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Round 5.5 of The Hottest 80s Band Tournament

Bon Jovi 

Defeated opponents: Salt-N-Pepa, Violent Femmes, Queensrÿche, The Cure

Formed in: 1983

Genres: Hard rock, area rock, pop rock

Lineup: Jon Bon Jovi- vocals

 David Bryan- keyboard 

Tico Torres- drums

Alec John Such- bass

Richie Sambora- guitar

Albums from the 80s: 

Bon Jovi (1984)

7800 Fahrenheit (1985)

Slippery When Wet (1986)

New Jersey (1988)

Propaganda: Genre-defying powerhouse of a band. So many classic songs. Every member was some flavor of hot but Richie was married Heather Locklear hot and Jon was hot enough to make you want to take a risk on a Jersey boy. Their stage show was iconic with Jon, Richie and Alec fitted with wires so they could be lifted up and fly out over the crowd mid-performance. (See the video for Livin' on a Prayer to see this in action) They're still performing to this day and Jon is still married to his high school sweetheart which I think is kind of adorable.

Warrant

Defeated opponents: Yes, Spadau Ballet, Sepultura, Metallica

Formed in: 1984

Genres: Hard Rock, Hair Metal 

Lineup: Jani Lane- vocals and acoustic guitar

Joey Allen- guitar

Erik Turner- guitar

Steven Sweet- drums

Jerry Dixon- bass

Albums from the 80s: 

Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich (1989)

Propaganda: The Cherry Pie music video. That’s it, that’s my answer

Round Six of The Hottest 80s Band Tournament

Mötley Crüe 

Defeated opponents: Cybotron, The Beach Boys, XTC, The Clash, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Formed in: 1981

Genres: hard rock, metal rock, Glam metal, heavy metal

Lineup: Vince Neil- vocals 

Mick Mars- guitar

Nikki Sixx- bass

Tommy Lee- drums 

Albums from the 80s: 

Too Fast for Love (1981)

Shout at the Devil (1983)

Theatre of Pain (1985)

Girls, Girls, Girls (1987)

Dr. Feelgood (1989)

Propaganda: the all black, the messy hair, the sloppy makeup, the good makeup, the skimpy clothes, the high heels, the fingerless gloves, I could fix him (I absolutely could not), MORE HAIR. I love these trashy goth bitches

Guns N’Roses 

Defeated opponents: ZZ Top, Pantera, A-Ha, The Go Go’s, Fleetwood Mac

Formed in: 1985

Genres: Hard rock 

Lineup: Axl Rose- vocals 

Slash- lead guitar

Izzy Stradlin- rhythmic guitar

Duff McKagan- bass

Steven Adler- drums 

Albums from the 80s: 

Appetite for destruction (1987)

G N’ R Lies (1988)

Propaganda: “The sluttiest a man can do is be in the Guns’N Roses’s original lineup” 

“Watch this video and tell me slash doesn't have pretty boy babygirl swag”

“Whoo! Time for more Guns N’ Roses propaganda (and by that I mean an excuse to gush about Steven Adler, one of my favorite drummers/people ever)

First off, look at him. This is, and so cannot stress this enough, one of the cutest people I’ve ever seen. Ever. Look at him! (And also, he’s a drummer so he’s fun-size - he is 5’7 at most and at least some of you reading could pick him up)

And he’s one of the greatest and most fun drummers to ever live. I’ve heard maybe 3 other drummers who are as fun to listen to and who have as good of a feel for matching the actual emotion of a song (harder to explain with drumming, but even though they’re both love songs, wouldn’t do the same solos for Patience and Sweet Child o Mine - it’s the same deal here). The demo for Back Off Bitch runs laps around the full version and half of that is because of him.

Izzy Stradlin himself has said that he gave early Guns N’ Roses their feel and that things got weird and “nothing worked” without him (I swear to god that’s a direct quote). You know how hard it is to get a guitarist or singer to recognize and actually admit that? And he’s never made a bad song or sounded boring, and that’s really rare for 80s-era hard rock drummers. Even Tommy Lee’s had his weird songs and I can’t say the same here.

And some bonus propaganda before I write another five paragraphs”

Visual propaganda for Mötley Crüe:

Visual propaganda for Guns N’Roses:

Round 5 of The Hottest 80s Band Tournament

Guns N’Roses 

Defeated opponents: ZZ Top, Pantera, A-Ha, The Go Go’s

Formed in: 1985

Genres: Hard rock 

Lineup: Axl Rose- vocals 

Slash- lead guitar

Izzy Stradlin- rhythmic guitar

Duff McKagan- bass

Steven Adler- drums 

Albums from the 80s: 

Appetite for destruction (1987)

G N’ R Lies (1988)

Propaganda: the sluttiest a man can do is be in the Guns’N Roses’s original lineup 

Watch this video and tell me slash doesn't have pretty boy babygirl swag

Fleetwood Mac

Defeated opponents: X, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Blues Brothers, Led Zeppelin

Formed in: 1976

Genres: Rock, pop rock, folk rock soft rock, blues rock, art pop, British blues

Lineup: Lindsey Buckingham – guitar, vocals, additional keyboards, lap harp

Stevie Nicks – vocals, tambourine

Christine McVie – keyboards, vocals

John McVie – bass guitar

Mick Fleetwood – drums, percussion

Albums from the 80s: 

Live (1980)

Mirage (1982)

Tango in the Night (1987)

Greatest Hits (1988)

Propaganda: In the late 70s and through the 80s, everyone attracted to women was enchanted by Stevie Nicks at one point or another, even Prince. And if Prince went out of his way to try to get with someone, you KNOW they're hot stuff! Lindsey Buckingham and Christine McVie were easy on the eyes as well, and Mick Fleetwood got tons of action. They were also hugely successful musically.

Visual propaganda for Guns N’Roses:

More Mötley pröpaganda @the-hottest-band-tournament

Jesus fucking Christ

Had to brush my teeth in the kitchen sink

Absurdly long hunting knives, a collection

Metal, horror, and my knife fetish (I’ll let you decide if that’s a joke or not). And a little artistic gore, as a treat

My name’s Nikki, but you can call me whatever you want - I prefer Bastard

Obviously mentally ill

This one ain’t for the kids

(@the-lad-system)

You're always so cutie & funny, lol

LOVE TOMMY!!!!!!!!! 😻