obeyed without question. If he tells you to stay with one of the harbingers for the day then that’s where he expects to find you. When he gets to spend time with you himself though, he’s a lot softer and happy to do whatever activities you would like to
Capitano is like a second shadow. He doesn’t really interact with you face to face, preferring to stand nearby and watch over you like a guardian. The type of friend that scares off people who make you uncomfortable except 10x scarier
Columbina is the clingy best friend. She’s practically attached to your hip at all times and loves to drape herself over you at every opportunity. She gets super pouty when you pay more attention to others in her presence
Arlecchino is the doting older sister. She brushes your hair for you, she makes you breakfast, she escorts you if you’re going out anywhere. But she also likes to keep you on a strict routine and doesn’t take nicely to transgressions. It’s for your safety after all
Dottore is the scary cousin. The one you dread to spend time with because he’s always up to something and insists you help with his schemes. Sometimes he makes you sit and watch whilst he does autopsies on the recently deceased, and you could swear some of them look eerily familiar
Signora is the pampered friend. She likes to show you off by walking side by side with you. But not before she’s picked out what you’re wearing, and done your hair and makeup. She wants to be seen with you, but you have to match her standard. You have to show everyone why she’s the only one fit to stand at your side as your dearest friend
Pantalone is like your rich best friend that buys you whatever you desire. If you look at anything even a fraction of a second too long, Pantalone will have his wallet out before you can blink. He’s also definitely not above bribing people to stay away from you if he doesn’t like them hanging around
Sandrone is the smothering mum friend. She pampers you and loves to dress you up and just sit around with you. Doesn’t let you do anything yourself in fear of hurting yourself and insists on leaving everything to her puppets
Tartaglia is like the fun older brother. He already has experience looking after his younger siblings so you’ll be joining them. He likes to take you to fights to show off but won’t let you try incase you hurt yourself. He is fiercely over protective as well, anyone who dares to even look at you wrong can expect to be on the wrong end of his bow
The Tsaritsa is like an overprotective mother. She fears for your safety out in the big scary world, so she keeps you safe in the expanses of Snezhnaya where she and her trusted harbingers can watch over you
a small child brought onto campus, that’s what you were. small, weak, helpless, without magic to even protect yourself with; considering the mirror sent you, many thought of it as an offense. yet you were precious, and you could plan clever little tricks, charm other students — and one day, in the future, you will realize that your charm perhaps did more bad than good.
you were oblivious, and held no clue about the dangers ahead of you…
or the dangerous people to avoid, really.
vil:
at first, he scoffed at having to host you in pomefiore, (first impressions weren’t great, you had tracked in a lot of dirt, and was a little roughed up as well) but he had warmed up to you.
oh, yes, he warmed up alright.. you enjoyed the company of the other students, but then ‘big brother vil’ always sweeps you away. you’d question why, but he’d always distract you.
“little potato, come here for a moment”, “let me fix your hair”, and “no need to talk to them” were some of the most common things you’d hear from the blonde, as he waited for your arrival everyday.
at one point, his bedroom permanently became yours as well, and when he had to go, you could play by yourself. alone, that is. he’s so attached, why would he ever let you go? just stay in his room, it has everything you need, so don’t question why the door’s locked.
he’ll keep you forever, because you’re just so adorable. he’ll spoil you, give you the world, end the world for you. and you… won’t disobey him, will you?
💗
“come on, now,” a pomefiore student said, words like sugary syrup. he said your name, handing you a little candy. “i’m not sure why you’re kept away from all of us, but i wanna play with you too!”
you finally were brought to a party, and you stuck to vil’s side like glue. he was all you’ve known now, so it should have been expected.
however, he had left to get something (clearly agitated on having to leave you, his sweet little potato) and you had wandered off, giving into childish curiosity.
when you got lost in the crowd of people, you started to cry, realizing you couldn’t see vil anywhere — realizing you now had no one to help you… that was when a student encountered you.
