@the-hottest-band-tournament For Mötley Crüe

Dr. Feelgood era Nikki as a little treat for me

(and you if you want)

Motley Crue

I had no idea these were some of the things Motley Liked

Round 5.5 of The Hottest 80s Band Tournament

Mötley Crüe 

Defeated opponents: Cybotron, The Beach Boys, XTC, The Clash

Formed in: 1981

Genres: hard rock, metal rock, Glam metal, heavy metal

Lineup: Vince Neil- vocals 

Mick Mars- guitar

Nikki Sixx- bass

Tommy Lee- drums 

Albums from the 80s: 

Too Fast for Love (1981)

Shout at the Devil (1983)

Theatre of Pain (1985)

Girls, Girls, Girls (1987)

Dr. Feelgood (1989)

Propaganda: the all black, the messy hair, the sloppy makeup, the good makeup, the skimpy clothes, the high heels, the fingerless gloves, I could fix him (I absolutely could not), MORE HAIR. I love these trashy goth bitches

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts 

Defeated opponents: The Fall, They Might Be Giants, Hall and Oates, Siouxsie and the Banshees

Formed in: 1975

Genres: Rock, hard rock, punk rock 

Lineup: Joan Jett - vocals, guitar

Ricky Byrd - guitar

Gary Ryan - bass

Lee Crystal - drums

Albums from the 80s:  

I Love Rock 'n Roll (1981)

Album (1983)

Glorious Results of a Misspent Youth (1984)

Good Music (1986)

Up Your Alley (1988)

Propaganda: 

That’s the combat stance. You mulch their ankles

The problem with folks arguing on the Internet about whether it's "realistic" to use a scythe as a weapon is that they're almost never actually talking about scythes; they're talking about some sort of fictitious vaguely-scythe-inspired polearm, and there's no point having an argument about that, because obviously a weapon can be used as a weapon. Let's bring real scythes into the picture – I want to see the hypothetical combat stance for one of these:

Feeling sickk

Round Six of The Hottest 80s Band Tournament

Mötley Crüe 

Defeated opponents: Cybotron, The Beach Boys, XTC, The Clash, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Formed in: 1981

Genres: hard rock, metal rock, Glam metal, heavy metal

Lineup: Vince Neil- vocals 

Mick Mars- guitar

Nikki Sixx- bass

Tommy Lee- drums 

Albums from the 80s: 

Too Fast for Love (1981)

Shout at the Devil (1983)

Theatre of Pain (1985)

Girls, Girls, Girls (1987)

Dr. Feelgood (1989)

Propaganda: the all black, the messy hair, the sloppy makeup, the good makeup, the skimpy clothes, the high heels, the fingerless gloves, I could fix him (I absolutely could not), MORE HAIR. I love these trashy goth bitches

Guns N’Roses 

Defeated opponents: ZZ Top, Pantera, A-Ha, The Go Go’s, Fleetwood Mac

Formed in: 1985

Genres: Hard rock 

Lineup: Axl Rose- vocals 

Slash- lead guitar

Izzy Stradlin- rhythmic guitar

Duff McKagan- bass

Steven Adler- drums 

Albums from the 80s: 

Appetite for destruction (1987)

G N’ R Lies (1988)

Propaganda: “The sluttiest a man can do is be in the Guns’N Roses’s original lineup” 

“Watch this video and tell me slash doesn't have pretty boy babygirl swag”

“Whoo! Time for more Guns N’ Roses propaganda (and by that I mean an excuse to gush about Steven Adler, one of my favorite drummers/people ever)

First off, look at him. This is, and so cannot stress this enough, one of the cutest people I’ve ever seen. Ever. Look at him! (And also, he’s a drummer so he’s fun-size - he is 5’7 at most and at least some of you reading could pick him up)

And he’s one of the greatest and most fun drummers to ever live. I’ve heard maybe 3 other drummers who are as fun to listen to and who have as good of a feel for matching the actual emotion of a song (harder to explain with drumming, but even though they’re both love songs, wouldn’t do the same solos for Patience and Sweet Child o Mine - it’s the same deal here). The demo for Back Off Bitch runs laps around the full version and half of that is because of him.

Izzy Stradlin himself has said that he gave early Guns N’ Roses their feel and that things got weird and “nothing worked” without him (I swear to god that’s a direct quote). You know how hard it is to get a guitarist or singer to recognize and actually admit that? And he’s never made a bad song or sounded boring, and that’s really rare for 80s-era hard rock drummers. Even Tommy Lee’s had his weird songs and I can’t say the same here.

And some bonus propaganda before I write another five paragraphs”

Visual propaganda for Mötley Crüe:

Visual propaganda for Guns N’Roses:

I don’t know how to explain this fully, but I think Jon Bon Jovi has ended up the way I expected Axl Rose to and Axl Rose has turned out the way I expected Jon Bon Jovi to.

💝 Steven Steven Steven 💝