I Wanna Know Who The Fuck Told The GCPD My Name Was Bird Bitch

Girls gays and non binary baes, Please raise your hand if in favor of defunding the GCPD and using the money to help kids in Gotham 🙋🏻

Kookaburra enjoying itself

So I play lots of video games, and I ENJOY lots of video games. Here’s the problem.

I’m a shit shot. I cannot, for the LIFE of me, aim a virtual gun. Now I still have options. Games that don’t require guns, Minecraft and other creative games, etc.

but once in a while, I like to play games like TF2. But I don’t wanna drag my team down with my bad aim. So what do I do? Healers. I try to be a healer of the team. And can I just say, for someone who just threw a tantrum because the didn’t have the common sense to MOVE OUT THD WAY WHEN YOUR GETTING SHOT AT, y’all be talking mad shit to your healers. NEWS FLASH, we can let you die. We’re nog bound to heal you. We determine whether your dumb ass live or dies. Respect your fucking healers

My phone just closed the 8 safari tabs I had open completely unprompted and I’m going to SCREAM

It’s me, ya boi

GOTHAMITES IF YOU SEE THIS YOU HAVE TO MAKE A PICREW OF YOURSELF RN HERES THE LINK https://picrew.me/image_maker/1170750

HERES MINE😎

Hey the next time you wanna commit a crime and then talk about it, don’t. Rats have connected words relating to homicide to food, and will not only tell all their friends about it, but the random fucker that can UNDERSTAND THEM

Look I’m not a snitch, but I know about way more than I’d like to. Pigeons are chatterbox’s, stray cats will spill for a decent bowl of food and a warm bed, and raccoons will sell you out for a literal corn chip.

My perfect mashed potatoes

The secret is in the water; literally, it’s IN the water.

See, when you boil potatoes, a lot of special starches and sugars and stuff leeches out into the water. When you drain the water before mashing them, you throw away a lot of good stuff, which is a big part of what makes mashed potatoes “dry” and bland, even when you add large amounts of cream and butter and things.

So don’t throw out any water.

Here’s how you do that:

First, cut your potatoes into smaller cubes than you probably do. (I’ve left the skins on for flavor and also, that’s where a lot of a potato’s nutrients are, like protien and iron and vitamins B and C, just to name a few)

The reason for cutting them smaller (besides avoiding giant peices of skin) is so that there is less space in the pot between each peice for water to fill, so you use less water to cook them. That’s important because you won’t be draining any water, so you can’t afford to have too much water! For the same reason, just barely cover them with water when they go on the stove.

But! Before you do that, put the pot on the stove with some butter, garlic, and seasonings; let the butter start to sizxle just a little then put most of a single layer of potatoes in the pan and let the brown and sear. Turn them, brown them on all sides, get ‘em fairly dark (I forgot to get a pic here because I was worried I’d burn the butter).

Ready? now throw the rest of the potatoes in right on top, and add your water, give them a stir. This way, you’re boiling in some of that lovely fried potato/french fry flavor.

Okay, so, as they cook, you may need to add a little water, not too much! ideally the very highest piece of potato will be poking just above the surface. Now, when your potatoes are really really soft, mash them directly into the water. Just pull them off the stove, leave all the water in, and start mashing. Trust me. At first you’ll think there’s too much water. If you get them mashed and they ARE a little too liquidy, just put ‘em back on the stove. You’ll have to stir often or constantly, but they will steam off additional water without losing any good stuff.

Now add some salt, and taste. Right?! And you haven’t even put in any cream or cheese or anything yet.

Speaking of which, you can use like, a third of the amount of butter or cream or anything, and they will still taste better than usual. So they taste better AND they are higher in nutrients AND lower in fats and salts! That’s a lot of win — enjoy your potatoes!

Fuck Columbus! Indigenous Rights! And happy Thanksgiving!

October is almost here, and everyone knows what that means!

Stay away from Spirit Halloween

Good news: I had my big debut!

Bad news: I used a stupid one liner

So I was in a supermarket buying bread for the pigeons, and was at the front when a guy pulled a gun and was robbing the register. Typical Gotham. He gets the money, and something hit his hand and the gun fell near me. Now everyone in Gotham knows how to use a pistol. So I pick it up, point it at him, and asked that he give me the money. He does, and I go “welp, gotta fly!”

GOTTA FLY. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME HOLY FUCK

but good news I’ve got an outfit in the works!

Update: THAT SOMETHING WAS A BASEBALL FUCKING LUCKY THREW HE WAS TRYING TO HELP ME

Pretty sure I just saw Harley Quinn beat what MIGHT have been joker quite literally into the concrete with a chair, but it’s hard to make out a face under the blood