The Townspeople: Tell us your backstory Victor.
Victor (closing his eyes for 12 minutes, opening them, exhaling long and loud): No. I gotta go.
Billy being the guardian of the Rock of Eternity which holds many of the most evil creatures in the world like the seven deadly sins is hilarious to me. Probably not canon but in this au every few years he meets up with the other beings who watch over a bunch of dangerous sinners. They use the meetings to share any strategies or mishaps so they can help each other be more efficient but since they’ve all been around for thousands of years minimum, they’ve pretty much optimized their systems so they spend most of the time gossiping and hanging out lol.
Really stupid au where when they were younger, Kakashi and Obito shared an accidental kiss a lot like Sasuke and Naruto. (Kakashi commits to his mask shortly after but will never not insist it's unrelated)
Years later and Kakashi, trying to cheer up Naruto and Sasuke ab their own embaressing accidental first kiss, shares his own story
Then, years later when Obito reveals himself on the battlefield, instead of going "woah, another Uchiha!?" when he hears his name, Naruto can't help but point and shout OH MY GOD UR THE GUY WHO KISSED SENSEI!!!!!!!!
Instant dead silence. (Obito wants to die)
Sakura, who never heard the story ab how it was a one time accidental kiss: "omg... sensei's childhood boyfriend went evil on him... this is so fucked up"
Obito is VIOLENTLY thrown off by this turn of events (and also hasn't actually thought ab it in years oh my god that did happen didn't it)
Kakashi, seeing how badly it threw him off, and also the kind of person who plays hard into throwing people off and generally fucking w them to gain an edge, seeing Sakura mumbling ab lovers to enemies and just kinda goes "Yeah Obito I can't believe you'd do this to me I thought we had smthn special."
"Yeah a rivalry????"
"So I was only ever a way for u to get stronger,, figures u were using me,,,"
[Confused Obito car crash noises]
Sakura yells smthn ab him being a deadbeat and how Kakashi can do so much better and Naruto is instantly shouting in agreement as Sasuke stands there like "hn." Which is basically the same thing for him
Kakashi just starts straight up lying actually
"What about all those picnics we went on... watching the sun set over konoha..."
"Are you talking about when Minato said we weren't allowed to come back inside till we stopped arguing and ate on opposite ends of the roof bc we couldn't even look at eachother without yelling???"
"It was so romantic."
Obito, starting to actually doubt himself, "was that a date????"
(It was not.)
"You died in my arms..."
"I died under a rock"
"We literally got eye married" (not a thing, he just made this up 3 seconds ago)
"We got WHAT" (no one can prove him wrong tho bc no surviving Uchiha knows that much ab their clans marriage traditions)
"Oh my god sensei's husband is a deadbeat" - sakura, horrified (and maybe a little delighted)
"Figures." -Sasuke, who's been in proximity w Obito for some time now and absoloutley believes every word ab this topic Kakashi is saying
"Woah. This is almost as bad as the fact he murdered my parents when I was a baby dattebayo" - Naruto who's priorities are NOT what they should be
"Ok. I wouldn't go that far." - Sasuke, who's priorities are also fucked but not THAT fucked, oh my god Naruto
"No, no he's right. We should kill him even harder for this" - Sakura, who doesn't actually agree but wants an excuse for more juicy sensei love drama (and also wants to see Obito beaten to death anyways)
Most of the other women in fiction when the love interest is a bad man: its okay, i can fix him. Ill change him <3
Inej Ghafa: no one can change this mf. If he loves me, he'll change himself
Angst idea for billy batfam: for whatever reason billy is given a punishment from Bruce: no magic until told otherwise. No spells. No heroing. No magic
The problem is that Bruce doesn't understand magic and doesn't understand that billy isn't like zatanna or constantine, he can't just not do magic. 6 gods, the living Lightning and the magic of eternity all bottle up inside a malnourished little kid? It'll burn him alive
but... he's learned better than say no to a pissed off adult
The gods make the executive decision: billy can't stay here. Not anymore.
Ooooh this is good. Thank you for the ask!
Oh, the “no heroing” punishment alone is bad. Because that infringes on his responsibilities within the Magic community. He has work to do damnit!
But no magic? That is basically a death sentence. No joke, asking someone who is so intrinsically tied to magic to NOT use it, is not going to end well.
And the worst thing is, Bruce thinks this is for the best. He still doesn’t get magic after so many years because he doesn’t want to. All magic brings is chaos and a headache. He toned his hate down for Billy, but it’s still there. He’s worried that magic will ruin his new son’s life, so he decides to separate them, like you would your kid from a toxic friend.
But it’s eating Billy up inside. Now, he has voices in his head yelling at him to use his powers. He has magic practically boiling within his very core, hitting along every inch of his inner muscles. He feels like he’s burning up. Like he’s eaten so much that he can’t eat anymore.
Still, he doesn’t say anything. He knows better. After so many foster and group homes that promise they’ll be better than the last, this one feels different somehow. He has hope. It’s not a lot, but it’s there. If he says or does anything to ruin that, it’ll only be his fault.
But his patrons think otherwise.
They acknowledge that these vigilantes have good intentions, for humans. But ultimately, Billy’s wellbeing matters the most. And if he continues to not use his magic, he won’t survive to the next year. It’s like asking him to not take medicine. To not sleep. To not eat or drink.
At some point, the Batman’s intentions don’t matter. Billy needs to go to the Rock immediately. Zeus apologizes profusely before piloting his body and teleporting all the way to the Subway to Eternity.
He can’t stay, they tell him. And, despite wanting a family more than anything, Billy knows they’re right.
*cue Captain Marvel avoiding being in a room alone with Batman and any of his batgirls or robins.*
Hands down one of the best scenes in all of The Boys is when Becca meets the boys and they’re all grinning like assholes when Butcher goes all soft on her
this and the fact that they have similar speech mannerisms
Annie Cresta really was that girl. She had the living legend and sex symbol of Panem Finnick Odair, whom everyone in the nation wanted so hopelessly in love with her that he could not function at all and had to be sedated numerous times when she was taken by the Capitol.
GET HIS ASS! Literally bleeding from the sword held to her throat and she will not miss a chance to talk shit. Valentine's biggest hater forever <3