Love Your Smirk And The Smile In Your Eyes,

Happy birthday Vincent wherever you are 🌈🎈🎁🧸Today is our sons birthday. He would have turned 14 and i often wonder how he would have been, looked and sounded like. This time of year is extra tough and all the memories of what we went through back then comes alive again. The song Ronan by @taylorswift describes my feelings and thoughts so well and it helps me cry even when I feel I have no more tears left. I don’t even comprehend how she manages to sing it without breaking down. I’m so grateful to you for this song❤️today we light a lot of candles in his colourful glasbottles hanging in the apple tree we planted in his memory. #hlhs #angel #loosingachild #ronan #taylorswift

The best alarm for waking up at 6 am ever!!! I will finally get to listen to 1989 (Taylor’s version)

Today all my employees were back after their summer holidays. So to get a fresh start I’ve been planning a day of really fun activities together with team building exercises. What they don’t know is that I’ve already this week started giving them hints and Easter eggs to solve the puzzle next week. Today for example we had a music quiz (Taylor’s version). It was so rewarding because several of especially the men were surprised that is was Taylor singing all those songs. They were really amazed by her talent and said that they needed to go home and listen more during the weekend. They even admitted that they were sorry that they had preconceived ideas about her before. This day is soooo fun to plan and I’m looking forward to it so much!!

@taylorswift the community you’ve created is amazing. So inspiring, educating, loving and wonderful. A mesmerising feeling that hundreds of Millions of people all support you in the name of love and acceptance. What a force💪🏻 together we can achieve anything !!!!💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤🩷🤍🧡💙

Today I’ve been looking at photos of our son and thinking of him a lot. Now its about one week til his birthday. This time of year is extra hard because it’s brings up so many memories. After dinner this evening is was loading the washing machine when Ronan by @taylorswift started playing on my phone and I broke down completely. Crying like never before in a pile at the floor. It has always felt like a really sad song but today the words reminded me more than ever of the son we lost. Sometimes I really need too cry like this to heal. Thank you Taylor for all the music you’ve created that helps me sort my feelings when I need to. 🙏🏻❤️

Another day healing by listening to the lyrics in all of my favourite swift songs. Her voice and wide range truly do resonate with the life changing healing in my mind.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

Today hoax and epiphany long pond session is on repeat 🎧

This is so true!!!

girls don’t want the eras tour movie in theaters girls want it on streaming so they can watch it on repeat and cry

On the kids list of things they wanted to do this summer. Fish and cook outside while listening to Taylor swift

The second i realised it was possible to preorder from sweden I placed my order. 🙏🏻 I’m so happy , have been dancing around my kitchen floor singing my favourite 1989 songs for hours🙌🏻 can’t wait for it to arrive late October. ❤️ @taylorswift I’m so proud of you for re-recording the stolen versions. So inspiring to see you fight back when they tried to take you for granted. Will support you and your clever businessdecisions for ever. Truly happy for you that you finally will own them all soon. 🥂

Today I couldn’t wait any longer I had to listen to some Christmas music. Got so much energy and creativity going. In my dream @taylorswift will release som new Christmas songs this year 🙏🏻🌲

How I try healing and coping through @taylorswift ‘s music after loosing a child part 2

We lived really close to the hospital and we arrived there in under five minutes. It’s now around 9 am. The nurses behind the glass looked at us and just continued talking to each other. Finally they came out and asked us to follow them into a examination room. We got him out of his car seat and put him on the table. As soon as we laid him down he collapsed and the nurse picked him up and ran inte to another room. We run after and in the matter of seconds several doctors and nurses came running in the room working on him. We just stood there in the back of the room frozen by terror not knowing what’s happening. After a few seconds one of the doctors turnes around and says. Just so you know, he might not make it. Then we both fell into a pile on the floor not even being able to breathe.

In what seems like forever they managed to get him back and after getting the hold of all necessary equipment they tell us they are going to try to move him to the ICU.

Now they do a really thorough search of what’s causing this. And after several tests, ultrasounds and X-rays they find that he has a birth defect on his heart called hlhs. We find out that several of the hearts bloodvessels are to narrow and connected the wrong way. It Also means that the left chamber of his heart is severely underdeveloped. He also has a hole between to parts of the heart.

They inform us that to have a chance he needs to be transferred by helicopter to the other side of the country to a hospital were they specialises in children’s heart diseases and there he will need the first of many heart surgery’s immediately. That if every thing checks out he will have 95% chance of a long life just not like a professional athlete. It will be a struggle with many surgeries to fix the heart and then most likely a heart transplant in his 20,s. We’re also told that we most likely will have to live at the hospital the entire family for his first 8-10 months. So now all we have to do is to wait for the helicopter to arrive so that they can move him as soon as possible.

The hours went by and when we wouldn’t stop asking they finally tell us that their sorry but the helicopter hasn’t passed the i inspection and hasn’t been granted permission to fly. They continue testing several times but it just don’t pass the inspection.

Now even the doctors are getting really concerned and tell us that he really needs to be moved because they aren’t used to treat so small children with such a severe condition’s . Now they start to gather an expert team through videoconference with experts from the entire country. They decide he needs to be moved immediately to the closest specialist hospital if he is going to have a chance surviving the night.

I get to see them loading him in to an specialistambulance and then they put me in a taxi. We drove really fast for about 1 hour. The taxi stayed right behind the ambulance the entire time. We arrived at the next hospital around midnight. And now their experts were working every minute with him to get him to survive until the helicopter would be granted to fly.

To be continued