If You Don't Have DID Maybe You're Not Gonna Fully Get The Innie Experience, Okay?

If you don't have DID maybe you're not gonna fully get the innie experience, okay?

watching this show as someone who is multiple and then reading y'alls takes about it is so incredibly frustrating like.....many of you can't seem to actually accurately empathize with the innie experience (and I guess that makes sense). the villification of mark and helly in the tag already is making me so sad.

but you don't understand what it's like. to constantly be told you're not important because you're not the one everyone on the outside knows. to be constantly told you're not real. to be condescended to like a child about your interests, your likes, your desires, the ways you show and want love. to be expected to be fine with having less of a life. to have your romantic interests deemed secondary or unimportant, to not be able to pursue the relationships you want.

to be told by people with power over you, over and over again, that you are a problem to be fixed, that smushing yourself into one reintegrated person is the only option, that you have no choice but to give into whatever the "Real One" wants and be banished to the shadows (at least, that's the way we've been treated by mainstream psychology up to current day, except for a small cadre of plural affirming providers who see it differently).

that all being said, i am absolutely fucking gutted for gemma, devastated for her, for where we ended the episode with her and for all her innies who had to experience absolute hell, and I don't want this for her. AND!!! i do not fucking hold it against mark s. and helly, that for once, they got to make their own fucking choice, not have their autonomy and consent stripped away from them, not be second fiddle and unimportant to the life of the outies. is it a good plan? doubtful!! but do i respect their desire to try to exist and be together? yeah. tbh oMark fumbled the fucking ball so hard with that conversation - the condescension, the clear inability to understand and accept that iMark is his own person with desires, needs, interests, relationships, and that maybe an apology isn't enough. (I mean, I think both Marks were sort of fucked by the time constraint and inability to share and obtain more information, but still.)

do hard choices have to be made regardless? yeah, there's not really any way everyone can win here. But still. I don't blame Mark S and Helly. As Helly said, "they give us half a life and expect us not to fight for it." really truly imagine what that must be like. and know that some systems are living it. and that it is deeply unfair.