“Incredible. You follow one idiot question with another.”
— Tony, definitely
reminder that this blog, while not politically focused, supports BLM. bootlickers and racists aren’t welcome here, and never will be.
Where are those woke white people at!?
my first time requesting im sorry if it sounds really bad or cringe ehehsbbejrr
how do you think Simon would react to someone who has a seashell collection they are v e r y overprotective of and they give him one of the seashells because they trust him???
selling seashells by the seashore? nope!
synopsis: what the ask said! + a bit more because i started to really get into it
warnings: fluff, sfw, gn! reader, established relationship, marriage, a glimpse into simon's private life, soap being soap
a/n: i’m literally on an island rn and i’m pretty sure this seagull is screaming at me so i thought this would be very fitting 😝
Simon definitely has his pockets filled, only with Moroccan sand and shells and rocks and…possibly a starfish? It’s not much, but truly it’s honest work when it comes to him picking up and inspecting every shell or sea cookie there is out here on this damn beach. Soap hollers at him from a few yards away, hand beckoning for him to come over.
“Ain’t this one a big ol' Lad?” Johnny says with his hand on his hip and the other pointing down at a huge mollusk, it’s opal and rainbowed color shone in the blazing sun.
The taller one smiled behind his mask and grunted as his knees popped, reaching down to pick it up. With a knife, he poked and prodded into whatever was in it, which was now just a dead, sandy mess at his feet. “Pretty, then again, anything prettier than your face, Johnny.”
Soap glared at him, “Yeah, at least I have a face.”
Simon missed you terribly. Miles and miles away, he just thinks about how his lovely spouse is on their daily walk down the beach, trading and finding pretty shells to show him once he gets back. You two do this every time he comes home. After a few days of resting (with mostly Simon either shutting off in his own room or hiding his face in the crook of your neck in your shared room), you sit him down on the kitchen table and pull out your beach bag to debrief about the new shells. Each one with a different story attached to it and each one you wanted to share and love.
“I got this one from a fisherman that caught it in his net when he went fishing in the Bahamas!” You showed him a huge, pink and white conch shell that was larger than both your hands combined.
Simon smiled at you and took your prized possession from your hands and inspected the shiny finishing of it. “You weren’t at the Bahamas, Lovie, what did you do to get it?”
“Oh I traded a hermit crab shell for his nephew’s crab.” You said fondly, petting the shell that looked normal sized in his own hands.
Simon pockets the large nautilus shell into his bag somewhere and feels his breast pocket for the small, spiral shell that you’ve gifted him. It was his birthday, the day you saw his toothy grin for the first time.
You had found a beautiful, black, spiral shell the size of a blade. Taking it home, you filed the tip into it was sharp enough to cut through…something, you thought. You don’t know what he exactly would cut, but it’ll come in handy right?
He cried that day when you sheepishly offered him this small gift box, a silver bow resting on the top of it. After you calmed him down and held onto his arm, he opened it and a goofy smile replaced his tears.
“I sharpened it, it’s like a…like uhm a shank?” You said, rather confused actually.
Your husband snorts at your reasoning and picks up the lustrous black shell into his hands. He examines it closely, spinning and turning it in his fingers to make it shine in different angles. With the hard padding of his index finger he grazed the tip of the shell, and sure enough, it was sharp. Simon huffs a laugh to himself thinking about how he could potentially use this as his next melee weapon.
“Do you…like it?” You ask him hesitantly, sitting across from him on the couch. Your own hand fidgeted with each other as you pull and push on your knuckles, making them pop gently.
The large man in front of you looks up at you, eyes a bit wide in confusion. A small gasp is heard from the parting of his lips and he softens his gaze, looking at you fully. He didn’t laugh at you, he laughed at himself. “It’s silly…to be killed with a seashell, hmm?”
Large hands found yours as he abandoned the shell temporarily on the safe coffee table. He kisses your forehead. “Of course I love it, my sea star…best gift ever.”
Simon knew that it wasn’t just a gift from his spouse that day. No that’d be too simple, and his life is anything but. That was a piece of you, your love for him manifesting in such a small, delicate object. To break it, was to break a piece of you…and you would raise hell if he did.
His face settled on a slightly less disgruntled face under his mask as he looked off into the coast. With a pat on the breast pocket of his vest, he pondered to himself, ‘This time, it’ll be different.’ This time he has his own collection to present to you. This time he knows you’ll be even more excited than that time you found a perfectly round sand dollar when he shows you these little treasures. Maybe this time you’ll even scream when he shows you this dried starfish.
But one thing’s for sure, he’ll come home to you after all this. And one day, there’ll be no more war, no more bloodshed, just two old spouses sitting on the beach, the sun rising steadily, and a wall of shells from coasts all around the world.
I’ll never forget that one time I was talking to this boy and I rejected him (mind you I almost gave him my address because we were supposed to go out) and he stalked and harassed me for an entire month and put my number on Craigslist (I was getting hundreds of calls and texts every day to the point my phone stopped working).
Men are crazy.
pink reqs againnnbb 🫶🏻
ghost having to wear one of the pink shirts reader bought him because all of his clothes are in the washer, then accidentally sees someone he knows from the team in public 💗💗🫶🏻
MWAHAHHAHA
It was horrible.
A pink hello kitty shirt you got for him so he could match with you.
And he had to go to the store
You know what? Times have changed he doesn't have shit to worry about
Until he did
"Oi Ghost!"
Fucking hell.
What was Soap doing here??
The last thing he wanted was for anyone he knew to see him in this shirt.
He'd never hear the end of it
"Dinnae expect to see ye here, could have seen ye a mile away with that fuckin' shirt"
"You're just jealous you don't have a partner to get you a shirt like this"
"Ye seem to love her very much"
"Dinnae ignore me now, Ghost"
Ghost sighed
"What are you even doing here in England, Johnny?"
"Came to visit you, and visit you I did"
"You don't know my address"
"Your partner does"
He sighed.
Of course Johnny managed to contact you.
"Ye should take me home with ye, I'm gonna find a way in anyway!"
This was going to be a long day.
Woke in the middle of the night earlier this week and couldn’t sleep again for four hours and at some point in my rotisserie insomnia I apparently shoved the phrase that was rotating in my brain into a phone note
Tony: You’re really quiet…?
Bucky: Nobody plans a murder out loud.
This is so fucking amazing to me.