THE SIGNS AS FAMILY MEMBERS

THE SIGNS AS FAMILY MEMBERS

Aries is the baby of the family. They can’t stop screaming, can’t stop crying, and they never sleep. When they’re upset, everyone must be upset too. Nevertheless they’re very charming and always get their way with people.

Taurus is your aunt in her mid-thirties with no kids. She has flings sometimes, but she prefers the lack of emotional attachment. She looks like she’s still in her twenties and works from home since cooking and gardening are her true loves.

Gemini is your seven year old nephew. He comes home from school and he’s so excited to share his newfound knowledge with his family. He wears glasses and has a chipped tooth, because he’s always pulling dumb stunts. He gets straight A’s on his report card, but his teacher always complains about him talking too much.

Cancer is the newly-wed, pregnant mom. She’s hormonal, she’s flushed, and she’s stressed, but she’s so full of life. She’s got a lot going on and she manages to keep it together. She loves children and baking, and she gives the best advice.

Leo is your 14-year old cousin. He’s caught between worlds. On one side he’s selfish and arrogant and a brat, and on the other he’s kind and protective. He wears a mask of confidence while the world beneath him is changing.

Virgo is the tired, single mother of many. Her patience is worn thin and she swears she’s cleaned this bathroom more than three times today. Before being wound so tightly, she was a writer living a fantasy life, but she preferred independence.

Libra is your 19 year old cousin you see at your family reunion and you ask her for makeup advice. She’s nice on the surface but with a biting sarcasm to boot. She’s never dated anyone for very long, she can’t seem to make up her mind.

Scorpio is your 21 year old brother of your cousin. He’s got dark eyes and he’s trying to get into med school despite him nearly flunking freshman year. You ask him about his friends, and he says he doesn’t have many. He’s too busy chasing down his dreams to try to make up for the past.

Sagittarius is your family friend that says he hasn’t seen you since you were a wee child. He’s brought you some obscure artifact from his latest travels which you’re pretty sure he obtained illegally. He later proceeds to get drunk and offer you marijuana.

Capricorn is your stern grandmother. She’s raised many kids under her iron hand. She’s tough but fair. She’ll always have cookies when you come over but she’ll reprimand you for having too many. When she was younger, she was a successful, self-made businesswoman. 

Aquarius is your 30 year old brother. He never had much motivation, but earns a decent living from being a writer and blogger. He’s the funniest guy in your family, if anyone could ever understand his jokes. He keeps trying to talk to you about how 9/11 was an inside job, and you try to explain memes to him.

Pisces is your 18 year old sister. She just transferred colleges and decided she needed a change. She’s constantly cutting and dyeing her hair in attempts to find her real self. She drinks tons of tea and is vegan, but you’re pretty sure she still eats Chicken Nuggets.