Still Fat And Depressed Again. Gonna Loose My Boyfriend

When I was a teenager I used to feel shy about eating in public, I didn't like to eat in front everyone at school so It was common to me skip meals. I remember that when I travelled with some friends I skipped meals a lot, sometimes I just didn't eat a whole day. Today I look to my pics from that time and a think my body was ok even if it was a little bit weight for my age. I miss that time, it was easier to skip meals, to not eat at all because I was to ashamed about eating. Now it seems everything I try it's not enough, I'm still fat and not losing weight. I'm aware that I'll be alone and unlovable because of it, I'm too fat and ugly for being loved even if it is by my friends or family. My mom clearly hates me because I'm not skinny like my sisters. Every day I get more depressed about my weight and everything it comes with it. I'm trying, I really am, but sometimes I don't know what to do anymore.

🌼✨

~ I’m really gonna start pushing myself to eat less- mainly junk foods 😩 I need to hold myself accountable and loose this damn weight. ~

Feeling extremely guilty after eating 10 cream crackers biscuits as my first meal at 5 pm.

Think about this the next time you want to overeat ❤️

*not mine

I need to finish my paper for college asap, so I can do exercises because I'm a stupid bitch whose ate lunch today. Even tho it was salad I am pissed.