The Food In Little Forest (2018) Looked So Good. It Looked Good In A Way That Reminded Me Of Home, In

i just want. i just want something that fills me up so my heart isnt empty anymore

"everything i've ever let go of has claw marks on it" is so real because yeah i'll be the best if you let me but try to take it away from me and i'll claw my way up until my fingers bleed and even then i'll keep clawing and clawing and clawing because i don't know how else to be. i'll carry your remains under my fingernails if that's the only way i can have you. how do i be nonchalant when someone is leaving me behind, how do i accept that betrayal?

constantly grieving over what i went through and how i made up for myself

“your my best friend, now i’ve got no one to tell i’ve lost my best friend.”

….

finding old accounts is like finding proof u really did exist two years ago which is like yeah i know i did but that me from two years ago was me and i was her and that makes it so disgustingly weird yet endearing yet everything wrong with the world because i hate to be perceived and who else to judge u harder than ur future self who is wiser (slightly) and knows more (not really)? so i feel a little sick but also, she was such a silly girl. just a silly lost sad angry girl

sometimes i just feel this crumbled up piece of paper in my stomach and it wont go away and instead my mouth gets dry and im scared of everything and the next day seems so far away and im choking on my own fears and not sure if ill make it through

i just want to be in my mommy's arms right now

i have this distinct need to make myself the smallest in a room because i always take up too my space with my loud voice. i talk loudly and flail my hands around because i don't know how to control myself in front of other people. so maybe, if the bones in my body shrunk and i lost more than eighty percent of my fat then my voice would shrink with me and i would match the tone of the normal people in the room. maybe then i can not only look at myself in the mirror and be happy, i can also listen to my own voice and avoid wanting to claw out my vocal chords. i'll feel normal i think

thinking about this