“p.. play?” you asked, gingerly holding onto the candy.
he nodded, smiling. “yep! i have a little sibling at home, just like you, so i th…”
as the stranger held his hand out, you sniffled, before feeling a strange prick at the back of your neck. it hurt for only a second, before you blacked out, ears ringing the entire time.
💗
you woke up on a plush, and familiar mattress, a satin pillow beneath your head. groggily blinking, your head felt so.. fuzzy, and off. even your body ached all over.
a large hand rested on your forehead, perhaps to check your temperature.
“v.. vil..?” your eyes closed, unused to the light. where was vil? was he here?
“yes, little potato?” hearing his voice brought you comfort, as you relaxed into the cushions.
“wha’ happened..?”
“you managed to get sick, somehow… but it’s okay, in my care, you’ll recover quite fast. so don’t worry,” was his response.
you… got sick? is that it?
suddenly, you feel more tired. you can’t remember anything, so it’s best to trust vil, right..?
yeah, yeah.. should just sleep it off.
actually, vil kind of smelt like.. pennies?
oh, no — like metal.
💗💗💗
rook:
a child summoned by the dark mirror? oh, and handed off to pomefiore as well?
he’s the first one to greet you, mostly because he had scared you outside, having jumped out of a tree. he found your reaction delightful, especially when you got over the shock and was in awe of how sneaky he was..
and therefore he stuck around you more, becoming your own guide as he and you ‘adventured’ around campus. the moment you warmed up and accidentally called him ‘brother’, he had dramatically shed a few tears, theatrically spouting out words you didn’t know.
you found it funny, and gladly always tried to find rook whenever you were bored. (he was over the moon about it, you really chose him?) sometimes, though, you forget he expects you to be with him.. but that’s fine!
it’s not like he isn’t watching your every move, after all. he’ll give himself away with small ‘mishaps’, like rustling in a bush or clearing his throat a little too loud; only because your reactions were like pure gold to him, and it only made it better how those reactions.. were at him. only him.
💗
you cheered as a savanaclaw student swung you around, filled with joy as he held on tight, giving into your childish whims. the student was actually quite friendly, accepting your requests of wanting to play.
after all, you were just a little kid, and you liked fun just as much as anyone else.
“again, again!” you cried, giggling as you went up and down, enjoying the thrill.
“alright, but this should be the last time..— i do have to study,” the student sighed. he almost wanted to tell you he could sense somebody nearby, alarmed and concerned for your safety, but he held back his tongue.
“aww..” you pouted, before brightening up as he swung you around once more.
you could barely feel the eyes on your back, unknowingly used to the feeling, thinking it was normal.
as the student let you down, you squealed as an arrow flied past you, stabbing into the dirt right beside his foot.
mumbling a curse, you winced as your arm was roughly grabbed, getting dragged along as the student — far more athletic than you were — ran.
but… you could only furrow your eyebrows in confusion.
weren’t the arrows.. normal?
they always came when you accidentally stuck around someone for too long, at least getting shot once, ‘n then rook usually always comes in and steals you away! so.. it should be fine, right?
so why does the nice stranger look so cautious? rook just doesn’t like when playtime gets too long.
💗
the next day, you couldn’t help but stare in awe as rook stood in front of you, wiping something off with a cloth.
it was a little bit dirty, most likely from how much it’s been used.
as you mindlessly rambled to him on what your day was like, (he always listened, with his signature smile — even if most of the day was spent with him) you couldn’t help but wonder if you were gonna see that nice stranger again.
i mean… the arrow felt different from usual.
maybe he got mad?
..hm, no. rook was always so nice to you, and he was the best, and..— so there’s no way he got angry at all.
brain too puny to think abt french, it’s also 3 am (no dialogue from mr hunt today) AND ALSO BC OF THE TIME I’M SORRY IF THIS SEEMS A LIL IFFY (anyways)
ahoy, twst fandom
my first piece of writing for idv was yandere so i thought i’d make it a tradition n do it for twst too