🎶 I’m Feeling Really Lightheaded Right Now 🎶

my special talent is every time i join a fandom i always like the characters nobody fucks with like AT ALL.

i don’t mean to do it, trust me i hate not seeing any fanworks of my favs.

but i join a fandom and the characters i always take a liking to are always the characters the fandom dgaf about.

same thing goes with ships

i’ll be like three episodes in or just getting into the main storyline and i’ll think “omg these characters are so cute tg” or “i like their dynamic what would their ship look like”

and then i go to the fandom online and find out that the fandom either

a) doesn’t care for the ship at all

or b) ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY HATES IT WANTS ALL OF ITS FANS TO ROT AND BURN IN HELL!! IN HELL!!!!

sometimes c) some people like it but the popular version of their dynamic and i don’t like/agree with.

i DONT KNOW how this happens or why it’s so common for it to happen to me.

RELEASE ME!!!!

i wish his va wasnt into Scientology

lil gender (ig?) dysphoria vent ^__^

worst part about being unlabeled (mainly because labels are uncomfortable to you) for me is that my feelings towards gender identity are fluid—so much so that i used to be genderfluid and pronounfluid but all the labels were confusing.

I felt like I was constantly boxing my identity instead of living it to the fullest. (if that makes sense?)

The thing is—when you say you’re “unlabeled” (in which i sometimes feel dysphoric for labeling the term and other times not)

people usually opt for all gender neutral terminology, and I have nothing against gender neutral terms, like I said my feelings are fluid which in itself is so annoying.

because like?? one moment i’m like “this is it, I’m actually just [label] i’ve finally figured myself out” and then my feelings change.

i genuinely have NO CLUE why i’m like this, and it’s frustrating, i do stay with genderfluid crowds when i’m having these issues but even then I don’t want to label myself—especially when my feelings change and it makes me feel dysphoric.

but back to what i was saying, i have nothing against gender neutral terms, and also like i said I sometimes prefer them. but sometimes when it’s ONLY and STRICTLY gender neutral terms i feel dysphoric because sometimes i don’t feel gender neutral.

but i feel uncomfortable hounding anyone about my gender identity (and it’s shifts (and because i mainly have a white cishet christian conservative community and i’d rather not be publicly outed and shamed)) so i just sit through the dysphoria.

i just hate not knowing, i hate it fluctuating and i hate not having a solid feeling about my gender. i look at other lgbtq people in the community who seem like they have it all figured out—hell i look at other genderfluid people who also look like they have it all figured out too—but i don’t.

there’s not much i can do, and i know people will say (as they always have) that it’s a phase—which is like

1) life is all a bunch of phases

2) what do i do when my phases constantly change and have been changing most of my life?

i don’t expect to be accommodated 24/7 about this—trust me it’d be nice but i understand there are people in need who’s priorities are higher in which i want them to be accommodated first before anyone else.

i just dream of the day i have a small close knit group of other people who not only relate but are able to help validate me through my identity.

this might also be a relevant time to wonder if i may have autism or adhd. not saying that i have either

(although i’ve been getting close to self diagnosed and i’ve been wanting a screening for awhile)

or that having either is in any way inherent connected to my feelings in general—but i have a hunch,, suspicion,, dare i say hope? to maybe explain it all to me?

sorry if i don’t make sense this is just me rambling :>

i try to dip my toes in the dbh fandom, and then i get reminded on why i don’t.

i’m just gonna stick to the tiktok edits for now 👽

BUZZCUT KENNY I AM SO HERE FOR

this is cringe just bare w me ☝️😔

who took this video of my phone ☹️

hi tumblr

just found out my ex blocked me and all other accounts made on my device

time to pull out my ipad 😁

motivating me to learn my family’s native tongue

Hindi is not difficult. reading in Hindi is not difficult. writing in Hindi is not difficult. counting in Hindi is not difficult. Hindi numbers are not difficult (१२३४५६७८९०). alphabets क्ष,ष,फ are not difficult. you just consume, are surrounded by and have been taught english and the latin alphabets way more than your native language and script use some sense

(this goes for any language not just hindi btw)

No idea how someone can handle being around humans 24/7 like its so fucking exhausting

(Spoilers for the sonic 3 movie!!)

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how sonic 3 should’ve ended instead of killing off robotnik and shadow

live footage of shadow getting adopted (he did not agree to this)