Shine Normal Like A Plain Rock

Fucked up that you have to go to work during the winter. Should be curled up in a little nest with several months' supply of food stocked up right now.

my twenty one.... piloted.......

Consider my veil... Pierced...

earlier today one of my friends informed me that tornadoes can happen at night and that is SO MUCH SCARIER I never even CONSIDERED they could do that at night- a huge vortex of unfeeling wind killing and destroying with no discretion AND IT CAN HAPPEN IN THE DARK?????? WHILE I'M SLEEPING !!???!!!!!?! FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK THIS

he wouldnt hurt a fly. he would hurt other things he just really likes bugs

infinity and three now i guess

The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.

Hey don't cry. You exist at the same time as the elvisverse. Everything will be okay

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

My wife and I have a little game we play called "Speaking From Ignorance."

To play Speaking From Ignorance, all you need is a phone with a voice recorder, and another person who knows considerably more or considerably less about a topic than you do. The topic can be anything: from "how to bake a quiche" to "what happens in the Peter Jackson Hobbit movies" to "who is Florence Pugh" to "how does the traveling salesman problem work." All that matters is that one of you has a firm grasp on the material, and one of you absolutely the fuck does not.

Then the person who knows about the topic turns on the recorder, and says to the person who knows barely anything: "Hey - tell me everything you think you know about [X]."

The speaker is then not allowed to ask any questions. Nor is the expert allowed to volunteer any information. The expert is allowed to pipe up with a faintly incredulous "Oh--really? Do you--do you think so?" from time to time, but for the most part, the expert's job is just to sit there and make encouraging sounds while the speaker digs their own grave.

This is never not funny.

The reason you record it is because, very often, the first thing the speaker wants to do after finishing the recording is find out how you actually make a quiche, or whatever. Then you both get to go back and listen to how wrong they were.

We have a small library now of Speaking From Ignorance recordings, and I'm going to be listening to them until I'm eighty.