Guy Just Walked In With A Shirt That Said “I Don’t Question My Wife’s Choices Because I’m One

this reads like a lemony snicket book

Here’s the thing about men with earrings: not all men wearing earrings are men with earrings, and some men not wearing earrings are men with earrings. If you pick a dude off the street and give him earrings it will likely not make him a man with earrings, just a man wearing earrings. In order to be a man with earrings, the earrings must be an extension of the man.

the grief of seeing beauty all around you and feeling like a thunderous cloud right in the middle of it, because life is overcoming it’s cold affliction and you can’t seem to shake it

what yall know about the special kind of sadness that seems to come with spring

everyone younger than me is having a baby and everyone older than me has 3+ roommates and everyone the same age as me fell down a biiiiiiiiiiig flight of stairs

i seriously cannot comprehend the sex drive that makes one exclusively horny for captain america looking movie hunks or the victorias secret angel archetype of tall underweight women with generically pretty faces in bikinis. that shit is like carbon monoxide or infrasonic noise to my libido like my sexual senses cant even clock it

Arthur facing the KIY vs Arthur facing the Dark Young:

if low-rise pants have a million haters i am one of them . if low-rise pants have ten haters i am one of them. if low-rise pants have only one hater and that is me . if low-rise pants have no hater, that means i am no more on the earth . if world against high-waisted pants, i am against the world. i love #highwaistedpants till my last breath hope this helps

APRIL FOOLS >=) !!!!!!

save me green lesbians save me

sir, why are you still here? this place is a wasteland, what do you stand to gain by staying on this hellsite?

Absolutely nothing. That's its appeal.