On My Ao3, Someone Just Commented That They Can't Wait For The Next Part Of A Fic When I Know DAMN Well

Sooooo...

In one of my last posts I mentioned that I headcanon that Zoro would brag about having sex with two more genders than Sanji.

...

I wrote the fic.

It's got every Mugiwara's (minus Jinbei since he hasn't joined yet in this one) sexual life in it, so it might not be for everyone.

Also, it kind of exists outside of reality since it is post timeskip Strawhats in the situation of pre timeskip where they just fuck around.

Nevertheless, let's get into it!

Chastity Of A Mugiwara

It was a normal lunch for the Strawhat Crew. Shouting, scolding and shoving occurred as Luffy ate as much as he could shovel down his throat while everyone else desperately shielded their own plates, followed by an angry Nami hitting Luffy over the head to stop him from touching any more of her food.

Zoro, having finished his plate, poured himself a fifth cup of sake while assisting Chopper with plate defence. After a few more minutes, the chaos came to a close with Luffy getting off of the table to join Brook outside as he prepared to play a song.

Chopper, sitting down on Zoro's lap, looked intrigued for a few seconds before opening his mouth to talk.

"Zoro, who were those women in the last island? Why were they wearing so little?"

Zoro spat out his sake.

"I don't understand.", Chopper continued, "We've seen them a lot in more populated islands. Is it just a fashion?"

Zoro kept silent for a bit while he thought of what to say next, but Franky spoke up first.

"Oh, them? They're just prostitutes."

The room fell silent, except for the thud of Robin's heavy book hitting the recently cleared table.

Chopper looked around at everyone's awkward faces before opening his mouth to talk once again.

"What's a-"

"A prostitute is a sex worker, Chopper.", Robin interrupted, with a disappointed look on her face aimed at Franky. Chopper immediately reacted by blushing in embarrassment and covering his face before looking up at Zoro, who had covered up his eyes with his left hand.

Chopper stuttered as he began to ask Zoro another question.

"So does that mean that those women yesterday who were... You know, flirting with you wanted to have... sex?"

Zoro groaned as Sanji gritted his teeth, rising up in flames.

"They were doing WHAT?!"

Zoro looked up briefly to see Nami with a mischievous grin staring at him. She smugly asked, "Soooo... What did you do?"

Zoro took another swig of his sake before replying, "Nothing. Sex is boring as fuck."

Everyone in the room stopped to look at him, some confused, most indifferent. Sanji was the first one to shout out, "You've had sex before?"

Before Zoro could reply, Nami intercepted.

"Zoro is handsome, has a good figure and looks like he'd be good in bed, so he gets hit on a lot. Did you not notice that?"

"I LOOK LIKE I'M GOOD IN WHAT?!", Zoro roared out, some heat reaching his ears. He clearly, did not notice.

He sighed before replying in an exasperated tone, "Yes, I have had sex before."

Sanji, now fuming, yelled out, "WHEN?!"

"When I was 18, before I met Luffy, I had sex twice. Didn't really like it, so I haven't had it since."

Sanji ran his now sweaty hands through his hair, stressed.

"Who would want to do that with you?"

Zoro paused, furrowing his eyebrows in thought before making a smug grin.

"Of course you'd want to know, you've obviously never had sex with a woman."

Sanji's face went red with embarrassment. "H-how would you know?"

Zoro smirked. "Oh please, you froth at the mouth and shoot blood out of your nose when a woman gets within a metre of you. You'd die before you even got your clothes off!"

"I-I'm saving myself for marriage!"

"Mhm. You have women throwing themselves at you that you have to save yourself from then, obviously.", Zoro replied back cynically.

Nami, in an attempt to stop the fight, cut in by changing the conversations direction.

"Who actually is a virgin on this ship?"

At that moment, Luffy and Brook re-entered the cabin and immediately asked why it was so quiet.

"I'm wondering who is a virgin on the Sunny. We know that Zoro isn't and that Sanji is, but we're finding out the rest now."

Brook looked up for a second (But he doesn't have eyes! Yohohohohoho!) before replying. "When I was still alive, I did have sex on some islands. Of course, since I am just bones, I won't be able to do anything of that sort anymore."

Chopper replied, clearly embarrassed by the topic, "Well, I haven't done anything.", whilst burying his head into his hooves.

Franky joined in, saying, "I had sex back at Water 7 often. Haven't been super interested in it since then though."

Nami finally answered her own question.

"Luckily, I'm still a virgin. I have teased it and almost did it when I was infiltrating pirate crews in the past, but I managed to get away before actually doing anything. I'm not innocent to sex, but I haven't actually done it."

