Mixing Concrete With Chicken Stock Instead Of Water To Give It A Richer Flavor Profile

Clone Danny Fenton amuses me so here's another dumb crossover idea: Danny is one of the "failed" clones of Kon that Tim tried to make, but clockwork snatched his lifeless baby corpse before Tim could dispose of it (Tim just assumed he did when it disappeared, writing it off as he did it while too sleep deprived to remember clearly or something) and CW uses the pit to revive it before dropping him off with the Fentons in a completely different dimension.

Danny knows he's adopted and realizes he's not normal fairly early on, but doesn't manifest the more noticeable of his powers til after his accident, so he blames it all on his halfa status and not the alien heritage he has no way of knowing about. Once shit hits the fan and his dimension is no longer safe for him to live in, CW sits him down and explains both his alien (in more ways than one) and clone statuses. CW then offers Danny the chance to meet his maker and template, which Danny agrees to because why not? He's got nothing to lose. Danny's injured 16 y/o ass is then dropped a short distance from a timberkon (who are now in their early 30s because that'd how time works) date/hangout and Danny just plops himself at their table and steals some of Tim and Kon's food before literally any words are exchanged.

Kon, freaking out because this kid looks like him???: Uhhhh??? Kid??

Tim, bewildered: Who?? What?? Kid, wtf??? Do we know you??

Danny, swallowing his mouthful of stolen food: Yes and no.

Danny, points lazily at Tim: Creator.

Danny, equally lazy point to Kon: Template.

Danny, blinking slowly at Bernard: I don't think you had anything to do with HOW I'm here, but as you clearly are part of this now, surprise, it's a scientific freak of nature.

Danny, ignoring the devastated looks on his "parents'" faces and steals more food while continuing: He/him pronouns and I go by Danny. AND ONLY Danny, not Daniel, not Danno, and certainly not Dan.

Tim, slowly takes a deep breath and slides most of his meal towards the clearly starving child: Danny... You're NOT a freak, kiddo

Danny, seems to beam without changing his expression when he's got the food in his hands before processing how his comment must have sounded without context: Oh-ho! But I am! Finding out I was a half human alien clone was just the icing on the cake, really! I had an accident that I'm pretty sure destroyed all my flimsy human dna. I'm now half something else, that hilariously has a lot of crossover powers so I just assumed my accident gave me all of them before the dude that cradle robbed my dead baby corpse from the evil mastermind lab my creator.. has? Had? Meh. Who cares. But baby me was very dead and then he did something and I wasn't. This is where I inform you I grew up in a different dimension and know jack shit about this one.

Bernard: Okay, I have so many questions

Kon: Me too! What's your other half? What's your dimension like? Why did you seek us out now? What's your favourite colour? Any food restrictions? Do you have a place to stay? Why is your heart rate so slow? What's that buzzing sound coming from your chest? What-

Tim: KON! Let the kid actually tell you answers!

Bernard, sliding some of his food over to Danny while eyeing the subtily stiff way Danny is moving: Plus, the more pressing question is, how hurt are you, Danny?

Kon: You're HURT???

Danny, frowns at Bernard ratting him out before turning his attention back to the food in front of him: I got vivisected, it's fine, it's healing

The adults all suck in a sharp breath before sharing a look. They agree this is their kid now and people can take him from them over their cold dead bodies.

Danny feels 3 shiny new parental bonds snap into place, startling the shit out of him. He didn't think they'd want him tbh, AND he didn't think they'd have enough ectoplasum to even do a claiming like that. He nearly starts crying, BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE WANT HIM.

Tim, concerned: Danny? What's wrong?

Danny, blinking wetly: You're liminals?

Bernard: "Liminals"?

Danny: Human with ectoplasum in their system. I just.. you want me?

Kon, sacrificing what's left of his food to Danny: I don't know what that means. AND of course we want you. You're family now.

Tim, nodding: There's no escape.

The adults all giggles, thinking of different situations with supers or bats or both. It only lasts a second because Danny bursts into tears, just completely overwhelmed by the situation. The adults instinctively get closer, but don't touch, unsure if it would help or worsen Danny's state.

