Forget About Touching Grass, I Need To Touch THE SEA I NEED TO GO INTO THE WATER I NEED TO DIVE INTO

Salomé 1919 by Max Oppenheimer

i wish i could let them know that i'm not thin, not even close to it. i feel fuller every day and nothing is stopping me because i think i might be healing but i don't think those who heal get destructive thoughts like this and i don't mind being the enemy and contrarian of my own mind because it only reminds me how sick i am and i love knowing how sick i am, it makes me feel worse and i know that i achieved my goal but sometimes i feel alone because who could i really talk to about this who would understand and cradle my face in their hands and plant kisses on my forehead and tell me that they'll look after me forever and i'll never have to feel like this ever again

reading sex is sooo much more fun than watching sex

walking my turtle

"she wasn't your person, your person is still out there and you'll find her when you least expect it" okay what if she was my person and i lost her forever

if i wake up one day and i wasn't sick anymore i wouldn't know who i am

thinking about that quote by anne carson, "I am someone who did not die when I should have died." and yeah. im wandering the earth with an empty heart and a filled mind like a sick little ghost. it hurts even more when i dont fit into the atmosphere around me and everything feels drowsy and unsettled. im not meant to be here i was meant to disperse and dissolve and disappear years ago and u can tell because i dont fit into this world. im not part of this world like everyone else. im too empty to care and live and love

BEFORE SUNRISE (1995) dir. Richard Linklater

i adore the thought of soulmates in every century/world/universe/life/forever but they aren't lovers every time. like in some worlds they are just a dog and a person and that's okay. in another— a cat and a butterfly that landed on its nose, a young person who befriends an older person, a fisherman and a mermaid they catch, a pirate and their squawking parrot, two orcas communicating from miles away, whatever. doesnt matter cause its always you. it will always be you and yes theres reincarnation's random surprises but ill take any form of you, as much of you as possible and expect you in my life always and anyways