Its Wallpaper Sized.

there's a bit of a language barrier there I think I just wanted a excuse to use this headcanon, but the dudes! the guys be vibin! did have another three pages planed for this, never got around to it though,,,

transcript and extras below the cut!

Xisuma/Grian: *general arguing about starting conflicts* Xisuma/Grian: *it is actualy about taxes* Cleo:,,, What are those two even arguing about? Zedaph: something about taxes? Maybe???

Cleo: What do you mean maybe? Zed, You always talk about how well you understand Galactic??

Zedaph: Hey! I can Read galactic very well, yes! ,,,spoken is, a different story however,,, Gem: yea, spoken galactic is honestly a struggle to learn,,,

Scar: what's with X trying to egg Grian into starting the                        another war over there Cleo:,,,Scar

Scar: hmm? Cleo: Scar, last week you said you didn't know any galactic.

Scar: oh, no no, I don't, why?

Zedaph/Gem/Cleo:,,, Scar: ,,, OH! Is that what that language is????

and here's the unused part of the script + my thumbnails! if any place deserved this part of the script, it'd be Tumblr <3

losing my MIND at zed’s new episode why are grian and zed the same person in different fonts. it’s like times new roman vs calibri. their senses of humor and penchant for creative chaos work so well together i’m losing it

Jimmy was doing just fine, thanks for asking.

It's not like, y'know, the few people who ever actually supported him were leaving.

He couldn't even blame them. Why would they want to hang around with the laughing stock of empires, the toy sheriff? He wouldn't want to hang out with himself either!

He just- it was nice. It was nice when Scar made a villager hall, just for him. When he built a whole train in tumble town, and a nice little village as well.

And Tango? Tango wasn't just nice (although he was very very very nice), Tango was amazing. Tango was wonderful and kind and smart and handsome and funny and creative and compassionate and so many things, and yet he chose to stay with Jimmy. Tango could have gone anywhere, done anything- hell, two other empires were already trying to get Tango to stay with them, and yet Tango chose Jimmy.

But now he wasn't. Now Tango was leaving because why shouldn't he? There's no soulbond to keep him at tumble town, so why would he stay? Everyone else decides he's not worth it, so why wouldn't Tango? What sign does he have that Tango would choose him again?

Except that Tango called the ranch his home. Except that Tango woke up early in the morning to feed the chickens. Except that whenever Jimmy slept past when Tango had to leave for Gobland, he left a note on the counter to say bye. Except that Tango spent what probably took hours getting Sing horns like they had back at the ranch.

Was it too far-fetched to think that Tango would choose to stay at tumble town- to stay with Jimmy? The hermits hadn't left yet, he could still ask him to stay. If Jimmy asked him, he might. But what if he still left? What if Jimmy begged Tango to stay, and he still chose to leave? Would the small chance that Tango might choose to stay be worth the much larger chance that he would reject him? Jimmy... Jimmy couldn't risk it. Everyone else turned on him. Everyone else tossed him aside for something new. And Jimmy didn't think he could handle looking Tango in the eyes when he inevitably turned away.

So he didn't ask. And Tango left.

Welcome to my next au, boatem in the apocalypse!

Summary: Five high schoolers try to survive the zombie apocalypse. What could go wrong?

And here's a snippet of what's to come!

The gun was lowered, and Scar glanced over at Grian with a questioning stare. Dark eyes met his green ones, and the avian almost imperceptibly shook his head. He had no idea what was going on then, either.

The man pulled off his gasmask, eyes wide. “You're Grian and Scar! From Hermitcraft High School?”

Scar's jaw dropped. “Impulse! No way- is that really you?”

“Dude!” Grian's face lit up. “We thought we were the only ones who survived!” He took a step forward, eyes pleading. “Have you seen my sister? Pearl? Long brown hair, moth wings, probably looking for me as well?”

Impulse shook his head. “Nope, sorry man. I've been keeping an eye out for anyone but... that explosion was pretty big.” His voice choked up. “...I had to dig Joel and Lizzie out of the rubble.”

Grian and Scar bowed their heads, silent in grief. They hadn't really known the two, but still... losing people you knew still hurt, even in the apocalypse.

Sausage??? You can't just do that to us mate???

This man just springs on us that he put himself in a time loop where he could never save his best friend??? And Pearl remembers but he has to leave right away??? This is Minecraft roleplay stop making me feel for the blocks.

I don't think you understand the comedic value of hiring a guy to be security for your museum only to come back one day and see said guy just standing there with the entire road outside of the building destroyed and caution tape in random parts of the building. Also he tells you there's hundreds of catalysts on your property.

25 for the wrapped drabble!

25: "Bremen", PigPen Theater Co.