Tim: Danny?

Kon: Would you like a hug-oof!

Danny dives into Kon's side and desperately clings to him with enough force to break a human's ribs. Tim and Bernard crowd closer and rub his back in soothing motions.

Bernard: What's wrong, kiddo?

Danny: Dani should have been here too!

Tim: Danny? I thought your name was Dani?

Danny: She was Dani with one n and an I. I'm Danny with two n's and a y. She- She was my clone, but...

Bernard: You don't have to tell us

Danny: ...She wasn't super stable. I'd help her restabilize every time she started to destabilize, but... but I got caught! She came for help and got caught too! I watched her melt in that shitty lab! There was so much- I wanted- SHE'S GONE!

The adults are devastated. Kon squeezes Danny tightly.

Kon, softly: tell us about her?

And so Danny does. Explaining how she came to be, their first interactions, her strong and independent personality, the little souvenirs she brought him while she traveled to figure herself out, how her condition always worried him, but she wouldn't-couldn't stay with him, and how he wanted to talk about finding her a new name because she deserved to have her own name, not something that reminds her she's a defective clone, but he never got the chance. He has a messy breakdown while explaining her final moments and how his bindings, power suppression cuffs chained to the floor and a muzzle, prevented him from giving her comfort and how SHE apologized to HIM. He thought he was going to die with her in that moment, his core cracking at her loss.

This leads to a short explanation of his ghost biology and how dangerous a cracked core is. And by then, he's flagging, so the adults start persuading the kid to crash in their guest room, with the promise of dinner.

Thus begins the process of timberkon convincing Danny to stay with them. Teaching the kid about his original dimension and the many heroes. They get him so MANY books about space and alien civilizations once they find out his obsession (literally) with that kind of thing. Danny still misses his sisters and friends like an amputated arm, but he slowly rebuilds, letting himself gain a new family and new friends.

His introduction to both the Bats and Supers could have gone better.

He's suspicious and wary of Clark the whole time he was meeting the Kents because of how Clark has treated his own clones in the past. Danny doesn't understand him, and Clark doesn't truly understand, but is more sad than anything about it and accepts he made his bed, now he must lay in it. He warms up to the rest fairly quickly. He's also introduced to Bizarro and Clara eventually and that goes well.

With the Bats, Danny, Bruce, and Dick verbally pace around each other. Bruce deep throating his foot, and Dick not being much better while trying to keep the peace. The rest watch on with amusement before the show is a cut short by Damian of all people intervening. The problem is Damian snuck up behind (unintentionally), grabbed his shoulder while calling Danny "Daniel" (something he was informed to NOT do), and Danny's brain went "VLAD FOUND ME??" (despite there being no way, CW will not let him find Danny) and reacts with violence. Damian barely escaped having any broken bones, that being said, where Danny grabbed to literally throw Damian has DEEP bruising, that arm was dislocated, he has more bruising from hitting the floor, and gained a concussion. Danny apologizing profusely while scolding this 28 y/o man about sneaking up on him AND using a name he specifically told everyone NOT to use. Damian is man enough to apologize while Alfred patches him up. Meeting Duke and Cass is nice, he's unsure about Steph (because how rambunctious she is) and Alfred, Barbara makes him homesick for Jazz, and Jason is funny til he gets a heart attack in the form of Danny offering to eat the corrupt ectoplasum (Lazarus waters) out of him. There's chaos after that, but it eventually calms down, especially since timberkon are protective of their baby and Tim looks like he's about to go super villain on them the moment "tests" are brought up. Danny is embarrassed and pleased as his Creator (he never stops jokingly calling Tim that, Kon gets Template, and Bernard is Human, when they aren't just called their name. Eventually he calls them all dad, though Bernard is sometimes called mom) threatens to ruin their everything if they continue. Threats they take seriously because they know Tim will follow through. After that it goes well.

the sillies

Okay, but, realistically speaking, Bruce Wayne has got to have a low alcohol tolerance. He’s a lightweight.

Like, think about it—this man rarely drinks. Most of his “drunken” shenanigans are done stone cold sober on account of the Mission, and all. If you get more than two glasses of wine in him he is fucking gone.