Robin answered after that in a more mellow tone, "Running away for most of my life meant that I had to do anything to survive, even sex. It wasn't very nice in my experience, but it depends on the situation I assume."

The room fell quiet once again as everyone felt slightly upset by Robin's experiences. Luffy interrupted the silence, clearly not reading the room.

" ... What's sex? "

Robin thought for a suitable definition, and turned to Luffy.

"In this context... Intercourse involving genitalia."

She didn't want to ruin his innocence, but he couldn't be too naive either. She hoped that he would be satisfied with her answer and not pry in any further.

"I still don't understand. What's intercourse? What's gen-it-ail-ee-a?"

Zoro spoke up next. As one of the men Luffy was closest to, they all hoped that what he said would work. Then again, this was Zoro.

"Coition. But, like, more broad. "

Everyone on the crew except for Zoro and Luffy collectively facepalmed and/or groaned.

"Oh, like coitus? I've never had sex then."

Nami, much like the other Mugiwara, wore an expression of dumbfounded disappointment. Somehow, Luffy knew what coitus was and not sex, because of course he did. And clearly, clearly Zoro had full trust that Luffy knew, because who else would have such blind faith in their Captain?

"Usopp's the only one left.", she sighed.

"Do you think I've done anything like that before?", Usopp answered back with a clearly displeased tone.

Zoro replied, "You are clearly in love with that one girl, Kaya, but I don't think you've actually done it before."

"HE-HEY!", Usopp cried out like a small cat as he went red.

"He's not lying.", Nami grinned back. Out of the crew, only Luffy, Zoro, Nami and Usopp met Kaya, so many others were confused. However, most could pick up on the tone and smiled accordingly.

Nami continued, "So Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, Sanji and I are virgins, then."

Zoro sat in thought for a few seconds before commenting, "Actually, we only talked about women when it came to the Ero-Cook."

"What are you suggesting, Marimo!?"

"So you haven't had sex with a guy then? Lame."

The room seemed to go silent a lot in that one conversation.

Sanji replied, stuttering slightly.

"You... You have?"

"Oh, yeah.", Zoro grunted lazily, "On my first time the woman said that I didn't seem interested, so she suggested that I was gay. I tried it with a guy later but he said the same thing and that I might be... Asexual or something."

Robin laughed a little bit before continuing. "That seems quite accurate for you. I've never seen you attracted to anyone, so it wouldn't surprise me."

Zoro shrugged before yawning and getting up, gently placing Chopper back into his chair.

"I'm going to go to the gym for a nap."

As he left all the crew could wonder was 'What on the Grandline even was that conversation? '.

They all mentally decided that they were probably not going to talk about that again anytime soon before returning to their posts and allotted tasks.

_________________________________

Alright, hope that wasn't shit.

Also, I totally imagine that Zoro and Luffy had the weirdest talks before Nami joined, which lead to Luffy knowing what coitus means and not sex.

Eh, I think it's funny.

my brain has rotted tbh

i have 4 albums on my phone labeled with different meme categories and 1 album called 'real life'

my one piece meme folder has 96 pictures. my real life folder has 34 pictures.

i need help

I think we should steal Zoro from the dudebros indefinitely

Mmmmm... (and other noises of approval)

Although my main OTP is Zoro/Hiyori (idk why it just is), I think that something great about One Piece is how there are few ships that almost everyone absolutely despises that are regularly talked about, which to me just shows how well each character gets along with each other, enough to encourage a healthy dose of enjoying a large range of ships.

Most of the Strawhats (minus chopper because he's too baby) can be shipped together for genuine reasons that many people can get on board with, and if people don't like that so much they can ship them with any of the other people they interact with in specific arcs.

It's really a testament as to how Oda's writing of the main crew makes them so fun to read, draw and write interacting with each other.

The beautiful thing about One Piece is that I genuinely enjoy a lot of the ships, even if I don’t necessarily ship them.

I will see a ship post with art or just funny moments of two characters I never even considered and be like;

"Yes they are so in love",

& then go back to my citrus trio and frobin brainrot.

Everyone say thank you american indigenous people for cultivating corn, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cacao, pumpkin, squash, and anything i missed. Makes life more meaningful globally

I SWEAR I JUST HEARD THE WILHEIM SCREAM IN THE ONE PIECE LIVE ACTION AT LIKE 15 MINUTES INTO THE BARATIE EPISODE SOMEONE TELL ME I'M LYING

Kuina: Zoro, your so lucky to have been born a boy… My chest has started to develop… Soon I won’t be able to be a great swordsman…

20 year old Zoro with an H cup: rip

I forgot how much I loved this art, I just want to keep it where I'll be able to find it

Sorry for such a long post, but - I sketched up my interpretations/headcanons of the (human [alive]) Straw Hats’ body types and had a lot of fun with it!