It was part of the plan, everbody would stand On their hind legs, hands holding high the other Like a tower of brothers, and the one on the top Would crow warnings and call in the morning And call out the storm that was coming The one on the bottom would steer 'til the road was clear And people would learn to rejoice and to fear our coming

It is, ironically, a mild, wet temperature over Dogwarts, the sort of weather that mostly feels dreary rather than being properly cold, or snowy, or icy, or any of the sorts of things that the kinds of people who claim to bring forth winter would be expected to have over their fortress.

"Oh, come on, you've gotta be cheating!" says Skizz, throwing his cards down on the table. They're stained a strange purple. "Dippledop, tell them that he's cheating."

"I mean, I don't know, Skizz," Impulse says. "You aren't good enough at cheating to have taught me how to spot it..."

"I mean, you're the one marking cards," Martyn says idly.

"You know I can't help it!" says Skizz. "It's my ender-what's-its. My purple scales. My, my general, uh, what's a good word for it -"

"Ourple," Etho says.

"What?" Impulse says.

"He's ourple," Etho says, and then doesn't elaborate at all.

"You know, if you're going to accuse me of cheating, why not accuse him?" Martyn says. "I mean, look at him. He's wearing a mask while we're playing poker. That's basically against the rules."

"I don't have a face, man," Etho says.

"Did you mean -" Big B starts. Impulse puts a hand on his leg. Big B stops.

"I'm just saying," Martyn says, as he takes the distraction as an excuse to palm one of the cards using and replace it with a king he's been keeping in a pocket. He knows the king won't be suspicious largely because he's been keeping track of the cards Skizz has had, and the king he's about to put in his hand is the same one that Skizz had three hands earlier.

Martyn is going to win, like, so many meaningless favors from people who are all definitely going to die before Martyn can call them in, but hey. He's definitely going to die before he has a chance to worry about it, either.

(At one point, it had been about winning. He's good at cheating.)

"You know what, yeah! That is cheating! Show us your face, huh, Etho?" says Skizz, pointing dramatically. Big B snorts into his cards.

"Uh, I mean, I don't know, man," Etho says, putting his hands up and nervously backing up. "It's like - you know I don't take this off..."

"Actually, yeah," Impulse says. "I sorta wanna see you try to keep a poker face. Take it off, Etho."

"Woah, woah boys. I know we're all friends here, but I don't know if I'm ready for a strip tease," Martyn says, which makes Etho turn bright red, and also makes Big B flustered enough that Martyn can see his hand. Okay, that's not a threat. Not that Big B's a threat to anyone, really, but he's still green for a reason.

Skizz isn't a threat for a completely different reason. His heart's right there on his sleeve. He has a shit hand this round. He gave that given that well away the moment he drew it.

That leaves Etho and Impulse to figure out.

"I - oh, geez, guys," Etho says. "I -"

"Take it off!" Skizz starts chanting. "Take it off! Take it off!"

"I'm - I like you guys, but I'm not taking off my mask!" Etho says. "Impulse, Impulse, we're buddies. You should understand!"

"Yeah, but like..." Impulse says, before shrugging. "I mean, if it really upsets you, I guess... Guys, maybe we should stop."

"Naw, don't try to talk him out of it!" Skizz says.

"Haha, you know, I want to see it too," Big B says. "It's a bonding thing, right?"

"Oh, well you can't argue with the bonding thing, now can you," Martyn says.

"Guys," Impulse starts saying, and then there's the sound of a creaking door, and everyone stops at once as the courtyard changes from dreary and wet to a certain chill. If Martyn didn't know any better, he'd say it's the chill of the grave, but there hadn't ever been any for him, so. Probably not.

Instead, it's just...

"My loyal Dogwarts," says Ren, quietly. "What is all of this commotion about?"

"We're playing cards, My Lord," Martyn says immediately. "See?"

He shows his hand to Ren. Ren chuckles.

"Well, laddie. Show me how you win at cards."

Well, the answer to that's 'by cheating'. But he can't really show Ren that, now can he? He's got to keep some things in his pocket. Besides, it's not like any of the favors in the pot matter.

They're all gonna die before they matter. Some of them already are.

Martyn loses the hand to Impulse. He collects the favors with a sheepish grin. Ren barks out a laugh. "You'll get them next time, laddie."

"I'm sure I will," Martyn says.

"Mom, Ren's playing favorites," Etho whines.

"That's - that's unbecoming a knight of -"

"Yeah, Ren's playing favorites," Big B says.

"I mean, dudes, uh, I mean - my loyal Dogwarts -"

Martyn laughs so hard that he forgets to pay attention, and loses the next hand too.

Well somebody’s to blame, and it can’t be Jimmy!

An art dump for the hermit archives au by @chrisrin, been really enjoying reading all the fics and plan to draw more

They are skrunky your honor