Which is part of what makes family dinners at the Manor so entertaining. Assuming that such events are one of the rare times Bruce truly relaxes, it’s not a stretch to think he might indulge in a glass of wine or a bourbon; and this is fine and all… until the Batkids persuade him to have another round with them or, God forbid, do a celebratory shot.

After that? Bruce is wiped.

His kids think it’s hilarious. Drunk Bruce is a trip. He’ll drop insane Dad Lore about his time in the League or a wild JL space mission or something, but then proceed to list in meticulous, clinical detail all the things that annoy him about Hal Jordan, and then all the sudden get super excited and start detailing his latest Superman Contingency Plan using the salt shakers in the dining room table. He switches moods and topics so quickly that his kids would get whiplash if they weren’t laughing their asses off.

And you know the +1, singular, solitary, time that Bruce got drunk in front of Clark will go down in history as the best day of Clark’s life. Bruce spent the entire time baring his soul, praising his children, and describing his world travels… but he also kept getting distracted by Clark’s abs and called him “sexy” no less then fourteen times. (Clark left that bar wheezing with laughter and had to disentangle himself from Bruce and force him into a taxi because Bruce kept trying to make out with him. It was fantastic.)

Just some dp doodling

I love the headcanon that Jason writes fanfiction and the funniest part of it to me is how his author notes would take the ao3 curse to a whole new level

A/N: here you go guys. Sorry it’s a couple days late, I spent the entirety of yesterday forcing soup and fever-reducers down my brothers throat while he actively told me he wasn’t sick

comments: omg is your brother okay?? Jason, responding: yeah he’s fine now. I took my eyes off him for a second, he downed a coffee and it fucking healed him?? Idefk. comments: wtf

Jason: yo sorry this was a little rushed, my sister’s ballet recital was crashed by the joker and I spent the night helping with the relief efforts comments: damn your siblings are living crazy lives Jason: you don’t know the half of it

Jason: this chapter was a week late, yeah. Sorry about that. I died again.

it’s a batkid tradition to memorise Bruce’s credit card number. when you join the family you get kidnapped and held hostage by the kids while the existing siblings drill you repeatedly until you can quote all the numbers like a soldier mindlessly responding to their drill sergeant. Bruce doesn’t find out this is a thing until theres a big case that requires some of the kids back up the JLA in a mission, but Duke hasnt slept for like three days so when Bruce barks at him to pay attention he snaps upwards like a sleeper agent to rattle off the entire card number by default. the table falls silent. Bruce furrows his brow.

Bruce: …wait. was that my credit card number?

Duke, instantly: im so sorry it was Dick’s fault i promise

Dick: HEY-

Barry: wait that was his credit card-? hey can you say it again-

Oliver: -also the pin,

Bruce: Barry, you know if you need help i am happy to-

Bruce, abruptly changing tune the second Oliver opened his mouth: -YOU can shut the fuck up i know exactly how much is in your bank right now-

Oliver: HEY I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS-

DpxDc #8

Sleeping like the dead.

Danny has died and came back.

He obviously knows that, his friends and sister know that, but he may have forgotten the consequences of it.

Mainly, his now numerous “health issues” that other people (outside of Amity) would find… worrying.

That’s why he was denied access to the space program, or why the universities denied him scholarships, fearing he might not actually be able to finish their programs.

Danny didn’t really want to ask his parents for money either.

He knew they didn’t have a savings account for him, and he was actually trying to distance himself from them when he saw them finally keeping their promise of tearing apart ghosts “molecule by molecule”.

Lots of jobs wouldn’t hire him because of his “health conditions”, so he decided to leave Amity Park and travel to Gotham.

Getting help from Tucker, he found out about a grandfather (on his father’s side) who lived there and, after contacting him, offered Danny a place to stay until he found a job.

The address brought him to an… absolutely gigantic mansion, his jaw dropped to the floor as he stared at it.

Smiling at him, an old man with a sharp mustache offered Danny his hand.

“It is lovely to meet you, Danny. Certainly a surprise, but a welcome one.”

Danny smiled back, shaking it.

