The First Time I Heard An Adult Say The F Word Was When I Was In Fourth Grade And We Were Doing Some

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

prophecy class cancelled due to foreseen circumstances

Happy TDOV ^^

yuppie getting a tarot reading: the Death card? does that mean i’m gonna die?

tarot reader: not necessarily, Death represents transformation. it could involve some real strife, but in fact it often indicates things turning around for the better. i mean, we’re barely two years into the new millennium, and with the economy increasingly globalizing i can reasonably predict big changes in your particular career, possibly even great fortune!

yuppie: oh hell yeah man

*the tarot reader draws another card*

tarot reader: oh. The Tower. mhm. that’s… yeah. interesting. ok.

*the tarot reader draws the next card, places it beside the previous one, and silently stares at both*

yuppie: …are there supposed to be two of those?

hot take: if i can download music for offline use on amazon music, i should be able to just get the mp4 files instead of having to pirate anything

Reblog if you stand against order, civilization, and goodness itself

highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.

oh my god god god god god my dad just tried to complain about me wearing earrings with ghosts on them because they're "not very festive" so i said Well Actually ghosts are very appropriate for christmastime and he said tell you what if you can show me a single christmas themed thing that has ghosts in it i won't say another word about your fashion choices this entire holiday. i Promise. so i got him to lean in realllllll close as i opened up the browser app on my phone and slowly began to type "A CHRISTMAS CAROL" while the blood rapidly drained from his face.