My Disney Wrapped Would Be Like:

What do you mean Sambucky "crumbs"???

For over 5 years, Sambucky shippers built a whole fandom out of these these interactions in Captain America: Civil War

and these interactions in Avengers: Endgame

Bucky saying I love you to Sam is not "crumbs"!

It's a major developement.

I don't think anyone in the Sambucky fandom would have imagined we could even have this. This is amazing.

New I recognised this look from somewhere…

Do you ever think about the leather vest from Bucky's first appearance as the Winter Soldier? U know the one. The one with the buckles and the black leather and the ability to sexually frustrate someone until they literally explode. The one that I would 100% let Bucky wear as he fucked me. Yeah that one. Anyway do you ever think about that vest and just die.

DO YOU MEAN

THIS

FUCKING

VEST

?????

Because I DO, anon. 

I DO.

I think something a lot of other people can relate to is the way that you get so conditioned to discomfort that you stop registering it.

I remember sitting at the table with my family, eating dinner as a child. I’d try to eat, because of course I was hungry. But sometimes the flavor or texture was so repugnant that it moved into a category of Not Food.

“Two more bites before you can leave the table.”

“I can’t,” I’d say, trying to explain the impossibility.

But because I was a child they heard, “I won’t,” and made me sit at the table. I’d sit in dull agonized silence, bored and hungry for hours until bedtime when they’d give up. I’d hate myself for not eating and my parents for forcing me to sit there. The few forcefeeding moments ended in vomit.

They’d say, “If you don’t eat this you can’t eat a snack later,” and I moved past trying to communicate my discomfort into accepting that I’d just be hungry.

That state of affairs didn’t last, because my parents realized nothing could force me to eat so they catered to my palate, worrying they’d starve me. But the message stuck. If you can’t do anything about a situation, just accept the suffering.

A few years later my mother called me off the playground to ask, “Are you limping?”

I shrugged. My feet had hurt for a long time, but that was just the way things were now. My mom pulled my socks and shoes off and gasped. The soles of my feet were covered in huge painful planters warts.

“Why didn’t you say anything?!” She demanded but I could only shrug at her. I’d learned a long time ago that saying things about my discomfort didn’t matter, so now I had no words. Sometimes things hurt and sometimes they don’t. I simply accepted and did my best.

Now as an adult trying to learn to improve my own conditions can be hard. If I make food that I can’t eat I’ll force myself to sit at the counter still, full of guilt and self loathing, trying to will myself to eat it.

At first I needed my betrothed to gently take it away to present me with something I could eat. Now on my own I can usually admit that it’s not happening before too long and get something else, but I still feel guilty.

Laying in bed at night waiting for my betrothed to finish getting ready I let out a huge sigh of relief when they turned the lights off.

“Why didn’t you turn them off if they bothered you?” they asked the first time it happened.

“I didn’t even know it was bothering me until it was gone.”

Assessing my physical state now to see if I can improve it is something I’m still relearning but I’m relieved to finally have the space and support to do it.

Honestly Sam and Bucky’s journey in TFATWS goes from disdain to love because they spent the first part of it trying to see Steve in each other, and in turn resented each other when they didn’t succeed.

Bucky wanted to find Steve in the new Captain America. Sam wanted to find Steve in the 1940s super soldier. Neither of them succeeded and that bothered them. They wanted to replace what they lost.

‘Steve had a plan’

‘Steve adored Marvin Gaye’

Then as the episodes progress, they’re able to see each other as individual people (shock) for the first time properly and are able to realise like ‘hey, this guy isn’t Steve, but maybe he’s something else that’s amazing’.

Bucky realised that as a black man, Sam’s experience on this planet shaped him differently to how they shaped a blonde haired, blue eyed Steve and he has to be so much more careful in becoming Captain America. Sam realised that Bucky never wanted the life he had like Steve did, and power and the life of a hero was forced upon him without his consent so he would never be the bright eyed, happy to learn/embrace anything man that Steve was and that’s okay. They both finally saw each other in that show.

i know that's right

the thing that always gets me ESPECIALLY about autistic representation in media is that we are universally portrayed as happy-go-lucky, whimsical children, completely oblivious to the fact that the world constantly judges and scorns and HATES us.

We notice. I noticed. The reason I am as messed up as I am today is because i spent 20 LONG years in an environment where every day i was subjected to that. To noticing.

what an absolutely neurotypical view of us. Coddling themselves, getting to act like the way they treat us is fine because we don't understand that our peers dont respect us. Why would we? We're so subhuman to them, it's like asking if your cat notices you playfully insulting it.

Every autistic person I've ever met is on some level bitter and angry and TRAUMATIZED at their upbringing. Of having to go through school as the laughing stock, as the weirdo with no friends who no one wants to talk to, as the animal in the corner you can make do cheap tricks so they can experience some Simulacra of what genuine human connection is.

Now tell me, does it sound like I didn't notice?