Alfred Pennyworth had a son, once. A son who decided to cut him off after college due to his growing obsession with the occult.

It was later that he found employment with the Waynes, missing his son every day and, admittedly, projecting a little on Bruce, loving him as his own.

After decades of silence, his apparent nephew contacted him out of the blue, asking for help.

Nobody could blame him for jumping at the occasion, so it was like this that (DNA test confirmed it) Danny Pennyworth Fenton started his training as a butler in Wayne Manor.

------------------------------------------------

It wasn't much later that Alfred noticed something wrong with the boy.

The slow breathing, the pale skin and occasional twitching.

Introducing him to the Waynes was chaos, as expected, but a couple of weeks later, everybody behaved like Danny had always been there, which was nice.

And, soon enough, there were more people noticing his nephew's odd behaviors.

On top of everything observed before, they noticed the nose bleeds, the way his skin would take a blue tint to it, the way he wouldn't use his left arm for a day or two...

Then one night, Alfred peered Danny's door open, like he did for every guest in the house, and he saw him.

His nephew, under the covers, perfectly still...

His eyes, unseeing but open wide...

His jaw slack and his skin cold...

It’s always “evil Superman!!!!” this, or “villain justice league!!!” that.

I want an AU of villain! Bruce who’s absolutely dog-shit at being evil.

Firstly: The worst thing he can think of doing is not donating to animal shelters or charities . immediately feels so guilty he throws up.

Secondly: The second a child cries because of him, he’d freeze up. Stand like a statue, unmoving and petrified. No more evil, but just today.

He ends up helping the city by accident more often than not, and to his immortal disappointment, Gotham loves both the Bat and Bruce Wayne.

“alfred come look at my evil plan”

“Yes, sir, “ Alfred is very indulgent. He does his best to pretend it’s actually good. “ ‘Don’t say please to the barista’. Getting bold, are we?”

EVERYTIME He and Clark meet and Bruce monologues about pulverizing him to dust, Clark (and the League) looks at him like this:

“I can make him worse,” GOOD FOR YOU!!! Clark can make him into his malewife and adopt his 7 evil sidekicks who actually know how to villain. Especially the little one.

okay contrary to a previous post i made: what if jason wrote fanfiction but it became a MC Daredevil situation where literally everyone knew his identity but he just waves them off

Jason: *writing A/N* here you go guys, sorry, something came up with my job comments: we all know it was the warehouse penguin blew up. its all over the news jason: *responding* idk what you're even talking about dude, i don't own a tv. how could a flightless avian blow up a warehouse

jason: this chapter's gonna be a little dark cuz that's my mood this week comments: is it because they took you off the earth's greatest threats list? jason: they wh---no of course not

jason: *posts* comments: we missed you red hood! jason: idk who that guy is but he sounds cool

jason: ugh, have you guys seen the new episode? shit's horrible. here's a fix-it. comments: do you . . . perhaps . . . think its horrible because they misused the gun props . . . jason: no i was talking about x character dying but YES OH MY GOD THAT PART HURT ME TO WATCH comments: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

comments: so when r u going to change your ao3 name to redhood? jason: i fucking swear if one more of you moterfuckers insinuates that i am the gotham vigilante known as the red hood i will withhold five of my most recently written chapters from the entire fucking lot of you comments: . . . you'd never jason: fuck

comments: you have an interestinly in-depth and expanisve kowledge of firearms jason: well, we all have hobbies jason: mine was born out of fear of the ao3 author curse. ima fuckin shoot the thing the moment i see it comin comments:

Tim: Bruce, I’m gay

Bruce: oh

Tim: oh?

Bruce: I mean you being gay sort of ruins the entire edgy thing the batfamily has going on

Tim: what?

Bruce: because you’re gay.. you’re happy..??

Tim: when Dick uses the term gay he means something different than me

Dick, poking head into room: no we mean the same thing, I just didn’t want to explain it to him

Tim: no Bruce, I’m bisexual, I’m into men and woman

Bruce: oh, congrats? Me too?

Tim: WHAT?!

Dick: Superman was my co parent at one point I definitely saw them kiss

Tim: again, WHAT?!