Sometimes I Just Start Singing And My Mom Joins In

Car sex just got a helluva lot easier.

THE FEDS RETREAT.

This is so fucking amazing to me.  

there were dragons when I was a boy

Peter: I don’t feel so good… Alexa, play ‘Another one bites the dust’.

i was at the zoo and just kind of vagueing out leaning on a rail and watching the duck pond and in the background a kid started yelling “he’s coming for you! he’s coming for you!!” and i thought it was some game she was playing with her family or something up until i felt a little hand grab my elbow and looked down to see this tiny wide-eyed child staring up at me with the world’s most serious expression and she said in a solemn voice

“he’s here for you”

and something reached out and grabbed my other hand

it turns out that a resident cockatoo has figured out that if it just waddles back and forth along the rail it can get the maximum amount of attention and headskritches with the minimum amount of flying and objectively this is very cute but at the same time this was very nearly the way that a grown adult died of a heart attack at the zoo

The Heat

Jake Sully x Na'vi Reader

Summary: based off this post

Warning: over-stimulation, squirting

3rd person pov

The sloshing noise were starting to make your head sore, your gaze had started to fill with tiny little black dots and your moans and whimpers became dull and whispered because of your sore throat.

It didn't matter how much you begged and pleaded this isn't him it was his heat cycle that was making him like this if you weren't so sore and dizzy you'd be enjoying this but it's been hours.

Hours of him fingering and licking you, him bursing your ass with each of his ruthless thrusts "ma jake" I chocked out my hands digging into the dirt as he fucked me.

I was hunting for food when he caught me, at first I didn't understand what was happening he wasn't speaking he just had his hands on my body and a lustful gaze but if I knew what was gonna happen I would've run.

"Yes princess" he growled grabbing a tight hold my hips and trusting me back into him making him go deeper "fuck" I cried out as tears started streaming down my face.

"P-please" I begged I couldn't take it anymore it felt as if I'll pass out any second "aww princess if you wanted more you could've just asked" he chuckled darkly .

As I was about to protest he started rubbing my clit and instead of words coming out my mouth a breathy moan did making him laugh more.

I felt as if I was about to lose my mind I couldn't think straight as another orgasm started to form in my stomach "that's it good girl" he groaned into my ear his hot breath making goosebumps arise on my neck.

His fingers started to rub my clit faster as I neared my orgasm "come on baby cum for me" and if on command I came spraying my cum onto the floor below me.

I cried out as jake filled me up "fuck baby you squirted" he laughed as he turned me over to lay on my back his cock never leaving me "n-no more" I pleaded which only made him chuckle.

"You can take one more can't you" he smirked his eyes still filled with lust and hunger I shook my head no "well even if you can't you will because that's what good girls do" he growled and grabbed my right leg and hoisted it over his shoulder.

He started thrusting and was hitting new angles making my eyes roll and tongue stick he chuckled darkly "such a fucking whore" he laughed as he moved his hands to fondle my breasts.

"S-stop" I cried out but he wasn't listening, my breathe began to shorten and my mind was becoming blank I squeezed my eyes shut as a knot again began to tighten in my stomach "c-cant c-um" I yelled out in pleasure.

"Yes you can" he muttered thrusting a bit faster my breath hitched as I felt his cock twitch inside me "you can do it" he growled before groaning out as he filled me up once more "fuck" I screamed as the knot broke.

But this time when I closed my eyes I fell asleep my body to tired an sore "aww poor baby" jake laughed pulling out of you and bit his lip as he eagerly watched his cum seep out of you.

"Such a good girl".

Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad

The red queen

Title: The Red Queen

Bad Bitches Bingo Square Filled: Royal AU

Written for: @badbitchesbingo​​​

Summary: You are the queen. No man dares to break your law. No one! Or – the true story of the red queen.

Pairing: Queen!Reader x Sarah Wilson; Queen!Reader x King!Steve Rogers; King!Steve Rogers x Lord!James Buchanan Barnes

Characters: Sam Wilson, Brock Rumlow, Wanda/Pietro Maximoff (mentioned), unnamed hangman

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 1,8 k

Warnings: angst, language, strong reader, characters death, violence (light), mentions of attempted sexual assault, misogyny, arranged marriage (implied), hiding your sexual orientation, bisexual reader, bisexual Steve Rogers, a hint of fluff

Divider by @firefly-graphics​​

2021 Bad Bitches Bingo masterlist

Keep reading

A Brooklyn woman applying for food stamps sat on the floor as no chairs were available. The NYPD came and forcibly pulled her ONE-YEAR-OLD son out of her arms. She faces multiple charges and is being held without bail on Rikers.

OMG that was horrible to watch. How is grabbing at a baby that way acceptable? She had no weapon and wasn’t a danger. They all need to be fired; the rest need retraining.

As a sidenote jigsaws are so underrated they can keep me busy for hours

R/n is definitely given jigsaws to do in every meeting their favourite is 100% the ikea jigsaw cause all the pieces are different sizes and shapes 🫧

The main reason why R/N is given a jigsaw is because they tend to ask dumb questions at the wrong time. Or sometimes, since they are too innocent for the images shown of dead civilians Price or Ghost hands them the puzzle.

Gaz: Then we have the images of-

Price and Ghost: Hold that thought

Price hands them the puzzle and r/n grins,

R/N: Puzzle time!!!!

Soap: they are a grown adult-

Ghost: Hush!