LOOK AT THIS

SOMEONE WROTE A ZOYORI FIC INSPIRED BY ME AND I'VE NEVER FELT SO PROUD OF MY WORKS BEFORE

There are now a solid 82 fics in the Zoro/Hiyori tag on ao3 :)

HOW TO WRITE A CHARACTER WHO IS IN PAIN

first thing you might want to consider: is the pain mental or physical?

if it’s physical, what type of pain is it causing? — sharp pain, white-hot pain, acute pain, dull ache, throbbing pain, chronic pain, neuropathic pain (typically caused by nerve damage), etc

if it’s mental, what is the reason your character is in pain? — grief, heartbreak, betrayal, anger, hopelessness, fear and anxiety, etc

because your character will react differently to different types of pain

PHYSICAL PAIN

sharp and white-hot pain may cause a character to grit their teeth, scream, moan, twist their body. their skin may appear pale, eyes red-rimmed and sunken with layers of sweat covering their forehead. they may have tears in their eyes (and the tears may feel hot), but they don’t necessarily have to always be crying.

acute pain may be similar to sharp and white-hot pain; acute pain is sudden and urgent and often comes without a warning, so your character may experience a hitched breathing where they suddenly stop what they’re doing and clench their hand at the spot where it hurts with widened eyes and open mouth (like they’re gasping for air).

dull ache and throbbing pain can result in your character wanting to lay down and close their eyes. if it’s a headache, they may ask for the lights to be turned off and they may be less responsive, in the sense that they’d rather not engage in any activity or conversation and they’d rather be left alone. they may make a soft whimper from their throat from time to time, depends on their personality (if they don’t mind others seeing their discomfort, they may whimper. but if your character doesn’t like anyone seeing them in a not-so-strong state, chances are they won’t make any sound, they might even pretend like they’re fine by continuing with their normal routine, and they may or may not end up throwing up or fainting).

if your character experience chronic pain, their pain will not go away (unlike any other illnesses or injuries where the pain stops after the person is healed) so they can feel all these types of sharp pain shooting through their body. there can also be soreness and stiffness around some specific spots, and it will affect their life. so your character will be lucky if they have caretakers in their life. but are they stubborn? do they accept help from others or do they like to pretend like they’re fine in front of everybody until their body can’t take it anymore and so they can no longer pretend?

neuropathic pain or nerve pain will have your character feeling these senses of burning, shooting and stabbing sensation, and the pain can come very suddenly and without any warning — think of it as an electric shock that causes through your character’s body all of a sudden. your character may yelp or gasp in shock, how they react may vary depends on the severity of the pain and how long it lasts.

EMOTIONAL PAIN

grief can make your character shut themself off from their friends and the world in general. or they can also lash out at anyone who tries to comfort them. (five states of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and eventual acceptance.)

heartbreak — your character might want to lock themself in a room, anywhere where they are unseen. or they may want to pretend that everything’s fine, that they’re not hurt. until they break down.

betrayal can leave a character with confusion, the feelings of ‘what went wrong?’, so it’s understandable if your character blames themself at first, that maybe it’s their fault because they’ve somehow done something wrong somewhere that caused the other character to betray them. what comes after confusion may be anger. your character can be angry at the person who betrayed them and at themself, after they think they’ve done something wrong that resulted in them being betrayed, they may also be angry at themself next for ‘falling’ for the lies and for ‘being fooled’. so yes, betrayal can leave your character with the hatred that’s directed towards the character who betrayed them and themself. whether or not your character can ‘move on and forgive’ is up to you.

there are several ways a character can react to anger; they can simply lash out, break things, scream and yell, or they can also go complete silent. no shouting, no thrashing the place. they can sit alone in silence and they may cry. anger does make people cry. it mostly won’t be anything like ‘ugly sobbing’ but your character’s eyes can be bloodshot, red-rimmed and there will be tears, only that there won’t be any sobbing in most cases.

hopelessness can be a very valid reason for it, if you want your character to do something reckless or stupid. most people will do anything if they’re desperate enough. so if you want your character to run into a burning building, jump in front of a bullet, or confess their love to their archenemy in front of all their friends, hopelessness is always a valid reason. there’s no ‘out of character’ if they are hopeless and are desperate enough.

fear and anxiety. your character may be trembling, their hands may be shaky. they may lose their appetite. they may be sweaty and/or bouncing their feet. they may have a panic attack if it’s severe enough.

and I think that’s it for now! feel free to add anything I may have forgotten to mention here!