The Chorb

That's Just Creepy (Batkid blurb)

I just thought of this random blurb after seein and I thought it was a funny idea to write about. Also yes I am alive somehow.

reader's gender neutral/race not identified*

*SPECIAL NOTE: all of my child fics/daughter/son/sibling fics will be with an adopted reader and not a biological one. Biological would mean that half of these parents/couples would be mixed, so no I won’t be doing biological. Especially when it comes to predominantly white characters*

pairing(s): Bruce Wayne/Batman x Child!Reader

warning(s): I don't even know lol, father and child moment that I thought was funny, now looking back it though I'm kind of regretting it.

Proofread: hell no

They all sat at the table, a rare occurrence within the family.

Dick sat next to Jason, talking the younger sibling’s ear off, despite them protesting how much they “didn’t care” about the oldest and his adventures.

Duke watched Jason slowly unfold, amused but also scooting a bit away from the white streaked man. He did not want to be a target of whatever Jason was about to do next.

Damian and Tim sat next to one another on opposite sides of their older family. were They would usually wind up next to each other, but were moved after starting an argument, ending with Cassandra being moved between the two (per Alfred's request).

As the boy was forced to switch spots, you remained next to Bruce. He was too busy focused on settling the family down that he didn't seem to hear your question.

Sighing, you poked at Damian, who had taken Cassandra's place and now glared over. He smacked the arm 'assaulting' him, earning an 'ow' from you.

"What?" he asked, bothered at the fact his dinner was being disrupted by the youngest, adopted, Wayne. Shrugging at the boy, you calmly stated, "I just have a question..."

Rolling his eyes, Damian picked up his fork to focus back on his food, "I don't care. Leave me alone and stop—"

"When can I marry someone?"

The entire table got quiet. Spoons and knives were put down, staring wide-eyed at the smallest Wayne. Dick stopped his speaking and turned to look at the youngest sibling. Even Duke had paused from holding back Jason, who had also stopped his planned attack on Dick.

Bruce slowly turned to face his youngest. No. It couldn't Now fully turned to them, the child's smile radiated nothing but pure innocence. Happy to have their father's attention being one reason, and now that they might get their question answered.

However, they quickly noticed all the siblings attention as well, making the child's smile into a straight line. Picking their fingers seemed like an interesting concept to the youngest suddenly.

It was Alfred who broke the awkward silence. Clearing his throat, he asked calmly, "What would be the reason for such a question, Mx. (Y/N)?" Bruce thanked whatever heavens there were that the butler stepped in. The man was still in shock and wouldn't know how to even respond to his child.

Meanwhile said child merely shrugged, not noticing the tiny blush that had settled across their cheeks. The silence grew louder, waiting for them to further elaborate. Picking up the fork and poking at a potato, they managed to mumble something out.

"Jus' curious is all..."

"Why?"

You turned to face the person who asked you again. It was Damian. Answering the same with a shrug, "I-I said I was jus' wondering is all—" The boy didn't seem satisfied with the response. Just as he was about to demand you tell him more, Duke interrupted.

"...Where'd um...did this sudden interest peak, (Y/N)?" he asked cautiously. Everyone's attention was still on the small child, who sheepishly scratched their arm in embarrassment. "Well...you see, there's this kid at school and..."

Everyone flinched and stared at Jason, who had now stood up with his palms flat against the table, eyes set in a hard stare. Alfred was about to scold the man when the Dick and Tim stood up as well.

Cue everyone shouting at the same time. You couldn't even decipher who's voice was who. Feeling overwhelmed, no one noticed the small child leave the table from arguing back and forth on what they were going to do about it.

"I'll hack into (Y/N)'s school files. From there we'll figure out the name of all the students, and which one's our sibling is friends with, then we'll—"

"That's just creepy."

"Don't be a creep, Drake. What we need to do is wait for (Y/n) after school, seek the child and—"

"Oh, so that doesn't sound creepier?"

"Look we just gotta find the munchkin and tell em' to keep away from (Y/N)."

Duke rubbed his temple while Cassandra watched on amused. "Guys, I'm sure it's not that serious. It's just a childish crush—" Jason cut him off, "Childish crush? Our sibling already asked us when they could marry the fucker!"

Duke knew he was poking a bear, but he didn't care. "They didn't even mention anything about—"

"What the fuck else could they have meant?!"

Cassandra almost spit out her drink from laughing.

It was Alfred and Bruce who noticed your lack of presence. Standing up to follow, Bruce left the rest of his children to bicker. Motioning a gesture to Alfred, he received a nod as well as a mouthed 'go' from the butler. He knew the older man would be able to handle the group.

Arriving at the youngest's bedroom, Bruce knocked a few times before slowly opening the door, "(Y/N)?" he spoke quietly.

Peeking inside, he saw them huddling next to a pile of stuffed animals in the corner, almost blending in with the stuffed characters. The image made him chuckle before asking, "Can I come in?"

The child grumbled a small, "Yeah..."

Bruce smiled softly before sitting down on the bed. He dwarfed it in size, which would make anyone hold in a laugh at the sight before them.

Picking up the banana plushie on ground (you had begged Jason to win it for you at a carnival), he played around with it before motioning to his youngest, patting a free area next to him, or at least what space was left.

Escaping the pile of stuffed animals, his child now sat next to him. Laying a hand on their shoulder, Bruce asked, "What was that about, (Y/N)?"

They looked away from their father, embarrassed. He looked on and waited patiently. The small child huffed and slowly turned around. Bruce thought of what might even be the right thing to say in this situation.

"Do you like someone?"

The youngest Wayne turned and shot him a look of disgust with their wide eyes, "Gross! No!"

Their father blinked, now confused. "But...but I thought because you. What?"

"I don't like anyone!"

"Then...why did you ask—"

"I..." they took a small breath before continuing, "I was asking because something happened at school." Bruce couldn't even think of any possible scenarios. Not interrupting, he let them continue on.

"—and then since we were playing 'house .my friends needed a 'mom' and a 'dad'. So we got married to continue playing. But I told my friend I wasn't old enough so then..." Bruce wanted to slap himself at what he was hearing.

Rubbing his temples, he struggled to form a sentence. "So...you married someone at recess?"

"Technically lunch time."

"Right..."

Scooting closer to their father, they asked, "Are you mad at me?" Bruce answered simply by kissing their child's head followed by a hug.

This literally makes no sense and is so stupid lol. IDK why i even posted this LMAO

I love this

you WILL look at the cookies wife and I have made